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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Video of a new song im writing.
#7434713 - 09/20/07 11:00 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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So ive been working on this song for about a month. The video is just a rough version i made at a park on a whim.
Its about Cannabis prohibition.
Constructive critisism wanted.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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Lily_Morgan
I'm #1 !!

Registered: 07/05/06
Posts: 437
Loc: Eastern Shore
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
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Re: Video of a new song im writing. [Re: sui]
#7434724 - 09/20/07 11:06 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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It was good, but in truth, couldn't hurt for it to be a little shorter. I had trouble with it being so long I was ready for the next song about halfway through.
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Re: Video of a new song im writing. [Re: Lily_Morgan]
#7434728 - 09/20/07 11:08 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Ill keep that in mind.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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Toddo
Stranger



Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 4,152
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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Re: Video of a new song im writing. [Re: sui]
#7434809 - 09/20/07 11:29 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Not really sure what you are looking for as far as constructive criticism. I guess I'll just put out my opinion. I would slow down just a little. Your voice was also really hard to make out. (maybe its just the audio quality?) I couldn't understand what you were saying.
Good job. Always enjoy videos of you guys playing your instruments.
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Re: Video of a new song im writing. [Re: Toddo]
#7434818 - 09/20/07 11:32 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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pretty much that. 
yeah i gotta work on projection. Ive really only started to sing in the last few months. I still suck. Ill get better though.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Re: Video of a new song im writing. [Re: sui]
#7434842 - 09/20/07 11:42 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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heres the lyrics:
Mary by suimush
mary was a girl you see dyed her hair green for the world to see
hoops in her eyes and a bar in her nose peace sign earings and thrift store clothes
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mary i dont believe mary i dont believe
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dont judge a book by the cover you see theres so much more man underneath
mis-information and propaganda swaying the masses a hidden agenda
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mary i dont believe mary i dont believe
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Mary was a girl you know a blanket of lies from head to toe
they called he a whore anslinger and more but i dont believe i know what i see
taxing our minds while stamping the wine money for crime it crosses the line
solo
If you see mary walking along the city street
just smile and wave and google her name live and let live 420 07
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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Alion



Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 462
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Re: Video of a new song im writing. [Re: sui]
#7434868 - 09/20/07 11:53 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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i followed along with the lyrics and it was really good.
Edited by Alion (09/21/07 12:12 AM)
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Psilobuds
₪


Registered: 03/23/07
Posts: 1,775
Loc:
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Re: Video of a new song im writing. [Re: Alion]
#7435075 - 09/21/07 01:04 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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sounds good man, keep playing music !
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