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Offlinemakaveli8x8
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Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 21,636
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: I'm gonna be a dad and.... [Re: aDoS]
    #7593877 - 11/04/07 09:26 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

i hate to say it but i think she's using you, if she really cared she wouldn't make you work 60 hours a week when she is fully capable of bringing in $200-$600 a week.

at this point with a kid on the way(i assume only a month along), if she's not willing to work now for the baby....then she's prob never going to work.

Are you going to be ok working 60 hours every week for the rest of your life because she's to lazy 2? In effect the only reason you couldn't get an education is because she's been so dam lazy up to this point anyway!

Honestly i feel you really need to straighten her out or leave her...and later on file papers for the kid and demand child support from her.

hell file the papers now and make the newspaper.


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We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.


Edited by makaveli8x8 (11/04/07 09:27 AM)


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OfflineKamin
Male


Registered: 02/04/07
Posts: 449
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: Im gonna be a dad and.... [Re: aDoS]
    #7593935 - 11/04/07 09:48 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

One way or the other the thing to do now, since you want to make it work, is to find a better paying job, since as you said, it is hardly sufficient for even you and your girl, much less you, your girl, and a child. Going to school may make some things difficult for time, but it will enable you to improve your situation in the future, which is where you need to be focusing if you plan on making this work. A few classes at a community college at night would be worth the expense, plus, they are often cheaper than you think.


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
Stranger
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Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 21,636
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Im gonna be a dad and.... [Re: Kamin]
    #7593958 - 11/04/07 09:59 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

they have a few courses that they actually teach you on the job, i forget wth its called, i think they might actually pay for it as well i dunno. Althow alot of these are hardcore like brick mason lol but if you work union or something you get paid like $21 + an hour


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We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.


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Invisiblebadchad
Mad Scientist

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 13,372
Re: Im gonna be a dad and.... [Re: Kamin]
    #7593964 - 11/04/07 10:00 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Like others have said, you need to take a serious look at your financial situation. Money is the number one cause of arguments in relationships, at $2500/month you guys are going to be facing some very serious financial hardships. Squabbling over whether or not you can get $10 for a couple beers is going to put a tremendous strain on your relationship.


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...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436


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Offlineemilbus
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Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 1,113
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
Re: I'm gonna be a dad and.... [Re: Kamin]
    #7593965 - 11/04/07 10:00 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

i don't think i would be able to find a better job. this is the best so far. as far as being lazy, I'm letting it slide because in the beginning of our relationship i didn't have a job for about 5-6 months, then again like 5 months later i didn't have a job for like 2-3 months. she basically supported us in the first 2 years we were together. now I'm supporting her. as far as classes are concerned, I'm thinking about taking some classes on line, but i have no idea what i should look into.


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You look down at me and you see a fool
You look up at me and you see a god
You look straight at me and you see yourself


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
Stranger
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Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 21,636
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: I'm gonna be a dad and.... [Re: emilbus]
    #7594024 - 11/04/07 10:16 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

well let the past slide, but its time for you both to get the gears rolling and prepare for your childs future, you both need well paying jobs like right now.

as for your job, take a walk down to your local union.


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We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.


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Invisiblebukkake
Male

Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 2,764
Loc: Classified
Re: I'm gonna be a dad and.... [Re: emilbus]
    #7594046 - 11/04/07 10:23 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Never have kids in America.


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Offlinecircularvortex
Bass Head
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 12,148
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 4 months, 30 days
Re: I'm gonna be a dad and.... [Re: emilbus]
    #7594063 - 11/04/07 10:28 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

I'd have to agree with makaveli8x8.

What does the gf do all day while you're busting your balls on 12 hour work days (assuming you work 5 days a week)? I don't care if you didn't have a job for a few months, you have a baby coming and you will need money. Tell her to get off her newly pregnant ass and flip some fucking burgers.


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No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.

For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.



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OfflinegeokillsA
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙
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Registered: 05/08/01
Posts: 23,417
Loc: city of angels Flag
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Re: Im gonna be a dad and.... [Re: emilbus]
    #7594109 - 11/04/07 10:44 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

You have to do what is right for you, but even more you have to do what is right for your potential child. Of course, unless you do what is right for you first, you're going to have a hard time on the second piece of the puzzle. Therefore, I suggest "potential" child, as depending on how far along into this you and yours are, there may still be the option of abortion. I am quite frankly amazed that no one has mentioned it yet. Adoption is all well and good, but for me personally, with the matters facing our species from the over-consumption of our resources and the often unsatisfactory level of stability for children in foster care, I would not hesitate to honestly and seriously consider the option to abort this pregnancy.

If you cannot afford to go back to school, how in the hell do you expect to afford to raise a child? Children are extremely expensive, and seeing how much you care about the well-being of your family, it could be a troubling reality to realize that you cannot provide for your child in the way that you would like - either through educational practices, medical support, real-world experiences, or even time (if you end up having to stay away from home and work all the time just to make ends meet).

I applaud you for your optimistic and caring attitude towards your lover and child, but now more than ever you have to be realistic. Of course, this is something you will need to discuss with your partner, and if she absolutely won't hear of it, or you yourself are adamantly opposed to the practice of abortion, well then I can at least understand what you are doing. But given the small scraping of information you have provided us, if I were in your shoes, I would be looking towards abortion right away.

Even in my position with a good lot of savings racked up, living in a house, aged a quarter-century, I wouldn't be able to handle raising a child. Even if I may be able to afford it financially, the relationship I have with my lover right now is not conducive to bringing up a child in a loving, stable, and committed household over the long-term... we have discussed this and both agree that now is not the time. Should an accident occur, abortion will be the likely course of action. I made it through my parent's divorce, and while so many people seem to say that you can have the child and be there for him/her, but be so quick to leave your partner, that just doesn't fly in my book. If you are already thinking about leaving the lady before you've even had the kid, having the kid is not the right thing to do!

Realize this is all coming from my own point of view. I don't presume to know all the ins and outs of your relationship, but I also don't want to see you making choices that will lower the quality of your life in the future, as well as that of your family and child. You have to be smart, be honest, engage in open communication with your partner at all times and do what you can to make sure you are both on the same page. Gaining perspective is a good thing, so even if you don't agree with me, I hope you have listened to me.

Good luck, and though I'm not a religious man, perhaps you are - so God Bless.


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··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙··
...π╥ ╥π...


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InvisibleCherryBomM
Yoga Gypsy
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Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
Re: Im gonna be a dad and.... [Re: geokills]
    #7594141 - 11/04/07 10:55 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Probably the best, and most well-thought out advice in this entire thread.  :heart:


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Offlineemilbus
Drunk
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Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 1,113
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
Re: Im gonna be a dad and.... [Re: geokills]
    #7594286 - 11/04/07 11:50 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

thanks man, thats some real shit right there. abortion is out of the question and as far as money goes and her working. she has been wanting to get a job but the sickness is keeping her from doing anything. shes in bed all day and kind of moving about at night. she still cant keep anything down. she is slowly getting better though. she does want to go back to work but for all the wrong reasons. she wants money for better clothes and dumb chick shit not to help me out with bills. the reason why shes not worried is because she comes from an immediate family of 12. her twin brother has a 7 year old son and hes my age with another kid on the way. they are living from paycheck to paycheck but seem to be fine so in her eyes that will be okay. not for me though. i have a few ideas in mind to get her motivated and start working for us and our new family but it will take some time. things will work out it will just be a little harder for me.


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You look down at me and you see a fool
You look up at me and you see a god
You look straight at me and you see yourself


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