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OfflineJeroen198
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Registered: 08/16/01
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Loc: Maastricht, The Netherlan...
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the end of what you thought was everything
    #749741 - 07/16/02 03:28 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

yesterday i had one of the most amazing shroom experiences ever. I never fell so deep into that world where you feel you connect with everything around you and everything your friends tell you.

I ate about 5 grams dried cubensis and my friends about 3 to 4..
I puked my guts out, even a bit over my shoe. It was hell but after that i tripped harder than ever before. We were in a forrest with a deep crater like environment with grass and some benches and we were surrounded by a wall of trees in the distance. For a few hours (which seemed infinite because i did not feel like time mattered anymore) i felt great. We just sat there underneath the stars, we had music, candles, food, and laughed about everything. One friend of mine lost his keys and i could do nothing but laugh about it because i could only think that keys are materialistic things you need outside the shroom world and so it didnt matter because we weren't in that world and i didn't think we'd ever go back..

But we did.. when the shrooms wore off, i felt everything becoming unreal, everything i said to my friends and everything they told me felt cold, meaningless and superficial. I then realized i sat there in a pitch black field where i probably lost half the stuff i brought there and that was all i could think of when i packed my bags in the cold darkness. When we could finally leave, we couldn't find the way back, even though i know this would not be a problem sober. I couldnt see anything with the flashlight and without it i saw nothing but darkness and leftovers from the shroom trip in the form of fractal like patterns. As we walked there and finally found the way i couldnt think about anything else but having left behind everything that was important that night. The way home was a nightmare, i felt alienated from the world and my friends and felt like nothing mattered anymore. I wanted to be home and close my eyes and not wake up anymore because i was afraid i would be depressed for the rest of my life.

After i slept for about 12 hours i woke up feeling tired, but not depressed, even though i remember everything i thought about before i fell asleep.

I am afraid to experience that state of mind after tripping. I think a bad trip cannot even be as terrible as feeling so depressed and being aware of everything being so unreal, and unimportant after you have been in a world of pure happiness. I have experiened this kind of sadness after a trip before, but not this bad. And i got over it. How long it will take me to get over this, i don't know.. i still feel tired in my head and wonder how the rest of this week will be.

My question is if anybody else has experienced this kind of temporary depression, and did you get over it, or did it come back after a while, or did you quit shrooms etc.. ?

i'm living a normal happy life and i'm never depressed, nor do i use shrooms to escape reality or anything so this was a big shock to me and i had to get it off my chest to feel better and i know this is the place where people listen to eachother.

I want to thank everybody here, for understanding that shrooms aren't just drugs, but something much more complicated and should therefore be treated with respect.


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InvisibleRebelSteve33
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Registered: 05/28/02
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Loc: Arizona
Re: the end of what you thought was everything [Re: Jeroen198]
    #749771 - 07/16/02 03:54 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

I have felt this after-trip depression each time that I've had a powerful and emotional trip. I've had it to the point where, when I woke up the next day, I did not even feel like getting out of bed b/c of the things I had experienced during my trip the night before.

All I can say is, you will get over it. I think it is a fairly normal thing. You may have just a little residual depression for maybe up to a week, but after that it will pretty much be forgotten. I think this is actually an important aspect of doing shrooms. It makes you realize that they DO deserve respect and they are not something to be abused.



--------------------
Namaste.


Edited by RebelSteve33 (07/16/02 03:55 AM)


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OfflineJeroen198
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Registered: 08/16/01
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Re: the end of what you thought was everything [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #753248 - 07/17/02 11:58 AM (14 years, 4 months ago)

Thanks man.. i was in a pretty shitty mood yesterday but i felt better after i went to watch the fireworks in my city, with some friends. Today i felt pretty good and i think you are definitely right about this kind of depression being part of the trip and the process of learning from what you've experienced.

I think i will take a long break before i shroom again because it had been 2 months before this trip and that's probably why it was so amazing.

Also i'll probably have 6 pinning cakes at my other place.. i'll post pics of my first grow attempt soon.

Thanks again..


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OfflineDANCESinJELLO
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Registered: 04/26/02
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Re: the end of what you thought was everything [Re: Jeroen198]
    #753807 - 07/17/02 04:02 PM (14 years, 4 months ago)

It happens to me too, but it only lasts about a day, although i don't really consider it a depression, more like a contemplative, regenerative mood, where i don't want to do anything. I usually spend the whole day laying around thinking, it is kind of a bum, but not really.
i agree it makes you respect the mushroom.


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OfflineShroomNewb
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Registered: 11/09/01
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Re: the end of what you thought was everything [Re: Jeroen198]
    #754451 - 07/17/02 08:45 PM (14 years, 4 months ago)

I can see how you felt that.. although I often just turn that into dreaming about how I am going to get more shrooms.. and how I will have another equally satisfying experience with shrooms down the line..

It is sad coming down.. but it makes me happy and gives me a drive to think about how they can be a life long partner..

Don't take that as a key to doing shrooms in excess or anything though. ^^


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OfflineHBS
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Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 42,528
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Re: the end of what you thought was everything [Re: Jeroen198]
    #756311 - 07/18/02 01:58 PM (14 years, 4 months ago)

That is a bummer man, I'm sorry. For me tripping does the exact opposite ... but after much experimentation and ventures into the high-dose realm (with very frightening results) I have come to the point where I now ONLY dose roughly 1.5 - 2.5 g ... I am usually happiest on the comedown, having made a million revelations, and knowing I can now improve my life more.

It is almost like defragmenting my computer


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