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OfflineManianFHS
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Registered: 07/06/04
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Top 10 dumbasses of 06'
    #7559187 - 10/25/07 01:07 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious
winners:



1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.



And now, the honorable mentions:



2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.

The chef's claim was approved.



3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.



4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He, then, delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.



5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.



6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.

The total amount of cash he got from the drawer was $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)



7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So, he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.



8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store.

The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."



9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.



And the 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!



10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

taken from LoD website


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notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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OfflineJunkFood
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Registered: 10/02/06
Posts: 7,258
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Re: Top 10 dumbasses of 06' [Re: ManianFH]
    #7559201 - 10/25/07 01:11 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

mickdawg666 said:
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He, then, delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.




:rofl:


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OfflineBrAiN
Art Fag
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Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 6,875
Loc: Chocolate City
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
Re: Top 10 dumbasses of 06' [Re: ManianFH]
    #7559202 - 10/25/07 01:11 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

mickdawg666 said:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.

The chef's claim was approved.




Bah! This one shouldn't even be up there. Darwin Awards are supposed to go only to people who take themselves out of the gene pool (i.e. who die or end up castrating themselves somehow..

My favorire was one from the 90's where some kids in some southwest asian country would get thrills by sticking those free air pumps at gas stations up their asses. One story reported about a kid who didn't realize the air pump he was about to use was extremely high powered (not indended for regular cars). Apparently the kid shoved it up his ass and his friends watched as he blew his guts out.

Just picturing a mangled corpse with the legs, ass, and air tube still intact between the buttcheeks makes me crack up.


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InvisibleBrainiac
Rogue Scientist
Male


Registered: 04/29/06
Posts: 13,259
Loc: 與您的女朋 Flag
Re: Top 10 dumbasses of 06' [Re: BrAiN]
    #7559290 - 10/25/07 01:41 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

:shake: :rofl2:


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:Awesketch:

:cool: Fair is Fair :devil:


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Invisibletiny_rabid_birds
Nocturnal
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Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 15,653
Loc: estados unidos Flag
Re: Top 10 dumbasses of 06' [Re: BrAiN]
    #7559312 - 10/25/07 01:49 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

i much prefer the ones where people don't die. i can laugh if no one died. but as soon as i think of or picture a death, it leaves me with a very uncomfortable feeling in my gut.


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OfflineBrAiN
Art Fag
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Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 6,875
Loc: Chocolate City
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
Re: Top 10 dumbasses of 06' [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #7559326 - 10/25/07 01:53 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

I prefer the ones where people do really sick shit to their dicks and they fall off.. like the one where  a dude injected cocaine into his penis regularly and it eventually got gangrenous and had to be removed.

That's what he gets for being a moron... such is the point of the darwin awards.. if they're dump enough to do shit like that to make their dicks fall off.. we don't want them in our gene pool anyways.

And I'll laugh if ppl die in the criminal ones. Like the guy in #1 above. That's what ya get .. SUCCKAAAA ! :wink:


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OfflineStizzle
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Registered: 04/26/07
Posts: 754
Loc: Tuvalu
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
Re: Top 10 dumbasses of 06' [Re: ManianFH]
    #7559672 - 10/25/07 03:19 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Although entertaining most of these are all fabricated.


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OfflineJunkFood
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Registered: 10/02/06
Posts: 7,258
Loc: NYC
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Re: Top 10 dumbasses of 06' [Re: ManianFH]
    #7559677 - 10/25/07 03:20 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)



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InvisibleZShroom
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Registered: 07/08/07
Posts: 1,061
Re: Top 10 dumbasses of 06' [Re: JunkFood]
    #7559792 - 10/25/07 04:05 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

4 and 10 are my favs.
i mean if i dig my parking spot for an hour in the snow, and some person came and took it i would shoot them too

and 10 is just fucking great:jointsmile:


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