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krypto2000
Unknown


Registered: 12/05/06
Posts: 11,579
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Drugs or a girl, which would you choose?
#7421503 - 09/17/07 09:18 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Hey guys, I have been seeing this girl on and off for a couple of years. We dated for awhile and then we just would see each other for short periods of time over the course of 2 years following that, but we haven't gotten back together since. I would say it's not worked out in the past because of faults on both of our ends. I for one was not by any means a very stable person, I used to be very depressed and had issues with anxiety.
I have done a lot of personal growth since I have started using psychedelics about a year ago and would say I have finally reached a point where I am content and truly happy with who I am as a person and have control over my emotions. This is not to say I have gotten all I can out of psychedelics, not by any means. It's merely to say that I feel up until these past months I feel I was not capable of being in a truly healthy relationship because of personal reasons. I felt I needed a girl friend, and I could not support myself without one.
So in light of all of this, this girl has yet once again entered my life. At the moment she says she doesn't like me, and things are a bit fucked up in her life at the moment, though I would say that they are in accord with the average person. All in all, I think given the chance things would work out between us.
The problem with all of this is she is anti-drug. She drinks alcohol and admits it is bad for you, much more so than pot or psychedelics, but she still does not like them. My belief is that it's probably just a built up aversion that was conditioned in her from all of the negativity on 'drugs' from the media, schools, parents etc.
So I'm now faced with the delima of what I should do. I am probably going to quit pot for personal reasons and her presence only makes that decision easier for me to burden. However psychedelics are another issue, and I'm having trouble on what to do on this matter and that is why I'm asking for advice. In the end it is a personal choice and only I can decide, but any help you guys could give I would greatly appreciate.
The way I look at it is I can quit and greatly increase my chances with her, as well as show her what I'm willing to do for her, but on the other hand I don't feel that people should change for anyone else; that they should be themselves. However, when emotions are involved this is not such an easy choice, specially when considering psychedelics. I'm currently not depressed about the issue at all and I feel I have a grasp on my emotions still, yet I don't want to use psychedelics until I get this issue resolved as I do not know where they may take me.
I have already talked to her about this and I do not want to press the issue anymore, it is a choice I have to make, and I don't feel I can or should try to change her opinion at this time. She has just entered back into my life again so I do not hold enough value in her heart to expect that much of her. If I were to try and oppose her at this point it would only push her away. She has just gotten out of a relationship too, so I'm just trying to let her do her own thing and get on stable ground again and just be her friend for the time being. She has always had feelings for me on and off, and even said a couple of weeks ago she felt something for me still but once she heard about my drug use they quickly went away. I feel if I were to show her I can change in a few months time maybe things will settle down and we could get back together, but is it really worth it? I can't decide.
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enygma
wild rover


Registered: 02/22/07
Posts: 132
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: krypto2000]
#7421539 - 09/17/07 09:31 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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never consciously change yourself for a girl. the point of dating is to find someone who complements who you are, not to change yourself so that you complement someone else.
however, at least she doesn't appear to be saying "choose the lsd or me" so i don't have to say dump her. be yourself, and let the relationship take its course. don't quit anything for her, but don't try to press your lifestyle on her either. make sure she understands your choices and that she doesn't have to make the same choices in her life, but she has to respect that it's your choice to make. if she can't accept you for who you are, then you're wasting your time anyway.
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dr_asterisk
Simplton



Registered: 06/22/07
Posts: 155
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: krypto2000]
#7421561 - 09/17/07 09:38 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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-------------------- New Ubuntu logo!
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xFrockx



Registered: 09/17/06
Posts: 10,455
Loc: Northeast
Last seen: 11 days, 11 hours
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: enygma]
#7421564 - 09/17/07 09:39 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Some girls are worth quitting drugs for, but the ones who won't listen to a rational argument or understand why you do them are not.
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Puck
Stranger



Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 55
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: xFrockx]
#7421575 - 09/17/07 09:43 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Do not change who you are or what you do for a girl otherwise the relationship will not work.
-------------------- “Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.”-Bill Hicks
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gmuralid
Holy Cow


Registered: 08/05/07
Posts: 405
Loc: India
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: enygma]
#7421591 - 09/17/07 09:50 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
enygma said: never consciously change yourself for a girl. the point of dating is to find someone who complements who you are, not to change yourself so that you complement someone else.
however, at least she doesn't appear to be saying "choose the lsd or me"....
...make sure she understands your choices and that she doesn't have to make the same choices in her life, but she has to respect that it's your choice to make. if she can't accept you for who you are, then you're wasting your time anyway.
Agreed.
First, I think shes not saying it out loud, but I think she basically is saying its a choice between the two.
In this case, I would say you need to make it very clear that you cannot choose between the two. You have feelings for her, but also feel that you can find some understanding and growth from using these substances.
If she doesnt understand this, then its very possible that this will cause a conflict and even though she may accept it conditionally now, it is also very possible that this will become an issue in the future.
I know many women that have accepted friends of mine like this, and then held their expectations for them to change for many years, and then after like 3-4 years have started pushing their anti-drug agenda on them, causing huge rifts and heartache.
Im not saying this will be the case, but its good to be aware that these situations with unsaid expectations do occur (somewhat frequently).
I guess I cant tell you either way how I feel, my gf is pretty much anti-drug having never done any in her life except drinking once in a while, but in the 10 years we have been going out, she has seen the changes and growth in me from using mushrooms, so she is ok with them, since I only have ever dosed like once in 3-4 months anyway.
Good luck figuring this one out.But if it were me, I would choose the drug.
-------------------- Wilderness. It defines me.
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Acyl
cyanidepoisoning


Registered: 12/13/05
Posts: 4,472
Loc: N.W.T.
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: krypto2000]
#7421604 - 09/17/07 09:56 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Id probably go with the drugs also.
But you probably wont even have to make that decision...
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1 ,2
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dirtworshipper
Sitting in the heart cave



Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 2,060
Loc: at The Guru's lotus feet
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: krypto2000]
#7421618 - 09/17/07 10:00 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Should she even ask you to stop using lsd? not that she's blatantly laying down the ultimatum anyway, but still...
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“You've got as many lives as you like, and more, even ones you don't want.” - George Harrison
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Yosefxp
HarmReductionist




Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 148
Loc: Hamilton, New Zealand
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: dirtworshipper]
#7421676 - 09/17/07 10:12 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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I think that relationships are doomed to failure if people change themselves too much and hide parts of themselves just to make the relationship work.
You have to look at your drug use and try to decide whether or not you would still be you without them. If you think you would, then the relationship should be fine.
However you seem to be very sure of yourself and who you are so even if you did stop doing drugs; having that self assurance would mean that no matter who you became, it would still be truly you.
I think a lot of people try to change into someone they think they should be and when you get into a relationship as this other person it's doomed.
Just be sure of who you are and if you feel confident that stopping using drugs is the right thing to do because you want this relationship to work then do it. We all have to make sacrifices, and as long as we KNOW we are making the right choice then everything will work out fine.
-------------------- Well it's alright riding around in the breeze Well it's alright if you live the life you please Well it's alright doing the best you can Well it's alright as long as you lend a hand
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jenns_hot
Hungry



Registered: 12/30/06
Posts: 3,459
Loc: East Coast
Last seen: 2 years, 21 days
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: Yosefxp]
#7421679 - 09/17/07 10:12 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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i feel bad for those of you who say drugs.
-------------------- "Fear makes the wolf look bigger"
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enygma
wild rover


Registered: 02/22/07
Posts: 132
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: xFrockx]
#7421680 - 09/17/07 10:13 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
xFrockx said: Some girls are worth quitting drugs for, but the ones who won't listen to a rational argument or understand why you do them are not.
really it's quite a catch 22. some girls are worth quitting drugs for, but none of those actually worth quitting for will actually require you to do it (provided you're using them responsibly, of course).
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gmuralid
Holy Cow


Registered: 08/05/07
Posts: 405
Loc: India
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: jenns_hot]
#7421697 - 09/17/07 10:16 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
jenns_hot said: i feel bad for those of you who say drugs.
Why, may I ask?
-------------------- Wilderness. It defines me.
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enygma
wild rover


Registered: 02/22/07
Posts: 132
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: jenns_hot]
#7421704 - 09/17/07 10:18 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
jenns_hot said: i feel bad for those of you who say drugs.
i feel bad for people who are so insecure and self-conscious that they have to deny who they are just to get laid. and don't fool yourself that it's love if you're denying who you are for a girl, love is loving a person for who they are, not who they've become now that you're letting them sleep with you.
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Killer Sausage
Stranger



Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 99
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: enygma]
#7421706 - 09/17/07 10:19 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Girls are what men are meant for. I'd choose women over weed and all other pleasures in life, but like everyone else said before, the right girl would be the kind of girl who's understandin with all you do, and even if she doesn't like it, she will at least let you explain yourself / keep an open mind. All I can say is explain yourself to her - afterall, she does drink, so I don't see why she would not wanna be with you for merely doin psychedelics. And a girl doesn't have to love EVERYTHIN you do to be the right one.
-------------------- CHECKLIST: *cannabis, psilocybe, fly agaric, salvia, LSD, mescaline, AMT, LSA, 5meo-DMT, DMT. (* = done it) Sebastian23 on extractin THC from urine: "I doubt it, and in any way that could be worth extracting trace chemicals from hella urine samples. Thats like using recycled human shit to feed humans. It's just a bad idea." LOL!!!
Edited by Killer Sausage (09/17/07 10:21 PM)
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yageman
already dead


Registered: 01/26/06
Posts: 4,965
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: enygma]
#7421715 - 09/17/07 10:21 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
enygma said:
Quote:
xFrockx said: Some girls are worth quitting drugs for, but the ones who won't listen to a rational argument or understand why you do them are not.
really it's quite a catch 22. some girls are worth quitting drugs for, but none of those actually worth quitting for will actually require you to do it (provided you're using them responsibly, of course).
Thats right. Sucks for those who arent good at communicating and opening themselves up to the other.
Kids will be kids. Even if they are 30 years old.
-------------------- [quote]Me_Roy said: You moron. Material is material is material. No 'thing' fixes any situation. If anything were so simple we would be living in a much better world.[/quote] <-----the dumbest thing I have ever read in my life. Thanks shroomery.
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gmuralid
Holy Cow


Registered: 08/05/07
Posts: 405
Loc: India
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: enygma]
#7421717 - 09/17/07 10:21 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
enygma said: really it's quite a catch 22. some girls are worth quitting drugs for, but none of those actually worth quitting for will actually require you to do it (provided you're using them responsibly, of course).
Wholeheartedly agree with that one, my friend!! Well said. Isnt it amazing how that works? I love women (as opposed to girls)!
-------------------- Wilderness. It defines me.
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yageman
already dead


Registered: 01/26/06
Posts: 4,965
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: yageman]
#7421871 - 09/17/07 10:56 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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If a girl was not interested in my past, which includes lots of psychedelic drugs, then I dont care how she feels. These drugs are part of who I am even though I dont use them anymore. I honestly would prolly fuck her a few times and if she still was not interested/cared about my whole, or acting holier than thou, id just say goodby soon enough.
Everything I have ever experienced with psychedelic drugs has alot to do with people who have never taken them.
Same goes for crazy awsome and psychedelic women looking for an awsome guy to fuck lovingly and share themselves with.
You should never have to choose between a love, and psychedelic drugs. SOme other types of drugs are an issue, and should be. I hope you stay happy around a person that makes you choose. This goes hand in hand with not acknowledging that your past is all you are made of.
It all just seems stupid. Love does not exist without understanding the other person almost in full. Love is also a funny and pliable word. Its just a word.
If you truely know what "care" and "passion" means, this is not much of an issue. It shouldnt be anyways.
70% of people are really fucking stupid. Thats my guess anyways. You could be a brain surgeon and still be a really pathetic and simple idiot. So few people realize this.
Id choose bot the girl and psychedelics if I had to. If not, Id choose the girl for a moment in time. I dont even use these drugs anymore, but if she was not interested in my past and I realized that she didnt care about what my life is made of, I just tell her to get out eventually.
Why are there not many women here? That explains the dynamic a bit.
Its hard. You can settle if you want.
I like sports but im not about to settle for some beautiful tennis player who cant hold a fun conversation and bores me to death and hates all drugs. Thats just not me.
Ya, I have not been layed in 2 years. This subject sort of hits home at this point. I gave up alot in order to "keep it real" yo.
-------------------- [quote]Me_Roy said: You moron. Material is material is material. No 'thing' fixes any situation. If anything were so simple we would be living in a much better world.[/quote] <-----the dumbest thing I have ever read in my life. Thanks shroomery.
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thedudenj
Man of the Woods

Registered: 08/18/04
Posts: 14,684
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: krypto2000]
#7421897 - 09/17/07 11:03 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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you gota be a super team
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  "You all are just puppets... You have no heart...and cannot feel any pain..."" you may think thats pain you feel but you must have a heart to feel true pain and that pain wont be yours
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Hrethic
A Human, Being


Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Passing through the bulk
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: thedudenj]
#7421996 - 09/17/07 11:35 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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i chose drugs instead of the girl. she wasn't going to have sex until she married either though, so it was sort of a no brainer.
yeah fuck that man, if she doesn't do them that's one thing, and respect that. but if she can't respect that you're doing what you want, then leave her by the wayyyy siiiide yeeeah.
-------------------- Will all the big boomers please unveil, please unveil, please unveil.
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MauiGanjaMonster
Herbal Pleasures



Registered: 04/26/06
Posts: 474
Loc: 4 acre pot field
Last seen: 16 years, 2 months
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Re: Drugs or a girl, which would you choose? [Re: Hrethic]
#7422199 - 09/18/07 01:13 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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I am sorry If a girl asked me to stop smoking weed and if I dont shed leave me, Well I'd have to say bye bitch and then puff on my dooby.
There are plenty of fish in the sea man, dont fool your self people who are anti drug dont get the whole picture and are misinformed so if you try to explain things to her and she dosent want to listen, it aint worth it.
Personally I would take LSD over any girl that asked me to stop using, it something I enjoy and its one of my hobbies.
and people who think marijuana is worse than booze got a finger up there ass, you have to be 21 to buy a 6-pack, but only 18 to buy a bong.
and thats from the governments standards.
-------------------- Trodding through creation in a irie meditation. As they walk through my garden and steal my fruit, damn devils in a three piece suit. yeah they walk through my garden and eat my fruit damn puppets, the boys in blue.
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