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OfflineHeadTripVertigo
at least I'm housebroken
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 10,788
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: The_Rastaman]
    #7378619 - 09/07/07 12:44 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

jobu...chodamonkey...your posts are great and all...but how do you deal with a girl who has already had all those drug eperiences and feels that way after the fact? she has nothing to learn about them really, and isn't interested in finding a positive perspective about them through their use as her previous use has more or less proven(at least to her) that there is no positive perspective, and that those who have positive perspectives about drugs have just not had their supposedly inevitable negative ones that will change their perspective to what hers is...


--------------------
TACOS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER

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OfflineShroomingNJ
Oh Hai There !
Male

Registered: 06/12/05
Posts: 565
Loc: NJ
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: HeadTripVertigo]
    #7378662 - 09/07/07 12:55 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

Brotha if there is one thing I have learned from the dating scene its just go with the flow.

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Offlinesirbojangles
h20

Registered: 10/22/05
Posts: 1,298
Loc: inside a transparent eyeb...
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: The_Rastaman]
    #7378693 - 09/07/07 01:04 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

share your love

ive seen plenty of intelligent and smart people (including religious) eventually try pot or psychedellics and love it

so id say go for it

sex isnt everything, im perfectly happy and still a virgin

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OfflineIolaa
iolaa, not lolaa
Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 335
Loc: Humco
Last seen: 5 months, 26 days
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: sirbojangles]
    #7378766 - 09/07/07 01:23 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

college will loosen her up a LOT.

one of my good friends was really straight-edge. like, HATED me for having ONE beer at a party.

where is she now? coke head.

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Offlinejobu
Nub
Male

Registered: 09/07/07
Posts: 20
Loc: Carolinas
Last seen: 14 years, 10 months
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: ShroomingNJ]
    #7378770 - 09/07/07 01:24 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

HeadTripVertigo said:
jobu...chodamonkey...your posts are great and all...but how do you deal with a girl who has already had all those drug eperiences and feels that way after the fact? she has nothing to learn about them really, and isn't interested in finding a positive perspective about them through their use as her previous use has more or less proven(at least to her) that there is no positive perspective, and that those who have positive perspectives about drugs have just not had their supposedly inevitable negative ones that will change their perspective to what hers is...





Most people, not all will grow out of using drugs. Well lets leave weed out of this.

I have tripped many many times, but haven't touched it in about 7 years. Its very natural in our society to use it. Regardless here is some advice to you headtripvertigo.

You will one day most likely stop using shrooms and cid but only you (not anyone else) should decide when that time is.

Its great that she has had the experience she needs to not use them and I hope her life is great, but you have to live your own life and make your own choices that are unique to your lifestyle and journey here on earth. Remind her of that.

Just so you don't harbor any guilt, realize that you are not making her feel this way. You can not make anyone feel anyway. She cries because of her view of the world and because something in your situation makes her sad. She most likely still has issues buried deep inside she is trying to deal with. She might see something that your doing to yourself that she interprets as hurting yourself, or not honoring your life vessel (body).

"Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality" quote from Don Miguel Ruiz, The four Agreements.

-------------------
Now that guilts out of the way, you have to talk to her about this. You have to remind her that we each have to find our own way through our own experiences. Its nothing new. Its the same reason when our parents told us not to do something we went and did it anyhow. We have to know how it feels. What it felt like to us, not what it feels like to someone else.

Ex:
I might have been born with a feeling of wrongness about stealing and I just never needed to do it in my lifetime to see what it felt like, somehow I knew how it would feel already.
Others might have had to spend some time as a thief until they realized it made them feel bad way down deep inside somewhere.

So don't let her rob you of coming to your own conclusions in life. Be firm about this with her. Tell her you love her, you think she is brilliant and all the things you feel, but also let her know that she has no say in the matter. You will do what you will do and as long as it doesn't effect her negatively (your not being a dick, hitting, cheating, being negative etc) she will have to learn to live with it.

The whole idea of a relationship is to share bits (not all) of life with each other. If a relationship turns so that your trying to take experiences away from each other then your really robbing the other person of self growth towards a better and stronger person.

----------------
Really its the same outcome as the other situation. You need to sit her down, talk to her about it.

Stay strong, be gentle but firm, only speak whats in your true heart. Start with the positives and how much you love being with her (be specific as to why, she will appreciate that), but let her know how you are feeling about the drug thing, that you will only change when you are ready, and why you feel this way.

Don't expect a solution that day, go into this knowing she will need time to think about it. Women are amazing and if she loves you she will respect the strait forwardness, your inner strength and eventually your choices.

Give her 2 days and talk again to see how she is feeling about it all.

---------------------------------

One last thing, I hope you don't feel like she needs to do drugs with you... That would be you trying to rob her of her life decisions and lessons towards being a stronger better person.

Good luck, let us know how it goes. -J


--------------------
Be the change that you wish to see - Ghandi

Edited by jobu (09/07/07 01:26 PM)

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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: Iolaa]
    #7378783 - 09/07/07 01:28 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)


college will loosen her up a LOT.


Quoted for truth. She's probably snorting coke off of some frat-boy's dick as we type.

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OfflineIolaa
iolaa, not lolaa
Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 335
Loc: Humco
Last seen: 5 months, 26 days
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #7382158 - 09/08/07 12:40 AM (16 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

RandalFlagg said:

college will loosen her up a LOT.


Quoted for truth. She's probably snorting coke off of some frat-boy's dick as we type.




well...she's not with the frat boy anymore.

but i've seen pictures. and i cried.

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