|
dutchmushroom
mushroom invader



Registered: 08/02/06
Posts: 1,393
Loc: Outer Space
|
a song i rote
#7588203 - 11/02/07 03:03 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
tell me what you think:
for 40 days and 40 nights the rains been pourin down
down on my head, down on my head,
for 40 days and 40 nights the winds been blowing round, theres no dirt left on the ground
left on the ground, winds been blowing round
well the rain it may fall and the wind it may blow, but that dont bother me at all
o, o, let the rain fall
when the thunder seems quite as a church mouse and the the sky's only storming on one house theres nothing left in this world to do noone left but me and you,
O the rain keeps pourin down, down on my head, down on my head
but in the distance i see the clouds breaking to a blue sky, its a beautiful day only to be experienced by you and I
roll away the clouds, here comes the sun, here comes the sun
the rain's made all things new left no dirt on me or you everythings new and clean as far as i can see this how, this how, things were ment to be
im not totally done with it yet, probly gonna make it longer, but what do you guys think of it?
by the way when you read it picture jerry garcia singing it, because thats the kind of style its ment to be
peace out Dm
-------------------- "Comes a time when the blind man takes your hand says: don't you see? Gotta make it some how, on the dreams you still believe, Don't give it up, you've got an empty cup, only love can fill, only love can fill" < Grateful Dead! The bus came by and I got on, and thats when it all began GROWLIGHT KIT, 250w HPS Digital ballast, + Enhanced Spectrum bulb and Reflector Sale Or Trade!
|
WhiskeyClone
Not here


Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
|
|
Quote:
dutchmushroom said:
...
by the way when you read it picture jerry garcia singing it, because thats the kind of style its ment to be
Ah crap I was picturing Trent Reznor
-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
|
shamantra
hobbyethnobotanist


Registered: 05/18/04
Posts: 1,177
Loc: ¯\(º_o)/¯
|
|
I think you shall keep writing
dont get me wrong here, i think what you wrote is good, not great but it sure as hell isnt bad, and that you shall keep on writing on this song and new songs
gj
-------------------- note: english is my 3rd languange, please ignore misspelling and poor english, im doing my best http://youtube.com/watch?v=ug98TKkWKy0
|
dutchmushroom
mushroom invader



Registered: 08/02/06
Posts: 1,393
Loc: Outer Space
|
Re: a song i rote [Re: shamantra]
#7588495 - 11/02/07 04:18 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
thats for that comments, yeah those lyrics were just kinda poppin around in my head so i just typed them out, i have ritten way better songs then that, im in the proccess of putting guitar music to some of them,
peace out Dm
-------------------- "Comes a time when the blind man takes your hand says: don't you see? Gotta make it some how, on the dreams you still believe, Don't give it up, you've got an empty cup, only love can fill, only love can fill" < Grateful Dead! The bus came by and I got on, and thats when it all began GROWLIGHT KIT, 250w HPS Digital ballast, + Enhanced Spectrum bulb and Reflector Sale Or Trade!
|
Adom
Totally Nude


Registered: 09/30/01
Posts: 10,877
Loc: Way Up North
|
|
I liked it, it seems you know how to write.... Stop the GD-Jerry influence so heavy, go back to his influences, Django.
My .02
|
Yrtlzmo

Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 2,623
|
|
.
Edited by Yrtlzmo (02/06/13 08:55 PM)
|
dutchmushroom
mushroom invader



Registered: 08/02/06
Posts: 1,393
Loc: Outer Space
|
Re: a song i rote [Re: Yrtlzmo]
#7591226 - 11/03/07 02:05 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
liked it, it seems you know how to write.... Stop the GD-Jerry influence so heavy, go back to his influences,
wow i never really thought of that before.. but that is probly the best advice i have ever been given,
those lyrics were basicly a freestyle anyway
peace out Dm
-------------------- "Comes a time when the blind man takes your hand says: don't you see? Gotta make it some how, on the dreams you still believe, Don't give it up, you've got an empty cup, only love can fill, only love can fill" < Grateful Dead! The bus came by and I got on, and thats when it all began GROWLIGHT KIT, 250w HPS Digital ballast, + Enhanced Spectrum bulb and Reflector Sale Or Trade!
|
razmablues
Biologist




Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 2,403
Loc: OrangeCounty
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
|
|
Quote:
dutchmushroom said: roll away the clouds, here comes the sun, here comes the sun
hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
comesssssssssss
sunnnnnnnnnnnnn
shiiiiiiiiiiiiine

i like it, but try making it more... imagine you singing it rather than jerr, you know? jerr was jerr singing those songs because they were his children, you gotta start your own family
-------------------- soft silly music is meaningful, magical
|
dutchmushroom
mushroom invader



Registered: 08/02/06
Posts: 1,393
Loc: Outer Space
|
|
haha nice
peace out Dm
-------------------- "Comes a time when the blind man takes your hand says: don't you see? Gotta make it some how, on the dreams you still believe, Don't give it up, you've got an empty cup, only love can fill, only love can fill" < Grateful Dead! The bus came by and I got on, and thats when it all began GROWLIGHT KIT, 250w HPS Digital ballast, + Enhanced Spectrum bulb and Reflector Sale Or Trade!
|
Adom
Totally Nude


Registered: 09/30/01
Posts: 10,877
Loc: Way Up North
|
|
Really though, you have all that creative thought and you are a person who can't be still.... Or so it seems to me.... Listen to a broad range of music, go deep, you have the right idea.
|
notapillow
I want to be a fisherman



Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
|
Re: a song i rote [Re: Adom]
#7591367 - 11/03/07 02:43 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
you can do it!
nice tune a little open. try and put some more experience in there
but i lik i like
--------------------
|
dutchmushroom
mushroom invader



Registered: 08/02/06
Posts: 1,393
Loc: Outer Space
|
Re: a song i rote [Re: Adom]
#7591389 - 11/03/07 02:51 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
yep im a little hyper.. well more like i cant focus on one thing for a long time unless i am under the influence of something,
i have listened to a broad range of music but i really only listen to the dead anymore because they are just the best music in the world to me,
i like most of the music from the 60's- early 70's, some bob dillan, joplin, floyd, jefferson airplane, etc.
ill try and be more original now,
i normally see things allot diferent then other people, sometimes its a good thing other times it screws me, i look at things with more detail then other people, for instance: the old is the cup half empty or half full question, if someone asks me that i ask them: was it a full glass of water that someone drank half of or was it empty then someone poured it half full?
so you see what i mean i guess
peace out Dm
-------------------- "Comes a time when the blind man takes your hand says: don't you see? Gotta make it some how, on the dreams you still believe, Don't give it up, you've got an empty cup, only love can fill, only love can fill" < Grateful Dead! The bus came by and I got on, and thats when it all began GROWLIGHT KIT, 250w HPS Digital ballast, + Enhanced Spectrum bulb and Reflector Sale Or Trade!
|
|