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Slimz
.-~*´`*·~-experience-~*´`*·~-.




Registered: 10/03/07
Posts: 3,588
Loc: Maryland
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Found my ego, now what.
#7571979 - 10/29/07 06:23 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Ok.. here is the deal..
I was having a light trip and decided to take a bath. Filled the tub with very warm water, turned off all the lights in the bathroom (still had some filtered light from the window) and soaked.
As I was there i kinda drifted in to myself and at one point i actually found my ego. It was very weird. It was deep inside and it was me. Its like i stripped away everything around me and the last thing that was left was this "I".
I realized what i mean when i use the word "I". What I found Saturday is my "I".
I dont expect everyone to understand this but, im wondering whats next. I was thinking about about taking a much larger dose and letting go. Im a little apprehensive about this because i would want someone there but dont really have anyone to do that.
Im not afraid of a "bad trip", just wanna cover my bases in case i need to be talked down.
-------------------- Lazy Drywall Tek (no powdery mess) This series will blow your mind and confirm what you already know to be true. The Pharmacratic Inquisition Best Thread Ever ! ! !
me if you have questions about lasers Although i may advise others in a general way regarding all types of mushroom grows, and may even post question from other forums about growing "active" mushrooms, i only grow non-"active" mushrooms and edibles. FeelFamily resident tech guru
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stefan
work in progress


Registered: 04/11/01
Posts: 8,932
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Found my ego, now what. [Re: Slimz]
#7572005 - 10/29/07 06:34 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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what's next is figuring out what it means to you, why you just discovered it after so many years, and what has been in the way of seeing it before, or what kind of stuff (the stripped away everything you talk about) is blocking it from coming out. Self knowledge = key Enjoy discovering yourself!
good to hear you had an insightfull trip, enjoy the afterglow and gained knowledge also wait a while before tripping again, give yourself tiome to process and digest what you found out.
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Slimz
.-~*´`*·~-experience-~*´`*·~-.




Registered: 10/03/07
Posts: 3,588
Loc: Maryland
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Re: Found my ego, now what. [Re: stefan]
#7572059 - 10/29/07 06:52 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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My ego is not hidden under much. It was very easy to get to, i just never looked before.
I want to know what its like without it..
I relized that it is my ego wich keeps me from being one with anything.
-------------------- Lazy Drywall Tek (no powdery mess) This series will blow your mind and confirm what you already know to be true. The Pharmacratic Inquisition Best Thread Ever ! ! !
me if you have questions about lasers Although i may advise others in a general way regarding all types of mushroom grows, and may even post question from other forums about growing "active" mushrooms, i only grow non-"active" mushrooms and edibles. FeelFamily resident tech guru
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zoombie
strangler

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 242
Last seen: 13 years, 16 days
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Re: Found my ego, now what. [Re: Slimz]
#7572461 - 10/29/07 10:19 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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when i take larger doses i lose my "I".
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Slimz
.-~*´`*·~-experience-~*´`*·~-.




Registered: 10/03/07
Posts: 3,588
Loc: Maryland
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Re: Found my ego, now what. [Re: zoombie]
#7572515 - 10/29/07 10:40 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I think i want to loose my I.. and then rebuild it on the way back.
-------------------- Lazy Drywall Tek (no powdery mess) This series will blow your mind and confirm what you already know to be true. The Pharmacratic Inquisition Best Thread Ever ! ! !
me if you have questions about lasers Although i may advise others in a general way regarding all types of mushroom grows, and may even post question from other forums about growing "active" mushrooms, i only grow non-"active" mushrooms and edibles. FeelFamily resident tech guru
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LedHead
Stranger


Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 931
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
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Re: Found my ego, now what. [Re: Slimz]
#7572556 - 10/29/07 10:48 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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read the psychedelic experience by timothy leary slimz, when i was at where you are and started to realize these things, that was the first book i read and it really helped. =)
-------------------- I'm a traveler of both time and space...
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shadowed
Nestled in theback of yourmind



Registered: 01/27/07
Posts: 267
Loc: the SW
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Re: Found my ego, now what. [Re: LedHead]
#7573033 - 10/29/07 01:38 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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+1 on that. The Psychedelic Experience gave me a solid footing on something that would have lost me otherwise. Since I read it (skimmed every page, really... ) I haven't had any confidence issues on going into a trip. Even when things start looking grim, just a flash of memory from that book and what it taught me clears everything right up. Makes me feel invincible almost (but you won't see me dosing like 5 hits or 8 grams in the immediate future...).
I remember my first junction with my ego. I thought I had had it before, but once it really happened I was blown away. Eventually I got up once I was one again, and I saw that I had been laying in my room tripping my ass off in silence for almost two hours. It felt like five minutes!
-------------------- Life is just a flashback... I may have gone a bit too far, I fear Will I get out of it this time? What was I thinking, taking this leap I thought I knew where we would go If only I knew, I had no idea.
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