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redpoppy
Stranger
Registered: 02/06/07
Posts: 282
Last seen: 12 years, 4 days
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: MauiGanjaMonster]
#7422416 - 09/18/07 04:27 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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I think the second post says it all but I'd like to add that it depends on her reasons and it seems liek she has none other than the legality of things.
I worry about ANYONE who does not have their own sense of morality beyond their religion and law of their country.
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SmellyMushroom
Top Hat Mushroom


Registered: 02/15/07
Posts: 463
Last seen: 11 years, 5 days
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: redpoppy]
#7422427 - 09/18/07 04:34 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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If she's trying to change you in the first place, she's not the one.
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implee
Cyber Hippie


Registered: 07/27/06
Posts: 5,833
Loc: Houston, Texas.
Last seen: 5 months, 19 days
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: SmellyMushroom]
#7422436 - 09/18/07 04:40 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Pussy<- ->Drugs
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PinballWizard
Naive and Gullible as usual

Registered: 03/20/04
Posts: 2,804
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: krypto2000]
#7423114 - 09/18/07 10:55 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Maybe she doesn't want to build a relationship with someone who could end up spending years in jail.
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XZzyXyzZX
dreamer


Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 8
Last seen: 16 years, 4 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: PinballWizard]
#7423294 - 09/18/07 11:35 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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its really hard to say which one is right for you. most people on this site, including myself, love mushrooms and realize them for what they are. however you have to be realistic and understand that mushrooms are not very socially acceptable anymore. most people will turn away from shrooms simply out of ignorance and its sad, but true. you dont want to miss the girl of your dreams because she doesnt understand.
now weather or not this girl is worth it or not is up to you. but i would say if you really like her, and you realy think it would work, take a break from the shrooms for now and go after her. then later on in the realationship hopefully you can help her understand mushrooms and she will respect your decision to do them or not. remember mushrooms will always be here and always available, she might not be.
-------------------- funny how life works out huh
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McKennaRules
Stranger
Registered: 04/01/07
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Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: XZzyXyzZX]
#7423587 - 09/18/07 12:45 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Drugs before Hos.
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redpoppy
Stranger
Registered: 02/06/07
Posts: 282
Last seen: 12 years, 4 days
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: McKennaRules]
#7423833 - 09/18/07 01:42 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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hmmm...
if you were doing an addictive or purely fun drug i'd maybe give teh same advice that XZzyXyzZX just has but otherwise it just doesn't make sense.
IMO its better to find someone open minded enough who understands and is educated abotu drugs but doesn't use them and never will but doesn't mind you doign them than someone who thinks they may like you but decides they dont' because you do drugs.
Problem with psychedelics is that they do play quite a significant part of who you are or have become for many people.
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EllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: krypto2000]
#7423881 - 09/18/07 01:55 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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It's obvious from your post that psychedelics have taught you a lot, and you yourself accept that you're far from getting everything you can out of the psychedelic experience. If the girl wants you to give this up based on her irrational and socially conditioned idea that "drugs are bad", doing it is not the right choice.
It would be understandable if your use of drugs was abusive and harmful, either to yourself or others around you (namely, her), and her asking you to moderate your drug use if it were excessive would be totally reasonable. However, her asking you to give up drugs simply because she dosen't like them and fails to see the innumerable benefits these chemicals can provide one with, is not reasonable.
Put in your situation, I would choose the drugs over the girl. Much as it sounds like the crack head's choice when it's phrased like that, I would prefer to hold on to these tools that can provide me with inner peace, knowledge and connection to the infinite than give in to the whims of an apparently rather ignorant (at least with respect to psychedelics- I'm sure she's intelligent and interesting or the choice would be a no brainer) girl.
In my firm opinion, choosing to give up something which has significantly benefitted your life in hopes of starting a relationship with a girl you may not even end up with at all is not an intelligent choice. It all depends on internal factors, however. Noone can tell you what to do.
Think carefully and decide not only which choice you want to make now, but whether or not you should be changing your lifestyle to please a girl in the first place. Good luck whichever way you go. In the end, you just have to firmly make up your mind about which choice is better for you, then forget about what everyone has told you and just do it.
-------------------- Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.
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headofmike
trich. farmer


Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 374
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: redpoppy]
#7423896 - 09/18/07 02:01 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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This is a drug forum. So duh. DO DRUGGGSSS!!!! That was joke
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krypto2000
Unknown


Registered: 12/05/06
Posts: 11,579
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: headofmike]
#7424058 - 09/18/07 02:38 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Well I actually believe I've made up my mind. I just got home from work and I've been thinking hard about it all day and I feel very clear in my decision which is to give up drugs.
Maybe I didn't explain in my original post clearly enough but some of you seem to have missed the point that we are not together. She has absolutely no obligation to me. She just entered back into my life a few weeks ago, and we are currently just friends. She is fine with being friends with me, and she has no qualms with me doing drugs as her friend. I would normally agree that I should not change who I am, but like a few have said I have gained a lot from psychedelics and although I'm sure there is more I can gain, there is no more I feel I need to gain. I have never been truly happy with who I was as a person until these past few months. If I were to quit now forever I think I would be truly content with what I have gotten out of it.
So like I was saying, as she has no obligation towards me at all. I don't feel I should have any reason to expect her to change for me. I'm the one who wants to be with her after all, so the only thing I can do is control my actions and if quiting drugs will help me get closer to her then I feel that is the best choice for me. Drugs do not define who I am, I am me whether I do drugs or not. I also meditate daily so I feel that I am not at a total loss here, I can always rely on that as well.
Although I've pretty much made up my mind on this matter I would still like to hear any opinions that feel my logic is flawed here, and I will try and listen with an open mind. As well, thank you to all of you who have given your thoughts so far.
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blacksun



Registered: 09/02/06
Posts: 1,390
Loc: United Kingdom
Last seen: 10 years, 6 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: krypto2000]
#7424232 - 09/18/07 03:19 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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There are three kinds of people,
those who try a drug once those who experiment with drugs for a while and stop and those who carry on doing them till the end.
Seems like your in camp #2 I was in the same situation as you, and when i met this girl again she was told lots and lots about me being a "drug addict" even though that was not the case. In the end it didnt work out because she had changed alot.
How about... take a break from psychedelics, see if anything comes to fruition with this relationship, and go from there?
-------------------- uarewotueat - "Libs are messy as hell, I don't know whether to take a shit or get a haircut when I'm on them!"
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redpoppy
Stranger
Registered: 02/06/07
Posts: 282
Last seen: 12 years, 4 days
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: krypto2000]
#7424351 - 09/18/07 03:47 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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I like the way you've expressed yourself and despite my insistence that you choose the drugs (hahaha!) I think you should go with what you feel is best.
Just remember not to lose your opinions in any case. DOn't start thinking drugs are bad just because you've stopped taking them etc.:)
No one should be dependent on anything ideally and in teh least IMO we should learn to connect and depend on each other. SO if you are choosing the girl then maybe its teh right decision.
Also I don't THINK anyone missed the point that you're not together as far as I think. You made that clear in your first post.
The only flaw in your logic is "I don't feel I should have any reason to expect her to change for me. I'm the one who wants to be with her after all" which seems to suggest that BECAUSE you like her YOU shoudl be teh one who changes to adapt to suit her.
Whereas both teh second post and the post by EllisDSox seem to indicate that a relationship shouldn't being about fitting to someone elses standards but about finding the right fit.
I agree with this. and think that when two people find a connection and an attraction which is strong it SHOULD make them better people when they progress into a relationship.
It should challenge some of their bad preconceptions and also help them grow as individuals. They should also learn from each other. I think people just simply become better people when they're with the right person.
There's just a part of me that feels thatthis girl isn't open minded or free thinkig and also thats she may not really be into you as much as you are into her. BUt hey, if she's amazing then she's probably worth it.
Good luck!
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blacksun



Registered: 09/02/06
Posts: 1,390
Loc: United Kingdom
Last seen: 10 years, 6 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: redpoppy]
#7424363 - 09/18/07 03:50 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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What redpoppy said is pretty much spot on.
Shrooms for you
-------------------- uarewotueat - "Libs are messy as hell, I don't know whether to take a shit or get a haircut when I'm on them!"
Edited by blacksun (09/18/07 03:51 PM)
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krypto2000
Unknown


Registered: 12/05/06
Posts: 11,579
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: redpoppy]
#7424413 - 09/18/07 04:07 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Whereas both teh second post and the post by EllisDSox seem to indicate that a relationship shouldn't being about fitting to someone elses standards but about finding the right fit.
I agree with this. and think that when two people find a connection and an attraction which is strong it SHOULD make them better people when they progress into a relationship.
I would have to say I agree with your post completely. I connect with her on almost every other level besides drug use. Ideally yes it would be best to maybe wait for someone who I can agree with on everything, but I think that is a rare occurance and I would be more than happy to be with this girl.
Quote:
There's just a part of me that feels thatthis girl isn't open minded or free thinkig and also thats she may not really be into you as much as you are into her. BUt hey, if she's amazing then she's probably worth it.
I don't think she likes me at all. She has said as much yesterday when I asked her, but she has loved me before so I feel that any chance of it returning is worth it in my mind, I can always go back to drugs if things do not work out.
Quote:
The only flaw in your logic is "I don't feel I should have any reason to expect her to change for me. I'm the one who wants to be with her after all" which seems to suggest that BECAUSE you like her YOU shoudl be teh one who changes to adapt to suit her.
I see it as I have a choice of drugs or her, and it's up to me to decide which has a stronger value in my life. Regardless as to what I choose I will not be changing who I am, just the things that surround me as neither of these define me as a person. My values and ideals will remain untouched. I feel maybe that better conveys my original meaning but if not then maybe you're right and my logic is flawed?
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fantasylndvictm
yup



Registered: 03/19/07
Posts: 2,388
Loc: usa
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: dr_asterisk]
#7424449 - 09/18/07 04:22 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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I love ur avatar
-------------------- "How do we know whether the life of any creature has fulfilled its destiny? I have known the very old to die in bitterness and despair. I have seen young children die before their time but leave behind such a legacy of love and joy that grief for their passing was tempered by the knowledge that their brief lives had given much to others." "You have answered your own question,Tanis Half-Elven, far better than I could," the Forestmaster said gravely. "Say that that our lives are measured not by gain but by giving." -Dragonlance "Dragons of Autumn Twilight" If we lived in luxury we would grow soft. No human being truely knows their full capacity to love until they become a parent.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,532
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: krypto2000]
#7424453 - 09/18/07 04:23 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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many marriages don't last. many pot relationships fade away too. drug testing is rampant in corporate america, so if the girl says no to weed, and if you already learned a lot, and if you have a decent time together , and if your crazinesses mesh (really important) then you are ready to chose the girl over the pot. to live a bit cleaner - work in a more stable environment... to move on. well maybe occasionally you may come accross a healing mushroom don't raise that issue, it's not drugs, it's medicine. leave the negotiation at the pot and leave the pot in the past. it will be great for both of you if you do shroom from time to time or equivalent, but you don't need to have weed and all the social context that weed culture decides for you. make your own decisions.
--------------------
_ 🧠_
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ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 15 hours, 35 minutes
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: redgreenvines]
#7424505 - 09/18/07 04:39 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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the chick im in a long relationship with doesnt mind mushrooms at all because i have been able to display to her that they are perfectly natural, and dont harm your body in any substantial ways with moderate use, and contain the fucking great experieces that they inhibit, but on the other hand she doesnt accept my use of marijuana and her argument is simply for the fact that marijuana gets me in trouble.(since i did just, six months ago get arrested for it with happened right in front of her... i was goin fucking nuts) and doesnt really get me anywhere in life i.e. doesnt do anything that great for me. but... just the fact you had to write this thread shows that the choice should most obviously be drugs.
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
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ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 15 hours, 35 minutes
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: xFrockx]
#7424524 - 09/18/07 04:44 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
xFrockx said: Some girls are worth quitting drugs for, but the ones who won't listen to a rational argument or understand why you do them are not.
^^this should have been the end of this thread
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
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redpoppy
Stranger
Registered: 02/06/07
Posts: 282
Last seen: 12 years, 4 days
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: krypto2000]
#7424735 - 09/18/07 05:19 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
krypto2000 said: I would have to say I agree with your post completely. I connect with her on almost every other level besides drug use. Ideally yes it would be best to maybe wait for someone who I can agree with on everything, but I think that is a rare occurance and I would be more than happy to be with this girl.
I don't think she likes me at all. She has said as much yesterday when I asked her, but she has loved me before so I feel that any chance of it returning is worth it in my mind, I can always go back to drugs if things do not work out.
I see it as I have a choice of drugs or her, and it's up to me to decide which has a stronger value in my life. Regardless as to what I choose I will not be changing who I am, just the things that surround me as neither of these define me as a person. My values and ideals will remain untouched. I feel maybe that better conveys my original meaning but if not then maybe you're right and my logic is flawed?
In that case I agree with your wanting to be with here if you gel on EVERYTHING except drugs.
I imagine about six or seven years ago I could have been in such a place. I kinda just gave up experimenting with drugs but it all came back to me. Now I'm lucky enough to have drugs and what I consider a soulmate who happens to be quite fit But if i had to give up drugs for him I'd do it in a ... well maybe not in a second... but perhaps like three seconds.
but if i were single now and some random guy came along and said "its teh drugs or me" i'd be all "hell no! I love lucy!" 
But the only problem thats left is that this girl isn't into you...
However there's loads of successful relationships which are born of such situations.

Go get her! heh heh. As I said before, good luck!
And not meaning to soudn EXTREMELY cheesy love is a drug that can be teh most beneficial. HOwever it can also be teh most damaging. Sorry that sounded disgustingly cliched and crappy but ... yeah.. sorry.
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enygma
wild rover


Registered: 02/22/07
Posts: 132
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: krypto2000]
#7424796 - 09/18/07 05:33 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
krypto2000 said: Well I actually believe I've made up my mind. I just got home from work and I've been thinking hard about it all day and I feel very clear in my decision which is to give up drugs.
Maybe I didn't explain in my original post clearly enough but some of you seem to have missed the point that we are not together. She has absolutely no obligation to me. She just entered back into my life a few weeks ago, and we are currently just friends. She is fine with being friends with me, and she has no qualms with me doing drugs as her friend. I would normally agree that I should not change who I am, but like a few have said I have gained a lot from psychedelics and although I'm sure there is more I can gain, there is no more I feel I need to gain. I have never been truly happy with who I was as a person until these past few months. If I were to quit now forever I think I would be truly content with what I have gotten out of it.
So like I was saying, as she has no obligation towards me at all. I don't feel I should have any reason to expect her to change for me. I'm the one who wants to be with her after all, so the only thing I can do is control my actions and if quiting drugs will help me get closer to her then I feel that is the best choice for me. Drugs do not define who I am, I am me whether I do drugs or not. I also meditate daily so I feel that I am not at a total loss here, I can always rely on that as well.
Although I've pretty much made up my mind on this matter I would still like to hear any opinions that feel my logic is flawed here, and I will try and listen with an open mind. As well, thank you to all of you who have given your thoughts so far.
you're setting up a VERY dangerous power dynamic here. basically you're forming this entire fucking concept of a relationship upon the idea that she is better than you and a prize to be won. a healthy and lasting relationship cannot begin in this manner. you're setting yourself up for a dynamic that revolves around her doling out her "love" (it won't really be love) contingent upon you fulfilling various tasks. a healthy relationship needs to be a process of give and take equally in all respects.
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