|
igwna
The Cap'n


Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 8,016
Loc: New England, USA
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
|
|
love is finding someone that matters.
-------------------- I don't believe in cops, bosses, or politicians. Some call that anarchism. I call it having a fucking heart that beats.
|
some1whoisntme
Stranger


Registered: 09/21/05
Posts: 882
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: igwna]
#7572888 - 10/29/07 12:51 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
-------------------- "Ignore the distortion you're forced to percieve and believe that what supercedes is love, but who agrees?"
|
fantasylndvictm
yup



Registered: 03/19/07
Posts: 2,388
Loc: usa
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: some1whoisntme]
#7573022 - 10/29/07 01:33 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
As bad as this might be I'm going to say somin from a movie, they said u know it's love when someone can know the absolute worst thing about u and it's ok....
-------------------- "How do we know whether the life of any creature has fulfilled its destiny? I have known the very old to die in bitterness and despair. I have seen young children die before their time but leave behind such a legacy of love and joy that grief for their passing was tempered by the knowledge that their brief lives had given much to others." "You have answered your own question,Tanis Half-Elven, far better than I could," the Forestmaster said gravely. "Say that that our lives are measured not by gain but by giving." -Dragonlance "Dragons of Autumn Twilight" If we lived in luxury we would grow soft. No human being truely knows their full capacity to love until they become a parent.
|
MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: some1whoisntme]
#7573365 - 10/29/07 03:30 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
So, we've come to the conclusion, correct me if I'm wrong...that the chemical reaction is lust...and the giving without looking to receive back, is love.
I'll add that it's giving over time and even when it's not convenient etc. It's giving of our time and energy and hopefully only after thought goes into it to discover what the individual needs as opposed to what we think they need.
I liked the ideas others added earlier about allowing oneself to vulnerable and putting the other person's needs before your own.
I'll add that it includes taking sometimes which isn't selfish b/c the significant other wants to give. Like eating something your spouse prepared to eat and thanking them (and clearing your place at the table!). 
Communication is a biggie around here. I was criticized for years (my fault for not insisting otherwise) and I learned to block anything that sounded like criticism. Our communication became limited to business stuff like the car needing gas or a medical appointment coming up.
We're working on the vulnerability and communication now with a facilitator.
I lust for him. That's not the problem.
Almost a separate subject was brought up since I was talking about interpersonal relationships in this thread but the other subject is facinating asd well even though it's more appropriate for P.&S.
It's beautiful to be aware of one's connection to the universe. It brings forth feelings of love but I'd conjecture to say that, according to what I've learned that if the energy the love creates isn't channeled and put into action, ie: to protect and give of oneself to others, the earth, the weak and downtrodden, then it's energy that was gleaned but allowed to dissapate. Hopefully to be picked up by another being and brought to it's fruition. I'm conjecturing here big time. I don't know the working of the universe and don't pretend I do. PM me if you want to shmooze about this more.
Thanks to you all!
--------------------
My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
Edited by MyInnerChild (10/29/07 03:32 PM)
|
MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: fantasylndvictm]
#7573384 - 10/29/07 03:36 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
fantasylndvictm said: As bad as this might be I'm going to say somin from a movie, they said u know it's love when someone can know the absolute worst thing about u and it's ok....
That sounds like vulnerability to moi. 
Some1~Thanks for the youtube piece. It's food for thought that applies here nicely. We crave to be understood. That's beyond basic survival. It's a higher level that speaks of quality of life, not only existance but the thing inside us that needs to connect to others. I'll be listening to that later with my hus.
--------------------
My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
Edited by MyInnerChild (10/29/07 03:43 PM)
|
Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate



Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 17 hours
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7573447 - 10/29/07 03:58 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
I'll add that it's giving over time and even when it's not convenient etc. It's giving of our time and energy and hopefully only after thought goes into it to discover what the individual needs as opposed to what we think they need.
I kind of agree, but in my naivety I'll add that I don't think love is actually about giving or taking.
You talk about giving time and energy... I think that in a real love relationship, giving and taking (especially the concept of giving up, as if you're making a sacrifice) are nowhere in the lovers' minds, because the relationship is based on shared being, unconditional acceptance of the other's state of being, and awe and joy to be in the presence of such being. In such a relationship every moment together is sacred. This is one of the rarest things in the world but I think it does exist, and I have experienced the power of just being in awe of being around someone and sharing the same space with her, hearing the sound of her voice, feeling her energy when she got close to me.
Real love is what happens when a relationship is not between two minds, but between two hearts sharing one frequency. Some really mushy stuff, but it's how I honestly feel so I've gotta share it. But I don't really know what I'm talking about, and I have never been in a long-term relationship.
Anyway, good thread. 
Peace and much love
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
|
MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Lion]
#7574410 - 10/29/07 08:42 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Real love is what happens when a relationship is not between two minds, but between two hearts sharing one frequency. Some really mushy stuff, but it's how I honestly feel so I've gotta share it. But I don't really know what I'm talking about, and I have never been in a long-term relationship.
Anyway, good thread. 
Peace and much love
Thanks bug...you're a sweetheart!
I hope that love encompasses joining of minds, bodies, hearts and souls. Becoming one doesn't mean two halves in my mind but rather, a partnership of two complete selves that fit like puzzle pieces.
Yes, I still say it requires sacrifice sometimes b/c the needs of the two don't always fall into place..there are conflicts to be resolved with one giving in or both making a compromise but something has to "give"...that's a flexible relationship.
Things that aren't flexible will snap under pressure instead of bending to weather the (hopefully only) regular stresses of life cus there ain't no avoiding them.
The awe is at the start and that's to be expected. It fades after waking up with morning-breath and accompanying your partner to go give birth and dealing with the tired/hormonal being the awesome one turned into...  One learns that love had better be based on a lot more than "just" that light-headed first stage. It's fun and beautiful but after time goes by one's relationship is so much more.
It's based on shared experiences and mutual appreciation of things and each other. It's based on acceptance of the other's foibles and imperfections and their attempts not to be too in-yer-face with them if they can't change 'em.
It happens with time and when I say giving I mean giving the other the support and kind words, the shoulder to cry on. Sharing too, the knowing look when the teen says something ridiculous, the joke no one else gets, up times, down times and weathering it all because you're in it together.
I was motivated to start this thread to get input from others and I've gotten some good stuff from you and others...virtual group therapy! lol
Wishing us all long-term joining with another soul...giving of one's self b/c that's why we're here imo.
for the kudos man...I'm enjoying this thread too.
--------------------
My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
Edited by MyInnerChild (10/29/07 08:54 PM)
|
igwna
The Cap'n


Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 8,016
Loc: New England, USA
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7574444 - 10/29/07 08:50 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
i was in love once. it was the best year of my life. the relationship didn't end bad and if we didn't go away to college it probably could've worked out some how. it can probably work out now. but i think right now we both need our space. and maybe some day it will work out again. 
its a longer story and a little fucked up.. but it was love. we both admit it now even. and from time to time we talk and still laugh together.. though its not love anymore. 
i am fairly certain love exists.. and i feel like i've loved a lot of people.. but some more so than others.
people say when you're young you don't really love, but thats shit. no one can tell you that. love is love and you know when you feel it. just because it might not work out perfectly when your young doesnt mean its not love, you gotta start learning somewheres.. (in my humble opinion) i'm not trying to rile anyone up here.
love is love.. and its the best thing in the world when you find it.. and i hope it can work out for all ya.
edit: correction.
-------------------- I don't believe in cops, bosses, or politicians. Some call that anarchism. I call it having a fucking heart that beats.
Edited by igwna (10/29/07 08:51 PM)
|
MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: igwna]
#7574491 - 10/29/07 09:00 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
skcorrelyt said: i was in love once. it was the best year of my life. the relationship didn't end bad and if we didn't go away to college it probably could've worked out some how. it can probably work out now. but i think right now we both need our space. and maybe some day it will work out again. 
its a longer story and a little fucked up.. but it was love. we both admit it now even. and from time to time we talk and still laugh together.. though its not love anymore. 
i am fairly certain love exists.. and i feel like i've loved a lot of people.. but some more so than others.
people say when you're young you don't really love, but thats shit. no one can tell you that. love is love and you know when you feel it. just because it might not work out perfectly when your young doesnt mean its not love, you gotta start learning somewheres.. (in my humble opinion) i'm not trying to rile anyone up here.
love is love.. and its the best thing in the world when you find it.. and i hope it can work out for all ya.
edit: correction.
This sounds very honest and from-the-heart and I appreciate that you posted it here. Young love isn't always superficial.
Good luck in college and if you're cards come up together...I wish you both beautiful accomplishments shared and as individuals.  MIC
--------------------
My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
|
igwna
The Cap'n


Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 8,016
Loc: New England, USA
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7574556 - 10/29/07 09:19 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
thank ya kindly
-------------------- I don't believe in cops, bosses, or politicians. Some call that anarchism. I call it having a fucking heart that beats.
|
MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: igwna]
#7574661 - 10/29/07 09:49 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
skcorrelyt said: thank ya kindly

And btw for y'all to see... asedatednation said the following in a current thread called "girls...sex" and I quote it here as it applies here as well and I what he said (I italicized the quote):
you have to learn to be happy alone before you can be happy with someone. I spent 2 years without a girlfriend before i met my wife, because its what i needed to do. I had to take time to learn about myself, and learn what I REALLY wanted (and become happy with living alone). If you arent happy living without someone, then you will never be happy living with them.
If what you are looking for is your soul mate, then be patient, and dont settle for just any old girl. life will bring her to you when you both are ready. when i met my wife, she was my best friend for several months. we both liked each other but wouldnt say it, but we hung out every day. so when we finally took the step from being friends to more than friends, it was easy... it just felt right. and she is still first and foremost my best friend today.
Make a list of all the characteristics you want in your ideal woman. then dont settle for anything less than that... it takes time, but trust me, if that's what you're looking for then you will find it. you just need to be patient until it happens.
Isn't he just so together? I got to rate him first too! lol
--------------------
My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
|
MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7574759 - 10/29/07 10:06 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
Love is freedom.
|
MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MOTH]
#7574884 - 10/29/07 10:45 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
MOTH said: Love is freedom.
Really? Is it now... wellll that's food for thought too...
--------------------
My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
|
MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7575381 - 10/30/07 03:49 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
As of 1:47am on Oct. 30th MIC and Fixer became one of, if not the only husband-wife pair of Shroomerites to become grandparents!
Update as of 4:00am...Baby has lots of brown hair...
Our daughter described the experience of birth saying she was "elated" the first time she saw her baby. Along with initial bonding...baby was nursing well. I got off the phone when they came to weigh her.... At 5:00 we heard the baby weighed in @: 7 1/2 lbs. Healthy baby healthy mother.
I celebrated with a bowlful and acted goofy over seeing the first pics our son-in-law brought over but, no one noticed anything. They know that's how I get whenever I get mega-enthusiastic over anything.
I'll bring some cake to school tomorrow to share with my colleagues and send some to my hus's school too. Our son-in-law is one special guy! Our daughter is a trooper big time and we're so happy for both of them and everyone from our families on all sides. Multi-faceted family...shine on...!
Will post pics to my journal within the week.
Pleased to share the news with y'all!
~MIC (I posted this as a separate thread but wanted you lot to see this especially)...
Edited by MyInnerChild (10/30/07 03:51 AM)
|
druqs
ALKALOIDOHOLIC


Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 8,862
Last seen: 4 months, 6 days
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7575404 - 10/30/07 04:26 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
love is comprised of intimacy, passion and commitment, and is always selfless
|
MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: druqs]
#7578254 - 10/30/07 08:08 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
mycelismymind said: love is comprised of intimacy, passion and commitment, and is always selfless
Well, that sums it up nicely... Now tell me how you cultivate this under pressure..when the going gets tough... Selfless comes in handy then, that's for sure. Thanx for the input!
--------------------
My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
|
MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7581496 - 10/31/07 04:24 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
I became a grandmother yesterday and I gotta say I can't explain the love i felt for that little baby less than a day old that was palpable as I held her. There's a connection I felt. There's the beauty of a new born too but it's beyond that. She happens to be a very pretty baby objectively speaking and I've seen enough to be able to say that even though you might think I can't say any diff cuz I'm the grandma.
You've all given food for thought and solid advice/perspectives and I just want to say to y'all...and...BOO! lol Life's a trip...
--------------------
My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
|
Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate



Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 17 hours
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7581536 - 10/31/07 04:34 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Selfless comes in handy then, that's for sure.
:D
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
|
MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Lion]
#7584358 - 11/01/07 02:53 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Hey BUG...Nice new avatar man . I was thinking of changing mine...and post pics of me w/my little 2 day old girlie!
--------------------
My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
|
Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate



Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 17 hours
|
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7584415 - 11/01/07 03:14 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
That would be very cool. 
Two days old??? Wha-?? I could've sworn you were posting here two days ago.
I can only think of really sappy things to say. Babies... their beauty makes the whole human adventure worthwhile. I hope you enjoy her company and that she grows up into a strong, healthy, open minded and open hearted individual.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
|
|