A couple days ago I bought some 20x from my local head shop. I was planning on having my friend play trip sitter for me on Sat night, but I became overly-anxious on Thurs afternoon and decided to trip by myself without telling my roommate, who happens to be my brother.
I ripped down a gigantic bong hit, held it in for 30 seconds, closed my bedroom window blinds, and laid down on my bed and shut my eyes. The events that ensued are beyond my literary capacity to describe accurately, but I will do my best to relay what I saw and felt. I remember opening my eyes and feeling as if I had just been born or come into the world. I had no prior recollection of anything. I was paralyzed, lying prostrate on my bed. I couldn't move. All the while I was experiencing a very uncomfortable body high that is difficult to describe. While I was frozen on my bed I could hear strange, garbled voices emanating from the walls of my room. Within minutes I was able to stand up and slowly make my way towards the door. It felt like I was in dream. At this point in time I was EXTREMELY confused, to the point that I had forgotten I smoked salvia. I didnt know where I was, who I was, what day or year it was, ect. The door frame to my room had turned into giant human lips with teeth protruding from it. As I stood there contemplating the strange, frightening image I could hear a very warm, motherly voice coming from behind me. The voice seemed to come from some sort of all-powerful, all-loving Motherly entity. I cannot even begin to describe how loving and all-powerful this Being was. She was my true Mother, my God, the Being that birthed me into this world. I felt an overwhelming desire to run to Her, to be embraced by Her warmth and love for me. Her voice kept repeating to me, "Go on now, Ty, its okay, go on now..." I slowly stepped through the door and rapidly began to panic because I had no idea where I was. I remember being convinced that my mother and father where in the building with me, that they had come to see me for some all-important reason, even though they live 200 miles away. I stood at the top of the stairway and screamed out "Mom?! Mom?!" At this point my brother came upstairs with a wild look in his eyes. "Ty, what the FUCK is wrong man?! Ty?! Are you okay?" At this point my brother claims that I was staring off into space, speaking jibberish. He began to cry when he heard me speaking in this strange tongue. I then started SCREAMING at my brother, "Sandy, where the FUCK am I? Whose house am I in?! Where the FUCK am I?!" All the while this was happening I was experiencing a horrifying feeling that I was somehow outside my body, that I was no longer Ty, but rather a different entity alltogether. I made my way into my brother's room and I remember feeling that the entire room WAS my body, and that I had to get back into it. I was panicing and terrified that I would never get back into my body, that I would never be the same again. The images and emotions I was experiencing at this point were so strange and surreal that I cannot possible describe them with any accuracy. Suffice it to say that it was mindblowing in intensity. I then laid down on my brother's bed and felt this rushing feeling as I came back into my body. It was like I could see and feel my soul reenter my body. Instantly I felt a deep sense of relief. I stood up and my brother was still screaming at me, trying to figure out what the hell was happening to me. At this point I started to regain some understanding of who I was and where I was. I then told my brother that I had smoked a hallucinagen called salvia, and he became really angry at me and continued to tell me how stupid I was (hes a straight-edge 4.0 business major who has never even been drunk). Slowly, SLOWLY I started to come back to reality, but I was still experiencing the body high. I went downstairs into the kitchen and regained my compusure. Paranoia then set in, and I was convinced that my brother was going to phone my parents and tell them that I was flipping out. He assured me that he wouldn't, but I was convinced that he would. The whole time he was dealing with me he was calling me "a fucking dumbass" and told me to get away from him. I screamed at him, "Help me Sandy!!" He didn't know what to do other than be angry at me, which only intensified my paranoia and anger. It felt as if my own flesh-and-blood was abandoning me in my true time of need. I then put a choke hold on him and told him, "You fucking asshole, these are your true colors huh? Right when I need you you fucking leave me!" I'm a big, muscular guy (I'm a competitive bodybuilder) and it got to the point that my brother was choking. I then had enough sense to let him go. By now the high was wearing off very quickly and I regained my compusure. I walked outside and lit up a cig. My mind felt like it had been through a blender. I still felt a stange sense of being "off", like my mind was permanently fried. It felt as if my soul would, at any moment, jump from my body and that I would reenter the hellish reality I had just escaped. As the salvia wore off completely this feeling went away and I remember screaming with joy because I was so happy that I was "back", back in reality, back to my old self. The images I experienced upstairs had been so terrifying and intense that I couldn't even go back to my room for like 5 hours. I spent the next couple of hours walking around outside and smoking cigs, trying to figure out just what the fuck had happened to me.
Hopefully people will learn from my story. NEVER try salvia for your first time without a sitter. If I had had a person in my room with me who understood what I was going through, and could have spoken to me calmly and reminded me that I was tripping on salvia, and had me lay back down, I think the experience would have been much more enjoyable. BUt because I was stupid and didn't have a sitter, I paid the price by going through a literal Hell.
Its important to note that I can't really explain all the phenomenon that occured while I was on my trip. It was all so intense, so vibrant, so real and terrifying that I can't begin to explain it.
If you learn one thing from my story, it is this: salvia is NOT marijuana. It is not something you just casually decide to smoke. Salvia is powerful and is to be afforded the utmost respect. If you decide to try it, start with 5x or 10x, work your way up, and have someone with you who is committed to keeping you safe and in control. If you dont respect this powerful teacher, you will enter a sphere of reality that I swear to you will be the most terrifying and mindblowing experience you will ever have.
Thanks for reading and take care.
|