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Offlinelearningtofly
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Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane.
    #7439774 - 09/22/07 08:53 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

So at 8:09 i drank up my OJ/shroom mix which didn't taste that bad but looked like hell. Didn't feel much for a good 20 minutes. First it was little jolts of energy here and there. Secondly I noticed that I started singing along with whatever was playing.

So it was pretty much like that for the first hour but then things started breathing a bit and the patterns became very clear. (I was playing Counter-strike at the time so that made it quite interesting to be amazed at everything). I would say roughly 20 minutes later my vision started to get "sharper" and the chairs and everything began to dance. This was totally awesome I thought to myself.

Since so many people have said "Just let go" I didn't resist a single impulse... which in retrospect was bad because I broke a small lamp (coming later)

I felt that I needed to turn off the computer and walk outside for awhile. One of the greatest things I saw was under a tree illuminated by my bedroom lights, all the patterns in the grass. I lied down under the tree for awhile and saw what I can only describe as Mayan drawings. In a little bit they became 3D and got bigger and smaller depending on my breathing pattern.

So right about now I would say is 2hrs I decided to go to my room and lie down with the lights out to "Find myself" because so many people said they can find answers they already know when they have that sort of stimuli...... HOLY FUCK WAS I WRONG. This is the scariest fucking moment of my life I kidd you not. Which lasts literally the rest of the trip so i'm 6 hours in my own hell. I will try to detail it as much as possible.


Almost immedietly I become isolated in a corner. The first signs of something going wrong is I keep forgetting who I am and what I do. The only thing I knew about myself is my name. I pondered who I am, if I really exist, does anyone I know exist? My daily activities seemed like a lie in which I was just someones dream. If I looked up, everything was dying, going to hurt me, covered in maggots, just the worst things you CANT imagine. I also felt like I was dying as well. So I tried to close my eyes and huddle under my covers, which only made things worse as the maggots and goblins came ever closer.

Oh fuck I thought, what is happening to me? I looked at the clock.... only 950. I felt so sick that i tried to calm myself down. I tried to look back up but my vision was so blurred, not to mention I kept falling thru myself over and over (if you're lookin at something and you get the feeling that you fall thru a hole, do you kinda understand what i'm saying?)

After another hour or so of this pain I tried to sleep it off but I couldn't escape the death. Eventually after losing my sanity (even though i'm fine now i sure as hell lost it last night) I just began screaming random shit because I felt that I don't exist and I am a dream so whatever I do doesn't matter (this is where I broke the lamp out of frustration). As I began going cuckoo everything still looked like death and I still didn't know what I was even though I knew in th e back of my mind that I was something (Which was frustrating because I couldn't remember).

I then tried to get a change of scenery but was unable to move due to fear, pain, and whatever the hell else was in my way. After about half an hour of trying to get up I went into a different bedroom with light colors, hoping that would help. Boy was I wrong... literally the rest of my trip was in that nightmare. I don't know how or when I got to sleep but when I woke up and found that I wasn't insane I was so fucking happy.

Here is what I believe this represents...
For some reason I was inhabited by a child
In the beginning when I was restless and checking everything out it was like a kid new to the world. Everything was fun and happy and playful. But I guess I did something to piss someone off because as you know I had a total mindfuck.

I obviously left some details out as it is hard to remember EVERYTHING.

EDIT: In retrospect it's pretty stupid of me to have thought that this was going to last forever because its just a drug and its wears off. But then again, try telling that to someone who thinks they are dying.

I guess since I didn't learn a damn thing about anything, I got two things out of this.
1. The experience, I figure well at least I know whats coming next time I get into a hole.
2. The experience itself.


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Edited by learningtofly (09/22/07 09:06 AM)


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OfflineAlCapwn
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Registered: 02/03/07
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: learningtofly]
    #7439805 - 09/22/07 09:07 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Bummer. Learn anything?


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Huuuuurrrrrr!


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: AlCapwn]
    #7439814 - 09/22/07 09:11 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Nothin except that my head is a pretty scary place. Oh and don't watch The Wall before trippin (The head in "The Wall" came out of my wall and that was weird)


Do you know why (i've heard this is common, but why?) when things are gettin bad everything has a mouth? I had no idea why that happened and it wasn't scary so much as just really odd.


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Edited by learningtofly (09/22/07 09:13 AM)


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OfflineShroomingNJ
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: learningtofly]
    #7439864 - 09/22/07 09:32 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Ya had my first trip in about six months last night it absofuckinglutley blew, Poor planning on my part though not the shrooms fault


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InvisibleEll Ess Bree
reppin state tostate, wat uneed?

Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 914
Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: ShroomingNJ]
    #7439881 - 09/22/07 09:40 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Tripping takes practice. It doesn't just start out amazing.

Well, for some people it does, but who knows the events that make that so.

It's like skateboarding, or pole vaulting, or playing guitar.

Getting used to infinity is no easy task. However, you're alive and not in jail, so you are one step beyond those that take the trip and fuck up.

Expect your next trip to not be 100% amazing the whole time either. You'll be prepared if it goes a little, what you personally find to be, "sour", and you'll be pleasantly surprised if it goes smooth the whole time.

Unda'stood?


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Offlineskunkape
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: Ell Ess Bree]
    #7439937 - 09/22/07 10:10 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

ahhh man sucks that your trip went bad... try a slightly smaller dose next time. I had a very similar sounding bad trip before where I forgot who I was and what I did. I thought I was a rich man who had gone insane or had become autistic. When you're that deep in the experience its very difficult to make yourself remember that you're on mushrooms and it will eventually end.
And i think you did learn something...always respect and never underestimate the shroomzzzz


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_______________________________________________________


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: skunkape]
    #7439949 - 09/22/07 10:15 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

I have no idea what I learned. Also you're right about the being so deep that you forget you're on mushrooms. That didn't even cross my mind the entire time.

EDIT: One thing that i'm questioning is the fact that it was only when I entered my room did it start to go bad, everwhere else was good up until that point. Do you think that it was the room or that anywhere at that point would've been bad.

Also, what I find perplexing is that I had the strong urge to strip about an hour into it (which I did cuz I just went with it) idk perhaps reverting to a fetal state?


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Edited by learningtofly (09/22/07 10:21 AM)


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OfflineIgnatiusJReilly
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: learningtofly]
    #7439978 - 09/22/07 10:25 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

sounds about right. i suggest taking a dildo in the ass and calling me in two weeks.

but seriously, it sounds like you might have gotten whatever you needed. i still trip infrequently, and the goblins and demons and cancerous growths and deformed disgusting- people-visions are just part of the territory. mostly i find these visions depressing and exhausting--i've never found myself in the position where i thought it was necessary to lash out at them, or try and make them go away. i just accept the exhaustion and despair and fear as the consequence of tripping in a fucked up world and living a non-exemplary life of vice and willful ignorance. but what's so wrong about that?
every crystal vision
has its shadow, and
every romp in the park
has its puddle of mud
or twisted ankle.

don't expect to go through life unscathed.


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"A Bad Day for Pants"


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: IgnatiusJReilly]
    #7440003 - 09/22/07 10:35 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

I didn't feel the need to lash out at the dead things because I still had a shred of sanity which told me that they weren't real. I lashed out because I had convinced myself I didn't exist and that I was permenantly insane. Because I couldn't remember/think of anything about myself and even if I did some odd logic told me that it wasn't true.


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Offlineskunkape
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: IgnatiusJReilly]
    #7440008 - 09/22/07 10:37 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

I bet that your trip would have gone bad no matter where you were. and I also took my clothes off when I was going through my bad trip, but I think I did this because I was sweating profusely. I was freakin out so bad that I worked myself into a sweat. I was also thinking in loops...where you think one thing over and over and over and over. did that happen to you?


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_______________________________________________________


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: skunkape]
    #7440037 - 09/22/07 10:44 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

I just took my clothes off randomly (I didn't feel the need I just all the sudden did it)

But I was totally thinking in loops, even though I tried so hard to get out of it and finish my thought. Basically I would start to think something and instead of finishing it through I got stuck on one meaningless part (Which contributed to me thinking I was crazy)


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OfflineMorphMan
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: learningtofly]
    #7440111 - 09/22/07 11:12 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

The only thing I could really tell you is to try not to be scared of being afraid. The mushroom experience can be terrifying but you must learn not to fear the actual fear itself. I hope this makes sense. What I'm saying is that it's natural to be afraid when venturing into uncharted territory. I'd be willing to bet you learned a lot more about yourself than you realize. Try to probe your mind, probe the lines of thought that led you to the experience you had. Question everything about and around the experience. Do you think you're the same exact person that you were before the experience?


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: MorphMan]
    #7440156 - 09/22/07 11:21 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

i'm not sure, i mean I didn't think any differently except when I thought I was crazy. I was so wrapped up in the fear but, I guess now I know that it isn't real and whatever happens is just in my head.

this was like a preview of things to come, it showed me the potential of imagination on opposite spectrums (good and evil). It wasn't the visions that scared me so much as my thoughts

But I don't think I learned anything about myself, nor am I any different now. But perhaps its too soon to tell, I mean it just ended very early this morning. But I am glad I had it and wouldn't trade it for a "good" trip.


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: learningtofly]
    #7440166 - 09/22/07 11:24 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Oh I forgot to mention something about when it started going bad, The music I had on got slower and slower and slower until it stopped and I couldn't hear it anymore.


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InvisibleTripityDooDaDay
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: learningtofly]
    #7440226 - 09/22/07 11:41 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

That all sounds just like my trips when I do an eighth too. Try a lower dose next time. 2 grams on average is all fun to me but as I go higher the fun gives way to mind fuck.


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InvisibleSophistic Radiance
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: learningtofly]
    #7440231 - 09/22/07 11:43 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

When you're tripping, your thoughts become like a vine, or a mold... they find a subject that seems suitable, then they wrap themselves around it, analyzing it from every possible perspective, dominating your entire worldview. Depending on the state of your psyche when you begin the trip, this can be good or bad. Certain things deserve to be strangled by your thoughts. Other things don't, and that's how confusing trips often start.

Sorry to hear your first trip went into a hole, though I'm glad to hear this hasn't scared you off entirely. Next time, try changing something in your set or setting; or try reading major amounts of something inspiring/uplifting in the days before the trip. Being armed with certain knowledge, fresh in your mind, of the beauty of life will likely help guide your trip down the right path. Remind yourself that YOU ARE ALIVE, and life is the most precious and rare gift in this universe.


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Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.



Edited by Tchan909 (09/22/07 11:55 AM)


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: TripityDooDaDay]
    #7440239 - 09/22/07 11:45 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Do you think that if I was with someone they could have calmed me down or would they just seem foreign and bad?

I'm really trying hard to figure out why it went so bad, this is frustrating. I went from wow this is the coolest thing ever I get to experience this for hours to the complete opposite.


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InvisibleSophistic Radiance
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: learningtofly]
    #7440285 - 09/22/07 11:57 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

It might help, depending on the friend. If you're 100% sure that you trust them implicitly, would tell them anything about yourself, then you have nothing to fear. Otherwise, the unknown can be scary.

Also, you should try lowering your dosage. I remember you talked about downing an 8th last night. An 8th isn't a heroic dose per se, but it is quite high and can catch you off guard (especially as a first-timer). This has happened to me several times. If you had half that amount, you'd still have a perfectly mind-expanding, visual trip, but you'd stay closer to the ground and have more control over direction. That's my best tip.


--------------------
Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.



Edited by Tchan909 (09/22/07 12:09 PM)


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InvisibleTripityDooDaDay
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #7440321 - 09/22/07 12:08 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Also, another thing nobody has mentioned: you should try lowering your dosage.




Actually I did. Right before your previous post. :smile:


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InvisibleSophistic Radiance
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Re: Alright! Had my first mushroom trip last night/this morning... Started off happy ended up insane [Re: TripityDooDaDay]
    #7440329 - 09/22/07 12:10 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Aha, so you did.


--------------------
Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.



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