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blkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
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are you in the mothafuckin friendzone?
#7521668 - 10/15/07 11:27 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I'm just trying to gauge something here. How many of you would consider yourself "the nice guy" - you know, the shy quiet and courteous guy - the one holding the doors open and going home alone night after night. How many of you have had meaningful relationships that you didn't settle for - did you aim for the girl that reduced you to a quivering pile of awkwardness everytime she was around, or did you settle for her fat friend. See I'm a nice guy - but I still have some game. The problem is I'm never in my game because I'm head over heels for a girl in europe I met a year back. We've stayed in touch, writing emails, long instant messenger conversations - but I'm caught in the 5th dimension of hell known as the friend zone and don't know how to let her know how I feel without being all awkward through the internet. It's pretty hard to be smooth about stuff when you aren't face to face and can gauge/read reactions. Maybe I should move off of fantasy island and look for a local girl but stay in touch with my dream girl? I know people can relate - every dude has been cursed with the friend zone at some point right?
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Tangerines




Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,918
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 4 years, 23 days
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: blkjkrabbit]
#7521679 - 10/15/07 11:29 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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ehh like 1 or 2 times. I don't have many friends probably due to my quiet, mysterious nature.
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blkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: Tangerines]
#7521698 - 10/15/07 11:38 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Tangerines said: ehh like 1 or 2 times. I don't have many friends probably due to my quiet, mysterious nature.
Well I mean for a relationship though - the friendzone being that inescapable abyss where all ye who enter must abandon hope .
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meatcakeman
the search for bodhisattva



Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 8,380
Loc: el sol
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: blkjkrabbit]
#7521700 - 10/15/07 11:40 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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never been in the friend zone before all the girls i try to get with i do
-------------------- 大开眼界
 
Hasta siempre, comandante.
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Tangerines




Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,918
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 4 years, 23 days
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: meatcakeman]
#7521713 - 10/15/07 11:45 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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yea 1 or 2 times i have really liked a girl and they had no sexual interest in me. Probably 3 now that I think of it. I have no luck/hope with the ladies.
Being shy is a barrier for creating relationships.
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DNKYD
Turtle!

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 12,326
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: blkjkrabbit]
#7521725 - 10/15/07 11:48 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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You're talking to some Euro chick over the internet and you're worried about the friend zone? You're not even in her friend zone. You're in her penpal-from-another-continent zone.
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StreetFreak
smellin' like a plant


Registered: 02/10/07
Posts: 946
Loc: locked in a place where n...
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: DNKYD]
#7521750 - 10/15/07 11:56 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
DNKYD said: You're talking to some Euro chick over the internet and you're worried about the friend zone? You're not even in her friend zone. You're in her penpal-from-another-continent zone.
holy shit lol 
Dude I think you should stay in touch with that chick, but don't hesitate to get together with someone locally. The chick in europe might be the one, but chances are she's not. It's not like you have some intimate relationship, being on different continents and what not, so I don't see why you shouldn't look for someone close. And if things work out with that european chick in the future then hell yeah, but if not at least you wouldn't have wasted your time.
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meatcakeman
the search for bodhisattva



Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 8,380
Loc: el sol
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: DNKYD]
#7521759 - 10/15/07 11:59 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
DNKYD said: You're talking to some Euro chick over the internet and you're worried about the friend zone? You're not even in her friend zone. You're in her penpal-from-another-continent zone.
pwned! lolz! ytmnd
-------------------- 大开眼界
 
Hasta siempre, comandante.
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MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: meatcakeman]
#7521896 - 10/16/07 01:04 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Girls don't waste time with long irc conversation unless they're bored.
Hint this way: "I really feel strongly about you even though we haven't seen each other in so long. It must be that I feel connected to you as a person even though I can picture your sweet face vividly."
A "friend" might say something sweet like that and what quality chick wouldn't go for that?
Yes, pursue someone conveniently located but get a clear idea of what Euro check thinks of your chances with something like: "So I was thinking of a repeat visit to (fill in the blank name of her city) and would you be available as a tour guide? You won't blame me if I look at you more than the sites will you?"
Get it clear. She may be scared to say how much she likes you in case you are turned off my aggressive females. Go for it...for your own peace of mind.... imho
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My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
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Hyper_Panda_GO
Team Action!


Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 9,720
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: blkjkrabbit]
#7521904 - 10/16/07 01:06 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yes but I've stopped caring after learning some things
-------------------- There is no valid reason you should be reading this
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MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: Tangerines]
#7521924 - 10/16/07 01:20 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Tangerines said: yea 1 or 2 times i have really liked a girl and they had no sexual interest in me. Probably 3 now that I think of it. I have no luck/hope with the ladies.
Being shy is a barrier for creating relationships.
Only if it stops you from being honest. Be yourself and exude vibes that you're comfortable with who you are. Be honest but not if she asks "Do I look fat in this?". lol But seriously, quality chicks will see past the shyness if you smile through the shyness... Chicks like me MELT for a shy smile if a hug comes along with it. We all need hugs right? Tell her your mentor (moi) said hugs increase endorphins in your brain.
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My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
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mushbaby
woodswalker




Registered: 09/30/06
Posts: 2,645
Loc: in my own lil world
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7522476 - 10/16/07 10:02 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Being friends doesn't always mean it won't go anywhere.
My husband and I were friends for 6 months before we ended up drunk together and hit the sheets. Then it was like we couldn't stop ourselves. Several years later here we are.
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trendal
J♠



Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: blkjkrabbit]
#7522541 - 10/16/07 10:29 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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You won't just find a girl sitting around waiting for one to fall in your lap. No girl is going to jump on you for holding the door open, either 
Don't go looking in bars either...the kind of girl you hook up with in a bar isn't girlfriend material!
Let me say this as nicely as possible...if you are in the "friend zone" and find yourself stuck in it...it's nobody's fault but your own. You are the one that got you were you are, and you're the only one keeping you where you are.
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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phantomstranger
Stranger


Registered: 12/17/05
Posts: 285
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: trendal]
#7523543 - 10/16/07 02:43 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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dude i feel like i am and i feel like i might be too late.
see i've been talking to this girl for a few weeks now and we hang out every now and then but i always fail to find(or create) an opportunity to do something although she has held my hand on a couple of occasions.
last friday she tells me she is upset (wont tell me why, says she doesnt know). i offered to go meet her, again she says idk. so i ended up telling her, whatever its worth i like you and i hate seeing you upset. she says quote, it means alot seriously. end of conversation
wtf does that mean?!?
so i dont hear from her at all on saturday, and i feel fucking played and she was prolly fucking her ex which is why she didnt want me to go over and made up all that bullshit.
she sent me a few texts sunday with the same old shit, told me she cried herself to sleep etc. and yesterday we texted each other pretty much all day while i was at school and she was at work, and after she got off she called me and we talked for over an hour although i still havent seen her since last week.
and now her ex just got bumped back over me on her myspace top friends (now i hate myspace even more)
i just dont know what to think anymore or if i should even try.
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mushroomplume
Stranger

Registered: 10/16/06
Posts: 1,395
Last seen: 14 years, 19 days
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: phantomstranger]
#7523616 - 10/16/07 02:52 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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blk, you should be realistic with yourself.
*are you ever going to see her again? *is she did know how you felt, what would you do about it? would you move?
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Cepheus
Balance




Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 8,266
Loc: the space between reality...
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: mushroomplume]
#7523750 - 10/16/07 03:14 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Man, I've given up on all attempts of slyness and being nice. They've never gotten me anywhere.
However, not caring and telling people what I think has gotten me quite far this year. I was hanging out with a bunch of girls earlier checking out other women with them.. very flirtatious situation.. I like to think I'm quite good at reading people too 
However, I have a wonderful girlfriend who I would never cheat on.. I still like to play the game though 
Saying that though, my last relationship was with a girl whom I was like best friends with for a year or so.. I never ever thought I was gonna get with her, but it happened after some alcohol . Just persevere and be outright about your intentions, and highlight the fact its not just physical as well.
-------------------- "I only ever hope to reach equilibrium, in Nature's matrix, in line with the meridian" ~ Jehst
"...and I know that I have to keep breathing, as tomorrow the sun will rise, who knows what the tide will bring?" Free Spore Ring Europe Send any spare spore prints you might have and help the distribution
Open Source. Freedom. GNU/Linux Addicting is not a word.
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blkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: mushroomplume]
#7524517 - 10/16/07 05:49 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
oliveplume said: blk, you should be realistic with yourself.
*are you ever going to see her again? *is she did know how you felt, what would you do about it? would you move?
that's what i'm doing i'm just trying to be real about it. but i will definitely see her again at least by next summer if not sooner. yes, i would move for her 
it's an interesting spot. thanks everyone for the feedback and relatable experiences etc.
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blkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: DNKYD]
#7524534 - 10/16/07 05:53 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
DNKYD said: You're talking to some Euro chick over the internet and you're worried about the friend zone? You're not even in her friend zone. You're in her penpal-from-another-continent zone.
Maybe you didn't read but we'd been friends for a year or so before she moved away. I'm not some anonymous creeper hitting on her - I'm just keeping up talk with her through the internet because I don't have an alternative - I'm not a pussy if I could tell her face to face I would but I can't.
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Tangerines




Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,918
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 4 years, 23 days
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7524535 - 10/16/07 05:54 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
MyInnerChild said:
Quote:
Tangerines said: yea 1 or 2 times i have really liked a girl and they had no sexual interest in me. Probably 3 now that I think of it. I have no luck/hope with the ladies.
Being shy is a barrier for creating relationships.
Only if it stops you from being honest. Be yourself and exude vibes that you're comfortable with who you are. Be honest but not if she asks "Do I look fat in this?". lol But seriously, quality chicks will see past the shyness if you smile through the shyness... Chicks like me MELT for a shy smile if a hug comes along with it. We all need hugs right? Tell her your mentor (moi) said hugs increase endorphins in your brain.
That is great advice. Or should I tell her that other things "increase" with hugs.
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blkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
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Re: are you in the mothafuckin friendzone? [Re: Tangerines]
#7524537 - 10/16/07 05:55 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Tangerines said:
Quote:
MyInnerChild said:
Quote:
Tangerines said: yea 1 or 2 times i have really liked a girl and they had no sexual interest in me. Probably 3 now that I think of it. I have no luck/hope with the ladies.
Being shy is a barrier for creating relationships.
Only if it stops you from being honest. Be yourself and exude vibes that you're comfortable with who you are. Be honest but not if she asks "Do I look fat in this?". lol But seriously, quality chicks will see past the shyness if you smile through the shyness... Chicks like me MELT for a shy smile if a hug comes along with it. We all need hugs right? Tell her your mentor (moi) said hugs increase endorphins in your brain.
That is great advice. Or should I tell her that other things "increase" with hugs.
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