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InvisibleKingOftheThing
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Registered: 11/17/02
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ive reached a weird place in my life
    #7445390 - 09/23/07 07:33 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

ive had highs, then lows...u know like everyone else does i assume. now though i feel im jaded as fuck. like i dont have the urge to go out anymore, ive grown tired of the bar scene. ive grown tired of dating. i havent had a serious girl in 3 year. however ive dated so many girls that i havent liked it blows my mind. i mean what are the chances i havent been able to form a connection with even one of them? i am attracted to girls who are unattainable. for instance i had a chance with a girl i passed on, now she is dating a guy and i want her. another girl who i had a one night stand with in a pool, i ditched her. now she is really hot and dating someone esle and im into her. ive become somewhat of a hermit...going out maybe once a week. i make excuses not to hangout or go do things. it seems getting a good nights sleep is more important to me than doing the bar thing again. im not sure where to meet women anymore. most of my friends are with girls, so the days of going out as bachelors and pulling girls has ended. bars are a horrible place to meet. my new job is full of fat chicks and old women. i used to pull girls when my friends dated chicks who brought their friends around. now they are all in long term deals and the girls they date, ive met all their friends. where else do people meet women?? online?? i mean do i have to resort to onlin dating? that would be depressing


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: ive reached a weird place in my life [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #7445409 - 09/23/07 07:41 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

KingOftheThing said:
ive had highs, then lows...u know like everyone else does i assume. now though i feel im jaded as fuck. like i dont have the urge to go out anymore, ive grown tired of the bar scene. ive grown tired of dating. i havent had a serious girl in 3 year. however ive dated so many girls that i havent liked it blows my mind. i mean what are the chances i havent been able to form a connection with even one of them? i am attracted to girls who are unattainable. for instance i had a chance with a girl i passed on, now she is dating a guy and i want her. another girl who i had a one night stand with in a pool, i ditched her. now she is really hot and dating someone esle and im into her. ive become somewhat of a hermit...going out maybe once a week. i make excuses not to hangout or go do things. it seems getting a good nights sleep is more important to me than doing the bar thing again. im not sure where to meet women anymore. most of my friends are with girls, so the days of going out as bachelors and pulling girls has ended. bars are a horrible place to meet. my new job is full of fat chicks and old women. i used to pull girls when my friends dated chicks who brought their friends around. now they are all in long term deals and the girls they date, ive met all their friends. where else do people meet women?? online?? i mean do i have to resort to onlin dating? that would be depressing




Welcome to my world.  I divide girls into several categories:

1.  Friends who I don't think romantically of.
2.  Girls who I am not attracted to/interested in but that are easy and I'll stick my dick in then if I'm horny.
3.  Girls that I am attracted to/interested in.

My (and probably your problem) is that I put #3's on an incredibly high pedestal like they are goddesses and I am incredibly shy and almost fearful about approaching them.  I pine over them and either get nowhere with them or make myself look like a total dork.  I then usually end up having sex with a #2 or unfortunately a #1 starts liking me, I give in, and we end up having sex.

Sucks man.  What can I tell you?  I just don't care anymore.  :shrug:


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Offlinechamp
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Re: ive reached a weird place in my life [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #7445429 - 09/23/07 07:48 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Don't worry, it just sounds like you are getting older...and possibly more mature :wink:

I mean, do you really want to have a serious or long-term relationship with a girl you've "pulled" somewhere or had a one-night stand with?  Not to say that you can't meet some hot chick and be so instantly attracted to each other that you fuck and then fall in love forever--but it's not that likely.

My advice would be to stop dating girls you don't like and start keeping your eyes open for a woman you respect, can have a good time with and who will be a true partner for you.

Online dating is not necessarily depressing, but it's better to meet people in real life while you're doing something you enjoy. So if there's a part of yourself that you've been neglecting--maybe you used to do something creative or play a sport?--then get back into it and you'll meet new people and some of them will be women. Dunno, hope what I'm saying doesn't sound too corny.


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OfflineStreetFreak
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Registered: 02/10/07
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Re: ive reached a weird place in my life [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #7445434 - 09/23/07 07:49 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Sometimes the transitions into a new phase of life can be confusing. I think it is obvious the bar scene has repeatedly introduced you to people that are not your type of people. I can understand why a good nights rest would be more important than going to a bar for a lot of reasons, and I'm sure you can too.

Just because something is out of reach doesn't mean it should be what you strive for. People tend to want things that are out of reach, it gives them something to strive for. Find out what you really want and strive for those things, there are a lot of things out of reach, but I bet that doesn't mean you want all of those.

However, if you have already had something within reach and discovered it is not what you wanted, once it is out of reach know that it is ok. You've seen what it was about, and now you can go on as they already have. There are mistakes though, but don't confuse mistakes with striving for out of reach goals.

I doubt you were going to a bar scene to try and meet women with whom to have a serious honest lasting relationship. Don't be suprised when that is not what you get from a bar. I believe people generally meet their significant others in the least expected context, because in those context this is when you are more yourself.

You are obviously moving from a phase in your life and now you have to pick a new phase to go into. I suggest not trying to develop this phase around trying to find a relationship. Creating a false representation will only bring you to people that are not really like you, and to which you don't have an authentic interest in. Maybe you find certain aspects interesting, but not the core.

So what your job is full of "fat chicks and old women." Did you go apply for that job to try and score with some ultimate satisfaction of a female? Or are you trying to make money.

I can't really tell you what's going on with you, as nobody else really can except yourself. These are all things you need to take time out of your day and ponder upon. I hate to be so cliche, but a planned trip with the right goals and intentions in mind may do wonders for you.

You can paint whatever picture you want with what I have said.


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InvisibleKingOftheThing
the cool fool
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Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 27,397
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Re: ive reached a weird place in my life [Re: champ]
    #7445473 - 09/23/07 07:59 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

i think im less attractive or something too. the quality of girls ive pulled has gone down a bit. from 16-22 i slept with some hot girls... lately theyve been so so


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Offlinechamp
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Re: ive reached a weird place in my life [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #7445500 - 09/23/07 08:07 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

It could be you're less attractive than you used to be.
But stop caring about that, it's not important. If you're truly relying on your looks alone to attract a suitable woman than you're not following up with the right actions or words!

Not to be a buzzkill, but the guys who spend their best years chasing tail end up alone. A lot of the single women your age are having the same thoughts, so man up and take it into a different context--one that's not only about what's on the outside but what's on the inside. You know, like character and personality.


Edited by champ (09/23/07 08:08 PM)


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Registered: 06/15/02
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Re: ive reached a weird place in my life [Re: champ]
    #7445505 - 09/23/07 08:08 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

champ said:
Not to be a buzzkill, but the guys who spend their best years chasing tail end up alone.




I disagree. Guys who spend their best years chasing tail have awesome lives.


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Offlinechamp
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Re: ive reached a weird place in my life [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #7445516 - 09/23/07 08:11 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Maybe :grin:
But if all you want is sex or the fun of hunting than just admit it and don't follow it up with whining that you're not making some kind of "connection" or finding anything meaningful and worth holding on to.
I definitely don't think casual sex is a bad thing, but when it's not your true goal, it can be a real distraction and get you into a whole head game with yourself and with females.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: ive reached a weird place in my life [Re: champ]
    #7445563 - 09/23/07 08:19 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

I'm making a connection with my hand right now. Hooray for celibacy!


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Offlinechamp
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Re: ive reached a weird place in my life [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #7445574 - 09/23/07 08:21 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Congratulations, I think you two will be very happy together :thumbup:


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InvisibleKingOftheThing
the cool fool
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Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 27,397
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Re: ive reached a weird place in my life [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #7445620 - 09/23/07 08:29 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

some comic made a joke once..something like, "guys want sex so we have something to think about next time we mastrubate"


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InvisibleEffedS
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Registered: 05/15/02
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Re: ive reached a weird place in my life [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #7445672 - 09/23/07 08:44 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Old man Kott, yeah wtf... You have become a recluse! :p Are you coming to the Gathering in two weeks?
You and Dusty should stop out like old times.

Eharmony has free profile matching. :p


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Invisible40oz
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Registered: 01/18/01
Posts: 30,119
Loc: Sandy Eggo. Ca.
Re: ive reached a weird place in my life [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #7446171 - 09/23/07 11:09 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

RandalFlagg said:
Quote:

champ said:
Not to be a buzzkill, but the guys who spend their best years chasing tail end up alone.




I disagree.  Guys who spend their best years chasing tail have awesome lives.




:grin:


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