Home | Community | Message Board

World Seed Supply
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
OfflineAlCapwn
ID Reset, take that subpoena


Registered: 02/03/07
Posts: 2,957
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Some lyrics I wrote.
    #7491465 - 10/06/07 01:40 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

And, the first lyrics I ever wrote. Opinions appreciated, and feel free to point out anything really cheesy.

We will never see our
Ritual reflection
Or our true selves,
true world, or direction

We are not supreme beings
Unevolved and primitive
Inadvertently bound by
Limited perception


Can't see this
Invisible
World around us
Always-a
Interwoven,
Rearranging,
Reconstructing
Reality

Can't see this
Web of in-
-terconnective
Thoughts and ideas
Split, dividing
Spinning, riding
Flying through the
Infinite sea


The ability
to experience subtley
Or even to breathe
Does not claim deity

Step one, accept
That we are nothing
But carbon life with
Limited perception


Can't see this
Invisible
World around us
Always-a
Interwoven,
Rearranging,
Reconstructing
Reality

Can't see this
Web of in-
-terconnective
Thoughts and ideas
Split, dividing
Spinning, riding
Flying through the
Infinite sea


Ignorant is man
Who assumes he can see
Infinity


--------------------
Huuuuurrrrrr!


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineLocus
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/11/04
Posts: 6,112
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
Re: Some lyrics I wrote. [Re: AlCapwn]
    #7491641 - 10/06/07 02:36 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

i like it :smile:


--------------------

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleApollyphelion
Dungeon Master/Princess(1009)
Female User Gallery

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 16,757
Loc: Festival of Deaths
Re: Some lyrics I wrote. [Re: Locus]
    #7492157 - 10/06/07 05:37 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

I think it stands stronger as a Poem, than song lyrics.

I get this feeling because of the complexity of your statements. Rush could probably pull lyrics off by singing your piece. I know I couldn't, but I sure could READ the hell out of that, which I did.

To make it more songy, I'd use more simplsitic words, you scintillating ostentatious word whore conundrum;-)

As a poem though, it is excellent, and  really good for a first piece. The song part needs a smidgen of work. AND a melody. I find that the hard part!

Nice work, and keep having fun making work!

:thumbup:


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion



Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineLocus
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/11/04
Posts: 6,112
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
Re: Some lyrics I wrote. [Re: Apollyphelion]
    #7492206 - 10/06/07 05:53 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

oh for sure, i agree. i was thinking of it as a poem anyway.


--------------------

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinemathias
Ersatz Haderach
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/01/10
Posts: 561
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Some lyrics I wrote. [Re: AlCapwn]
    #12513862 - 05/05/10 10:10 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Nice one.
Effective.
Reminds me of one of the few poems I wrote that I consider successful. I am an instrumentalist mostly, so I often do not think in words when expressing myself. But when I do, things like this come out:

Vast oceans
A deep blue myth
Reflecting the Celestial Swirl
Rippling the moon and reversing the constellations

Currents pulling comets

The romance of mass and gravity perpetuates itself
As the atmosphere and the moisture polarize each other

So the colors are always changing


--------------------
intlslacker : "Why is it I always have the feeling that if RR weren't around it'd be like there were toddlers running around, bumping into walls and eating poisonous mushrooms?"


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1

Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Some Lyrics for the pub. The_Red_Crayon 635 6 12/11/04 11:02 PM
by Phr33k
* Just a rap i wrote
( 1 2 3 all )
highc 4,783 49 12/07/10 05:38 PM
by NastyDHL
* best lyric line of the day(post yours)
( 1 2 3 4 all )
desiretoheal 2,291 73 12/02/09 08:38 PM
by Sadhguru
* "Post your favorite rap song quote/lyric" thread
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 all )
Cracka_X 12,059 102 12/11/09 02:00 PM
by NoHum
* I wrote a review of of Montreal's Satanic Panic in the Attic Hyper_Panda_GO 498 3 01/16/09 01:11 PM
by Hyper_Panda_GO
* misheard lyrics jungjedi 995 7 08/10/06 10:08 PM
by kintos
* Top Meaningful Lyrics in Music
( 1 2 3 all )
Flop Johnson 4,122 50 03/22/07 04:13 PM
by cellardoor
* Your favourite lyric
( 1 2 3 all )
Leadwing 1,570 50 07/16/09 10:34 AM
by leftandright

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
724 topic views. 2 members, 34 guests and 34 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.026 seconds spending 0.007 seconds on 14 queries.