hiya, im just running this question through my noggin and i have to start with that i took bout an eigth of shrooms (hot dog bun filled to the brim,bottom of zip lock really, looked very dry) 10 days ago by myself, to my face at once and had what you would call a heavy trip I convinced myself you could OD for a few minutes cause that eminem song"never ment to give you mushrooms girl) and hendrix (sleeping pills actually now that i think about it sober) I also thought if i fell asleep id die (thought i was forgetting to breathe once or twice) and going out of the trip thought i would have scitzophrenia for the rest of my days
"Your repressed health teacher was right!!"
Nothing i would question if i was sober but jus a bitch when your by yourself with no one to question beside your fam who your tryin to hide it from. No visual hallucinations either, just a breathin/sinkin feelin in my room(mainly on my bed) and in split seconds(jus idea more or less) a layer of multicolored texture over my vision in my bathroom (like i was in a new dimension of reality) or the idea that i could intertwine with the bathtub water (but i already took a shower so i didnt want anyone to think im OCD rather then just chillen hard listenin to music trippn) and some CEV's.
But not with out a sensation of oneness with everybody, driving around torwards the 3rd 1/2 hour or less (pissed about it afterwards) i felt the presence of everyone i knew in my skitzo mind and basically got a kick out of my own life, bumpin mars volta through the hood (people dressed hip hop, shiney rims, cops cruising) and town (watchin people i dont kno hug each other and everyone lookin like they're havin a good time on this beautiful fuckin day.
Then driving back home i felt i could die whenever if i just simply made a dumb move or somebody else did something stupid, but the thing was i trusted everybody, so it didnt bug me how easy it was to die in a automobile accident even when i was imagining my jaw beiong ripped to shreds or metal and glass shattering (been in a accident once no injury tho) i just accepted the possibility and thought if it happened id deal with it, not givin a shit bout pain more then i have before in my life.
anyway i get home, thinkn im stuck (both mentally and in my "predetermined" sober life) and just felt really burnt. My brother ask me to set up guitar hero and in the 20 minutes it takes me to comprehend what im doin/sayin, i manage to completly lose track of minutes and what day it is even tho ive only been gone bout half an hour.
Not only that, after coming home and findin my cell (it was here?!) with the text "we're at the bay", my girl calls me and ask if im coming to meet her at her, but i say no (blowin her off from earlier), cause i promised my brother we'd chill. the thing is I WAS THERE, not at the bay but down the street at her girlfriends house, i just didnt have my cell on me, so i just said fuck it and left, but the thing was i didnt even realize i did that til i saw incoming call on my cell. Driving back all i was wonderin was where the hell my cell and I am (not lost, jus not linkin streets together more or less, followin road rules set up by the greater consciousness) and that street name crossing the back of my mind once or twice but never gettin too deep into it,besides the idea that people told me to go there but i didnt reason why.
So the thing is I really dont kno if im ready to take shrooms again.
The reason i wanna dose tommara is cause my boys who've only done twice and one who never tripped are doin it and theyre basically family to me so why the hell not, I actually wanna have fun this time(rather then sittin in my bedroom all day wondering what to do with myself besides puttin my head in the toilet and yakin my brains out before i OD or being to paranoid to watch family guy or a scanner darkly for the fear of hallucinating)
Ive hallucinated on weed three times, once a black cat out of my periphials a week after rolling and another time with a forest backdrop as if the stars in the sky where eyes looking through the trees, i perceived one "eye" got brighter and a headless flying cream coloured lizard-like creature flapped its wings through the sump woods parked 30 feet away at my boys house, bout three weeks ago, for literally a split second.
The thing is I've felt good though lately even after, heartbreakingly at the time, breaking up with my girl. Not cause of the trip mind you, jus the fact we probably werent gonna go any further then what we were at after a month of goin out and with her leaving in a bit(im gonna miss her i fear). Even if i do have a great trip tommara im afraid im stressing the shit outta my brain and itll have effects on me when im sober again. honestly i just dont feel comfortable expecting anythin, because theyre shrooms and the trip i had before it and the one i just had where completly different(diff species, diff setting, diff mindstate)
So I have to ask your opinion, is 10 days to you really enough time from my expierience and from your own past experiences to be dosing again at an eigth? I really wanna jus go bonkers with my boys for a lil even if i dont get anythin spiritual out of it like the last two times.
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