as i turned my head toward the window of the car i peared blissfully at the idea that i and the car were moving through time and space. the road appeared to have no end, i made everything dissapear but me and the road, this idea struck a cord in my soul. we are moving along that road, the road to infinity. the bliss of the music, the nothingness, which known to be is still somethingness. this place i call home, this bliss, i am happy, there is no one else around. no obligations, no thoughts of the past, only the ever changing me.
every blink of infinity my face is changing, the music is changing, the colors and shapes of the scenery changing, the inner ecstasy cycling. where am i going when i am going here?
anyways its chemblue, been fuckin around for awhile, my life has kinda gone weird lately. i had a very disturbing 7 gram trap the other weekend, here it goes. Got to buddies house at about 10 after work. i ate 7, buddiies ate 3, 2, and 2. smoked 4 blunts about 10 to 15 after. i knew i ate too much about 35 minutes afterward. the visuals hit strong at this point and i kinda felt sick. everything was cool until i started to lose my ego. i totally forgot who i was, i thought i was god and it6 pissed me off i couldntthink straight. when we went out to the front room i started to get really fucked. i didnt get why no body was as highs as me, then i started hitting the moments of eternity,it seemed like everything was a tape playing over and over agai( a cycle), i would watch every situation before it happened, strongest deja vu ever. time was just standing still. we decided to go for a walk by the river to mybe get away from the time distortions i was having.
what happens next nearly drove me to suicide. as we were walking through the woods i started to notice a light feeling which persisted until i was moving i and out of my body watching myself walk from behind. i had almost lost my speech and i kept hearing the guys say weird things, i told them to shut up but they said they werent saying anything. within seconds i realized that i was reading there thoughts and that i was able to communicate in a way that they could here mine even though they werent really high. as the colors shooting out of there eyelids became more vivid it seemed that we were all marching in some nsynch motion like soldiers. as my telepathy became stronger it really started to get wacked, they kept saying what i was thinking until i realzed that i was the only one there. at this sudden realizarion i looked over at my buddies and they all had the same face as me. i mean they were actually there but i was hallucinating them waving there arms and saying hi its you, remember why you are here, its a hologram, its the cosmic cycle, your the little soul and the sun from conversations with god, its really true. none of it is real. i saw all the roles everyone was playing for me to realize this and i saw that my purpose in life was to see this or to wake up. this was too much and i realized instantly which ones of you on this site are from my souls disk as well i knew that one of my buddies i was with was from my disk and realized at that second to and we were rewady to jump off the bridge. we suddenly looked across the river and entered a moment of eternity, i watched the cycle of life or eternity play out over and over again on every level and in every word spoken. if anyone has ever experienced this please pm me, you will know what i mean. i knew right away what i was seeing and at that moment i reached full enlightenment or oneness. my face was still on everyone when i realized even stronger we were all the same peson in ultimate reality. that tape playing over again and the cycle of life repreating was unbearable at times during the trip. im telling you it was real but i cant remember the most important moments cause they arent describable anyways. it was like voice telling me everything and sometimes i still get that voice, and it freaks me the fuck out cause i know i am hearing the oversoul and on that night i saw the oversoul. havnt been the same since just wanna sit and stare cause thats all there is to be. the scariest part of the trip waas when I realized cwg was talking to me and i had sent myself this message cause thats what i came to earth to realize through the mushroom. i think we all have different trips cause we are all trying to realize this intuitively but only some are meant to ultimately realize this in this lifetime, i dont know, but yet i do.
man you should listen, think about your death before you die, your supposed to or you will end up somewhere that you hold the greatest reality of and think its real when nothing is. when you die you create everything from where you live to your appearnace and the music you listen to just like here except everything is instant creation.
on this highway of infinity its supposed to be you changing the scenery, not the scenery changing you.
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Your experience is scarily like the one I had at the weekend. Although yours sounds a lot more intense (I had only smoked copious amounts of hashish), I think they are the same. I was camping out at a weekend music festival, me and a group of about 10 other people were sitting around drinking and smoking. A couple of people were at the tail end of an Extacy roll. I only really knew one other person there. Anyway one of the people on E passed a joint to me....and I began to lift. It actually felt like I was a balloon tied to a string. I've never felt it like that before.
I began to realize that each relationship I have with each person was totally down to me...as if other people were just mirroring who I was. It was a profound realization. At that point I remembered the part in CWG where it talked about the love/fear sponsored actions - you know what i'm talking about. Anyway it just hit me how true this was, and for the first time I started to talk to these strangers with absolute trust. For the first time it was really me speaking...i had never connected to anyone so quickly before. I also had the deepest sense of deja vu that lasted for at least half an hour. I distinctly remembered experiencing all this before. I realized that I was responsible for how these people felt about me. I could hear what people said before they said it. I realised that everything had already happened and that up to this point I was just choosing the path of least resistance. Now I knew that I was creating my life experience...I was getting crazy synchronicities.. At times I felt like I was on the edge of a far deeper realization...but I couldn't quite hold it in my reality...I was getting flashes of it...but not the whole thing. I looked around and saw myself in everyone there. It wasn't that everyone had my face, but I could see my face in theirs...quite similar to your experience..
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in those moments of eternity i blessed being sober. i'm not knocking the trip but at times i was thinking of how beautiful indiviuality was and how powerful we are if we work together. other times i just wanted to be alone and since the trip i dont connect with anybody cause nobody can hold my understandings. the idea od the mushroom as simply a drug is simply non exsistant to me now, i mean fuck we were communicating telepathically for fuck sakes. the funny part was when i learned that i was controlling the trip, i made the visuals dissapear with my mind at about the three hour point, as i came down it literally felt like touchdown, you are out of your body subtely on mushrooms but you do not percieve that, but i saw it, i was literally touching down from the air, i went 1 2 3 and then landed, it was weird. within seconds i was back with those crazy crawling visuals. it felt so weird to control thoughts cause i would think about something stupid and direct it to someones mind and they would bring up the subject mostly, it got annoying cause i realized noone was thinking for themselves anymore. i realized that the higher evolved beings had perfected this communication and thats why there socities work, cause of the abundance of openness. if you cant hide things from anyone then your true feelings are always being shared, it would be kina the same if everyone went naked for a day, eventually the barriers wear down and you become as one. cwg is true but it will not happen here, try bringing up these things to the genera population as i and watch them listen but not hear. noone is concerned with the other, for fuck sakes you can be arrested in this society for wearing your natural body, think about it. they say oh interesting take on life and discard it. i see so much opertunity but noone that bekieves in it, opertunity is like a goldmine ready to be discovered. i realize that i have been sent hear to carry the message and i have experienced oneness full out now. cwg is right, there is nothing else to do, the doing comes out of being. i just feel such intense emotion after that trip and thats all i care about now is sitting in bliss.
download this song
aphex twin - on the romance tip- its one of his best
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