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Invisiblesui
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Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 32,534
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co. Flag
Video of a new song im writing.
    #7434713 - 09/20/07 11:00 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

So ive been working on this song for about a month. The video is just a rough version i made at a park on a whim.

Its about Cannabis prohibition.





Constructive critisism wanted.:yesnod:


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix


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OfflineLily_Morgan
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Registered: 07/05/06
Posts: 437
Loc: Eastern Shore
Last seen: 16 years, 5 months
Re: Video of a new song im writing. [Re: sui]
    #7434724 - 09/20/07 11:06 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

It was good, but in truth, couldn't hurt for it to be a little shorter. I had trouble with it being so long I was ready for the next song about halfway through.

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Invisiblesui
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Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 32,534
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Re: Video of a new song im writing. [Re: Lily_Morgan]
    #7434728 - 09/20/07 11:08 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

Ill keep that in mind. :thumbup:


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix


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OfflineToddo
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Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 4,152
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
Re: Video of a new song im writing. [Re: sui]
    #7434809 - 09/20/07 11:29 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

Not really sure what you are looking for as far as constructive criticism.  I guess I'll just put out my opinion.  I would slow down just a little. Your voice was also really hard to make out.  (maybe its just the audio quality?)  I couldn't understand what you were saying. 

Good job.  Always enjoy videos of you guys playing your instruments.  :smile:


--------------------
Shroomery Composition Contest

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Invisiblesui
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Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 32,534
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co. Flag
Re: Video of a new song im writing. [Re: Toddo]
    #7434818 - 09/20/07 11:32 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

pretty much that. :thumbup:

yeah i gotta work on projection. Ive really only started to sing in the last few months. I still suck. Ill get better though.


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix


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Invisiblesui
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Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 32,534
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co. Flag
Re: Video of a new song im writing. [Re: sui]
    #7434842 - 09/20/07 11:42 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

heres the lyrics:

Mary
by suimush

mary
was a girl you see
dyed her hair green
for the world to see

hoops in her eyes
and a bar in her nose
peace sign earings
and thrift store clothes

*

mary
i dont believe
mary
i dont believe

*

dont judge a book by
the cover you see
theres so much more man
underneath

mis-information
and propaganda
swaying the masses
a hidden agenda

*

mary
i dont believe
mary
i dont believe

*

Mary
was a girl you know
a blanket of lies
from head to toe

they called he a whore
anslinger and more
but i dont believe
i know what i see

taxing our minds
while stamping the wine
money for crime
it crosses the line


solo


If you see
mary
walking along
the city street

just smile and wave
and google her name
live and let live
420 07


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix


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InvisibleAlion
Male


Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 462
Re: Video of a new song im writing. [Re: sui]
    #7434868 - 09/20/07 11:53 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

i followed along with the lyrics and it was really good.

Edited by Alion (09/21/07 12:12 AM)

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InvisiblePsilobuds



Registered: 03/23/07
Posts: 1,775
Loc: Flag
Re: Video of a new song im writing. [Re: Alion]
    #7435075 - 09/21/07 01:04 AM (16 years, 6 months ago)

sounds good man, keep playing music !

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