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CerebralFlower
whats left?

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: only the truth is left
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
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i have no one else to turn to
#7382273 - 09/08/07 01:18 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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my heart is broken right now, physically, emotionally spiritually its 3 am and i dont have anyone to talk to and i need someone. my girlfriend who i devoted the last 4 years of my life to , our relationship is finally at an end i believe. i dont think she loves me. she tells me she doesnt even like me. i ask her if she loves me she says a little bit. shes always mad or bitchy or cold to me. she said she wanted to move in together, but her brother has come to town, so she just wants to live with him and her mom at home. so we havent been spending time otgether, trying to have our space and regain our independence and lives and i call her and the only place she answers is her work. which is the most commercial, trendy place on the earth and she considers her self open minded. its full of sluttly people and perverts and it makes me wonder why she works there. i feel so bad. im so lonely. all i do is be patient with her and give her my love and devotion. she said she was busy and would call me back. now.. i couldnt sleep because i was waiting for her call... so at 2:30AM i call her and shes at a party! she says ill talk to u later and hangs up on me. then turns her phone off. i asked her why she didnt call me? "I forgot" more than the first time this happened this week. i feel so stupid and so lonely and low, because all i do is miss her all the time and devote myself to becoming a better person for myself and her our relationship and she doesnt call me which means she doesnt think of me which means she doesnt care about me. and you have to care about someone to love them... i feel so lost. all ive done the last 4 years is be with her. i lost most of my friends because she was jealous of me hanging out with them (surprise surprise inverse psychology she cheated on me earlier this year) she told me she would always be with me no matter what and i was stupid enough to believe this. and give her my absoloute will and love. and im so lonely and she cant even call me because shes busy giving her love to other people at some party. fuck this. i feel so bad now.
-------------------- God says dance with your heart And shake free of you desire Where theres a will theres always a way When you get confused listen to the music play
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Lightningfractal
Nutcase


Registered: 06/24/03
Posts: 14,899
Loc: Heaven and Hell
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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She doesn't love you. Accept that fact, go find someone else that does, hook up and consider yourself lucky.
-------------------- Hi how's it going, wanna kick Heroin basically painlessly on your own, in your own house, without any government "help" ,or the "help" of a crazy condescending, judgmental medical doctor? Read this: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=42&Number=7342616&page=0&fpart=all
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Booby
Agent Mulder

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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You are in a fragile position. Emotionaly you could go over the edge and fuck-up royaly, so you almost have to get ahold of yourself and not let that happen. Other than that I think you are in a pretty good position that some would envy cause you got a life (you may not see it that way, but your life is full not empty)
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CerebralFlower
whats left?

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: only the truth is left
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
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its hard. all i want to do is spend a life of devotion with her.
-------------------- God says dance with your heart And shake free of you desire Where theres a will theres always a way When you get confused listen to the music play
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CerebralFlower
whats left?

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: only the truth is left
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
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right now while im sad and lonely, someone who loves me would be here for me. i have gave her so many days of space and patience and understanding. instead she is partying with a bunch of idiots. fuck this. even sex doesnt seem apealing to me because i want to have it with someone i love and i love her still, sadly enough. i always thought atleast if we break up ill be able to have sex with whoever i want, then once i actully consider doing it i dont even want to. it seems like all the good things in life are just an illusion.
-------------------- God says dance with your heart And shake free of you desire Where theres a will theres always a way When you get confused listen to the music play
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Lightningfractal
Nutcase


Registered: 06/24/03
Posts: 14,899
Loc: Heaven and Hell
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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And all she wants to do is break free and party. Cut yer losses and get a looking around before you drive yourself more nuts.
Been there, done that bro.
-------------------- Hi how's it going, wanna kick Heroin basically painlessly on your own, in your own house, without any government "help" ,or the "help" of a crazy condescending, judgmental medical doctor? Read this: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=42&Number=7342616&page=0&fpart=all
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Booby
Agent Mulder

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 3,781
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Try to get some feedback from some of her girlfriends about the two of you. They may not talk to you but the reverse psychology thing may get her interested in you again. Does this sound reasonable?
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Lightningfractal
Nutcase


Registered: 06/24/03
Posts: 14,899
Loc: Heaven and Hell
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Behead her in your mind. She betrayed you. Your best friend right now is your wallet!
-------------------- Hi how's it going, wanna kick Heroin basically painlessly on your own, in your own house, without any government "help" ,or the "help" of a crazy condescending, judgmental medical doctor? Read this: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=42&Number=7342616&page=0&fpart=all
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CerebralFlower
whats left?

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: only the truth is left
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
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it sucks. what makes it the hardest is thinking she still loves me. because she told me we would always be together and i programmed that deep in my brain. i would understand if she wants to be free. atleast be there for me. thats what love makes u do is care about others. but this is bullshit. shes gonna get her karma for fucking up my life the last 4 years.
-------------------- God says dance with your heart And shake free of you desire Where theres a will theres always a way When you get confused listen to the music play
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Lightningfractal
Nutcase


Registered: 06/24/03
Posts: 14,899
Loc: Heaven and Hell
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Sever the programming and live now! It took me 8 months to get that through my thick ass skull. I'd like to see you do it in 2 weeks. I offer you some of my strength which I believed I lacked at the time of my similar experience, but had all along...
It sucks to invest heavily in something and then lose. But it happens. Soldier up like the man that you are, think logically like men do instead of emotionally, like women do, and go out into the world and find the love that was meant for you the whole time.
-------------------- Hi how's it going, wanna kick Heroin basically painlessly on your own, in your own house, without any government "help" ,or the "help" of a crazy condescending, judgmental medical doctor? Read this: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=42&Number=7342616&page=0&fpart=all
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Lightningfractal
Nutcase


Registered: 06/24/03
Posts: 14,899
Loc: Heaven and Hell
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Stand tall, and stand proud!
You're not the sucker, she is.
-------------------- Hi how's it going, wanna kick Heroin basically painlessly on your own, in your own house, without any government "help" ,or the "help" of a crazy condescending, judgmental medical doctor? Read this: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=42&Number=7342616&page=0&fpart=all
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Lightningfractal
Nutcase


Registered: 06/24/03
Posts: 14,899
Loc: Heaven and Hell
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Keep yourself physically and emotionally presentable at all times, go to some parties of your own, or throw one. Project yourself as strong, attractive, and able. Attract a new woman. Demonstrate the strength of humanity.
-------------------- Hi how's it going, wanna kick Heroin basically painlessly on your own, in your own house, without any government "help" ,or the "help" of a crazy condescending, judgmental medical doctor? Read this: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=42&Number=7342616&page=0&fpart=all
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SaulGood
Da Kine



Registered: 07/12/07
Posts: 280
Loc: Hawaii- all over
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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talking from my own personal experience, you have to learn to live without someone before you can find the RIGHT person. I spent about 2 years without a girlfriend or anything before I met my wife, because I made a list of all the traits I wanted in a girl (cares about others more than themselves, not afraid to be different, loves to sing, etc) and i wouldn't go out with anyone who didnt have ALL of those traits (i think there were about 35 or so... i lost the list). Now my wife and I have been dating for almost 2 years, we've been married for 6 months and I swear she's my soul mate.
SO....
I would make the same suggestion to you. It's obvious that this girl is not right for you. If she were she wouldn't have cheated on you. Learn to live without her, but find the traits she had that you loved the most, and write them down. then find her biggest flaws, and write those down (example: if she spent all your money then write down something like 'doesn't waste money')
and then DO NOT ACCEPT ANYONE WHO DOESNT MEET YOUR STANDARDS. That way, you will know when the right person comes along. It might seem hard at times, but you'll be better off in the long run, and you'll learn so much about yourself by being alone, and become more defined in who YOU are, not who your girlfriend wants you to be. And when the right girl does finally come along, you'll be ready for her and not dating some dumb chick.
anyway, that's my personal advice, take it or leave it. Hope you are able to get through this though, I know it can be tough but trust me, when you find the right person you'll realize that the love you may think you have for her doesnt even compare to what you'll eventually find.
Good luck, brah.
--------------------
                                       -When in Rome, do the Romans.
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Lightningfractal
Nutcase


Registered: 06/24/03
Posts: 14,899
Loc: Heaven and Hell
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Re: i have no one else to turn to [Re: SaulGood]
#7382426 - 09/08/07 02:45 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Now that certainly sounds like a viable plan to achieve the ends I outlined! I agree that any logical, thoughtful, positively designed approach is a good one!
Cerebral: Weakness and despair is not an option, it's only holding the wound open! Get done with that shit, it's a waste of time, and waste of your life!
Dust off the sport coat! Time's a wastin'!
-------------------- Hi how's it going, wanna kick Heroin basically painlessly on your own, in your own house, without any government "help" ,or the "help" of a crazy condescending, judgmental medical doctor? Read this: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=42&Number=7342616&page=0&fpart=all
Edited by Lightningfractal (09/08/07 02:51 AM)
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Lightningfractal
Nutcase


Registered: 06/24/03
Posts: 14,899
Loc: Heaven and Hell
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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And if you're going to be obstinate about this, please let me offer you a little advice...
Show her absolutely no weakness. Do not beg, do not plead, do not fill up her answering machine with messages. Do not cry foul to her friends!!! Cry in your closet if you want, but then when you see her you look her straight in the eyes and tell her like it is without a single teardrop hitting the pavement. Demonstrate to her only strength, it's your only shot, and it's still the longest of all long shots known to man, but I'm sure it's been done with positive results a time or two throughout history..
Good luck! I hope you win your heart's desires, but sometimes you must allow your mind to rule the roost for a while.
-------------------- Hi how's it going, wanna kick Heroin basically painlessly on your own, in your own house, without any government "help" ,or the "help" of a crazy condescending, judgmental medical doctor? Read this: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=42&Number=7342616&page=0&fpart=all
Edited by Lightningfractal (09/08/07 03:26 AM)
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Lightningfractal
Nutcase


Registered: 06/24/03
Posts: 14,899
Loc: Heaven and Hell
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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During the middle of my time of dying, my beloved told me "Hey! I think I may have your child!"
So I was like thinking to myself, "Oh, wow fuck fuck fuck fuck holy fuck!!! this is great!!! This beat-up, broken-down shit might just work out after all!!"
A few days later she was like "Nope, false alarm, oh well anyway, go ahead and fuck off".
lol You just gotta expect this kind of shit. I let her kill me twice! 
But I stood back up both times, I think that actually confused her a little bit.
She was actually saying shit on the phone to me like: "How come you haven't actually lost your mind yet?" And I'm like "Maybe it's because you're actually just a piece of shit".
And that was the end of the end, and I had just wasted 8 months of my life getting to that point. Things turned around for me about 3 weeks after that, I found someone real, and I still look back sometimes....
At a piece of shit.
-------------------- Hi how's it going, wanna kick Heroin basically painlessly on your own, in your own house, without any government "help" ,or the "help" of a crazy condescending, judgmental medical doctor? Read this: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=42&Number=7342616&page=0&fpart=all
Edited by Lightningfractal (09/08/07 03:56 AM)
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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I am sorry that you are going through this, but I know that you're able to find the power to set yourself free from those negative emotions and come to a better place.
Nobody can know for sure what's on your girl's mind. Maybe she just wants a break, or maybe she really wants a permanent break. Or maybe she doesn't know exactly what she wants. The facts is that you only make things worse for you as a couple and for you alone if you insist in calling her like that. Take this time and learn to spend it on your own, no matter how difficult it will be. It will help you learn a lot of things about yourself and it will make you grow. Analyze your feelings towards her and you'll see how much of it is really love and how much it is only fixation. It's the fixation you need to rid yourself of be because it's what makes you call her all the time, and also what makes you unable to live with yourself. Until we feel good with ourselves, we can't make anyone else feel good in our company. No matter how your girlfriend is treating you right now, there IS a strong connection between the two of you and she perceives on a much deeper level that part of you which is only fixated on her, and it could be exactly the reason why she pushes you away (consciously or unconsciously). If you take this time to ground yourself and rediscover who you really are, you will be able, after a while, to start communicating with her again, from a whole new perspective. And this will give you the opportunity to realize if there's anything from your relationship that's worth saving or not.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Lightningfractal
Nutcase


Registered: 06/24/03
Posts: 14,899
Loc: Heaven and Hell
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Re: i have no one else to turn to [Re: MushroomTrip]
#7382542 - 09/08/07 04:55 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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That reads like you copy/pasted that from the Boy Scout's manual, but yeah, still sounds about right.
-------------------- Hi how's it going, wanna kick Heroin basically painlessly on your own, in your own house, without any government "help" ,or the "help" of a crazy condescending, judgmental medical doctor? Read this: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=42&Number=7342616&page=0&fpart=all
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kotik
fuckingsuperhero


Registered: 06/29/04
Posts: 3,531
Last seen: 4 years, 24 days
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Re: i have no one else to turn to [Re: SaulGood]
#7382824 - 09/08/07 08:17 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
asedatednation said: talking from my own personal experience, you have to learn to live without someone before you can find the RIGHT person.

and for the OP:
Quote:
i lost most of my friends because she was jealous of me hanging out with them (surprise surprise inverse psychology she cheated on me earlier this year)
yup, but also being submissive to the degree of actually losing your friends (assuming you did what she asked, and cut ties) - that was a huge turning point, as you gave up your masculinity (aka what attracted her to you) when doing so.
I'm sure you will have a better experience next time, especially taking into consideration what you have learned in this process. Compromising on certain things is essential, but giving up friends is out of the question, and should raise a red flag right away.
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.
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ManianFH
living in perverty


Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,741
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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Oh Cerebral Flower... how I want to help you. One of your biggest problems with your situation is, you are the problem.
When you read this (and these other posts) you need to make a decision immediately. You need to choose to do something you havent done before, and fucking stick with it. Here it is, are you ready???
get ready, seriously:
Never call her again.
Not even a goodbye. Dont call her friends. Dont call her. Dont call her parents. Dont call anyone related to her.
Do not call this girl, ever again.
When she calls you, dont pick up.
Its like quitting smoking. She is your bad fucking habit. And you are making the habit so much worse by tending to it every moment of your waking existence.
Quit your habit. Right now, stop. It will hurt for a short while while you go through withdrawls, but down the road, when you realize how much more important your health is that tending to that rediculous habit, you will feel So much healthier. And Be so much healthier.
I honestly believe that the ONLY way for you to fix this problem, is to FIX your actions.
Stop calling her, dont even fucking think about her.
Fuck tending to someone elses needs, btw... you tend to your own needs. You Devote a life of love to yourself.... I think this is one of the fundamental errors of your reasoning with love..
YOU NEED TO BE ALONE RIGHT NOW! You need to find love with yourself, to the point of where you honestly dont care if you get a girlfriend or not, because you are happy being with yourself. You dont need to find that happiness in others.
NEVER DEVOTE YOUR INNER LOVE TO ANOTHER PERSON MORESO THAN YOURSELF.
Seriously dude, I hope you take this literally, and not as a suggestion. I hope you fucking stop feeling hurt because of what shes doing to you, and realize YOU ARE DOING ALL OF THIS TO YOURSELF.
YOU ARE DOING ALL OF THIS TO YOURSELF.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! STOP CALLING HER! Stop all contact with her, and devote yourself to quitting these bad habits of trying to put your love other places than in yourself.
Please dude, for your own health, quit smoking you know what i mean, you know what you have to do.. quit quit quit
be happy with yourself, and find that happiness and hold onto it for dear life. never devote youself to anyone like you would yourself. Love yourself with a love you can give no other, and you will never let yourself be hurt by another that much again.
Please dude, dont ever call her again. Let her go and move on with your life. Find happiness somewhere else.
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Re: i have no one else to turn to [Re: ManianFH]
#7383409 - 09/08/07 11:36 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Great advice!
IMO, when we look to others to fill us with happiness, we have created a bottomless pit of need within ourselves. No matter how hard a well-meaning partner tries, their love can not fill us up.
But when we choose to take full responsibility for our happiness, and enjoy others for the unique beings they are, we can feel the positive effect of being loved by them.
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Grok
Has Been a Bad Boy



Registered: 12/03/03
Posts: 1,262
Loc: Greener Pastures
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Re: i have no one else to turn to [Re: Veritas]
#7389157 - 09/09/07 06:22 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Listen to mickdawg!!!
You don't realize it now, and probably won't anytime soon, but this is all a blessing in disguise bro. That's no way to be in a relationship. I'd venture to guess it's probably your first one, or first major one. Life is not meant to be lived for other people. There is absolutely nothing noble doing so. If you keep this sort of attitude girls will walk all over you for the rest of your life, just like this one is.
What you have is a great opportunity for personal growth. It ain't comfortable but such experiences rarely are. Take advantage of it.
-------------------- Entropy is increasing. To send me a PM, go to my journal
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TheMan420
ShroomDust



Registered: 07/02/07
Posts: 195
Loc: Around the world
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: i have no one else to turn to [Re: Grok]
#7389275 - 09/09/07 06:53 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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hey man it does suck but you gotta look at the good side of things because thats all you have to look at really.
You said you were with her for four years thats long i think that you might have forgotten what you really like it sounds like she had you bitched whip, yea i know you love her and all. ill tell you somein that happened to me my ex was caught by me cheating on my bed! yea she told me she loved me and everything but seeing that showed me she didn't giva fuck about me, we still talk and everything because i would still want to get back with her but no i wont. i nearly killed the fucker but i just left after smashing him up so he couldn't fuck anymore for awhile. i wanted to beat the fuck out of her aswel but I'm not like that at all. Rage filled me for days even thinking back 2years later i still get fried!
after that night i just went out with my real friend, the ones that really care about you and meet with nicer people and even better looking ones, so if shes out partying like a rock-star and you want someone to devote your love to id say call up some old buddies that you probably haven't talked to in awhile and go out and have some fun with em man. your a one of a kind and when a girl see's that in you she will fall in love with you as much as you love her and then your ex will see this and know she did a bad thing. trust me on this one! hope you do better!PEACE
-------------------- Find Your Mind
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Iolaa
iolaa, not lolaa
Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 335
Loc: Humco
Last seen: 4 months, 7 days
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Re: i have no one else to turn to [Re: TheMan420]
#7390028 - 09/09/07 10:21 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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if there's one thing i've learned about loneliness, is that it comes in waves. for a while it's going to be shitty, really REALLY shitty. and you're going to just sit there and mope. but pretty soon, like a week, your phone is going to be blowing up with people wanting to hang out with you. then you look back and say, "yeah, i still love her, but it's not anything i couldn't have with someone WAY more deserving".
hope that helps!
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Rustifer
prestige worldwide



Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
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Re: i have no one else to turn to [Re: Iolaa]
#7390504 - 09/10/07 01:25 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'm going through pretty much the same thing, me and my high school sweetheart just broke up 2 months ago, We had been living together for the past year and a half and decided she was going to start having a relationship with somebody else. I packed my shit and left my home and my life behind. It sucks thinking about how close I was with her family, and how all the plans we had are all gone now. It still doesn't feel like it, but using my man logic says it's better this way. Now mostly the only emotion I feel about the situation now is anger, at myself, for allowing myself to be so caught up in her that I never noticed how unhealthy of a relationship it was, for not noticing that I was wasting my life away working for something that wasn't worth my time.
But now I'm back in my home town with all of my old buddies and I'm having a blast. I have all kinds of me time now, it feels really good now to start working on myself. I'm pretty sure that I landed a better job than the one I had 2 months ago, I've gained 10 pounds (I'm 6'0, 135 lbs) and I'm about to move into an apartment with 2 friend where my rent will be less than half of what I left that bitch with. I'm pretty pumped about my new single life now, there's a lot of things I shouldve been doing the past years, and a lot of pretty young girls I missed out on. I'm very glad I got out when I did, and didn't end up with a kid and being in a miserable relationship for even more of my life.
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basdathea
TokesAlucinogenos


Registered: 08/11/05
Posts: 191
Loc: planet earth
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: i have no one else to turn to [Re: Rustifer]
#7471429 - 09/30/07 06:53 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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yes listen to mickdawg666, remember I told you that a loooong time ago but u didnt listen. and thats the reason why I need to be alone right now. I need to find myself, be realized in something I truly love. I feel lost right now specially after our first "break" i started to discover something in me. something you killed with your violence, it was nice I was starting to get over it until we came back again and everything fell apart once again. I really dont like doing this but its for my own good and yours. Dont say I cheated on you because that is not true, we broke up and I really thought that we will never come back. I was never with anyone else when I was with you and never cheated on anyone. why would I do something I dont want others to do to me, its illogical. Its all a process of re-discovering yourself. suffering makes us go the wrong way sometimes its just finding a way to recognize your path and go on with your life. find internall love for your own being and thatll be enough. then youll see if that someone comes to you. may be seek psychological help that helped me a lot and it can to you. hope you feel better.
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Alion



Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 462
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Re: i have no one else to turn to [Re: ManianFH]
#7471438 - 09/30/07 06:58 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Get over it, move on.
Go to bed and wake up to a new day.
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ajdaak
raver for life



Registered: 09/14/07
Posts: 225
Loc: wi
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: i have no one else to turn to [Re: ManianFH]
#7471469 - 09/30/07 07:10 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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i have had two long term relationships in my life one was a five year and one was a four year and i have a son with and both pretty much ended like that the only thing i can tell you is go out make new friends or build back up old friends if they are true friends they will understand but you have to figure out what makes only you happy again because the only way your girlfriend will realize she really loves you is by missing you but you also might go out and find out what makes you happy is not being with her at all but the whole jist of this is make just yourself happy and everything else will just fall in place
--------------------
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leery11
I Tell You What!


Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Re: i have no one else to turn to [Re: ajdaak]
#7499586 - 10/08/07 09:26 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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strangled by our coveting recognize this as a holy gift we can embrace the pain and transmutate this cold and fated anchor let go and cry all you need
and just feel
you will now be stronger
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
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