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crazy__diamond
Strangest

Registered: 10/03/06
Posts: 32
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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girls, sex
#7569422 - 10/28/07 11:01 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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so, i need a diagnosis. and a game plan.
i'm a good looking guy, and fairly confident. but girls have been elusive to me! i'm not really confident with girls......they've fucked it up...
so, i don't really try much at getting them. and i know thats where it happens...but it just feels so fucking shallow and not worthwhile.
i smoke a ton of pot lately, and while that doesnt directly hurt my cause, i'm sure it doesn't help too much. i went out with this girl my freshman year and got all attached and subsequently hurt when she left me this summer.......so that makes this girl-less void even worse!
but still, there should be a market for potheads! especially funny/smart ones...
i am a sophomore in college right now. there are tons of girls around, and it kills me knowing that none of them are mine...
its more than just being horny. i want to be content. i hate that i feel the need for a female; i wish i could be happy independently of anyone else.
I know that i could compromise who i am and be some douchebag frat boy who has meaningless drunken sex every friday. but that doesnt sound too appealing or satisfying...
i dont even want to be a player-type getting lots of girls all the time. ideally, i just want a girlfriend who i can get comfortable with. problem is, i rarely get flirty/chatty with a girl i like....
what is up with me and this funk i'm in?
-------------------- well, you know, we all want to change the world... ...but there's only so much time left in this crazy world, i'm just crumblin' erb.
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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You already mentioned it. its confidence. be confident and the girls will be more interested.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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crazy__diamond
Strangest

Registered: 10/03/06
Posts: 32
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: girls, sex [Re: sui]
#7569431 - 10/28/07 11:08 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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see, i'm confident in myself. i know i'm a smart guy, fairly good looking, etc.
but it hasnt equated to find someone....
which in turn lessens my confidence...
its a nasty little cycle
-------------------- well, you know, we all want to change the world... ...but there's only so much time left in this crazy world, i'm just crumblin' erb.
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Adom
Totally Nude


Registered: 09/30/01
Posts: 10,877
Loc: Way Up North
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Perhaps you won't settle for a shallow bitch.... This makes finding a female companion next to impossible.
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sam420
CertifiedReptilianOverlord


Registered: 01/14/05
Posts: 3,144
Loc: Scotland
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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apparently you need to start treating everyone like shit and behaving like an instinctive animal that has alpha status in his imagined pack. a blank stare and holding your mouth open a bit while you're thinking might help
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i'm a spy huntin rap dinosaur from the future
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haymaker
Mr Psychonaut




Registered: 10/26/07
Posts: 1,374
Loc: United Kingdom
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: girls, sex [Re: sam420]
#7569470 - 10/28/07 11:26 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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well i think you just need to get to know some of em, i was with my last girlfriend for ages, and i was proper in love, and so its hard know, but if you are good-looking and nice, then you should have no trouble. a beer may help
-------------------- "Make hay while the sun shines" My Trade List
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bort

Registered: 09/19/07
Posts: 587
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Re: girls, sex [Re: sui]
#7569536 - 10/28/07 01:15 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
suimush said: You already mentioned it. its confidence. be confident and the girls will be more interested.
I second this. Good luck hunting.
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate



Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 16 hours
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Re: girls, sex [Re: bort]
#7569560 - 10/28/07 01:24 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
its more than just being horny. i want to be content. i hate that i feel the need for a female; i wish i could be happy independently of anyone else.
You can.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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Aninator
Flashtique


Registered: 01/03/06
Posts: 2,228
Loc: Philadlephia, PA
Last seen: 7 months, 2 days
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Re: girls, sex [Re: Lion]
#7569638 - 10/28/07 01:44 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I dunno what to tell you i am in a very similar funk. I'm a beautiful, smart, talented, creative and fun woman. or at least i and other people seem to think so. yet shit just never seems to work out. i've never been in a long term relationship at all... the longest i've dated someone was like 2 months and they could hardly even be called relationships. I feel like dudes just totally lose interest in me most of the time. I feel a complete lack of connection with most men romantically because of this. a part of me feels like i'm not what they want, some people tell me i'm intimidating and maybe that's why dudes are put off, or are more hesitant about being with me. Who knows what it is, all i know is every time i think i've found someone who i have something genuine and beautiful with, i crumbles before it ever really goes anywhere.
i dunno what it is, why interesting beautiful driven wonderful people can't seem to find other people to be with. I some how always end up seeing the stupidest most boring people in relationships, most of the time at least. I just try and think that one day all this pain and all this heart ache and loneliness is gonna pay off with the most extreme happiness and infinite love.
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate



Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 16 hours
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Re: girls, sex [Re: Aninator]
#7569700 - 10/28/07 01:58 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
I just try and think that one day all this pain and all this heart ache and loneliness is gonna pay off with the most extreme happiness and infinite love.
First let me clarify that everything below is my subjective opinion based on experience. (Obviously... but I just want to make it clear that I'm not saying any of these things as if I know them to true. I'm struggling with this shit on a daily basis.)
Unrequited love, the desire to be in a relationship, memories of past relationship experiences that were negative, etc., when dwelt upon, feed the misconception that one cannot be completely content without a partner. The lie that we tell ourselves is that, by feeling heartbroken and lonely, the universe will take pity on us and grant us that ideal partner we hope for. But these negative emotions just reinforce conditioned attachment to ideals, and this creates further suffering. In other words, most people wait around for the perfect partner, and that partner never comes; so, though they may enter into a relationship that offers some stability, they never realize that real happiness cannot come from outside themselves. What these people see in their partner is just a reflection of the self-love that they could have been cultivating instead of waiting. And when and if that partner leaves, or does something unexpected and hurtful, the cycle of suffering begins anew.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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Ego Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea



Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine
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Re: girls, sex [Re: Aninator]
#7569777 - 10/28/07 02:20 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Maybe u 2 should meet up? 
Seems, u got a fair bit in common.
Personally I just gave up trying. I don't like confidence, I'm not confident and I don't like pretending to be - so I gave up, oh well - I'm just gonna dedicate myself to things other than relationships.
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate



Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 16 hours
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Quote:
Personally I just gave up trying. I don't like confidence, I'm not confident and I don't like pretending to be - so I gave up, oh well - I'm just gonna dedicate myself to things other than relationships.
That's cool man, I respect that. I think most people's sense of confidence is based on wrong understanding anyway, it's more like a protective mask they're wearing than genuine self-knowledge.
Often times I feel very confident when the image I see in the mirror appears to be attractive by societal standards. Then later when I am disheveled and feeling tired and out of shape and worrying about my life situation, I realize that confidence wasn't real, it was illusory. Real confidence to me is the same thing as unconditional love: realizing that your natural state is compassionate and gentle, with more than enough love and acceptance for yourself and anyone you happen to cross paths with.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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WhiskeyClone
Not here


Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
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I can relate, man...
I've made leaps and bounds recently in the department of approaching and talking to women, but I never seem to like what I find. Maybe I'm a snob, but I find most women very uninteresting. They all seem to talk about TV shows more than anything else 
The more women you get to know, the better your chances of finding a good one. I guess it's like panning for gold. But there is just so much sand...
-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
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Tangerines




Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,918
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 4 years, 23 days
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I am naturally confident. Tall, deep voice usually speak slowly, cunning. I can talk to girls fine. its just I never know if they actually want me or if they are just talking to me with no sexual interest.
If I am at a party talking to a girl for a good 15 minutes 1 on 1 about various topics is that a good indication they are interested in me?
last party I was at this cute girl(who is somewhat dating a guy i know) was like "hey ____ why the hell don't you have a girl around your arm of all people?" she even offered to be my "wing woman."
I know I should be swimmin in the pussy. I just.........cannot.
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smbdy2lv
Stranger
Registered: 10/27/07
Posts: 2
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
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Go for an easy chick first. Women are a lot more attracted to man who has recently been with a women. I don't know if there is some pheromone explanation or what, but it's been my experience.
Oh - and brush your teeth, wash your clothes, etc. - just in case that's your problem. Not saying it is - but a lot of guys don't take good care of their personal hygiene and then wonder why the girls pass them by.
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Tangerines




Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,918
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 4 years, 23 days
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Re: girls, sex [Re: smbdy2lv]
#7570901 - 10/28/07 08:29 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I have never been with a woman...am I doomed?
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Re: girls, sex [Re: Adom]
#7570906 - 10/28/07 08:30 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Adom said: Perhaps you won't settle for a shallow bitch.... This makes finding a female companion next to impossible.
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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TODAY
Battletoad


Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
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--------------------
ca'rouse (k-rouz) intr.v. To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.
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geokills
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙


Registered: 05/08/01
Posts: 23,417
Loc: city of angels
Last seen: 3 hours, 20 minutes
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> I guess it's like panning for gold. But there is just so much sand...
That's a good one - and it doesn't just go for women regarding romatics.. plenty of the men -- plenty of people I meet seem to fall very well into your sand analogy!
At any rate, the best advice I can give to the original poster is simply to love yourself, find what you need for yourself to be comfortable, by yourself, and work it out from there. I'm sure most people would want a partner, it's part genetic, partly how we're brought up -- but christ, get comfortable with yourself first. Know that you're worth whatever you seek. If you can't love yourself, how do expect to be able to give that love to another?
It sounds cliche, and yes I'm tossed five sheets away in the Hawaiian breeze here, but goddamnit you just have to understand yourself before you go and try to understand another.
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-------------------- ┼ ··∙ long live the shroomery ∙·· ┼ ...╬π╥ ╥π╬...
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Colonel Kurtz Ph.D
What What?


Registered: 07/22/04
Posts: 11,113
Loc: Shadow Moses
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Re: girls, sex [Re: bort]
#7571943 - 10/29/07 06:02 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bridgelisa said:
Quote:
suimush said: You already mentioned it. its confidence. be confident and the girls will be more interested.
I second this. Good luck hunting.
 Well done I say!
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There's no better way to rock out than with your cock out!!
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