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SchmidtyXX
Stranger

Registered: 04/11/07
Posts: 17
Last seen: 16 years, 2 months
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I need some sort of answers
#7521727 - 10/15/07 11:49 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Alright, I am at a point where I feel like I'm going to just snap. I am so close to the edge. I've done Shrooms 4 times the third I got ego loss and I haven't been able to lose grips with it. It changed me forever it feels as a person, including major life change decisions that I wasn't even thinking about before. Changes including lack of respect/trust for western civilization, to a point where I feel it is actually working against me. I just need some answers, I can never stop thinking about these things about what people think of me and just a lot of weird stuff thats driving me insane. I need some sort of answer or something.
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DNKYD
Turtle!

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 12,326
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: SchmidtyXX]
#7521746 - 10/15/07 11:55 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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42
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SchmidtyXX
Stranger

Registered: 04/11/07
Posts: 17
Last seen: 16 years, 2 months
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: DNKYD]
#7521797 - 10/16/07 12:17 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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naw i already disproved that
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: SchmidtyXX]
#7521823 - 10/16/07 12:27 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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it sounds like you're going through a dark night of the soul (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Night_of_the_Soul)... a lot of people on this board have been through this - think of it as like an initiation. i don't know what to tell you, i promise you will find some kind of answers though. peace be with you brother, it will be hard at parts but i know you'll make it.
  
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onlynow
transformativeinformativeenergy



Registered: 02/06/07
Posts: 1,480
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: SchmidtyXX]
#7521840 - 10/16/07 12:37 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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funny, EternalCowabunga and I were just talking about the same thing.
I have had a psychotic snap, for months I thought I was losing my mind. This was due to my excessive meditation and psychedelic use. but that experience WAS an initiation, so many new things are opening up I feel like a seed becoming a flower (not to brag).
get into meditation, transcend the fear. don't let the mind take hold and control your being. tame the mind, know that this too will pass.
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Strive to be more than a codified manifestation of a generalized technological consciousness
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: DNKYD]
#7521929 - 10/16/07 01:22 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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--------------------
   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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ZShroom
Stranger


Registered: 07/08/07
Posts: 1,061
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: MushroomTrip]
#7521932 - 10/16/07 01:26 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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42-42+42=42
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SneezingPenis
ACHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!111!

Registered: 01/15/05
Posts: 15,427
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: ZShroom]
#7521980 - 10/16/07 02:07 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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take grandmaster flash's advice
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: SchmidtyXX]
#7522419 - 10/16/07 09:38 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
SchmidtyXX said: Alright, I am at a point where I feel like I'm going to just snap. I am so close to the edge. I've done Shrooms 4 times the third I got ego loss and I haven't been able to lose grips with it. It changed me forever it feels as a person, including major life change decisions that I wasn't even thinking about before. Changes including lack of respect/trust for western civilization, to a point where I feel it is actually working against me. I just need some answers, I can never stop thinking about these things about what people think of me and just a lot of weird stuff thats driving me insane. I need some sort of answer or something.
As Don Juan said,"you are starting to learn". What you learn will never be what you imagined or hoped for. Those were egoic, self-absorbed pipe dreams. Real knowledge is much more terrifying and awesome. If you choose to hang with it then get ready for the ride of your life. Your confusion should only compound for many years. So don't expect quick relief, but new patterns may slowly emerge.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Clean
the lense


Registered: 05/11/03
Posts: 2,374
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: Icelander]
#7523139 - 10/16/07 01:16 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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i agree with advicelander..
"answers" just lead to new questions. if you decide to continue you will find some answers, but will have many more questions. have fun
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: Clean]
#7523164 - 10/16/07 01:20 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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--------------------
   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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crumblebum
The Guy Who's Really Bad At Sex


Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1,459
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: MushroomTrip]
#7523313 - 10/16/07 01:55 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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But, for the time being, smoke more weed. Calm down. Getting annoyed with western culture? Find a Tai Chi class. Or a Yoga class (A good one). Read the Tao de Jing or the Bhagvad Gita. The western world is working against all of us, but that can be comforting because it means 1. it's not just working against you 2. you have a large support group of anticapitalist revolutionaries who love you and will let you sleep on their couch in their trailer in the deep woods when the men in jackboots come to take you.
I've never had a psychodelic experience that didn't leave a different person behind when it passed. If someone has, they're either lying or didn't take enough.
By taking these chemicals, you're kind of implicitly agreeing to go along for the ride. You're surrendering yourself to yourself. After all, they can't bring you anything besides you.
Some of the "damage" is already done. You've probably got a lot of new ideas that might conflict with the old ones. That's scary as fuck, and we all know it. Feels like you lack a foundation to stand on, or operate from.
Just stay calm. Contemplate. Operate like you did before, even if that dosen't make sense in the new context of the universe you've discovered.
A trip comes all at once. The changes for the better that it can bring about come for months, years, decades afterwards. Just stay calm. If meditation works for you, do that. Maybe try some free association writing and see what comes out of it.
Just stay calm, be cool. We're all in this together. People care about you. You're taking the first steps towards an amazing life.
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SchmidtyXX
Stranger

Registered: 04/11/07
Posts: 17
Last seen: 16 years, 2 months
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: crumblebum]
#7525793 - 10/16/07 10:07 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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thank you everyone especially for the very helpful answers, It sounds like some of you know exactly what your talking about. I have begun going to the Zen Buddhist temple every sunday from 5 am - 7 am. I hope it helps my mind and soul. I will deffinitely look at this as an experience of personal growth and learning. Thank you for the advice, It actually makes a lot of sense.
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searchalx
Psychonaut



Registered: 05/10/07
Posts: 210
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: SchmidtyXX]
#7525844 - 10/16/07 10:21 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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this happened to me too, again i feel like i have no stability, and not enough ways to communicate my ideas to others who have the same
-------------------- SITUATION NASTY LIKE COLLEGE CHICKS - A
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'



Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: SchmidtyXX]
#7526039 - 10/16/07 11:13 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Civilization is working against you, it works against all of us. You aren't crazy for feeling this way! I like what Derrick Jensen has to say about despair, anger and other seemingly 'negative' emotions - he says that it is normal and natural to feel this way in a world that is so horrific, that feeling this way shows that we are becoming aware of what is around us. Don't run from this, work through it. Trust yourself. Find a place of groundedness, if that is the zen thing in the mornings than great. We all have our own ways to feel grounded. For me it's often a hot bath, breathing and reminding myself that if I want to be calm I am capable of finding that place in me. Sometimes it's yoga, or a noise show, or gregorian chant. Sometimes it's snuggling or talking. Just focus inwardly, pay attention to what your body and subconscious are calling out for. Feed them.
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Nobodhi
aka.onlynow



Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 50
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7526050 - 10/16/07 11:17 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Lovely
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Militantmind
Stranger
Registered: 06/06/06
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Last seen: 14 years, 10 months
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: Nobodhi]
#7526125 - 10/16/07 11:38 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I can agree that this is a sign that you are reaching a point where you are beginning to learn beyond the "average Joe's" train of thought; the normal life path the media sends you on since you took form in 3D.
So it's related to most of us as the initiation or icebreaker of further knowledge behind the curtain of propaganda.
I had a similar reaction. I didn't want to do anything, everything seemed so insignificant, even my own existence. I even came here as you did to find answers and made this topic.
What I suggest is to keep moving forward on your own path to enlightenment.
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Nobodhi
aka.onlynow



Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 50
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: Militantmind]
#7526231 - 10/17/07 12:16 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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that is a very lucid explanation of the experience. it is an initiation, the realizations that occur during the meltdown of the ego (or silence of the ego) separates one from the image of the past(future) self and the higher self starts taking control. this higher awareness is not too compatible with those who still have not broken out of the cocoon of lower dimensional confines.
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Middleman

Registered: 07/11/99
Posts: 8,399
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: SchmidtyXX]
#7526514 - 10/17/07 02:15 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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There are no answers, only choices.
Though it helps to study...
Gurdjieff, Ouspensky, Crowley, Blavatsky, Watts, Leary, Bob Wilson, Ram Dass, McKenna, E. J. Gold, Adyashanti, Rob Brezney etc. are all excellent guides.
Read, read, read, read and read...
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fake estate
didgin it out



Registered: 10/13/07
Posts: 264
Loc: NC
Last seen: 8 months, 4 days
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Re: I need some sort of answers [Re: onlynow]
#7526845 - 10/17/07 07:44 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
onlynow said: funny, EternalCowabunga and I were just talking about the same thing.
I have had a psychotic snap, for months I thought I was losing my mind. This was due to my excessive meditation and psychedelic use. but that experience WAS an initiation, so many new things are opening up I feel like a seed becoming a flower (not to brag).
get into meditation, transcend the fear. don't let the mind take hold and control your being. tame the mind, know that this too will pass.
i have been going through this too..my pain is coming out in the form of depression as i begin to melt the social concepts around myself...
learning to understand that nothing makes sense can hurt..theyve tried hard to control and shape you since the day you were born..forcing you to shit in ceramic bowls and wear clothes..were just fucking animals that can think shit through way too much..enjoy that aspect and dont let anyone control you
ill be right with you going through the pain..but im starting to enjoy it
-------------------- eat more algae.
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