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Anonymous #1

my "problem"
    #7407125 - 09/14/07 12:07 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

hi. i have this problem i don't feel comfortable discussing with anyone but if i don't come to terms with it i might off myself successfully someday. this anonymous forum is great, i feel i can't talk to anyone in my life about this problem but it is the one that most holds me back.

i've been mulling over some unresolved shit from my teen years. its hard to describe this problem so bear with me. the reason it is so much trouble for me is that my fantasies bring me guilt - what i lust over is not socially acceptable and in my mind is not possible to pursue. see i'm in my mid 20s and my attractions are to guys in their teens. this causes me a ton of guilt and confusion, really sometimes i dont want to live. (read on)

its like im longing for intimate contact, needing to be close and have some mutual relationship more than just friends, but the only target of this acceptable in my mind is one that's not right. when i see people in that target range (high-school age guys) i feel like i'm needing to be valued by them, like it fucking matters. i guess the part that disturbs me is when they are attractive, cause then its like my interests are peaked and i wish that somehow something would happen and we'd end up hooking up. it's like i would get pleasure giving pleasure, but the encounter would be mutual. its like i got this ideal fantasy that will never happen, in my head

but i cannot see myself kissing a man, sodomy disgusts me same with most male-like things like body hair etc. i am not attracted to men, masculine-looking or over 18. i've never acted out on my desires because i could not imagine the guilt, it is already too much for thinking about it. it may have been normal homo feelings back when i was in highschool, i just had never experimented & stayed a virgin.

as i got older my attractions and fantasies were still mostly about younger guys. when i get depressed i think what a fuckin pederast loser i am. but this attraction is not me, i would not want to corrupt someone and when i think about anything homo i get disgusted, i'd never get with some faggot cause they are diseased filth who would want to stick it in my butt. what the fuck do i want anyway? i wouldn't want to take it up the ass. i just fantasize about orally pleasuring young attractive guys sometimes, shit like that. is this just some distorted view i have that will go away when i get some pussy, or will i always struggle and end up like mark foley or some shit

i like girls too but can't deny the fantasies and dreams i have, it's causing me grief, what do i do? when i get depressed i usually get suicidal thoughts, etc, just have not given up yet on resolving this issue, but im wearing thin, i feel tormented, and will continue to self-medicate until i figure this shit out.


Edited by Anonymous (09/07/20 02:40 PM)


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Anonymous #2

Re: my "problem" [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7407134 - 09/14/07 12:11 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

therapy.


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Anonymous #3

Re: my "problem" [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7407154 - 09/14/07 12:17 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

1) find yerself a woman that sympathizes with you
2) go around schools and tell people you're swingers looking for some 'fresh blood'
3) find yerself a virgin that wants to fuck yer girl
4) make sure that he understands that both of you will be fucking her at the same time
5) and then, while it's going on, have her suggest you blow him (and let her be the one to be the 'bad guy' by saying that noting is going to happen with either one of you until she gets herself all fired up by watching the two of you pleasure eachother)

chances are he'll be too excited about finally getting some, that he'll be willing to jump through a hoop or two to get what he wants

and once you find someone who'll go through with it - you can just take it from there  :yesnod:


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Anonymous #3

Re: my "problem" [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #7407156 - 09/14/07 12:20 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

or...you could always just offer to pay people to take nude photos of them, and then see if you can't talk a blow job into being part of the photo shoot :shrugs:


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Anonymous #4

Re: my "problem" [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #7407537 - 09/14/07 02:58 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

JUst find a 18 year old that looks younger and fuck the shit out of him.


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Anonymous #5

Re: my "problem" [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #7407552 - 09/14/07 03:09 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

mentally and spiritually outrun your "problem"

for instance if i stop and think about it, i really dislike most people, on a second by second basis most people annoy the fuck out of me, and i don't want to associate with almost anyone.

when i feel that feeling creeping up on me, i attempt to put myself back in myself. i can ignore the things i don't like and see the things that interest me in other people, namely knowledge and opportunity.

i'm sure you can extend this to yourself.
if you see a hot boy you want to fuck, decide if you're going to go for it, if you are, do. if you're not, do something else and don't give it a second thought.

the choice is up to you, and both sides are debatable so don't worry that everyone will be against you if you make the "bad" choice, most people will secretly understand.

i think the "good" choice is ultimately easier in the long run, and probably better for you mentally. (refusing to act on your desires to satisfy social norms isn't always a bad thing)


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Anonymous #6

Re: my "problem" [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #7407558 - 09/14/07 03:12 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Are you a male or female?


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Anonymous #7

Re: my "problem" [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #7408407 - 09/14/07 10:13 AM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
JUst find a 18 year old that looks younger and fuck the shit out of him.




That's a pretty good answer to this person's problems.  When I was 18 I looked like I was 14.  :shrug:


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