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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,792
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Re: I just kicked the Marlboro Man out of my house [Re: 7heather]
#7595679 - 11/04/07 06:17 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Welcome to the Shroomery 7heather 
Well guys, I just relapsed. Earlier this evening I had a Cyan trip with a friend, which especially for me was EXTREMELY difficult. Both of us estimate these fresh harvest cyans as 25+mg/gr Psilocybin, I shit you not. This unexpected strength made us trip an order of magnitude deeper than we anticipated (dose doublings do that with shrooms, noticed? With each doubling it's a whole different ballgame.)
Dry heaving, intense fear of dying, body wound up tight with anxiety. Godem, it was Hell. Sheer utter Hell.
Finally I managed to let go and I was overcome by a peace and a bliss that was indescribable. Whenever I struck up conversation though I felt bad again, until I let that go and focussed on my inner process. It was totally remarkable: I was being guided on the path of surrender. If I let go it would be bliss, if I sought diversion I'd feel bad.
I never reacted this extremely to mushrooms, and never was it so clear to me that there was actual guidance going on.
After my friend left I bought a pack of Marlbs. My mind had gotten ensnared by the chemistry of addiction.
I smoked one after four days of abstinence, after four days of lusting after it. Guess what...
Did it taste good? No, it tasted like shit. Did it feel good to inhale the smoke? No, I coughed, it doesn't feel good to inhale smoke. Did the nicotine feel good? No. My pulse went up, my mind got fuzzy, nothing desirable. No euphoria. Not even a crisis. Does it feel good to have the cravings lifted? Not particularly.
My relapse was a futile exercise in redundancy. I no longer want this, all it did was re-affirm that I'm through with tobacco.
I don't even feel "in the danger zone" for having relapsed: it just was in every possible way, nothing like I expected. A good thing: in the inhaling of the smoke I felt that four days of no smoking already have done my lungs a ton of good I flushed the cigarettes without emotion, it's just over between tobacco and me. So not worth it that it puzzles me how it held me hostage.
I guess fear of quitting kept me smoking. What a completely silly reason to poison yourself.
I didn't kick the Marlboro Man out of my house this time, or anything emotional like that, it was a matter-of-factly parting of ways.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
Edited by Asante (11/04/07 06:24 PM)
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Tangerines




Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,918
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 4 years, 22 days
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Re: I just kicked the Marlboro Man out of my house [Re: Asante]
#7595689 - 11/04/07 06:20 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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word I just made a simliar post. Good luck Wiccan. I am only 12 hours in, but I feel the cravings.
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DieCommie


Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 29,258
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Re: I just kicked the Marlboro Man out of my house [Re: Asante]
#7595693 - 11/04/07 06:20 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Keep trying dude! You knew it wouldnt be easy, and you cant expect to win every time. It seems like you have the right attitude though. Right now I am battling marijuana addiction, not fun! Its throwing me off my game, and I can cut back to just a hit or two of schwagg a day, but thats still fuckin me up.
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trendal
J♠



Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: I just kicked the Marlboro Man out of my house [Re: Asante]
#7595771 - 11/04/07 06:40 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Well it sounds like you did it wiccan! I did the same thing when I quit: I had a smoke a few days after and then a year after. Both left me feeling physically ill, and I didn't finish either of the smokes.
--------------------
Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,792
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Re: I just kicked the Marlboro Man out of my house [Re: DieCommie]
#7595794 - 11/04/07 06:44 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
I am only 12 hours in, but I feel the cravings.
If I didn't get overwhel;med by that trip I wouldn't have smoked. This fourth day the cravings were already markedly less frequent and intense. So hang in there Tang, the worst of it might only be the first three days.
Quote:
Keep trying dude! You knew it wouldnt be easy, and you cant expect to win every time.
I'll try stay on the path, it seems to only have shown me that I'm through with it. There was no reward effect to speak of.
Quote:
Right now I am battling marijuana addiction, not fun!
I used to smoke 0.5-1.5gr marijuana a day, typically a gram of quality dutch Indoor, for over a decade. I was addicted, aye. Marijuana addiction is a very real thing, despite many objections raised by mostly stoners who aren't quiting at the time 
What helped for me was reduce my use to the last 2-3 hours befoire bedtime. This way the cannabis didn't interfere with my daytime agenda and it kept the grammage down. Once you're toking, you want to toke more so postpone getting high altogether to the close of day.
What was hardest for me when I quit weed altogether was the insomnia. I solved that by drugging myself to sleep for two weeks.
Eventually I quit altogether and to my shock after a few months I didn't even miss it. At all. A $8 a day habit and I didn't miss it God that felt stupid.
Moderation is harder than quitting altogether. With quitting pot though, after a year or so has passed you got a new shot at using it responsibly, you are unaddicted once more. With nicotine: no dice, once an addict always an addict.
Occasionally (including tonight) I smoke a few tiny crumbs of hash. That gets me where I want to be and theres no escalation. Gimme a gram of hash and thats all I need in a year, whereas I was addicted to smoking that in a day for a decade.
It can be done, DieCommie. with Pot, it can be done.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Tangerines




Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,918
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 4 years, 22 days
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Re: I just kicked the Marlboro Man out of my house [Re: Asante]
#7595849 - 11/04/07 06:57 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Wiccan of all the occasions of relapse, yours is probably one of the most understandable. I have had a simple cig 'save' me during some intense trips. Good luck staying on track I hope to follow!
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Diploid
Cuban



Registered: 01/09/03
Posts: 19,274
Loc: Rabbit Hole
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Re: I just kicked the Marlboro Man out of my house [Re: Asante]
#7596284 - 11/04/07 08:33 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm SOOOOO glad I never took that up. Nicotine is such a lame drug. If I'm going to put a physically addicting monkey on my back to weigh me down, it sure as hell is gonna be a drug more fun than nicotine.
Good luck!
-------------------- Republican Values: 1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you. 2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child. 3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer. 4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.
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dutchmushroom
mushroom invader



Registered: 08/02/06
Posts: 1,393
Loc: Outer Space
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Re: I just kicked the Marlboro Man out of my house [Re: Diploid]
#7597597 - 11/05/07 07:50 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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ive been a stoner for 12 years, smoking anytime i can, but i have been broke or been getting drug tested and had to quit for months on end, and it was no problem, i really dont understand how people get "addicted" to cannabis, the only thing quiting weed has ever done to me is made me not sleep as good,
of course i want to smoke when i can't but its not like "omfg i gotta have a bowl right NOW" its just i would rather be stoned then sober, being sober is just boring as hell,
i also quit cigs with no problem, after a 7 year pack aday habbit, its really just a mental thing, if you think you are addicted with no hope of ever being able to quit.. you are, maybe i just have more will power then most people 
peace out Dm
-------------------- "Comes a time when the blind man takes your hand says: don't you see? Gotta make it some how, on the dreams you still believe, Don't give it up, you've got an empty cup, only love can fill, only love can fill" < Grateful Dead! The bus came by and I got on, and thats when it all began GROWLIGHT KIT, 250w HPS Digital ballast, + Enhanced Spectrum bulb and Reflector Sale Or Trade!
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,792
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Re: I just kicked the Marlboro Man out of my house [Re: dutchmushroom]
#7597629 - 11/05/07 08:07 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
i really dont understand how people get "addicted" to cannabis,
I don't "get" addiction to slot machines, but some people feed it everything they own.
Just because you yourself have little problems with it doesn't mean others can't have problems with it, and they are no less because of it.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Merkin
neep.



Registered: 07/04/03
Posts: 27,537
Loc: Ass Flavoured Pie Factory
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Re: I just kicked the Marlboro Man out of my house [Re: Asante]
#7597688 - 11/05/07 08:46 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
t takes 21 days to fully break a psychological habit.
it's alot lot longer than that... especially with nicotine. it's a sneaky cunt. good luck with that wiccan.
-------------------- Wheels of cheese wheeels of cheeeeese!!!
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Middleman

Registered: 07/11/99
Posts: 8,399
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Re: I just kicked the Marlboro Man out of my house [Re: Asante]
#7598222 - 11/05/07 12:03 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I quit cigs and pot 4 months ago, meditation and chewing licorice root really helps.
I'll hit a hookah after dinner, but it says "Tar: 0%" on the molasses box. (yeah right)
Don't give up Wiccan.
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