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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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I'm gay.
#7560482 - 10/25/07 07:47 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I've been struggling with understanding what's up with my sexuality for years and years, and now I know; or rather, I can find acceptance for what I know and call it something that I know people can identify with. I know the label doesn't matter, I am who I am, but it helps me come to terms with how I feel inside.
I told my partner and he said, "Oh, okay, I'm gay too" (happy). He was happy for me that I could finally admit the truth to myself. I think he's known for awhile, but he thought I might just be bisexual. No, I don't think so. For almost two years I've been reluctant with sex, despite the fact that I fucking love him and love being around him. He's great company and we do connect. He is a dear friend that I hope I'll always have in my life. He offered to get a divorce (and we would still live together and be partners, in a support-for-life sense) but I said I'm not ready for that yet because I mean, I just admitted this to myself, don't I need time to prepare for any other changes? I've been telling him for years that he is free to get a girlfriend if he likes because I know he has needs to fulfill, I don't feel jealously or any sort of possession of him. He is free to do as he likes, just as he is supportive in my own life's journey to discover who I am.
So yeah, it's just a silly tag, but the truth is that men do nothing for me sexuality and that I fantasize about women quite often, more and more as I get older. I am definitely attracted to women. If not for my fetish (which I haven't felt a connection to in months) and the fact he indulged me in that, we might never have been as sexual as we were for so long.
I'm just...well I feel good admitting it. That's what this post is about anyway. I've already admitted it to my friends and they said they knew...before I did, I guess.
Life is funny.
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peaceandlove
Iron Lung



Registered: 07/16/07
Posts: 164
Last seen: 15 years, 5 months
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7560561 - 10/25/07 08:09 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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good to hear you've found a part of yourself. From the sounds of things you seem like your in a good, comfortable place. Being honest with yourself is one of the most important things you can ever do.
-------------------- "For the Horde!"
Edited by peaceandlove (10/25/07 08:09 PM)
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vaportrail
upandaway



Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 121
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7560564 - 10/25/07 08:10 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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You are courageous, and I'm glad for you.  However, I don't understand why you need to tag yourself, if you really are attracted to women also. Why do you have to choose a side?
-------------------- and the hippos were boiled in their tanks
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Heh...it's not "also." I'm not attracted to men. Not really. The only men I am attracted to are men who are more feminine and have more feminine attributes. It must be the feminine energy I am drawn to but even feminine men have something that I do not desire. They are not women.
I KNOW the tag and label doesn't matter. I am who I am and that's that, no matter what my preferences are.
I use the tag in this sense because labels can be rungs on the ladder about understanding more about oneself. In this case, declaring that "I'm gay" has been totally freeing. I don't feel at all as constrained or burdened as I did before I acknowledged, "I'm gay."
Because I feel so free when I apply that tag to myself, I feel that it's okay that I do so.
Whatever helps me, you know.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7560602 - 10/25/07 08:20 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I do get personality crushes on men all the time. I can see myself kissing and cuddling with men that I enjoy. But when it comes to sexuality...yeah. I don't think so, not anymore. I can't pretend anymore.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7560620 - 10/25/07 08:24 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Great. I totally support self acceptance. It's all good.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
Edited by Icelander (10/25/07 08:24 PM)
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Thank you so much. I have to admit "coming out" is a bit scary, mostly liberating. But I just feel so free. That's how I know this is the truth. I feel so fucking free, more free then I have in my whole life. It's just taken me so long (24 years) to finally come to terms with this. I was raised in a pretty nasty Christian household and was conditioned since birth to "marry a good man, be a good wife." I married a wonderful man. I feel like I've been the best wife I could have been. But something was always missing. I always felt...unhappy...penned in, restrained. Like I was holding back some knowledge of myself because of other people's expectations of who I am.
But now I know. It's actually not a big deal. I'm still the same person. Only I have more freedom then ever in expressing and becoming who I am because of that face to face acceptance with an aspect of myself that has always been.
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vaportrail
upandaway



Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 121
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7560634 - 10/25/07 08:30 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Oh I see, you embraced your fear, and then realized it no longer had power over you.
-------------------- and the hippos were boiled in their tanks
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Yes, something like that! The best way out is through...
Thanks for listening.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7560659 - 10/25/07 08:38 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Awesome! I'm really happy that you came to be honest with yourself!  It feels so liberating when it happens. I wish you much happiness.
--------------------
   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Jorsher
Psychonaut



Registered: 08/28/06
Posts: 691
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
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Hehe I was confused at first because I thought you were male and you said you were gay but didn't have an interest in men.
Never knew you were female. Anyway, congrats on being honest with yourself and good luck on the future! Thanks for the advice you've given me in the past, is much appreciated.
-------------------- 5 shroom me!
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Jorsher]
#7561964 - 10/26/07 07:02 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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congrats on the newfound freedom!
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JacquesCousteau
Being.



Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,825
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7565540 - 10/27/07 01:45 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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OMG! WTF?! j/k...
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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hehe
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BrandNoob
The REALAmerican Hero!



Registered: 07/15/07
Posts: 717
Loc: Potland, OR
Last seen: 13 years, 9 months
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7565971 - 10/27/07 07:24 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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-------------------- All posts were channeled through the user by typing the thoughts of telepathic beings. All photos are of paranormal origin and do not represent the physical world, as we know it. BrandNoob shall not be held accountable for the actions of deceased or hyperdimensional individuals.
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Silversoul
Rhizome


Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Kevin sounds like a much better sport about all of this than I could ever be. Good for you for coming to terms with yourself. I wish you a bright future with your newly found identity.
--------------------
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ManianFH
living in perverty


Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,741
Last seen: 1 day, 5 hours
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oh yeh I thought you were male at first too, so your first post kept saying you werent attracted to men, confusing me. way to put two and two together heh.
Well I hope you embrace your new happiness, and live a fulfilling life. and give that guy youre with a huge friggen hug or kiss for being so understanding
GL
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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He really is amazing. I think we were drawn to one another because we are BOTH so atypical. Weirdos, all the way. Both of us feel a lot of relief now that I have come to this realization. No pressure on anyone anymore, all freedom to be who we are without regret.
Thanks guys.
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Link
Intrinsically No Good


Registered: 07/28/99
Posts: 2,314
Loc: Lost Woods, Hyrule
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7566490 - 10/27/07 11:30 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Moth that's awesome, I'm glad you've made such a big step in discovering yourself. You rule. from Ohio
-Link
-------------------- Wonder had gone away, and he had forgotten that all life is only a set of pictures in the brain, among which there is no difference betwixt those born of real things and those born of inward dreamings, and no cause to value the one above the other. -- H.P. Lovecraft "The Silver Key"
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Liz
Owl Lady




Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7566917 - 10/27/07 02:18 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I'm just happy that you're happy with this revelation about yourself I'm also happy that you and Kevin are going to remain close and have the deep love and respect for each other that you share.
-------------------- Remember, remember the fifth of November The gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot.
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haymaker
Mr Psychonaut




Registered: 10/26/07
Posts: 1,374
Loc: United Kingdom
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Liz]
#7567240 - 10/27/07 04:36 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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your a braver person than me. Loves a wierd thing, a love and hate relationship for me, but it sounds like your doing pretty well.
You sound happy
-------------------- "Make hay while the sun shines" My Trade List
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CherryBom
Yoga Gypsy


Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: haymaker]
#7567762 - 10/27/07 07:34 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Wow, good for you! I'm so glad that you and Kevin are so amazingly supportive of each other. It's incredible, really... THAT is what love is all about.
Congratulations? You are awesome.
--------------------
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Thanks Bom! I LOVE being gay. The pieces just fit...
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Mocha Bear
BHP



Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 831
Loc: Mississippi
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7568170 - 10/27/07 10:18 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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That's awesome! Congrats and enjoy your new found freedom!!!  
-------------------- The love you take is equal to the love you make....
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MK Ultra
Stranger

Registered: 09/15/07
Posts: 70
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Liz]
#7568726 - 10/28/07 03:44 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Maybe I'm a bit confused, but the thread is titled "I'm Gay." But you're attracted to women and feminine men...but mostly women? Maybe I'm missing something?
Well, whatever it is, I'm glad you felt comfortable enough on this forum to share it. Just go with what feels right, not the images we're constantly bombarded with regarding what we should be striving for as men or women. Some things are meant to be shared and some are not, and only YOU can gauge whether this is something that needs telling to family, friends, and the world. "Coming out" can be liberating, but it's not right for all people in all situations. Do whatever's gonna be less stressful in the long run and make the most of life now, cause you never know! If a man makes you happy, great! If you like a woman, that's cool too! Go with the flow and just be glad we live in a time when it's relatively less difficult to be who you are sexually. Not that it's easy, but it could be worse.
Congrats for finding yourself!
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Liz
Owl Lady




Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MK Ultra]
#7568923 - 10/28/07 06:42 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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MOTH is a girl. Maybe that was what was confusing you?
-------------------- Remember, remember the fifth of November The gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 5 days
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Liz]
#7569138 - 10/28/07 08:39 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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pfft. you should move out to cali--seriously, everybodys there is bisexual at least. makes me feel like the oddball out being straight and all >_>
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MK Ultra]
#7569270 - 10/28/07 09:45 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
MK Ultra said: Maybe I'm a bit confused, but the thread is titled "I'm Gay." But you're attracted to women and feminine men...but mostly women? Maybe I'm missing something?
Well, whatever it is, I'm glad you felt comfortable enough on this forum to share it. Just go with what feels right, not the images we're constantly bombarded with regarding what we should be striving for as men or women. Some things are meant to be shared and some are not, and only YOU can gauge whether this is something that needs telling to family, friends, and the world. "Coming out" can be liberating, but it's not right for all people in all situations. Do whatever's gonna be less stressful in the long run and make the most of life now, cause you never know! If a man makes you happy, great! If you like a woman, that's cool too! Go with the flow and just be glad we live in a time when it's relatively less difficult to be who you are sexually. Not that it's easy, but it could be worse.
Congrats for finding yourself!
Hey. Yeah, I'm biologically female and spiritually and mentally androgynous (I feel at my heart that I embody both male and female aspects), but seem naturally drawn to feminine energy. It's beautiful to me. For me, it just seems more natural. I just love everything that feminine energy has to offer. I feel uncomfortable when sex is involved with males. Don't get me wrong; I love men as people, I love to hug and kiss everyone now and feel free to do so, but I cannot be involved with them any longer in a sexual way. It's just not me.
As for coming out to my family, that's something I've thought about the past few days. My parents wouldn't be able to handle hearing that I am gay. I am their only daughter (I grew up with four younger brothers) and even though they were abusive to me, I know they tried their best as parents and have really changed. Nonetheless, they hate gay people and believe they are an abomination to GOD. They are hard enough on me despite thousands of miles seperating us because I refuse to go to church.
Once Kevin (my partner) and my father got into a discussion about gay people and gay marriage (Kevin being supportive of it), and my dad couldn't contain himself; he started shouting and yelling at Kevin and being really really angry. It was during what was supposed to be a nice dinner but he'd rather get pissed and furious about our beliefs then enjoy dinner, so I got up and left because I couldn't take the judgement. Kevin followed soon after realizing the arguement couldn't be resolved peacefully.
It's that kinda stuff that makes me very reluctant to come out to my family. I do love them and I like talking to them despite everything, especially because my mom is so lonely. But at the same time, I'm going to tell them eventually. Why not. If they can't handle their only daughter being gay, and would like to disassociate with me because of that, then I don't want associate with those types of people either. I'm not going to hide myself forever from them. Eventually the truth will come out. I will let it happen naturally though. I am just enjoying my friends knowing at the moment. They are all very supportive.
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Dreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster


Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7572333 - 10/29/07 09:22 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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would it be insensitive to say that this is probably a phase, and you will grow to love the cock again in time? You like chicks better, but i don't see you going lesbian permenently. Do you still wana cut your boobs off? You were super gung ho about that awhile back.
As i said before, your beyond straight or gay. Your too weird for all of that.
--------------------
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Quote:
Dreamer987 said: would it be insensitive to say that this is probably a phase, and you will grow to love the cock again in time? You like chicks better, but i don't see you going lesbian permenently. Do you still wana cut your boobs off? You were super gung ho about that awhile back.
As i said before, your beyond straight or gay. Your too weird for all of that.
I don't have breasts anymore. Not really. I am not even a cup size. I am a size 32 small in "bralette" size, the type that twelve year olds wear. The universe works in mysterious ways.
As for this is a "phase" or not, I don't really care. I know who I am NOW and that's what's important. Weirdo, yes. I've always known that. I'm sure that I am gay and the more that time goes on, the more settled in this new awareness I feel. I've never enjoyed having the cock inserted within me. It feels like I'm being impaled to my doom. I've just now accepted that it's okay not to like it and that I don't have to, or try and force myself to like it.
I feel like I could still probably give blow jobs without too many qualms, as favors to people who I love. It's much less invasive. It's not like I find the penis a disgusting organ, after all. It is what it is, a sensitive body part. I simply don't want it inside of me, banging me up from the inside, that's all. That does not feel right for me.
Valid questions and comments, all.
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ChiefGreenLeaf

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 1,596
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7573414 - 10/29/07 03:46 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I think you just need to get with a real man ...jk umm I have nothing intelligent to add I guess... so disapointing
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Quote:
ChiefGreenLeaf said: I think you just need to get with a real man ...jk umm I have nothing intelligent to add I guess... so disapointing
That's okay, I expected one of those comments from a man. Thanks for proving me right.
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LordSenate
One of the Lost



Registered: 09/15/02
Posts: 37,093
Loc: First Circle of Hell
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7573913 - 10/29/07 06:10 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Fortunately, not all men are like that.
There are some gems out there. I only know because im one of them ^_^.
Not because im gay.
Anyhow knowing who you are now, is whats most important.
Edited by LordSenate (10/29/07 06:11 PM)
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MK Ultra
Stranger

Registered: 09/15/07
Posts: 70
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
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When it comes to my sexuality, I feel that people know deep down what it is, but as for telling them in the traditional "coming out" way, it's just not a good idea. I don't need to do so to feel good about myself, and if I DID, it would tarnish the image they have of me and would cause me to worry about what they're thinking all the time, etc. I love my family too much to ever push something like that on them. They aren't "religious" and don't go to church but do believe in God and live in a small farming town where anyone remotely different is singled out, gossipped about, and made to feel like an alien. It just wouldn't be wise.
Everyone's situation is different, though, and it may be that announcing your sexuality to your family would be a cathartic process for you. Ideally, everyone would be 100% honest about all things at all times, but sometimes things are better left unsaid. If their reaction is going to stress you out, make you feel bad about yourself, or cause you to lose them or make them twice as hard on you, maybe it's not the greatest idea to share it with them. I know the gay community stresses the importance of "coming out", being proud of your sexuality, and all that, but again, some things really are better left to the imagination than flaunted about. While most of us are intelligent enough not to care that you might be gay and see it as only one tiny component of who you are, there are those who will take it as a wide-reaching, all-encompassing label and use it to categorize and simplify who you really are. You should weigh the pros and cons before telling the fam, most definitely. Is it more important to be 100% honest about this "secret" by letting them know you're a lesbian, or is it more important to have them in your life the way they are now, not knowing this about you? Tough call either way.
It's your choice and only you can decide what will be the smartest move, but I just wanted to share my perspective, seeing as how I'm coming from a similar place in some ways.
(Oh yeah, sorry for assuming you were a guy, lol! It happens to me all the time and I HATE IT!!!)
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Booby
Agent Mulder

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7575575 - 10/30/07 06:55 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Apart from sex the female organs are designed for child bearing. Artificial insemination is the method of choice, I think, for a woman who wants a child without having a husband. (Let's pretend it's a modern world where not having a father -or mother- isn't an issue).
So, I imagine a woman could want a child, without having sex or a partner. And I imagine that a true Gay person would choose a child of their same sex, and therefore if you would prefer a male child, then you are not gay.
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CherryBom
Yoga Gypsy


Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Booby]
#7575953 - 10/30/07 10:15 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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That's not true at all. Gay parents are no different then straight parents. They just want healthy children. What does that have to do with anything anyways...?
--------------------
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Madtowntripper
Sun-Beams out of Cucumbers



Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 21,287
Loc: The Ocean of Notions
Last seen: 5 months, 23 days
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Booby]
#7575966 - 10/30/07 10:19 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Booby said: So, I imagine a woman could want a child, without having sex or a partner. And I imagine that a true Gay person would choose a child of their same sex, and therefore if you would prefer a male child, then you are not gay.
Thats probably the dumbest thing I've heard today.
-------------------- After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action. If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it. - Ernest Hemingway If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it. In the law courts, in business, in government. There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent. -Cormac MacCarthy He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Aeschylus
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Booby
Agent Mulder

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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How so?
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Booby]
#7576421 - 10/30/07 12:08 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Because your sexual/affectional preference has nothing to do with your preference for the sex of your child. If it did, then every heterosexual man would want to have a daughter, and every heterosexual woman would want to have a son. Your premise is seriously flawed.
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Booby
Agent Mulder

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Quote:
CherryBom said:

That's not true at all. Gay parents are no different then straight parents.
In the context of 'No Discrimination' I suppose you're right.
Quote:
CherryBom said: They just want healthy children.
Unless they are the type to scam social-security?
Quote:
CherryBom said: What does that have to do with anything anyways...?
Perhaps Moth with her constant change of direction doesn't realy know her own mind. And I thought I could offer the suggestion that she is more mainstream than she realizes and is just redefining her role as a female in the company of males.
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Booby
Agent Mulder

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Veritas]
#7576455 - 10/30/07 12:16 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Veritas said: Because your sexual/affectional preference has nothing to do with your preference for the sex of your child. If it did, then every heterosexual man would want to have a daughter, and every heterosexual woman would want to have a son. Your premise is seriously flawed.
I don't think the premise is flawed. Traditionaly economics played a role in gender favoritism. If a man prefers the company of women (aside from providing an heir) then I think a hetero man would prefer to populate his world with women. A truly gay woman would also prefer women.
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Madtowntripper
Sun-Beams out of Cucumbers



Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 21,287
Loc: The Ocean of Notions
Last seen: 5 months, 23 days
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Booby]
#7576522 - 10/30/07 12:40 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Do you socialize with alot of gay people?
I do, and most gay men, in my experience, prefer the company of women, whether straight or lesbian themselves. Since a person having a child is not having it (hopefully) for sexual purposes, but instead as a companion, I think the same theory would hold up.
-------------------- After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action. If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it. - Ernest Hemingway If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it. In the law courts, in business, in government. There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent. -Cormac MacCarthy He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Aeschylus
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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I don't think that parents primary purpose for having children is to create companions. There might be some motivation for living vicariously through your children, and thus wanting a child of your own sex to "represent" you in the world.
In my experience, parents who want children want them because they love children, and want to raise a family. This is unrelated to who they are attracted to as mates AND who they would choose as friends.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Booby]
#7576919 - 10/30/07 02:15 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Booby said:
Perhaps Moth with her constant change of direction doesn't realy know her own mind. And I thought I could offer the suggestion that she is more mainstream than she realizes and is just redefining her role as a female in the company of males.
I daresay I know my own mind better then you do. As for being "mainstream," I don't concern myself with those types of thoughts. I am who I am.
And why did children enter this discussion? I don't want any. I never have.
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Booby
Agent Mulder

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Veritas]
#7576938 - 10/30/07 02:18 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Veritas said: I don't think that parents primary purpose for having children is to create companions.
I've noticed some couples entire purpose of life revolves around raising children. It's like there is no reason to life beyond raising children. I can understand that perspective; the children are not companions but merely a product of life.
Quote:
Veritas said: In my experience, parents who want children want them because they love children, and want to raise a family. This is unrelated to who they are attracted to as mates AND who they would choose as friends.
Yes they want children and gender doesn't matter to that mindset. But we're discussing a single instance, in this particular case, of a woman who decides she is tired of being bonked. Is she gay or merely redefining her relationship with members of the opposite sex.
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Booby
Agent Mulder

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7576955 - 10/30/07 02:21 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
MOTH said:
Quote:
Booby said:
Perhaps Moth with her constant change of direction doesn't realy know her own mind. And I thought I could offer the suggestion that she is more mainstream than she realizes and is just redefining her role as a female in the company of males.
I daresay I know my own mind better then you do. As for being "mainstream," I don't concern myself with those types of thoughts. I am who I am.
And why did children enter this discussion? I don't want any. I never have.
So in the truest sense of the word would you consider your self gay as in bi-sexual or definately homosexual?
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Booby
Agent Mulder

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Booby]
#7576975 - 10/30/07 02:26 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Booby said: So in the truest sense of the word would you consider your self gay as in bi-sexual or definately homosexual?
It's probably too early to tell. Perhaps you'll feel unfulfilled and get the hunger after you have experienced life with your own sex?
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Booby]
#7577027 - 10/30/07 02:36 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Booby said:
Quote:
MOTH said:
Quote:
Booby said:
Perhaps Moth with her constant change of direction doesn't realy know her own mind. And I thought I could offer the suggestion that she is more mainstream than she realizes and is just redefining her role as a female in the company of males.
I daresay I know my own mind better then you do. As for being "mainstream," I don't concern myself with those types of thoughts. I am who I am.
And why did children enter this discussion? I don't want any. I never have.
So in the truest sense of the word would you consider your self gay as in bi-sexual or definately homosexual?
I don't feel the need to splice up my sexuality any more then I already have and I don't see why it's important. I know that my sexuality cannot be defined by language, but gay is the only thing that remotely fits based on how I feel. I may not even be a practicing gay. I might just stay nonsexual for life, like a monk or a shaman. But I like women's boobies and bodies and faces and lips and their softness and sensuality and I wanna touch them and be intimate with them...so I would say I am gay.
I do not feel that way about men.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Booby]
#7577031 - 10/30/07 02:37 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Booby said:
Quote:
Booby said: So in the truest sense of the word would you consider your self gay as in bi-sexual or definately homosexual?
It's probably too early to tell. Perhaps you'll feel unfulfilled and get the hunger after you have experienced life with your own sex?
I don't plan that far ahead usually.
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Booby
Agent Mulder

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7577047 - 10/30/07 02:41 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
MOTH said: I like women's boobies and bodies and faces and lips and their softness and sensuality and I wanna touch them and be intimate with them...so I would say I am gay.
I do not feel that way about men.
Awesome.
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Booby
Agent Mulder

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7577717 - 10/30/07 05:37 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I say 'Awesome' because a woman can publicly say these things without derision yet a man cannot, let alone a pedaphile say it. So shine on, you crazy diamond.
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LordSenate
One of the Lost



Registered: 09/15/02
Posts: 37,093
Loc: First Circle of Hell
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Booby]
#7578389 - 10/30/07 08:58 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Why do you blanket all your statements?
Maybe if you were gay and you were a guy you wouldnt be able to say it, but that makes you a coward.
Personally ill say whatever the fuck i want, and im a male, just like any other man. If i was gay id say it, if anything was on my mind i would say it.
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LiquidSmoke
My title's cooler than yours DBK


Registered: 09/04/01
Posts: 25,335
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Last seen: 6 months, 26 days
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i never understood why someone would want to make love to another male.
Males are just hairy, smelly, ogerish bodies, with fecal-smeared anus.
-------------------- "Shmokin' weed, Shmokin' wizz, doin' coke, drinkin' beers. Drinkin' beers beers beers, rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts. Who smokes tha blunts? We smoke the blunts" - Jay and Silent Bob strike Back
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LordSenate
One of the Lost



Registered: 09/15/02
Posts: 37,093
Loc: First Circle of Hell
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eeeeewwwwww
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Booby
Agent Mulder

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Quote:
LordSenate said: Why do you blanket all your statements?
Maybe if you were gay and you were a guy you wouldnt be able to say it, but that makes you a coward.
Personally ill say whatever the fuck i want, and im a male, just like any other man. If i was gay id say it, if anything was on my mind i would say it.
It'll come up in the philosophy section when the women and kids get around to being grown-ups.
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LordSenate
One of the Lost



Registered: 09/15/02
Posts: 37,093
Loc: First Circle of Hell
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Booby]
#7579274 - 10/31/07 02:09 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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lol whatever.. also when i said that makes you a coward, i wasnt refering to you. i just meant that if you arent able to say whats on your mind, thats what you are.. (whoever is like that).. not you personally
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Booby
Agent Mulder

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Quote:
LordSenate said: lol whatever.. also when i said that makes you a coward, i wasnt refering to you. i just meant that if you arent able to say whats on your mind, thats what you are.. (whoever is like that).. not you personally
When society threatens you with death by a thousand cuts then only a fool would not be a coward. You're exempt of course.
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LordSenate
One of the Lost



Registered: 09/15/02
Posts: 37,093
Loc: First Circle of Hell
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Booby]
#7579301 - 10/31/07 02:39 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Well by all means if you are afraid to express how you feel.. you are a coward..
that applies even to you my friend.
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Booby
Agent Mulder

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Yeah we've already established that there are fools and there are cowards. And that the wise would adopt a handicap.
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Merkin
neep.



Registered: 07/04/03
Posts: 27,537
Loc: Ass Flavoured Pie Factory
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7579673 - 10/31/07 07:53 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I like girls who like girls
-------------------- Wheels of cheese wheeels of cheeeeese!!!
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CherryBom
Yoga Gypsy


Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Booby]
#7579994 - 10/31/07 09:57 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Booby said: When society threatens you with death by a thousand cuts then only a fool would not be a coward. You're exempt of course.
It's 2007.
--------------------
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Rekkuzo
Lord EmperorButto



Registered: 10/09/07
Posts: 246
Loc: Nor'East
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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I like dudes.
It's nothing I proclaim constantly, but it's nothing I deny when asked.
I dunno, I'm pretty "meh" about it, but I've been out since I was 16.
Anyways congrats. ;D
--------------------
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Silversoul
Rhizome


Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7580810 - 10/31/07 01:44 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I think the real test of your sexuality will be when you actually get with a woman. I thought I was bisexual for a while, but then I actually got intimate with a guy, and while the kissing was okay, I got uncomfortable as he tried to take it further, and had to stop him. Sexuality is a weird thing, and the labels we use are so inadequate at describing it.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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That's true. Fantasy and desire is one thing and then playing it out in real life is something else.
Well...I can tell you this...if I'm not gay, then I'm completely sexless.
P.S. You silly boys stop arguing in my thread. Go away if you want to play your ego games. 
(not referring to Silversoul)
Edited by MOTH (10/31/07 03:05 PM)
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Booby
Agent Mulder

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7581531 - 10/31/07 04:33 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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disturbed
Poutine andSodomy



Registered: 10/15/02
Posts: 1,877
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Booby]
#7581658 - 10/31/07 05:10 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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moth first off congrats on finding yourself. Just out of curiosity how long were you married for?
I'm with silversoul you must have a cool as fuck/understanding husband, there's no way I would be able to deal with that so easily.
--------------------
11/25/07 first time entrant ban lottery champion
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Galvie_Flu



Registered: 06/30/02
Posts: 6,632
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7582250 - 10/31/07 08:15 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
MOTH said:
Well...I can tell you this...if I'm not gay, then I'm completely sexless.
I am pretty sure I am as well.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Quote:
centrum said:
Quote:
MOTH said:
Well...I can tell you this...if I'm not gay, then I'm completely sexless.
I am pretty sure I am as well.
But...how do you deal with this? Maybe I'm not gay at all. Maybe I'm just some sexless thing that is just searching for a way to define myself with a cultural definition that people can relate to more easily.
But sexless? Full of desire for affection and love and wanting to give it but nothing to do with physical intimacy?
What the hell is this thing? It really does seem undefinible. I actually am not sure now that I am stoned as hell (halloween!) that I would be able to react physically with a female.
Who's to say? Do I dare to find out? Is it only fear holding me back? Does fear make one sexless?
I'm so high...
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7582444 - 10/31/07 09:22 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I just fly by my own intuition and ride the wave of social interaction. If it happens it does, but its only one of many experiences life has to offer. In fact I feel free'er without the desire for sex.
Edited by shaos (04/19/11 07:35 PM)
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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I don't really have the desire for sex either. I haven't for years. Perhaps I never have, it's hard to say. I envision the tactile sensations of women in my mind, but...sex? Put to the question like that, I really don't know.
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ZippoZ
Knomadic



Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7582520 - 10/31/07 09:53 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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well i would like to step in here, i have been watching the thread develop.
Congratulations on your understanding of your self. It takes a strong will to be able to come to terms with ones self on these issues, and a stronger person still to be able to voice them to the world.
Im very glad that Kevin is there for you and supportive as well
much love
-------------------- PEACE
zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: ZippoZ]
#7584590 - 11/01/07 04:08 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Thanks man. I've decided all of a sudden that I don't care whether or not I am gay or straight. All in all, it looks like I am a sexless creature that cannot be defined by man or woman. I'm such a weirdo. But do you need to have sexual relations to be human? I wonder...
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7584639 - 11/01/07 04:25 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
But do you need to have sexual relations to be human? I wonder...
Nope. You don't even have to have sexual relations to make a human.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Veritas]
#7584741 - 11/01/07 04:52 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Veritas said:
Quote:
But do you need to have sexual relations to be human? I wonder...
Nope. You don't even have to have sexual relations to make a human.
Good point. I guess by declaring myself gay I was looking for social acceptance in a way, because what I am cannot be clearly defined with a single word, but I thought I would try to use a term that most people understood. And it did fit...and maybe still does, although the jury is out on that. The truth is that I just kinda like keeping myself to myself and that if I never had sex again with anyone, I wouldn't miss it. I feel completely nonsexual.
But I don't know...I might feel differently if I ever found a girlfriend.
Oh well.
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7585063 - 11/01/07 06:09 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I think that your sexual/affectional orientation is between you and your partner(s), or just you if you choose to be celibate. It is not a defining characteristic, so why should anyone else know about it or even care? 
Why not take it on a case-by-case basis? If you meet someone & find yourself sexually attracted, then you are free to explore that attraction within whatever relationship the two of you construct. If they have a penis, fine, if they have a vagina, fine. It's not about the equipment, it's about enjoying the ride.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Veritas]
#7585229 - 11/01/07 07:07 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I know, I just over-think it.
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Krishna
कृष्ण,LOL


Registered: 05/08/03
Posts: 23,285
Loc: oakland
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7637538 - 11/14/07 09:52 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
MOTH said: I don't have breasts anymore. Not really. I am not even a cup size. I am a size 32 small in "bralette" size, the type that twelve year olds wear. The universe works in mysterious ways.
wait, so, did you end up parting with the twins? 
in all seriousness, though, much love & best of luck on the whole journey of self-discovery, and you are really lucky to have a loved one like kevin to stick by your side through the ups & downs. my 2cents on the issue would be to be wary of jumping to labels of identity, even if they seem to help clear up confusion, as you might find yourself some weeks, months, or years down the road realizing that the label doesn't really reflect who you are, but was just a name-tag that you used to help create a "stable" identity-definition. i believe that the self, like everything else in this topsy-turvy universe of ours, is in constant flux - and while there certainly are "patterns" of this dynamism, we've got to be careful not to narrow the possibilities in attempting to describe the patterns we might see
--------------------
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Krishna]
#7638271 - 11/15/07 02:47 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Krishna said: in all seriousness, though, much love & best of luck on the whole journey of self-discovery, and you are really lucky to have a loved one like kevin to stick by your side through the ups & downs. my 2cents on the issue would be to be wary of jumping to labels of identity, even if they seem to help clear up confusion, as you might find yourself some weeks, months, or years down the road realizing that the label doesn't really reflect who you are, but was just a name-tag that you used to help create a "stable" identity-definition. i believe that the self, like everything else in this topsy-turvy universe of ours, is in constant flux - and while there certainly are "patterns" of this dynamism, we've got to be careful not to narrow the possibilities in attempting to describe the patterns we might see
You're so right. Some weeks after making this post, I realized that I really CAN'T put a label on my sexuality. I exhibit gay tendencies, but can one word sum up all that I am? Nah...
It helped (and still helps, sometimes, whenever I feel a flash of female lust) but... I'm just queer.
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Newbie
User of semicolons.



Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 24,710
Loc: SoCal
Last seen: 1 day, 12 hours
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7639320 - 11/15/07 11:34 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I admire how you're dealing with this so selflessly. That's awesome that you're cool with him having a girlfriend and everything, guys DO have needs . That's probably a huge load off your back too, being able to put your sexuality into proper perspective and not living a lie. 
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Newbie]
#7641638 - 11/15/07 08:10 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
NewbieShroomie said: I admire how you're dealing with this so selflessly. That's awesome that you're cool with him having a girlfriend and everything, guys DO have needs . That's probably a huge load off your back too, being able to put your sexuality into proper perspective and not living a lie. 
TOTALLY. And it's awesome because in "coming out" I am starting to enjoy women in a sensual light A LOT MORE. One of my girlfriends just got a boyish haircut that I think is totally hot. But I also enjoy feminine men too. What it is: I like the people who blur the gender boundaries. Someone who embodies both genders and yet neither is totally hot to me. I feel like I'm beyond gay at this point.
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BrandNoob
The REALAmerican Hero!



Registered: 07/15/07
Posts: 717
Loc: Potland, OR
Last seen: 13 years, 9 months
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7641764 - 11/15/07 08:46 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I believe the term for that is "genderqueer". Check it out.
-------------------- All posts were channeled through the user by typing the thoughts of telepathic beings. All photos are of paranormal origin and do not represent the physical world, as we know it. BrandNoob shall not be held accountable for the actions of deceased or hyperdimensional individuals.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Wow...thanks for the tip. It seems to FIT. I can't believe the number of tags there are for aspects of sexuality though. I did a search on google and got a bunch of other labels that broke the personal experiences down even further into minute identification. It's interesting...I felt sometimes like the wikipedia "genderqueer" definition was describing aspects of me.
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Newbie
User of semicolons.



Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 24,710
Loc: SoCal
Last seen: 1 day, 12 hours
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: MOTH]
#7641918 - 11/15/07 09:17 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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It's just a spectrum, like everything in life. There's never just a black and white to everything.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: I'm gay. [Re: Newbie]
#7641946 - 11/15/07 09:22 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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So true.
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