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ohmatic
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Registered: 02/28/04
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Loc: europe
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piece for creative writing class
#7571796 - 10/29/07 03:30 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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„Storm“
(this is a 1:1 copy of what i wrote in class)
Quote:
Sometimes, i feel like having to face a hurricane. A hurricane which suddenly manifested out of the brightest of skies, shadowing, darkening, consuming everything around it within mere seconds. Conversation is dropped, logic immediately overwritten by the eradicating power of ignorance. Helpless I stand, unable to shed light in the circulating cone of dark, wet winds of hatred that stretch from soil to the sky, swallowing th sun. What is it, that can turn a happy person into a brutal force of nature by an instant, what can form those walls of self-isolating clay, forging them like a medieval golem out of dark matter. I am sick of it, tired of having to be the one to enter. To enter the ever-winding eye of a storm without control – once unleashed, nearly impossible to calm. I feel drained, like if the storm would leech on the fluid of life, feeing its own ever growing energy on anything it is able to get.
(added @ home)
Time freezes, the storm stalls, a ray of light manage to break from the outlining of the storm drawn like a charcoal image upon dark grey sky canvas. A moment of though, consideration managed to enter the cloudy wet inside of the storm, shedding light, forming lines of reason upon walls of ignorance. Like the inside of an enormous tube made entirely of puzzle pieces, rays of love outline the edges of the pieces, drawing a organic pattern, a interconnecting grid of energy into the darkness of the storm. The light brings reason, understanding, rupturing on the basis of the storm, disintegrating its consuming power, giving way of emotions and reason. A quake, sudden shock, the structure collapses on the soil of relationship, exploding into infinite wet pieces being absorbed by the power of love, feeding the ground, giving back the sky to the sun, allowing once again the warming power of light to take back what seemed lost in this shock of self-greed.
What isit, that can turn us humans from a loved person into a ghastly demon, cloaking ourselfs with alien skin to distance ourself from others, and ourselves.
But there always is this one saying to remember:
“Where there’s rain, there’ll be sun again”
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MONOTUB tek HEATBOMB tek RIP #cultivation! ....can't associate? well FUCK U !
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SneezingPenis
ACHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!111!

Registered: 01/15/05
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Re: piece for creative writing class [Re: ohmatic]
#7572182 - 10/29/07 08:00 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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what is it?
I have read it twice, and I have no clue what it is that you are trying to convey.
not really trying to be a dick, because there is nice imagery in there, but that is basically all it is. imagery. It would have been better if you dropped the personification/I
IMHO.
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Hyper_Panda_GO
Team Action!


Registered: 05/28/06
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Re: piece for creative writing class [Re: SneezingPenis]
#7572650 - 10/29/07 11:16 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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That's creative writing class for you
Note: I can say this because I'm a creative writing major, it's like black people and niggers
-------------------- There is no valid reason you should be reading this
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ohmatic
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Registered: 02/28/04
Posts: 6,742
Loc: europe
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Re: piece for creative writing class [Re: Hyper_Panda_GO]
#7577400 - 10/30/07 03:54 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Hyper_Panda_GO said: That's creative writing class for you
Note: I can say this because I'm a creative writing major, it's like black people and niggers
What ? i didnt understand this posting, elaborate.
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MONOTUB tek HEATBOMB tek RIP #cultivation! ....can't associate? well FUCK U !
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Hyper_Panda_GO
Team Action!


Registered: 05/28/06
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Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: piece for creative writing class [Re: ohmatic]
#7577591 - 10/30/07 04:53 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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People starting out in creative writing class often overload imagery into their pieces
-------------------- There is no valid reason you should be reading this
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ohmatic
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Registered: 02/28/04
Posts: 6,742
Loc: europe
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Re: piece for creative writing class [Re: Hyper_Panda_GO]
#7579275 - 10/31/07 02:10 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Hyper_Panda_GO said: People starting out in creative writing class often overload imagery into their pieces
ic what you mean, however i really liked to write it and despte it not being as "informational" as it maybe should be i think the imagery is really nice, aint it ?
btw, we got our pieces in peer-review now, i am really excited to see what i get back !
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MONOTUB tek HEATBOMB tek RIP #cultivation! ....can't associate? well FUCK U !
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