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Offlinetrippindad82
Trusted Cultivator of Trich
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Registered: 01/07/07
Posts: 1,087
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Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
I don't understand
    #7389934 - 09/09/07 09:58 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

So, as I have been bitching about, I have a possible piss test either this week or next week. I stopped smoking on wednesday night. I smoke between 1 and 1.5 ounces a week. I am not really worried about passing if it is next week as I have pissed clean in 6 days before.

If I get tested this week, I plan on using a sample smuggled in using a condom taped to my balls. My sample is very clean as the subject has yet to come anywhere near smoking age.

I read somewhere that they can test for the age of the person giving the sample. I call bullshit. But what gets me is that while the companies who test claim this, other companies make synthetic urine. So, if they can supposedly test for age (which I don't believe), then how does synthetic urine work?

I swear to god, these drug testing companies are full of shit and are only interested in making money. Fuck them. I'm going to show them who is the man.


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Trying to explain a journey to someone who has never experienced it is like trying to explain what a zebra looks like to  blind person who has never seen a horse.

^^^The above matter may be a complete fantasy that I concocted out of possible boredom.^^^


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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie

Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: I don't understand [Re: trippindad82]
    #7389943 - 09/09/07 10:01 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

You might want to tape the condom to the side of your leg rather than your balls. I can't imagine that'd feel very pleasant pulling the tape off. :smirk:


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m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.


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Offlinetrippindad82
Trusted Cultivator of Trich
Male


Registered: 01/07/07
Posts: 1,087
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Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: I don't understand [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #7389950 - 09/09/07 10:03 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

My balls are shaved for my woman to suck on them. I'm nice to her. My leg isn't shaved, although I could fix that if necessary. I'm just trying to put the condom as close to the warmest part of my body as possible.


--------------------
Trying to explain a journey to someone who has never experienced it is like trying to explain what a zebra looks like to  blind person who has never seen a horse.

^^^The above matter may be a complete fantasy that I concocted out of possible boredom.^^^


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InvisibleEllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
Re: I don't understand [Re: trippindad82]
    #7389982 - 09/09/07 10:12 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

I smoke between 1 and 1.5 ounces a week.




Are you serious?

Sounds like a good plan, anyhow. Good luck.


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Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.


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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie

Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: I don't understand [Re: trippindad82]
    #7389988 - 09/09/07 10:12 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

The few times I had to cheat piss tests I just had my brother piss into a ziplock bag for me. On the way there I kept the heater on high and put the ziplock right over the vent under the windshield. Meanwhile I was waring baggy pants and had bought a pack of regular underwear and had one of those self warming heat pads stuck to the inside. When I got to the docs I just slipped the ziplock bag into the front of the underwear and went in. Worked like a charm. Just don't throw the condom or bag into the garbage or toilet in there afterwards. (put it in your pocket for good measure) They usually tell you not to flush the toilet when you're done for whatever reason so fill the little bottle up to the line then pour the rest of the piss right in the toilet.


--------------------
m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.


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Offlinetrippindad82
Trusted Cultivator of Trich
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Registered: 01/07/07
Posts: 1,087
Loc: down, down the hole
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: I don't understand [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #7390027 - 09/09/07 10:20 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

matt said:
The few times I had to cheat piss tests I just had my brother piss into a ziplock bag for me. On the way there I kept the heater on high and put the ziplock right over the vent under the windshield. Meanwhile I was waring baggy pants and had bought a pack of regular underwear and had one of those self warming heat pads stuck to the inside. When I got to the docs I just slipped the ziplock bag into the front of the underwear and went in. Worked like a charm. Just don't throw the condom or bag into the garbage or toilet in there afterwards. (put it in your pocket for good measure) They usually tell you not to flush the toilet when you're done for whatever reason so fill the little bottle up to the line then pour the rest of the piss right in the toilet.




That's the plan. I'm just going to depend on my own body heat to keep the piss warm. I figure it has got to be at least 91 degrees down in my year round swamp ass. I just hope that I don't guess wrong.


--------------------
Trying to explain a journey to someone who has never experienced it is like trying to explain what a zebra looks like to  blind person who has never seen a horse.

^^^The above matter may be a complete fantasy that I concocted out of possible boredom.^^^


--------------------------------------



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Offlinetrippindad82
Trusted Cultivator of Trich
Male


Registered: 01/07/07
Posts: 1,087
Loc: down, down the hole
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: I don't understand [Re: EllisDSox]
    #7390042 - 09/09/07 10:25 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

EllisDSox said:
Quote:

I smoke between 1 and 1.5 ounces a week.




Are you serious?

Sounds like a good plan, anyhow. Good luck.




Yeah, I like to smoke my blunts. I smoke 4-5 a day, from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed. Some people think I smoke too much, but I find it better than the pharms I was on during my teen years. I feel that it slows my brain down to "normal". I also feel that it's better for me than the two to three packs of cigarettes that I was smoking before I upped my THC intake.


--------------------
Trying to explain a journey to someone who has never experienced it is like trying to explain what a zebra looks like to  blind person who has never seen a horse.

^^^The above matter may be a complete fantasy that I concocted out of possible boredom.^^^


--------------------------------------



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