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Shop: Kraken Kratom Buy Kava Tea, Red Vein Kratom   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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OfflineLuSiD9
reality is plastic
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AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!
    #7452580 - 09/25/07 04:58 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Allright... I don't know why I'm posting this for a bunch of strangers, but I guess I need to vent or something...

my girlfriend of 3 years just broke up with me for no apparent reason, and it's fucking killing me, it's been 3 days of hell,this was the first time my life was starting to look pretty good, it was the first time i've been able to plan into the furture for more then a week at a time, we were buying a house, and blah blah blah... It all started happening once I got together with her, she pulled out of hell... Now I've got no place to go, about to lose my job because I haven't been there for the last three days due to overwhelming stress, no money, broken plans for the future, and a sense of shattered hope...

My stomach feels like I ate glass, my head feels like it's in a vice grip, my heart is pounding so hard I can't believe it hasn't exploded,  I can't eat, can't sleep, and those are just the physical effects.  I feel like a broken down machine, a machine that is about to self destruct in a very explosive manor.

I honestly don't feel I have the drive to go on, like I've tried way to fucking hard to get where I am and then BAM it all gets pulled away from under me... AGAIN. 

I honestly don't know what to do with myself


:bomb:


--------------------
Nothing is true, everything is permissible.

Our laws make law impossible; our liberties destroy all freedom; our property is organized robbery; our morality an impudent hypocrisy; our wisdom is administered by inexperienced or mal-experienced dupes; our power wielded by cowards and weaklings; and our honour false in all its points. I am an enemy of the existing order for good reasons.


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OfflineSneezingPenis
ACHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!111!
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Registered: 01/15/05
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Re: AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! [Re: LuSiD9]
    #7452614 - 09/25/07 05:11 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

ever thought about being you instead of being you + her?

This is the difference between infatuation and love: love is when you care about a persons happiness above your own.

If you truly love her, then you should support and be happy about any choice that she makes, even if that choice is to be without you.

It sounds like you smothered her. She realized that you centered your life off her and probably didnt feel the same way, and she just might have had enough respect or affinity for you that she thought it better to cut it off now before things became written in stone.

if you need someone to be with you, to consider yourself a "whole" person, or to positively value yourself, then you arent prepared for a relationship. You have to be your own person and be ok with being single or with someone.


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OfflineLion
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Re: AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! [Re: LuSiD9]
    #7452620 - 09/25/07 05:12 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Sometimes it's good to vent. Nothing anyone here can say will change the way you feel, I think, but maybe we can point you in the right direction.

In dealing with this type of mental and physical stress, you have to surrender.

Try lying in the corpse position and doing 20 or 30 minutes of really deep breathing. Feel your inner body, your essential aliveness. Flood yourself with consciousness from head to toe.

Try going for a walk, getting some fresh air, staring up at the sky and remembering that you are just one part of a vast and beautiful ocean, and that the ocean does not move carelessly or malevolently even when it seems that it has.

Try immersing yourself in a really good book, maybe one of your all-time favorites (for me it's always The Lord of the Rings) or a new one. Or do the same thing with a movie.

Try buying some kava kava for stress relief. I ordered some the other day because it is a great way to become calm. Try listening to some very soothing music as you are in bed trying to go to sleep, and lose yourself in the vibrations.

The pain you are feeling now is pain with has been stored up in your subconscious mind waiting to be released. It is negative energy that was not created by the situation you are now in, but merely made conscious, brought to the forefront of your awareness. So work with this situation to become more conscious, to accept the negative energy and let it takes its course.

Peace and much love


--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”


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OfflineMushroomTrip
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Re: AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! [Re: LuSiD9]
    #7452909 - 09/25/07 06:31 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

I honestly don't know what to do with myself




Realize that you're your own person and that you don't "need" anybody to be able to live and enjoy life.
Break ups like those always hurt but it doesn't mean that you have to indulge yourself in this loop. Crying for your own misfortune is exactly what makes you feel unable to help yourself.
You may be feeling betrayed, hurt and that you didn't deserve what happened to you. Drop this kind of thinking. Experiencing life has nothing to do with fair or unfair, simply because it's an error to judge life through these lenses. And we only feel hurt when we think that we've been prejudiced.
I am sure you can more that that and that you can get over these surface judgments regarding life.
No matter how harsh this might sound, there's no reason to cry over spilled milk. You're the only one who can allow yourself to become independent and start enjoying life on your own, no matter the circumstances.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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Offlineblunt master
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Registered: 08/20/07
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Re: AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #7452950 - 09/25/07 06:42 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

My girlfriend of eleven months just broke up with me today too. I feel your pain man, I can only imagine how much worse it is to be in your situation though.
You just gotta keep moving on no matter how hard it is, it happens to a lot of people and somehow they all get through it. Good luck man


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OfflineLuSiD9
reality is plastic
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Re: AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! [Re: blunt master]
    #7455468 - 09/26/07 11:50 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

It's not what I wanted to hear, but it's definetly what I needed...

I was pretty vauge on the circumstancses and lets just say there were some severe injuries done... I will pick up the pieces and carry on, i've done it many times before, it's just taking a lot out of me these days, this one was big, but I'll just have to turn this into deep confrontaion and learning experience with my shadow, maybe bind a few demons, and hopefully come out of it intact, and stronger.

Fuck man, I've been feeling like an emo the last few days... Maybe I should start selling emo potry or something, I'd be good at it right now... :puke: then again maybe not.

anyway, thanks...

ouch though, I feel like I just got slapped by dr phil :lol:


--------------------
Nothing is true, everything is permissible.

Our laws make law impossible; our liberties destroy all freedom; our property is organized robbery; our morality an impudent hypocrisy; our wisdom is administered by inexperienced or mal-experienced dupes; our power wielded by cowards and weaklings; and our honour false in all its points. I am an enemy of the existing order for good reasons.


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OfflineLuSiD9
reality is plastic
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 4,705
Loc: The Bowels of Canada
Last seen: 14 days, 5 hours
Re: AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! [Re: blunt master]
    #7455546 - 09/26/07 12:12 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

blunt master said:
My girlfriend of eleven months just broke up with me today too. I feel your pain man, I can only imagine how much worse it is to be in your situation though.
You just gotta keep moving on no matter how hard it is, it happens to a lot of people and somehow they all get through it. Good luck man




thanks dude... Good luck to you to.


--------------------
Nothing is true, everything is permissible.

Our laws make law impossible; our liberties destroy all freedom; our property is organized robbery; our morality an impudent hypocrisy; our wisdom is administered by inexperienced or mal-experienced dupes; our power wielded by cowards and weaklings; and our honour false in all its points. I am an enemy of the existing order for good reasons.


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InvisibleZippoZM
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Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Re: AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! [Re: LuSiD9]
    #7460405 - 09/27/07 01:45 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

man, .,i hear ya.
somthing like this happened to me not too long ago.
find something, someone else to fill your time with,
time heals all wounds.
peace


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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InvisibleThin White Duke
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Posts: 51,530
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Re: AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! [Re: LuSiD9]
    #7461619 - 09/27/07 06:54 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Time is your best friend here.

Cliched like hell, but true.


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