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fushock

Registered: 10/14/07
Posts: 428
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third trip
#7517678 - 10/14/07 10:01 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I am a computer programmer. I work in a tall grey building. I wear a suit and tie. At first glance I may be just another drone in this increasingly grey world. But something exists inside of me that seems to be totally alien from the world as I see it.
The whole mushroom thing is just another way of fighting back to retake my soul. I had never taken psychedelics, or any drug besides alcohol in my life. But after a month I had the first ten mushrooms from pretty much unlimited supply.
Though I may be new to psychedelics, I am not new to the deeper inter-workings of my own mind. I was not afraid after the first trip, no matter how small a dose it was. It was actually, kind of a disappointment. The movie I watched, however, was not! I now think Dark Crystal is one of the best fucking movies on the planet!
For my second trip, about a week later, I ramped it up to about five times what I had for my first trip. The celling moved, and my colorful apartment looked intense. I also experienced what I have heard called "Ego death". I stopped existing for an unknown amount of time. I remember looking down at the rest of my body, and it seemed cold and not of any special significance from the other objects in the room. I remember thinking to myself, "I am just an energy sensory being floating in front of a faceless ape's head."
Last night was my third trip. It was one of the most significant moments of my life. I took a slightly bigger dose than I had the week before(my second trip). Totally unafraid, I wanted to direct this one inward, which is why I began tripping in the first place. I did nothing but watch the visuals and listen to music until I felt the top of the trip come on. After several moments of ego death, I got up and went into my bedroom. When I walked into the bedroom, It felt like walking into a temple of sorts. I remember looking up and the celling fan and thinking "Every room has a god. And this celling fan is this ones." I immediately recalled this as a thought I had when I was very young, for some reason.
I put on the ear plugs, turned off the lights, closed the curtains and door, and put a pillow over my eyes.
I am not going to whore out my inner mind to you people. What happened to me was completely profound and sacred. I probably wouldn't make any sense to you if I did. All I want to tell you is to try it if you think you are in command of your own minds.
Tomorrow I am going to get up early and go back to work in my tall grey building with my suit and tie. Another victory has sustained me a little longer.
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onlynow
transformativeinformativeenergy



Registered: 02/06/07
Posts: 1,480
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
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Re: third trip [Re: fushock]
#7521728 - 10/15/07 11:49 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Though I may be new to psychedelics, I am not new to the deeper inter-workings of my own mind.
how did you go about realizing the inner-workings of your mind before psychedelics?
also, you say you experienced ego-death. did you have any memory of your past? how about your name, could you remember that?
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Strive to be more than a codified manifestation of a generalized technological consciousness
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fushock

Registered: 10/14/07
Posts: 428
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Re: third trip [Re: onlynow]
#7525924 - 10/16/07 10:41 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I have trouble sleeping at night. I sit in bed and think about everything that comes into my head. Its amazing what you can learn about yourself just laying down and thinking for a couple hours every day. Ive also played with sensory deprivation a bit.
I guess I'm prone to altered states of consciousness. Sometimes I would lay in bed and close my eyes, and I would see pictures flashing fast. It would be like someone was channel surfing in my mind.
But most of all, I try to never lie to myself. That is, I think, the only way to really learn about yourself.
The "Ego Death" thing is, well, I don't know. I could feel a slight heavy feeling in side the front of my brain. Ive felt something similar when Ive been meditating. Then it was like everything stop. I cant really describe it as I don't even think I was there. I know I was, but it was like I wasn't.
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: third trip [Re: onlynow]
#7544231 - 10/21/07 07:33 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Though I may be new to psychedelics, I am not new to the deeper inter-workings of my own mind.
This makes sense to me. Tripping usually only tells me what I already know...yet I still learn from it. If that makes any sense...
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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