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epilectric
tea sipping


Registered: 06/28/06
Posts: 1,023
Loc: Vienna
Last seen: 14 hours, 5 minutes
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ego tripping
#7470710 - 09/30/07 02:45 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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it's been almost 2 years, since i had my last full lsd trip (that was half a geltab + 1.5 geltabs after i didn't feel much after 3 hours) everytime i took lsd, even in lower doses, i got this ego thing going on waves of energy, which are cool in temperature rise in my body and move upwards i feel like some kind of superhuman being, totally cool, totally handsome, totally intelligent, totally humorous and just damn kick-ass it's not that i act nasty to other people, in fact, i'm very friendly, but i still feel superior to everyone else i get this "i'm better than you" grin combined with my head hold high i've never done coke, and i'm not planning on doing it, but somehow, this is what i imagine coke feels like after i got this egotripping thing for the first time, it made its way into soberness not a day up to today has passed, without at least getting that rising waves of ego energy once, but when it goes away, it gives way to exactly the opposite: i feel stupid, retarded and ugly i think about myself ALL the time even if i talk to people, and they're telling me something, i have a hard time concentrating on what they're saying, cause i always think about what they think about me and i'm quite concerned with that if someone says something nice to me, even if it's ridiculous in value i get an ego-boost if someone critisises me or the like, i feel totally stupid, ugly and retarded all the time on acid, this process is amplified times X now, actually, i don't want to be like that lsd is said to dissolve your ego and make you become one with your surroundings, if the dose is high enough i had about 4 trips, where i got one with my surroundings, which were all very beautiful, and ironically the first of them was the one, where i had the egoboosting thing for the first time that said, i have to mention, that i always had a bit of a lower self-esteem, nothing i had to really worry about, but still lower than average, i would say and i was 16 during my major lsd consumption time, i'm 19 now now, has anyone else experienced the same thing with lsd usage? i got a similar thing with shrooms, btw but i never did a lot of them, and i never took more than 2-3 grams, so i never experienced ego-death on shrooms i'm sure gonna try one day though
Edited by epilectric (09/30/07 02:48 PM)
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JstHereFrTheCake
Stranger
Registered: 01/05/07
Posts: 189
Last seen: 15 years, 1 month
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well if this is happening all the time and it is interfering with your life you might want to talk to someone. It sounds like bi-polar disorder. If it doesn't really affect your life much then I wouldn't worry about it. I'm not a psychologist or anything but thats what it sounds like to me based on what I know.
Plus based on what I know about psychedelics it only makes sense that something like that would be intensified while tripping.
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StreetFreak
smellin' like a plant


Registered: 02/10/07
Posts: 946
Loc: locked in a place where n...
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
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I have a friend like that.. it's quite annoying in sobriety and trip land.
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sonar
Stranger

Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 216
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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LSD and shrooms can be psychologically addictive, I think whenever I do those three I get super-crazy creative thought loops and I can write poetry and stories as easy as breathing (although my ideas for art become amazing, the ability to use a pencil becomes increasingly lethargic and less accurate aswell as the difficulty of playing guitar while tripping).
It's quite easy to misinterpret the 'goodness' feelings for superiority, shrooms and lsd show you a world where you are (imho) exposed to the beauty of the universe and the feeling of oneness, interconnectedness and that feeling of untapped human potential useful if you ever need to do some meditation or thinking about your lifes direction.
The problem I believe is quite psycho-analytic in nature. We all want the desire to control our own destinies so we may fight any psychedelic revelations and confuse these messages with notions of power, boundless freedom, hedonism and self-mastery. This is usually because we have been conditioned in our society to worship the ideals of individualism. Which is good for competitive societies, except that this attitude leads to arrogance and being out of touch with oneness.
The feelings of 'oneness with the universe' can be replaced by believing oneself is the universe, a god, a creator... This is not necessarily far off the mark, the difference is that though initially you may experience these uberman moments, you need to take off your yellow tinted glasses (the ego defense) and see reality for what it really is by suspending the ideas of self (perhaps read transcendental philosophy/psychology or buddhism leading up to a trip).
While we are 'gods' in the sense that that we're a 'god' in our own individual immediate reality (and of being part of creation and the act of creating), our solar system is just a grain of sand in a long long long long beach. You will eventually find out how to switch off your ego-defense one day, I don't intend to be ageist but being 19 you probably need a few more years to grow out of the teenage ego. Although theres nothing necessarily wrong about having an ego, having an ego is not conductive if you want to learn life lessons as knowledge usually requires humility for it to be integrated.
Good luck!
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TheMerryGangster
Be Good Family



Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 1,418
Loc: Here
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
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Re: ego tripping [Re: sonar]
#10686793 - 07/16/09 07:38 AM (14 years, 6 months ago) |
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I always describe LSD as going "Jedi", at least for me, my senses are heightened to the max, I can get a feel for how a person is perceiving a situation just by how they are looking around and talking (much more intuitive), better at problem solving, more creative, more philosophical, just on point in general. Just don't make this allow you to believe you're better than anyone. We all have a purpose, we're all here to grow and evolve and do our part.
-------------------- Lysergic exploration. Fungus-induced enlightenment. Herbal healing. "When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky." -Buddha.
Peace , Love , and Light *EVERYTHING I SAY ON THIS SITE IS PURELY FICTION*
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crkhd
☾☼☽

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 2,401
Loc: A human sphere enfolding ...
Last seen: 8 months, 8 days
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Quote:
epilectric said: it's been almost 2 years, since i had my last full lsd trip (that was half a geltab + 1.5 geltabs after i didn't feel much after 3 hours) everytime i took lsd, even in lower doses, i got this ego thing going on waves of energy, which are cool in temperature rise in my body and move upwards i feel like some kind of superhuman being, totally cool, totally handsome, totally intelligent, totally humorous and just damn kick-ass it's not that i act nasty to other people, in fact, i'm very friendly, but i still feel superior to everyone else i get this "i'm better than you" grin combined with my head hold high i've never done coke, and i'm not planning on doing it, but somehow, this is what i imagine coke feels like after i got this egotripping thing for the first time, it made its way into soberness not a day up to today has passed, without at least getting that rising waves of ego energy once, but when it goes away, it gives way to exactly the opposite: i feel stupid, retarded and ugly i think about myself ALL the time even if i talk to people, and they're telling me something, i have a hard time concentrating on what they're saying, cause i always think about what they think about me and i'm quite concerned with that if someone says something nice to me, even if it's ridiculous in value i get an ego-boost if someone critisises me or the like, i feel totally stupid, ugly and retarded all the time on acid, this process is amplified times X now, actually, i don't want to be like that lsd is said to dissolve your ego and make you become one with your surroundings, if the dose is high enough i had about 4 trips, where i got one with my surroundings, which were all very beautiful, and ironically the first of them was the one, where i had the egoboosting thing for the first time that said, i have to mention, that i always had a bit of a lower self-esteem, nothing i had to really worry about, but still lower than average, i would say and i was 16 during my major lsd consumption time, i'm 19 now now, has anyone else experienced the same thing with lsd usage? i got a similar thing with shrooms, btw but i never did a lot of them, and i never took more than 2-3 grams, so i never experienced ego-death on shrooms i'm sure gonna try one day though
This happens to me with DMT usage but I don't get the downward effects. More likely, the LSD brings you into a state of reality where you are more yourself and after coming down, you retreat back into your own shell. The same thing occurs with DMT, it's like hooking your personality up to an amplifier. The effects stay for a while during the afterglow but they fade away and you return to reality. However if you have a good life post-trip, you can preserve this state for very long.
Just think of it as LSD throwing you into the mindstate you would have had supposing you lived a perfect/very good life where you had an awesome diet, sleep routine, education, friends, family, etc. One can naturally achieve this state. It's just a hell of a lot more difficult.
It is very much like bipolar disorder, the "up" state is like mania and the "down" state is like depression. One thing I have noticed is that I get more complements/higher quality of life when in this "up" state, because everyone around you thinks that you have higher status (evolutionarily) because you believe in it yourself. There's no reason that cannot be permanently so. Enjoy the high self esteem for however long it lasts and strive to attain that state, it makes life so much better. The trick is to ensure that the feeling of superiority is left aside.
Quote:
waves of energy, which are cool in temperature rise in my body and move upwards i feel like some kind of superhuman being, totally cool,
Psychedelics make you a reciever of waves of cool from the Infinite We-Are-Cooler-Than-You Hyperenergeticpsuedointellectual Matrix™.
On a serious note, it's more to do with the LSD fucking about with/enhancing dopamine neurotransmission.
-------------------- "Everything there is, and all that there is, is a Pattern of unspeakable proportion. The Pattern contains everything that is, completely fixed in succession, all the minimal particles interconnected in every way that is. Every way that is is not every conceivable way, because not everything that can be conceived is manifest in the pattern." "THE Human, you, is a miniscule but essential part of that pattern. In it lies complete fulfillment. It will never become something it is not, but it will never need to be anything else." - Wiccan_Seeker "If boring drudgery was the way of the universe, everything would have killed itself long ago." - Spacerific
Edited by crkhd (07/16/09 08:01 AM)
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