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c0_hush
Stranger


Registered: 07/16/06
Posts: 417
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
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Why did I go on a trip like this??
#7572684 - 10/29/07 11:30 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Hey all,
I'm new here and just typed up my 1st post last night under Contamination section on this board because I had a bizarre trip and thought the shrooms were somehow moldy... I posted a pic and someone replied and said it was fine which only leaves one possible explanation and that is it was all in my head...
Here is a link to the post, it pretty much explains my question behind the story: http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/7571598/an/0/page/0
So, why would I have a reaction like this to mushroom? It was my 2nd time doing this (the 1st time was about a year ago but all I got from that was body buzz because the day before I had had some other stuff which rendered the mushroom trip useless, i was still learning)
When I ate these shrooms couple of days ago, the set and setting was pretty good, I was home, by myself, had positive thoughts throughout the day and it was pretty dark in the room. Couple of weeks ago I had taken 1.5 tabs of acid and I think the time in between is acceptable or should have I waited longer? If these shrooms were good like the person who replied to my post said (there is a pic on that original thread) then they were definitely angry with me.. Now that I think about it, when I ate them, I started remembering weird stuff from my chilhood and at 1st, thought the mushroom was trying to tell me a story but soon after, I realized or thought somehow that it was a very sad story, i didn't know what it was about but I just kinda had the notion that it was a very sad one... Then one thing my mind focused on was something that happened to me when I was around 10-11 years old that I have questions about to this day and I remember is vaguely but it's not like I think about it every day or anything.. But I guess this was to be expected, meaning mushrooms bringing out this experience out in the open and making me confront it, I had something happen I still don't know what it was but it started when I noticed I had a hard time running and soon there was something wrong with my left leg and my mom took me to a hospital and they took a sample or something then I was in a cast for like a month but I still don't know what it was or how it happened or why or what the explanation was.. So on the mushroom trip I had the notion that if I finally knew what had happened, that I would then be able to get rid of my anxiety finally, etc. This made perfect sense while I was tripping and I kept questioning this incident and trying to make sense of it but I just couldnt. I was in a bad loop and then the agitation started because i wasn't having a sort of thip i was expecting and this was some sort of bad dream, even tho I had full coordination, I felt like I had no intelligence to do much else and I knew nothing...
I had tripped on Acid around 5 times and nothing like this ever happened. This was as if only the side effects and nothing good, no spiritual understanding, no conversation with divine, no visuals, etc. Just bad thoughts and very disappointed and agitated feeling. Maybe I didn't have enough but if I took 2 grams + 1gram and felt like this, maybe I should count my lucky stars cuz I was going to take 3 to start with, maybe I should work these feelings out now that I'm aware I'm obviously very troubled lol and have to work on this psychologically, I didn't think I was but I actually do have Social Anxiety and maybe the mushroom showed me stuff I didn't want to see or didn't realize...
Anyway, I have no idea how to go about working this out and even making sense of it... I wanna keep experimenting with mushrooms but I can't take many more experiences like this, what am I to do?
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Ness1
Spreading myinvisible wings


Registered: 10/01/07
Posts: 621
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: Why did I go on a trip like this?? [Re: c0_hush]
#7572697 - 10/29/07 11:35 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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You're to chill out. Not every trip is going to be rainbows and flowers. You have to take the good with the bad and move on.
-------------------- I know what they'll find, it's in their mind, it's what they want to see. Spare me from the light, here comes the night and here I'll stay, waiting for darkness.
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milkman
DeliveringWorldWide



Registered: 07/04/07
Posts: 2,108
Loc: tha FLA
Last seen: 2 months, 29 days
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Re: Why did I go on a trip like this?? [Re: Ness1]
#7572826 - 10/29/07 12:28 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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hey that picture was all that only 2gs?
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today mylove



Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 2,473
Last seen: 2 months, 4 days
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Re: Why did I go on a trip like this?? [Re: milkman]
#7572866 - 10/29/07 12:44 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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i think you're right in believing that the mushrooms put you into a state in which you were able to ponder upon this experience you had in your life. but i wouldn't get so carried away with the objective meaning of it. some things are not simple, you may not know why this happened to you because you were young. and when you're young there are a lot of things you just don't acknowledge even though they are there. over time things make more and more sense and so maybe this represented you being young and the confusion of being young and in a world that seemed to make no sense.
all i'm saying is don't expect to figure everything out, just accept things as they are. thinking you must figure out everything only leads to desperation and confusion and maybe this is where those feelings came from.
for now just try to reflect on your experience, what is done is done and you must move on - don't dwell. maybe try asking your mom or something about the incident that was troubling you... perhaps she can shed some light on the things that you are unsure of?
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Land_Crab
NeuroticPsychonaut


Registered: 08/29/04
Posts: 2,194
Loc: U.S.
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Re: Why did I go on a trip like this?? [Re: c0_hush]
#7572979 - 10/29/07 01:19 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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No question that shrooms, like other psychedelic hallucinogens, can and do precipitate introspection which can lead to places you'd rather not go but sometimes can't escape. And the effects of hallucinogens are famously more diverse and unpredictable than any other class of drugs. However, there are at least a couple things you can do to minimize your chances of falling into a state of unnecessary, prolonged anxiety: First you might want to find a shroombuddy or several to trip with. Not only will this provide external distractions to help keep your mind away from the potential minefield of psychedelic self-reflection (which is not to say self-reflection cannot be revelatory as well) -- but if your buddies are cool you'll have other people you can speak with. Increasing your dosage will almost always incur greater risk of anxiety and/or anxious rumination, but you said the 2+1 grams gave you no visuals to speak of which is extremely unusual although having taken LSD a week prior and even having taken LSD at all may have had an impact that way. And of course if you're on SSRI-type antidepressants your tolerance should be increased. Benzodiazepines (e.g. Valium, Xanax, Klonopin, Ativan, Librium, etc...) are the most effective drugs for the relief of short-term anxiety. If you have access to some they can be extremely helpful in calming you down if your brain's bouncing around like a ping-pong ball inside your skull. You could consider taking a small amount with the mushrooms or just have some handy. If you can't find a shroombuddy (or even if you can), pursue an activity which requires some active engagement on your part. This will usually refocus your attention externally rather than internally. I'm prone towards pathological anxiety of the social and obsessive variety and I find if I can't get something troubling out of my mind that playing video games, or reading, or watching a movie, or taking a walk, or setting something on fire will help me to relax a bit and put things in perspective over time.
Also, as was mentioned in the previous post, do everything in your power to minimize your expectations--good, bad, or otherwise--about the trip. That's why they call it a "trip" -- you may known about the place you're going, but you just can't predict what you're going to think, how you're going to feel, or what experiences you'll have when you get there. Good luck.
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c0_hush
Stranger


Registered: 07/16/06
Posts: 417
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
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Re: Why did I go on a trip like this?? [Re: Land_Crab]
#7573790 - 10/29/07 05:45 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Thanks for the replies, I really appreciate it. As suggested, I'm not going to dwell on this experience and move on. I should also mention, I didn't have anything in my system for about 12 hours before I ate the shrooms, maybe next time I can have a bigger dose in the form of a mushroom tea with a little bit of light food? I'll try different combinations and find one that works for me, someone on another forum also suggested getting rid of this batch and wait about a month or two and try again with a completely new batch, it might make me feel more at ease? Since it was asked, I should also mention that I'm not on any medication but do have access to xanax, I might have a 0.5mg handy for next time, just incase... I doubt I'll use it but it might put me at ease, knowing I have access to something that might help if the need arise. Next time I'll also try a different setting, maybe take it at night and have a walk around my neighborhood or just go in the backyard and sit under a tree or use the swing...
Thanks again everyone, I'll post another trip report in about 2 weeks, hopefully it'll be a better one.
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c0_hush
Stranger


Registered: 07/16/06
Posts: 417
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
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Re: Why did I go on a trip like this?? [Re: milkman]
#7573804 - 10/29/07 05:49 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
milkman said: hey that picture was all that only 2gs?
No, that's how much I have left after giving away a 1/8 and eating 3g's, so there should be about a 1/4 in that pic.
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