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Offlineiloveboomers
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Registered: 08/10/07
Posts: 44
Last seen: 12 years, 6 months
i'm going insane
    #7507015 - 10/10/07 08:47 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

I've been eating mushrooms and smoking weed for four years, but I decided to try acid for the first time three months ago during the summer. ever since the day i tried it, i've just felt like shit. No longer can i enjoy things that once gave me pleasure, and I feel like i've been cut off from the world. I seem to have no personality, and i can no longer have a normal conversation with anyone, i just feel awkward and like nothing really matters. At first, i thought the feelings would go away, like they did a couple weeks after i ate shrooms, but i've been getting worse, and decided to take my mom's depression pills today. It hasn't really worked. I have panic attacks, which is unsual, and even my friends say i've really changed. I am realizing things that i've never realized before, like how fucked up my family really is, and how unimportant other people and things are to me, and even little things that are irrelevant, i feel so lonely. I'm no longer an A student, i'm struggling to get c's, even though i try at school. I feel like I can't learn things anymore. No one can help me, and i feel like my life is fucked up. and, even though i'm ashamed to admitt it, i feel like i need to commit suicide one of these days.and dont get worried about me commiting suicide guys, its just a feeling, i could probably never kill myself. every day feels like a struggle, and i never used to be like this. I used to be this very bright, intelligant kid, and now i'm a screw up. and i'm trying to hide it from everyone else, which makes things even worse. the thing is, i used to be a bit depressive untill the day i smoked a bud for the first time. I was happy ever since, but i think marijuana doesn't make me as happy anymore, if anything it makes matters worse as well, so those days are over. I was reading up on my symptoms, and i suppose i could have Psychosis, or be scitzophrenic I just dont know what to do anymore i guess I'm going insane.


Edited by iloveboomers (10/10/07 08:54 PM)


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OfflineMushroomTrip
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Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: i'm going insane [Re: iloveboomers]
    #7507073 - 10/10/07 09:00 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

And what exactly do you feel sad about? I think that a part of the reason you feel so is because you feel like you have to hide your "failures" from everybody else. I see no reason in doing so. As a matter of fact, I think it' quite silly.
So what if before you were a grade A student and not you're struggling for C's? THIS is who you are NOW. This is how you currently feel and pretending that you don't is a major hold back. Denying the fact that we all have ups and downs in our lives is a major seat back. You're not going insane if you don't allow yourself to.
Right now you're in a weak moment and maybe you should ask yourself why. Maybe you could ask yourself what's wrong with your attitude and what needs to be changed. From what you described here I see one thing that needs to be changed: you becoming honest. With yourself and others. This doesn't mean that you have to scream out loud that ever since you took acid you're not the same. But it means that you have to stop pretending that you're ok when in fact you feel sad. Because this state of denial generates more problems than you could think, it is what makes you confused and alienated. Maybe there are more things that you need to change, but this is for you to decide because you know yourself and your life. Good luck.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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InvisibleBIGROM
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Registered: 01/23/07
Posts: 111
Re: I'm going insane [Re: iloveboomers]
    #7507094 - 10/10/07 09:04 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

u should probably talk to a therapist, sounds like ur problems started when u smoked weed to make u happy


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.


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Offlineiloveboomers
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Registered: 08/10/07
Posts: 44
Last seen: 12 years, 6 months
Re: I'm going insane [Re: BIGROM]
    #7507107 - 10/10/07 09:08 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

the thing is i didnt though, in fact i almost didn't want to smoke weed for the first time, i guess you could say i was peer pressured, becuase i didn't have any other friends, and my only friend smoked weed. and i lived a very normal life between then and now


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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
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Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
Re: I'm going insane [Re: iloveboomers]
    #7507991 - 10/11/07 07:47 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

It's the weed. Happened to me too. I counted on it to lift my mood too much. Take a break from cannabis. Socialize more, even if you don't feel like it. People can't live without interaction with others. Drugs can fill that void for a little while, but then they stop working.

Try life without cannabis for a while.


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:


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InvisibleZippoZM
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Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Re: I'm going insane [Re: BIGROM]
    #7508118 - 10/11/07 08:50 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

BIGROM said:
u should probably talk to a therapist, sounds like ur problems started when u smoked weed to make u happy




Truth be told, this is probably an excellent route to take if you are looking to get yourself out of this rut. Talking to anyone is a great way to do it. Some times it is easier to talk to a complete stranger than it is to talk to a friend.


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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Offlinejonathanseagull
Cool!
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Registered: 10/28/05
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Re: i'm going insane [Re: iloveboomers]
    #7508407 - 10/11/07 10:45 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

iloveboomers said:
I've been eating mushrooms and smoking weed for four years, but I decided to try acid for the first time three months ago during the summer. ever since the day i tried it, i've just felt like shit. No longer can i enjoy things that once gave me pleasure, and I feel like i've been cut off from the world. I seem to have no personality, and i can no longer have a normal conversation with anyone, i just feel awkward and like nothing really matters. At first, i thought the feelings would go away, like they did a couple weeks after i ate shrooms, but i've been getting worse, and decided to take my mom's depression pills today. It hasn't really worked. I have panic attacks, which is unsual, and even my friends say i've really changed. I am realizing things that i've never realized before, like how fucked up my family really is, and how unimportant other people and things are to me, and even little things that are irrelevant, i feel so lonely. I'm no longer an A student, i'm struggling to get c's, even though i try at school. I feel like I can't learn things anymore. No one can help me, and i feel like my life is fucked up. and, even though i'm ashamed to admitt it, i feel like i need to commit suicide one of these days.and dont get worried about me commiting suicide guys, its just a feeling, i could probably never kill myself. every day feels like a struggle, and i never used to be like this. I used to be this very bright, intelligant kid, and now i'm a screw up. and i'm trying to hide it from everyone else, which makes things even worse. the thing is, i used to be a bit depressive untill the day i smoked a bud for the first time. I was happy ever since, but i think marijuana doesn't make me as happy anymore, if anything it makes matters worse as well, so those days are over. I was reading up on my symptoms, and i suppose i could have Psychosis, or be scitzophrenic I just dont know what to do anymore i guess I'm going insane.




This sounds just like my story down to the very detail, including the mushrooms and pot use, then tried acid once, and never was the same. Everyone said I was different, I felt the way you did, realized all these crazy things about my family and life. Had a big existential crisis about reality and time and space and all that good stuff. I definitely had a psychotic break, had panic attacks, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, major depression, PTSD (ego death), and more. I "worked on myself" for the next 2 years, and that almost brings us to the present where I'm feeling better than ever, but still with anxiety.

The way I saw it was this: I had TONS of issues that were hidden in my mind that were never dealt with, from alcoholic father to interfamily issues, friend issues, and more. I think the acid kicked me into a higher state of awareness where some of this subconcious material was pushed into my consciousness, and having to face all of this sucked and made me feel like crap. As I dealt with each issue, things got a little better. As I learned more healthier ways of thinking, things got a little better. As I learned healthier coping methods, things got better. I learned to say no to others, yes to myself, stop viewing myself as inferior, and billion other things.

It may not be the case with you, but think about it. You might have a ton of unhealthy habits, thoughts, memories, and its now time to deal with them.


--------------------
Loving in truth, and fain in verse my love to show, That the dear She might take some pleasure of my pain: Pleasure might cause her read, reading might make her know, Knowledge might pity win, and pity grace obtain.


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OfflineMK Ultra
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Registered: 09/15/07
Posts: 70
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
Re: I'm going insane [Re: ZippoZ]
    #7508461 - 10/11/07 11:00 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

I don't think it's fair or accurate to blame any drug for a person's mental state after the drug has worn off. Maybe you used weed too much because you liked the lift it gave your mood and maybe acid opened your eyes to some things you'd rather not see. All drugs are not for everyone, and unfortunately, the only way to know which you like and which you don't is to become a human guinea pig and try them out.

It doesn't sound like psychosis or schizophrenia, which are marked by hallucinations (hearing voices, seeing things that aren't there, living in a fantasy world, etc.) but it's possible that a drug like acid could've negatively impacted your brain chemistry. You really didn't provide enough information to be sure.

What drugs have you done in the past? Do mood disorders run in your family? Did you have a "bad trip" on acid or did the effects just set in afterward? Did you have any insights that were difficult for you while on acid or other drugs? What else (besides trying acid) changed in your life around the time you started feeling this way? You say you started taking your mom's depression meds: did you quit them abruptly or mix them with other medications? What specific medication is it you're taking from your mom? The questions could go on and on.

The best advice I can give is to do things to naturally boost neurotransmitters like serotonin and norepinephrine: get plenty of sunlight/fresh air, do yoga, meditate, smoke cannabis every now and then, eat walnuts (serotonin-rich food source), journal and do creative writing, exercise daily, and get plenty of sleep at night. Take a break from ALL hallucinogens and hard drugs and only use cannabis moderately, like once a week or less if you still want to, as it boosts serotonin, as well. There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with going to a psychologist or counselor, but it's not wise to take another person's prescription medication, especially antidepressants, which can cause SERIOUS mental side effects if taken by the wrong person (i.e. bi-polar people should NEVER take SSRIs due to the risk of mania, etc.) Psychiatric meds, while prescribed freely, have serious effects on the mind and body and can cause everything from seizures to suicidal tendencies to weight gain and much more. Relying on Prozac or Zoloft for depression is no better than relying on cocaine to boost your energy or taking mushrooms to "cure" autism.

The bottom line: just be aware of the substances you put into your body and to things everyday that will lead to increased health and wellbeing. While you may not "enjoy" exercising, laughing with friends, or doing all the other little things that make life special right NOW, do them anyway and with all your heart and soul. Eventually, they WILL bring you joy again, provided you've dealt with the proverbial demons that are hauting you in the present.


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InvisibleNeon
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Male
Registered: 01/04/05
Posts: 497
Re: i'm going insane [Re: iloveboomers]
    #7509769 - 10/11/07 05:22 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

How long has it been since you quit smoking weed? Took me at least a couple weeks after quitting before I felt normal again.


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Offlinemushroomplume
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Registered: 10/16/06
Posts: 1,395
Last seen: 14 years, 19 days
Re: i'm going insane [Re: Neon]
    #7511306 - 10/11/07 11:37 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

iloveboomers,

not to sound callous, but I get the impression you made this story up.

if not so, feel free to pm me if you want and we can talk about it.


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InvisibleRobo
R Series 66Y
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 14,861
Re: i'm going insane [Re: iloveboomers]
    #7511361 - 10/12/07 12:01 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

iloveboomers, I've been there and done that man. Don't let it get to you, you'll pull out of it. People react different to different substances, and I'm guessing you are like me. Everytime I've done LSD I feel sort of the way you do afterwards. However, it's was easy to pull out of that state once I recognized that it was just a chemical imbalance in the brain (serotonin). Just try eating right, getting exercise, and taking B12 and folic acid supplements. This is what works for me.

If all else fails you might want to consider trying out an SSRI. You will get better though just keep positive thoughts, I know it can be tough sometimes when you feel like you can't control the way you are. Keep your head up, though. :smile:


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InvisibleRobo
R Series 66Y
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 14,861
Re: I'm going insane [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #7511369 - 10/12/07 12:05 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

WhiskeyClone said:
It's the weed. Happened to me too. I counted on it to lift my mood too much.



I highly doubt that marijuana is the main source of his problem, I'd be more willing to place my bet on the psychedelics over marijuana anyday. Marijuana doesn't play around with your brain's neurochemical functions to the extent that psychedelics like LSD do.


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OfflineMushroomTrip
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Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: i'm going insane [Re: mushroomplume]
    #7511489 - 10/12/07 01:28 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

oliveplume said:
iloveboomers,

not to sound callous, but I get the impression you made this story up.

if not so, feel free to pm me if you want and we can talk about it.




And what exactly makes you think that he made this up? :strokebeard:


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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Offlineiloveboomers
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Registered: 08/10/07
Posts: 44
Last seen: 12 years, 6 months
Re: i'm going insane [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #7519772 - 10/15/07 02:42 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

I can assure you all, i'm not making this story up. In fact, today things have gotten even worse, as almost everyone i was associated with seems to know there is somthing seriously wrong with me. i've been trying to do things to boost my seratonin like you say, sleeping more, eating right, actually talking to people, stopped smoking weed for a week, and tried to relax to the best of my ability this weekend. It seems as though i've lost my ability to think straight, when i'm around people i can't think normally, and when i try to speak, i sound retarded. This leads me to say nothing at all when i'm around people, which as you could imagine, doesn't work very well-makes things very akward, but i feel akward when i'm speaking, so there is nothing i can do at the moment. When i'm alone, i'm much more relaxed, but my thoughts aren't clear. I can recall when i took the acid, and i feel like maybe that's the root of the problem. before i took it, i was totally normal. I took two hits of what was (as i was told) really good acid. it was about 11:00 at night when i dropped them, and i was hanging out at a friends house. they fell asleep right around when i was peeking, and i can remember feeling totally fucked up, sitting on a chair doing nothing for the entire night. just sitting and looking around. I had no one to talk to. I think i experienced a bad trip, somthing i've never been able to experience before. do you think this could be what caused my state of illness? Would it solve my problems if i trip again, but this time in the best environment possible?( i.e. with my best friends, alone in a soothing place )


Edited by iloveboomers (10/15/07 03:35 PM)


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Offlineiloveboomers
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Registered: 08/10/07
Posts: 44
Last seen: 12 years, 6 months
Re: i'm going insane [Re: iloveboomers]
    #7519902 - 10/15/07 03:13 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

and things seem worse in the mornings, as i feel blank headed, and my symptoms are in greater effect such as feeling like i'm always in a panic mode no matter what i do. ocasionally, by nighttime i can feel somewhat normal, but when i wake up the next day, it starts all over again, and i feel worse than i did before. I'm not suicidal, even though to be honest, i wish i could be. I just couldn't do that to the people i love. so please dont worry about saying somthing that could make me "click" and want to kill myself. your opinions are open to me no matter what they are.


Edited by iloveboomers (10/15/07 03:25 PM)


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OfflineMushroomTrip
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Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: i'm going insane [Re: iloveboomers]
    #7520219 - 10/15/07 04:51 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Yes, tripping could help you.
And at least, it can't so any worse.
Maybe you should take mushrooms though, if your experiences with them were better.
You can get out of this if you set your mind to it and if you're really determined to do so. It will probably take time and a lot of patience and tough moments, but I think that what you will learn from it, the person you will become afterwards it fully worth the sacrifice. And it's not like you really have any other options because life is to be enjoyed and right now you can't do that anymore.
You can't have a "normal" conversation because you are in a different state than the majority of people. I wouldn't exactly call it worse because it's not, considering the potential of self improvement that it can provide you with. So let's just leave it at different. I wouldn't even advice you to push yourself into having any kind of conversation which blocks you.
Spent time with yourself and try to be as lucid as possible regarding your thoughts. Instead of identifying yourself with them, try to observe them from a detached point of view. This is not impossible to do and once you'll realize that it stays in your powers to do so, you will gain more confidence in yourself. Needless to say that this will help you a lot in eliminating in an efficient manner the causes of your stress.
Also I suggest to you to start reading some Stanislav Grof ( The Adventure of Self-Discovery and Spiritual Emergency are excellent).
Try to find things that you like... Art, lots of nature, being around animals... these things all help more than any anti depressant would do, and without the horrible side effects. :smile:
If you need more advice feel free to PM me. :smile:


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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OfflineBooby
Agent Mulder
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Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
Re: i'm going insane [Re: iloveboomers]
    #7520656 - 10/15/07 06:47 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

iloveboomers said:
I've been eating mushrooms and smoking weed for four years, but I decided to try acid for the first time three months ago during the summer. ever since the day i tried it, i've just felt like shit. No longer can i enjoy things that once gave me pleasure, and I feel like i've been cut off from the world. I seem to have no personality, and i can no longer have a normal conversation with anyone, i just feel awkward and like nothing really matters. At first, i thought the feelings would go away, like they did a couple weeks after  i ate shrooms, but i've been getting worse, and decided to take my mom's depression pills today. It hasn't really worked. I have panic attacks, which is unsual, and even my friends say i've really changed. I am realizing things that i've never realized before, like how fucked up my family really is, and how unimportant other people and things are to me, and even little things that are irrelevant, i feel so lonely. I'm no longer an A student, i'm struggling to get c's, even though i try at school. I feel like I can't learn things anymore. No one can help me, and i feel like my life is fucked up. and, even though i'm ashamed to admitt it, i feel like i need to commit suicide one of these days.and dont get worried about me commiting suicide guys, its just a feeling, i could probably never kill myself. every day feels like a struggle, and i never used to be like this. I used to be this very bright, intelligant kid, and now i'm a screw up. and i'm trying to hide it from everyone else, which makes things even worse. the thing is, i used to be a bit depressive untill the day i smoked a bud for the first time. I was happy ever since, but i think marijuana doesn't make me as happy anymore, if anything it makes matters worse as well, so those days are over. I was reading up on my symptoms, and i suppose i could have Psychosis, or be scitzophrenic I just dont know what to do anymore i guess I'm going insane.




I Think this is all a part of evolution for the soul. Hang in there and you will get thru it. Not everybody does. :thumbup:


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InvisibleRobo
R Series 66Y
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 14,861
Re: i'm going insane [Re: iloveboomers]
    #7525295 - 10/16/07 08:31 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

iluvboomers, I really think that you need to stay away from psychedelics for a good while. Maybe they're just not for you, and I'm almost certain that it's part of what messed with your head. I've known people that can't use these substances, because they get all out of whack and have to work real hard to get it together again(mentally). Then they just repeat the process and do psychedelics again for some reason once they get their head straight finally.  :shrug:


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OfflineMushroomTrip
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Re: i'm going insane [Re: Robo]
    #7525414 - 10/16/07 08:50 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

He said he's been taking mushrooms for four years and no bad experiences.
He had a tough experience with acid and now he's not fit for taking psychedelics anymore. :rolleyes:
Sounds to me more like an exclusivist snobbery that actually giving a valid advice.
I think he knows better what he has to do and the only "advice" that he needs right now because he's a little confused is that there's nothing wrong with him, is just life, and as long as he realizes that accepts it as it is, everything shall be fine.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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InvisibleRobo
R Series 66Y
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 14,861
Re: i'm going insane [Re: MushroomTrip] * 1
    #7525544 - 10/16/07 09:17 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

All I'm saying is that from the degree of concern I sense in his one-block paragraph typing, possibly the result of being lost or frantic, I see myself in him. Most of what he is describing sounds exactly like how I felt the first time I had an experience with LSD. Perhaps I was too young at the time, or perhaps my mind was not ready for such an experience. Anyways, I've been in that post-psychedelic frantic state of mind and it's not fun believe me, especially when you can't snap out of it.

I found my way around it eventually and how to prevent it in the future, but some people may not. I'm not offering snobbery but rather advice based on personal experience. Some people don't need to use psychedelics; and I was also fine with mushrooms, my problems did not begin until LSD came along. Some might say that the two are similar in many ways, but LSD tends to be a bit more heavier on the mind and impacting than psilocybin(in my personal experience, everyone is different of course). Just offering my 2 cents, please don't attempt to degrade me or accuse me of snobbery when I am sincerely trying to offer sound and reasonable advice.

-Thanks.


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OfflineMushroomTrip
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Posts: 14,794
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Re: i'm going insane [Re: Robo]
    #7525676 - 10/16/07 09:41 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Using psychedelics belong to personal option and this is the only reason why one should or should not use them.
If someone who takes a certain psychedelic, has a tough experience, it must be taken to account that it is because that certain someone needs to work something regarding themselves because that was the reason they had a bad experience, and not because the drugs did it.
The difference is enormous and it affects the way we choose to look at life: from a self-empowered perspective or from a weak one. If we blame drugs for our problems then we are in a vulnerable position because we create a habit in always looking for something/someone else responsible for our own misfortune, therefore we will never get to the roots of our problems because we look in the wrong place.
However, if we choose to acknowledge that it is us who need to grow as persons in order to rid our anxieties, then it means that we are in power and not willing to give away our inner freedom.
I was not trying to offend you, but only to set things straight, I am sorry if I sounded aggressive in any way because it was not my intention.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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InvisibleFeanor
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Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 1,546
Re: i'm going insane [Re: iloveboomers]
    #7525791 - 10/16/07 10:06 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

iloveboomers,

Hey, shoot me a pm. If you are willing to work with me, I think I can definitely help you out. I'm a Psych major and a huge psychonaut. I have experienced what you are experiencing - over and over and over again. Don't worry, it's only natural to go insane.

This is the most important thing to remember - If you were once this person, and now you are that person, then, if you want to, you CAN become this person once again. You can always revert yourself, always. If you once were an apple, and now you are a banana, then, if you want to, you can become an apple once again, for you were an apple prior to becoming a banana.


--------------------

May Terence McKenna Live Long

The DMT Chronicles


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InvisibleRobo
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Re: i'm going insane [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #7525830 - 10/16/07 10:18 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

MushroomTrip said:
I was not trying to offend you



None taken. All I'm saying is that psychedelic drugs may not be for some people. I know plenty of people that can handle them and even more that can't. Whether you want to look at it as the drugs causing the problem or the individual as the source of the problem, I don't know. :shrug:

What longbottom said makes sense somewhat about it being normal to go crazy. I was totally nuts for a while am still am pretty much, yet I shaped who I became(negative) into what I am now(mostly positive). These substances bring about a new perspective and sometimes an entirely new life depending on the individual in question. Whether you choose to make that change a positive one or a negative one is all up to you, I suppose.

Peace.


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InvisibleFeanor
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Re: i'm going insane [Re: Robo]
    #7525910 - 10/16/07 10:37 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

These substances bring about a new perspective and sometimes an entirely new life depending on the individual in question. Whether you choose to make that change a positive one or a negative one is all up to you, I suppose.




Exactly. Physiologically speaking, psychedelics are relatively safe. Psychologically speaking, psychedelics have the potential to be extremely dangerous. Psychedelics also have the potential to be tremendously beneficial in numerous aspects. The psychedelic doesn't determine the experience, but the person determines the experience. Like Adagio said, there are some people that are meant to take psychedelics, and, well, there are some people that are not meant to take psychedelics.

So, how do you know if somebody is meant to take a psychedelic, and how do you know if somebody is not meant to take a psychedelic? Contriving the answer is quite simple, for it has to do with beliefs. A belief is a restriction. A belief denies opportunistic potential and castrates an open mind. If you believe that you are going to have the best experience in the world when you take that mushroom dose, then you actually will have the best experience in the world. If you think that you are going to develope abnormally large holes in your brain from taking that mushroom dose, then you actually will develope those holes! Belief is very powerful, for it is based upon culture and ideological fanaticism. Sometimes, it is rather hard to cast away a belief because a belief possesses tremendous psycological power. When that individual who believes he has holes in his brain reverts that belief fullheartedly, the holes will dissipate.


--------------------

May Terence McKenna Live Long

The DMT Chronicles


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OfflineFraggin
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Re: i'm going insane [Re: Feanor]
    #7527104 - 10/17/07 10:15 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

When I was in college, and even years after. I smoked pretty much daily... In the evenings, and what not. And it was something that I looked forward to... That first hit, and my nerves were calmed instantly... A few more tokes and things were funny and good times were had...
Then I decided to quit for various reasons.
Fast Forward a few years, I try to pick it up again after cessation of use for about 3 years, though I was using mushrooms occasionally during this time.
I tried it on multiple occasions and it was no longer the relaxing, laid back feel good buzz I had know it to be.
It makes me feel extreme guilt, paranoia, agitation, panicky and just overall crappy. Then when the effects wear off, I feel like my life force has been drained from my body....
I just can't do the pot anymore.


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Offlinefake estate
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Re: i'm going insane [Re: Robo]
    #7527416 - 10/17/07 11:54 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

as i read thru these threads I cant help but find the parrellels between the stories of these people and that of my own personal experience of beginning my enlightenment..

as you begin to tear away the social constructs through the use of certain psychedellics you ultimately find yourself with nothing to hold you up...I am just now learning that this is a very important step in learning about yourself, life, and ultimately the universe..

hang in there man, write, draw, meditate, try anything and everything to get your emotions out there..because until then you really dont know what to think at all


--------------------
eat more algae.


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: i'm going insane [Re: iloveboomers]
    #7527450 - 10/17/07 12:03 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

No offense intended but reading that made me think you're an asshole. :tongue: LSD isn't meant to make anybody "normal", if you want to be normal and like everyone else..... don't take LSD. But also you can't pin your issues on a drug itself. There is a reason crazy people like Tim Leary and Hendrix were all about the acid, and there is also a reason the CIA made it illegal after they discovered they couldn't make super soldiers out of people they dosed to hell. Sounds to me like you need to take a break from everything and just figure yourself out first before you go dabbling with very powerful mind-altering substances and depending on them for your happiness. Happiness comes from within.


--------------------


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OfflineMushroomTrip
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Re: i'm going insane [Re: Shroomism]
    #7527562 - 10/17/07 12:32 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Wow wow wow :what:
Wait a second and don't get all too inflamed.
What does Leary and Hendrix have to do with this guy's experience? :eek:
And calling him an asshole doesn't help either.
He is in that situation and I don't think you understand it well since you concluded that he wants to be "normal" in THAT kind of way.
The gut is obviously scared about the experience he had and it's in human nature, it's instinct, that when we feel threatened we wanna go back to the "safe node". This is basic stuff and it's good to keep in mind how it happens when we deal with situations like these because this way we are more able to treat them properly and acknowledge their evolution.
Now, being all that said, I think that he is exactly in this situation where his instincts are taking over and alert him that he's out of the safe area.
And he needs to realize that this is only a limit he has to overcome because there's nothing scary if he passes beyond it, it's all about learning, assimilating and understanding. Therefore, calling him ignorant, asshole and the like not only that are not true, but it could be also what has the potential to make him even more scared. And obviously rambling about the CIA and how Leary and Hendrix were persecuted have nothing to do with his experience. :lol:


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: i'm going insane [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #7527643 - 10/17/07 12:56 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah you're probably right. I'm sorry. I'm the asshole. I didn't call him ignorant though I just said the way I read it made me think of him like an asshole.. just being honest :shrug: But maybe I'm just judgemental.  Truth be told acid is not for everyone especially since it tends to shatter heavy set belief systems.. but I have seen this exact same thing before and usually the person whose life goes on a downward spiral and tries to blame it on acid already has other internal issues they should be dealing with and drugs are not the answer. I mirror one of the other posters above in that he should probably just meditate, get plenty of fresh air and sunshine and exercise, eat healthy food and foods high in omega 3s and whatnot.
"Normal" is overrated anyway. I sure as hell don't want to be normal. But you can't just eat some drugs and think it will fix your problems, that will usually just make it worse. Sorry if I was out of line, it just sounds to me like he needs to not rely on mind altering substances to change his perspective.


--------------------


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Offlinefireworks_godS
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Re: i'm going insane [Re: iloveboomers]
    #7527827 - 10/17/07 01:36 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

MT has given you some great advice. I'm pressed for time at the moment, unfortunately, but I'd like to say that, from reading your posts, I sense that you are an intelligent individual, and that I think you are simply caught in a negative feedback loop - it is actually a great opportunity for bettering yourself, if you know how to address it. :smile:

It sounds like your bad trip on acid is certainly the root of your present life situation, but the real issue is what is compounding it. I don't know your thoughts, but I would assume that, for instance, if you feel lonely, you start to identify with that, and you feel more lonely, and more isolated.

The important, crucial thing, however, is where you go from here. I think you need to find comfortable, or at least neutral, surroundings. When you are around your friends, and they notice that is something is wrong, and you become frightened because they think that, and become more stressed and worried, thereby making them think you are getting worse... its a negative feedback loop. :wink:



Do you mind if I ask you a good question? :smile: Who do you want to be? How would you like to experience life? What kind of personality attracts you? What positive traits have you exhibited previously? What kind of goals would you like to have, what kind of experiences would you like to look forward to? You don't have to answer here if you don't want to, as long as you start thinking about them, but I would love to hear! :smile: :thumbup:

Like MT has suggested, I think it would be a good idea to take some time away from friends, from situations that are making you feel so uncomfortable. It is difficult to socialize when we do not feel comfortable with who we are, and trying to force it as though it is a problem that needs to be solved can only make it worse. You need to find yourself and your center in being. :smile: Get a big notebook and explore yourself. I think it might be more effective to unravel your situation, not by taking it on as it presently is, but by looking forward to a better life situation, and starting to work on being that. :wink:

Most importantly, the thoughts you tell yourself create you. Thought patterns that have been reinforced, with time and emotion, might carry some momentum, and make it more difficult to introduce new, positive thoughts, but that is all the more reason to build momentum underneath them. :yesnod:

There isn't anything wrong with you, dude. :smile: You've had a negative experience and it is providing you a great opportunity for growth and development. I know it will sound cheesy, but it makes me think of a line from Batman Begins - "And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up.". :hehehe:

Good luck dude, there is a great community here that will support you, so feel free to seek us out. :thumbup: :mushroom2:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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Offlinegluke bastid
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Re: i'm going insane [Re: iloveboomers] * 1
    #7527904 - 10/17/07 02:01 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

iloveboomers said:
and decided to take my mom's depression pills today. It hasn't really worked.




Anti-depressants are specifically designed to not work as a quick fix, they only start working after you take them for several weeks. Don't take them unless you are prescribed them. If you think you need to be on anti-depressants, than go see a psychiatrist and they will put you on them, nothing wrong with that I have been there. But taking a dose of someone else's medication out of the blue is not going to make things better and could easily produce a lot of unhealthy side effects. So please, leave your moms pills alone.


--------------------
:hst:
Society in every form is a blessing,
but government at its best is but a necessary evil
 
- Thomas Paine


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Invisiblechodamunky
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Re: i'm going insane [Re: gluke bastid]
    #7530344 - 10/18/07 07:44 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Just wanted to chip in that if you feel awkward talking to people, and don't feel like being around them... that's ok! Maybe you need some alone time.. just to yourself.. go hiking for a day... maybe plan a camping trip, do something away from your home and regular life so you can get that outside perspective, if just for a day.


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OfflineDimensionX
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Re: i'm going insane [Re: chodamunky]
    #7530440 - 10/18/07 08:39 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

It could be that at this stage of your life you cant handle all this information all at once, or possibly your brains chemistry has become temporarily out of whack, either way, stop taking drugs so your brain can return to a state you are more used to. From the sounds of things you are getting to a point where you are finding things very hard to cope with, close to a kind of breaking point, if you do feel like this, in my opinion you should see a doctor or a therapist. Make sure they really care about you and respect that you are going through a very hard time, they should want to see you regularly to make sure nothing goes wrong and that your ok, they shouldnt talk to you then send you out the door to deal with this on your own. If your at a crisis point its important that you reach out for professional help, they are like a safety net.


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