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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Pitchfork reviews Music, gives it a 6.8 rating [The Onion]
#7391401 - 09/10/07 10:42 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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CHICAGO—Music, a mode of creative expression consisting of sound and silence expressed through time, was given a 6.8 out of 10 rating in an review published Monday on Pitchfork Media, a well-known music-criticism website.
According to the review, authored by Pitchfork editor in chief Ryan Schreiber, the popular medium that predates the written word shows promise but nonetheless "leaves the listener wanting more."
"Music's first offering, an eclectic, disparate, but mostly functional compendium of influences from 5000 B.C. to present day, hints that this trend's time may not only have fully arrived, but is already on the wane," Schreiber wrote. "If music has any chance of keeping our interest, it's going to have to move beyond the same palatable but predictable notes, meters, melodies, tonalities, atonalities, timbres, and harmonies."
Schreiber's semi-favorable review, which begins in earnest after a six-paragraph preamble comprising a long list of baroquely rendered, seemingly unrelated anecdotes peppered with obscure references, summarizes music as a "solid but uninspired effort."
"Coming in at an exhausting 7,000 years long, music is weighed down by a few too many mid- tempo tunes, most notably 'Liebesträume No. 3 in A flat' by Franz Liszt and 'Closing Time' by '90s alt-rock group Semisonic," Schreiber wrote. "In the end, though music can be brilliant at times, the whole medium comes off as derivative of Pavement."
While Schreiber concedes that music is still "trying to find its aesthetic," he also claims the form has not yet lived up to the lavish praise heaped on it by pop culture journalist Chuck Klosterman and 19th-century French romantic composer and critic Hector Berlioz, among others.
Schreiber concludes his critique by calling on music to develop a more cohesive sound in its future releases.
"We can only hope that [music] will begin to grow with its fans over the next few millennia," Schreiber said. "If it can stick to what it does well, namely the song 'Peg' by Steely Dan, and Tuvan throat singing, then a sophomore effort will indeed be something to get excited about."
The review has split the music community, with many decrying Pitchfork's lukewarm reception of music as a contrarian move designed to propel the publication's tastemaker status.
"It's elitism for the sake of elitism," said Rolling Stone senior editor David Fricke, who refuted Pitchfork's middling rating, describing the entire art form as "transcendent." "I've been listening to music for over 30 years, and it's consistently some of the best stuff out there."
Despite music's defenders, the Pitchfork review has made a deep impression on the thousands of music fans who slavishly follow the website's advice when it comes to enjoying things.
"Music used to be great, but let's be honest, it's a 6.8 now at best," said Los Angeles resident Lowell Radler, 23, who admitted that he just looked at the rating rather than reading the whole review. "I seriously might never listen to music again."
Still, most analysts agreed that the impact of Pitchfork's scathing review of music will be dampened by the 2.4 rating it received from Pitchfork staff writer Dave Maher just moments after the initial critique was published online. Maher termed Schreiber's assessment of music "overwrought, masturbatory posturing intended to make insecure hipsters feel as if they're part of some imagined elite beau monde."
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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TrippinTeddy
Lost Voyager



Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 18,461
Loc: Returning Video Tapes
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Re: Pitchfork reviews Music, gives it a 6.8 rating [The Onion] [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
#7391425 - 09/10/07 10:51 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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I love the onion
-------------------- ToiletDuk said: For the record, I would show you my butthole but you would fall down and worship it as a God and you would give up everything to roam the land converting the heathens by fire and sword. Millions would die. No, no the cost is too great. I cannot.
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jewunit
Brutal!

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio
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Re: Pitchfork reviews Music, gives it a 6.8 rating [The Onion] [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
#7391531 - 09/10/07 11:15 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Sadly, I actually read Pitchfork's website with consistency  Awesome read though, thanks. The Onion is fucking amazing.
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Hyper_Panda_GO
Team Action!


Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 9,720
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: Pitchfork reviews Music, gives it a 6.8 rating [The Onion] [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
#7391537 - 09/10/07 11:17 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Awesome, my favorite publication is ripping my least favorite publication
-------------------- There is no valid reason you should be reading this
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jewunit
Brutal!

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio
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Re: Pitchfork reviews Music, gives it a 6.8 rating [The Onion] [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
#7391545 - 09/10/07 11:18 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Link to this article, by the way?
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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Re: Pitchfork reviews Music, gives it a 6.8 rating [The Onion] [Re: jewunit]
#7391650 - 09/10/07 11:49 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
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Re: Pitchfork reviews Music, gives it a 6.8 rating [The Onion] [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
#7417320 - 09/16/07 05:35 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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hahaha
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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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