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Offlinecen_tex_looker
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Registered: 07/02/02
Posts: 186
Last seen: 14 years, 4 months
Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land
    #758112 - 07/19/02 05:56 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

SOME EXCUSES TO TELL THE FARMER AS TO WHY YOU ARE IN HIS FIELD.

I guess any good excuse depends upon the circumstances. I have a couple pre-made excuses waiting for that "first time" I get caught.

Excuse #1. "Mister, I think I just hit your dog with my car and he ran in this field" Before he has a chance to say "I don?t have a dog", you say "I am so sorry, I did?nt mean to hurt it, it just ran right out in front of me"....To pull off this excuse you must seem a lil upset (you will already be from getting caught) and seem to have total concern for the so called "Dog" you just hit. This is a good one if the farmer notices you and you have no way of running....In fact, if the farmer sees you first you should walk directly towards the farmer and act like you want to help find his hurt dog.

Excuse #2 "Sir, I was just looking for a Long Horn Skull" Tell the farmer that your buddy told you to go out to a cow field if you wanted a Long Horn Skull for your planter (They make cool plant holders)

Excuse #3 "Mister, I lost my dog somewhere in your field" Tell the farmer that you pulled over to the side of the road because your car was acting up. Say that your dog saw something and jumped out of your window and chased it into the field. All you are doing is looking for your dog and as soon as you find him, you will be one your way.

Excuse #4 "Sir, I am sorry for tresspassing but my friend told me there was a great fishing hole around here with 9 LB bass and I was just looking for it" This works especially good if you have a fishing pole in your car to back that claim up

Excuse #5 (Must carry a camera for this one) "Sir, I was just looking for the perfect picture of some cattle with egrets" Tell him some shit like "I run a web site or a school paper that needs the pictures. Even take a picture of him thanking him for letting you use his field for the pics.

Excuse #6 "I was looking for Indian artifacts like arrowheads and axe heads" Most "Relic" hunters go out looking for artifacts after a heavy rain (just like shroomers do) Tell him some stuff like "This area was rich in Indian heritage and I thought it would be perfect"...

And last but not least

Excuse #7 (only works if your Bin Laden) Tell the farmer that you were extremely horney and needed sex bad and the closest thing to a camel you could find in the USA was a cow. Hell, to Binny Boy it?s all pink inside...

Ok...I am new to this forum, but I am not new to all forums. One thing I do know what forums are good for, and that is GETTING FRESH IDEAS. So, if ayone else has any other good excuses, please post them because INFORMATION IS POWER

I really hope others add to this forum thread

P.S. I went out today again...no shrooms, but I did find this really cool old Dr. Pepper bottle that?s worth $100 bucks


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"If at first you don't succeed....break it all up in a fit of rage and throw it in the trash"


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Offlinecen_tex_looker
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Registered: 07/02/02
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Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #758152 - 07/19/02 06:16 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

Also...Did you know that in TEXAS, there are still old laws on the books that were never removed that stated that if a rancher finds a person on his property in possession of wire clippers he can hang them right then and there with no trial for being a cattle rustler...Funny what you learn when you do research


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"If at first you don't succeed....break it all up in a fit of rage and throw it in the trash"


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InvisiblePinhead
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Registered: 05/14/00
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Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #758193 - 07/19/02 06:35 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

Hows about, "My hubcap flew off into your field,I was just retrieving it" Might even help to carry one of them into the field with you.


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OfflineShroomyMcPot
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Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #758196 - 07/19/02 06:35 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

If the farmers house isnt on the land, just say "i was thinking of buying it and i was looking it over", and when he says its not for sale say "oops sorry, wrong pasture"


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Offlinecen_tex_looker
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Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #758211 - 07/19/02 06:42 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

GOOD ONES...THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR

Keep Um' Comin


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"If at first you don't succeed....break it all up in a fit of rage and throw it in the trash"


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Invisiblemickey_rourke
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Registered: 07/18/02
Posts: 3,333
Loc: Playa del Carmen
Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #758241 - 07/19/02 07:03 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

Just tell them that you're looking for insert local snake here and didn't mean any harm. Worst case is they let you go with a thorough ass chewing for being on their land without permission.


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"I tried to put it all behind me, but my redneck past is nipping at my heels.." -- Ben Folds Five


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Offlineshroom_assassin
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Registered: 07/05/02
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Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #758258 - 07/19/02 07:16 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

RUN


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Anal sex with birds


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Offlinecen_tex_looker
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Registered: 07/02/02
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Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #758280 - 07/19/02 07:33 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

Running is a last resort for me....Running is automatically saying "I am guilty of something"

and...

If you get caught after making a bunch of people chase you...They will def press charges....Try to get out of it without running.


--------------------
"If at first you don't succeed....break it all up in a fit of rage and throw it in the trash"


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Anonymous

Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #758497 - 07/19/02 08:55 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

- Post History Deleted Upon User's Request -


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Invisiblemjshroomer
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Loc: gone with my shrooms
Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: ]
    #758633 - 07/19/02 09:47 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

Dogs are the worst excuse you could use, While farmers often have dogs theriselves, one complaint I use to get from farmers was that pickers would bring their dogs into a field and dogs would spook the dairy cattle casuing them to not give the full amount of milk when milked.

anyway, It can be dangerous so keep that in mind.

I myself, who also has snuck into fields have had problems with farmers so for the last twnety years I always asked permission. That way if cops do come you can rattle their chains by proving them wrong for hassling you.

mj


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Offlinecen_tex_looker
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Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #758636 - 07/19/02 09:49 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

You could also say that someone gave you permission to be here. For instance;

Farmer: Hey you, what the hell are you doing on my god damn property?

You: I'm sorry sir, I was out here looking for Indian Arrow Heads...My friend (make up a name) told me his uncle owned this farm and it was OK for me to be here.

Farmer: I don't know who the hell you are, and I sure as hell don't know who (your made up friends name) is. I'm calling the cops

You: I'm sorry sir...It was just a simple mistake. Maybe if you could tell me where the (make up another name) farm is, I will leave your property right now and go there. Don't worry, I will never set foot on your land again.

Farmer: Ok...just get outta here and I don't wanna see you on my land again

Maybe, if you find a farmer that does not approach you with an attitude, you might even be able to talk him into letting you search his land for the arrow heads. Like I said B4, it all depends on the situation


--------------------
"If at first you don't succeed....break it all up in a fit of rage and throw it in the trash"


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Offlinecen_tex_looker
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Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #758642 - 07/19/02 09:54 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

Yea...but the farmer only sees that you are a "motorist", who hit a dog, which you think might be his....and all you are trying to do is locate it to see if it needs medical attention. I love animals, and if I hit a dog anywhere, anytime....I would venture onto anybody's property to locate that dog to make sure it's ok.


--------------------
"If at first you don't succeed....break it all up in a fit of rage and throw it in the trash"


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Invisiblemickey_rourke
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Registered: 07/18/02
Posts: 3,333
Loc: Playa del Carmen
Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #758653 - 07/19/02 10:00 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

I don't think "looking for a dog" would pan out too well when you're caught with a bag and/or a flashlight. If you're "hunting" snakes, the standard collecting equipment is easily explained.


--------------------
"I tried to put it all behind me, but my redneck past is nipping at my heels.." -- Ben Folds Five


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Offlinecen_tex_looker
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Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #758675 - 07/19/02 10:09 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

Hunting flashlight is not so good....It will upgrade your violation from tresspassing to prowling. I never have anything on me except a bag, and that can be folded up in your pocket until u find something...

These excuses only work if u DON'T get caught red handed with shrooms. That is a whole other dimension in lying that I have not thought about.....Hell, I have to find an active field though first....lol


--------------------
"If at first you don't succeed....break it all up in a fit of rage and throw it in the trash"


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Offlinecen_tex_looker
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Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #758833 - 07/19/02 11:34 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

I guess you could also just start mooing loudly and act like somebody at a party hypnotised you into thinking your a cow....you may get off on in insanity plee


--------------------
"If at first you don't succeed....break it all up in a fit of rage and throw it in the trash"


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Anonymous

Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: mjshroomer]
    #759514 - 07/19/02 05:04 PM (14 years, 4 months ago)

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Invisiblewhodi
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Registered: 07/02/02
Posts: 92
Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Lan [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #760538 - 07/19/02 11:58 PM (14 years, 4 months ago)

I'll tell the farmer you are looking for mushrooms and taking pictures of them in their habitat. You interested in mycology and since mushrooms or so diverse they would be a good place to doing some research. If you know more then I do about mycology, use it. You can even say you were looking for mushrooms for edible purposes. The landowner most likely don't know which are edible so, wouldn't bother you. At worst he would say, "burn-the-phuck-off", and you keep your sack. You may even get a landowner who's looking for shrooms too and may be able to help you in your search if you don't lie so much. Take your camera and dress like you planed on hunting shrooms because you did and it feel and look right.

You never know how long some one has been watching you on their land. Don't lie, bite the bullet, it's probly the best way out. peace
whodi


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OfflineJammer
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Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #760563 - 07/20/02 12:12 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

This one works for some:

Just tell the farmer that your there to pick the 'shrooms from the cow pies...... If he dosent buy that... tell him how you wantta have a three-some with his teenage daughter and one of his dairy cows... if that dosent work..... just advise him that all you really wanted to do was to plant some pot between his corn and tomato patches.


--------------------
>>Jammer>>


Edited by Jammer (07/20/02 01:13 AM)


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Offlinestarchild102375
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Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: Jammer]
    #761102 - 07/20/02 07:30 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

hello! new to this forum....I have a never ending cowfield in my backyard, and decided to start a new hobby. we decided to carry around my hubbies paintball guns....you guys can wear big cammies too, if ya really want to look like dorks and yet have plenty o' storage area


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Offlinecen_tex_looker
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Re: Excuses To Tell Farmers If Caught On Their Land [Re: cen_tex_looker]
    #766042 - 07/21/02 10:34 PM (14 years, 4 months ago)

If you are older...like in your 30's, you can say that when you were a kid, u used to mess around out in the fields and all you were doing was just reliving childhood memories....Say something like "Ya know, I lost my virginity right there under that old oak tree"....Farmer will probably just chase you off


--------------------
"If at first you don't succeed....break it all up in a fit of rage and throw it in the trash"


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