|
mikebart101
Bromden



Registered: 08/01/06
Posts: 619
Loc: New England
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
|
Am I going Insane?
#7485217 - 10/04/07 02:34 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
DANGER DANGER: Reading Ahead
You stoners disgust me....LOL (but seriously read this; I'm 'kidding' abou.......(insert at story's end)
Just had a 1 gram brownie a little while ago and I thought. I don't know why I do 'that';? Not think, but think of things like this. You see, there's this kid in my class who is oriental ( I AM NOT RACIST ) and he makes me think!
I have this fascination with WWII and I think its because I was a part of it in some past life; both Pacific and Atlantic parts. But I know thats not possible because they were fukin sep-ar-it!
I was part of both;
I am God. I lived all life, every instant, everything...."breath in"...everything, every life, evevverry liife! I know what everyone thinks and does but I am, blind! I I know this sounds crazy but listen to what I am saying. Sorry about the dialogue punctuattion between thought and speech, but listen carefully.
So there is this asian kid; Japanese probably and all I can think about is killing him. Weird but Im not racist. I killed him in WWII. I did I remember. Didn't look like him but it WAS him. I can feel it. All I can think about is killing him. And I want to cry.
I did interviews with WWII veterans last year. I was scared. Not because I was frightened by talking to elders and introducing themselves to them ( i meant myself but it works and lets continue) So...I was more afraid of crying when they smiled and they laughed. I knew I would put myself in their shoes not because I'm queer or self-righteous like that but because I have been and I can't help it. I associate with them; because I know, everyone of them thinks the same thing when they look at a Asian, German, past enemy etc., that "I killed them before." War trauma is that. That memory of killing; forever...your brother... And now its a part of infinity thought and memory.
Thats the battle you know. Between good and evil. Evil helps good and good helps evil (damn this yin and yang to hell; its infinity's beauty mark but its what makes it beautiful.
The first universe or perhaps the one before that? there is no telling when dealing with infinity; infinite forward also brings infinite reverse. So again, some time ago right now, the universe realized it would physically die one day and at that infinite instant it became conscious; what is today and what is tomorrow has been that same instant forever.
There has been a battle going on between physical reality and mental, 'conscious' reality ever since.
Thats it for now... I'm high....let me know if I need to ass to his bullshit...but if you want entertainment let me know....
....yea i said 'ass to his bullshit' but i meant 'add to this bullshit' but maybe I meant the first, "you people are fukin me in the ass and I 'know' i 'know' you are the Devil's poor excuse at consciousness."
-------------------- So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
|
mikebart101
Bromden



Registered: 08/01/06
Posts: 619
Loc: New England
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
|
|
...another thought...nevermind...'fuck you people and your rewind buttons; i can't remember and its fading; the world would be beautiful without any cameras, pictures, Pride and Joy, pamphlets of petty memory...it would be. Live for the moment because it is reality forever. You are their in that instant forever and every instant of that.
I broke my cell phone today...on purpose...thought about it. Because of what I'm explaining to you right now, I thought right then. Perfect thought at all instants of thought. I am God, remember it and know it: because you will be I some day and enjoy it like I have done. Know it....Knowing how to behave is insane.. all animals are insane beaus we refer to them as 'not-conscious' and instinctual. We are 'sane' because we know nothing what we do.
There is no meaning to life. Get over it. You want this to end; or do you want to be conscious and live forever? Its bittersweet I know but maybe I am wrong and there is only 1 instant. Do what I just said because it makes sense.
-------------------- So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
|
Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate



Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 20 hours
|
|
I appreciate the insight bro. I broke my cell on purpose once too. You're definitely high.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
|
mikebart101
Bromden



Registered: 08/01/06
Posts: 619
Loc: New England
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
|
|
You want to know how insane infinity is and how impossible it is to grasp reality.
"Its that area behind the flash, where you can't see what's going on back there; there is no picture of what you need to know."
-------------------- So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
|
mikebart101
Bromden



Registered: 08/01/06
Posts: 619
Loc: New England
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
|
|
Although God is great and everything is mentally beautiful where he is, he creates the most physically destructive than anyone. His plan is to kill all and become one consciousness again. We need WWIII in order to evolve. Life will find us again. And this time we'll have proof of our ancient instincts and become.....
Suck it up! Its the truth and realize it.
-------------------- So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
|
onlynow
transformativeinformativeenergy



Registered: 02/06/07
Posts: 1,480
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
|
|
it sounds to me like you are over-thinking things
if you are questioning your sanity maybe you need to step back a bit and observe, rather than analyze. truth IME cannot be contained within words and concepts, so I do not see any reason to analyze truth. today you think this, tomorrow may be a whole different story.
but it is nice to think when we are high, just as long as we know we're doing so
--------------------
Strive to be more than a codified manifestation of a generalized technological consciousness
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
|
There is no meaning to life
You could have saved yourself a lot of writing dude.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
Stizzle
Stranger



Registered: 04/26/07
Posts: 754
Loc: Tuvalu
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
|
|
I read the first few sentences you wrote... you are not going insane you are already there.
--------------------
|
onlynow
transformativeinformativeenergy



Registered: 02/06/07
Posts: 1,480
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
|
Re: Am I going Insane? [Re: Stizzle]
#7485538 - 10/04/07 04:21 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
hey, at least he is on the path to self-realization... unlike most of us container heads trapped in television land
--------------------
Strive to be more than a codified manifestation of a generalized technological consciousness
|
Visionary Tools



Registered: 06/23/07
Posts: 7,953
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
|
|
Quote:
mikebart101 said: Just had a 1 gram brownie a little while ago and I thought. I don't know why I do 'that';? Not think, but think of things like this. You see, there's this kid in my class who is oriental ( I AM NOT RACIST ) and he makes me think!
Why is it racist to notice someone is different to yourself?
--------------------
|
jonathanseagull
Cool!


Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 993
Last seen: 10 years, 11 days
|
|
Quote:
Visionary Tools said:
Quote:
mikebart101 said: Just had a 1 gram brownie a little while ago and I thought. I don't know why I do 'that';? Not think, but think of things like this. You see, there's this kid in my class who is oriental ( I AM NOT RACIST ) and he makes me think!
Why is it racist to notice someone is different to yourself?
Because he wants to kill him because he is Japanese, and says this is because of karmic urges of a past life.
--------------------
Loving in truth, and fain in verse my love to show, That the dear She might take some pleasure of my pain: Pleasure might cause her read, reading might make her know, Knowledge might pity win, and pity grace obtain.
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
|
So for me then the answer would be yes, he is going insane.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
|
|
These are like the acid revelations I always have, hahaha. Especially the one about all of us needing to die so god could become one consciousness.. it made a lot of sense at the time.
You will be me someday and I will be you someday and you have been me sometime before and I have been you sometime before. Live for the moment and you will never die because you will be reborn in each breath for eternity.
Infinite forward and infinite backward is happening right now, and we are god experiencing both habit and novelty all the time in each moment. Physical reality is habit, consciousness is novelty?
We are fucking you in the ass because "we don't know any better". How does it feel to be aware of our stubborness? 
--------------------
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
|
You are also going insane me thinks.
In fact P&S is one big funny farm and "God" is nurse Kratchet.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
MushmanTheManic
Stranger

Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 4,587
|
Re: Am I going Insane? [Re: Icelander]
#7486021 - 10/04/07 06:52 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
Kratchet or Ratched?
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
|
Yeah, one of those. I didn't get my meds yet.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
MarkostheGnostic
Elder


Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
|
Re: Am I going Insane? [Re: Icelander]
#7486537 - 10/04/07 09:21 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Icelander said: So for me then the answer would be yes, he is going insane.
Either an acute transient psychotic episode or Schizophrenia, Paranoid Type. Delusional in either case.
|
onlynow
transformativeinformativeenergy



Registered: 02/06/07
Posts: 1,480
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
|
|
now you really got him questioning his sanity.. Mr. Ph.D.
|
mikebart101
Bromden



Registered: 08/01/06
Posts: 619
Loc: New England
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
|
Re: Am I going Insane? [Re: onlynow]
#7488021 - 10/05/07 10:56 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
At T+24hrs, I am still somewhat high. Fukin chocolate.
-------------------- So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
|
onlynow
transformativeinformativeenergy



Registered: 02/06/07
Posts: 1,480
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
|
|
High on what?
--------------------
Strive to be more than a codified manifestation of a generalized technological consciousness
|
|