Well, I have finally found a respectable place and the time to tell my story.
I am an extremely experienced cannabis user, and have been smoking daily for the past 8 years. I am fairly experienced with hallucinogens, and have tripped on mushrooms around 15 times and acid quite a few times.
Recently, I had a very odd trip. I have been told it is possibly because of the interaction with the medicines I'm on, Fluoxitine (sp) and Concerta, but I don't know. I have tripped multiple times before this specific trip while on the same medicines, just a bit of a lesser dose of the pharms. My first trip was incredible, very personal and conceptual and powerful. I did about 3 or 3.5g dried, and it was almost a complete powder, with the occasional cap. The second time I tripped, I had my first bad trip, which was probably my worst trip to date. A quick aside on that one- I ate at least 6g and probably more around 6.5 or 7g of gorgeous caps and massive stalks. I was having an excellent trip with some friends, which fairly rapidly became bad. I remember sitting in my friend’s basement, having some very intense visuals. I was sitting with a wool blanket, and had the strong sense I was a wolf, the last of my species, on the verge of extinction. I stood up and had the blanket fall off me, and felt as though my skin was coming off, my fur rather, not a painful feeling but a completely astonished feeling like I never thought that could happen. From there, I don’t really remember too much. I was apparently running around outside in the nude, with no shoes on in the snow. I had urinated with my pants on, which is probably why I took them off in the first place. I remember coming back and being in a hospital bed, thinking “how the fuck did I get here” Since then, I have tripped at least 10 more times, and all without any bad experiences whatsoever. I accept bad trips as part of the nature of the substance, and something that can be prevented with good vibes and a level mental disposition prior to the trip. Anyway, back to my dilemma.
Recently, I was hiking with some friends three nights after I had just had a very enjoyable trip on only about 1-1.5g of dried mushrooms. Not so much a trip, more of an extended stoned feeling with slight visuals and distortions. While hiking, we had decided to each take about 3 grams dried each of the same mushrooms I had taken a few nights before, since I had an ounce of them anyway. I tossed mine in my herb grinder, ground em up and downed them with some tonic water, which I noticed as being a horrible combination with the taste of mushrooms, but it was all we had for liquid.
I could feel myself coming up around 30 minutes later, and was excited for a nice, strong trip. About 45 minutes into it, I had the strong urge to draw, and I started drawing on a pad I had brought. A few minutes into my drawing, I began feeling anxious and could taste the horrible combination of tonic water and mush powder in my throat. I didn’t have anything else to wash them down with, but more tonic water, and I felt them slowly coming back up, as if I were getting nauseas. I went and lay down, staring at the sky, hoping to alleviate my nausea. The nausea and the anxiety got pretty bad, to the point where I didn’t want to lie down because I was anxious but I didn’t want to get up because I felt like I would throw up. I couldn’t tell you how much longer it was, but I remember leaving my body and walking down a narrow path in the woods. I saw my parents as kids, and they were running from me. I finally caught up with them, and they looked embarrassed. I realized they were smoking weed and I had found them doing that. Later on, I followed this creature down an extremely long mountain path to a road, and he was communicating to me and telling me to trust him. Somewhere in all this, I had the feeling that I was dead, and I saw myself in a hospital bed. I focused all my energy into living, and opened my eyes to my whole family looking at me as if I had been in an accident or had just died and now came back to life. Everything was white and it looked as though I was either being reborn, or in heaven. Sometime after that, I followed a naked girl into the woods and had sex with her, convinced I was the father of the forest and taking an almost divine role. I came back into my consciousness in my room, and eventually threw up probably 3 or 4 hours later.
The two times I mentioned are the only experiences with hallucinogens I have had where I don’t remember parts or the relative sequence of events. I am curious if my medicines could affect that, or if they might have contributed to the anxiety I felt. I’m frustrated with this, because I can’t afford to keep tripping and ending up in completely helpless and vulnerable situations, for my own safety. Also, I would like to be able to use mushrooms as a spiritual practice, and don’t want any pharms to be getting in the way with my experience or altering my true hallucinogenic path.
Any comments, questions, similar experiences, insight, or anything would really be appreciated. I’d like to reach a point where I am as comfortable with hallucinogens as I am with cannabis. I’m just looking for answers. Peace,
Tyler.
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