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OfflineThe_Rastaman
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Registered: 01/09/06
Posts: 22
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
Need girl advice...
    #7374999 - 09/06/07 03:55 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

What's up guys and gals... I'm a frequent reader who rarely posts but lately I've been in a weird situation that could use some input...

Alright, about two months ago I met this beautiful girl with an equally beautiful personality. She's smart, funny, trustworthy, takes care of her body, etc. etc. We have a lot in common as well. Our biggest difference is well... she's VERY straight edge. Like no drinking, no drugs, no sex. She's a very religious person and her religion is very important to her, which is cool. Honestly, I respect that in a person. I wouldn't necessarily call myself religious, but I do have a deep spiritual side.

So we hang out a couple times and she starts to fall for me until - yep - I tell her I smoke weed. At first she seems cool with it but then she calls me on a day we were supposed to hang out and says she just wants to be friends. "Alright, whatever, that's cool with me" - done, over.

Calls me out of the blue a week later and just starts talking to me. I'm curious but bitter and tell her I'll call her and don't. I run into her at work and we talk a bit and then she calls me later that night. I told her how I felt, how I thought it was fucked up that she'd judge me so quick just because I smoke pot. She apologizes and talked about a guy she used to date who was a typical lazy stoner. I'm a 22 year old responsible adult with a full time job, goes to school, and has a good social life and I tell her this. She says she really likes me a lot and wants to see me. I say not right now and she leaves for college.

So now she's an hour and a half away. She's always calling/texting me and we're staying close for now. I know she wants a relationship but I'm unsure. Like I said, she's an amazing person but I want a girl who play beer pong with me, who will smoke a joint with me, who will trip with me. I don't want a party girl, been there done that, but a girl who likes to have a good time every once in a while. I told you how she reacted to me telling her about Mary Jane, I can't even imagine what she'd say about shrooms. The funny thing is she was telling me how she gets cluster headaches and I just said, "I know a cure for that..." and snickered.

She's only a freshmen in college right now. Do you think college might loosen her up a little and I should stick with this? Maybe start a relationship with her and try to mold her a little bit as I gain her trust? Or just tell her that I don't think it's going to work out? I could use some different opinions... thanks.

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Invisibledr_gonz

Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,654
. [Re: The_Rastaman]
    #7375007 - 09/06/07 03:56 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

.

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OfflineStizzle
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Registered: 04/26/07
Posts: 754
Loc: Tuvalu
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: The_Rastaman]
    #7375017 - 09/06/07 03:58 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

Sounds like she should be w/ some Charlie Church type and you should look for someone less anal.


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF Flag
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: The_Rastaman]
    #7375060 - 09/06/07 04:10 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

I think you should just enjoy her for who she is.

Having a girlfriend who doesn't get wasted isn't a bad thing; it's a great thing! Except the no sex thing. That ain't too cool but... that's probably flexible with a little patience on your part. They way I think you should play it: slow and easy with her. Don't try to get her stoned or any bullshit like, just make her feel comfortable and enjoy your time together. Probably sooner than later you'll find yourself knee deep in some very high quality female action.

Save the partying for the boys! Friday nights you blaze up and hang out do all they shit you like to do. Saturdays and probably pretty soon, Sunday mornings you spend with a hot chick who in your own words 'takes care of herself'.

Plus, man, it's probably good for you to have a reason to cut back on weed and shit. Instead of you turning her on to weed I think you should see what see has to turn you on to.

My two cents bro

Good Luck!


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[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]

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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: The_Rastaman]
    #7375067 - 09/06/07 04:12 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

The_Rastaman said:
she's VERY straight edge. Like....no sex.




Pfft....next.

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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: dr_gonz]
    #7375071 - 09/06/07 04:13 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

When chicks like this do start to fuck...they go CRAZY though. Maybe this guy can be the guy who breaks her in.

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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF Flag
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #7375072 - 09/06/07 04:14 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

But Flagg, when you get down to it, everyone fucks.


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[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]

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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF Flag
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #7375075 - 09/06/07 04:14 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

RandalFlagg said:
When chicks like this do start to fuck...they go CRAZY though. Maybe this guy can be the guy who breaks her in.




4sho!


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[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]

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OfflineThe_Rastaman
Stranger
Registered: 01/09/06
Posts: 22
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #7376517 - 09/06/07 09:50 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

TheFakeSunRa said:
I think you should just enjoy her for who she is.

Having a girlfriend who doesn't get wasted isn't a bad thing; it's a great thing! Except the no sex thing. That ain't too cool but... that's probably flexible with a little patience on your part. They way I think you should play it: slow and easy with her. Don't try to get her stoned or any bullshit like, just make her feel comfortable and enjoy your time together. Probably sooner than later you'll find yourself knee deep in some very high quality female action.

Save the partying for the boys! Friday nights you blaze up and hang out do all they shit you like to do. Saturdays and probably pretty soon, Sunday mornings you spend with a hot chick who in your own words 'takes care of herself'.

Plus, man, it's probably good for you to have a reason to cut back on weed and shit. Instead of you turning her on to weed I think you should see what see has to turn you on to.

My two cents bro

Good Luck!




Thanks man, this is exactly what I've been thinking. I think if she falls for me I'll be able to turn her onto a lot of things that I like to do and show her they're not so bad after all. I didn't mention that she has like a tripper's "mind" if that makes any sense, even though she's never taken any drug. Loves nature and art and stuff like that. I know she would absolutely love shrooms and I think with enough time I could get her to try them. But the thing is a lot of time is also a lot of time without sex, me thinks. She says she wants to wait until marriage. I don't know how concrete that is but it couldn't hurt to try. She's a 5'2" swimmer/dancer with a gorgeous face and a eight pack... mmmmmmm.

I've been wanting to cut down on smoking and shit which is why I like the idea of her, but shit, I love Mary jane too and right now I won't even answer the phone stoned if she calls. I just don't want to stop doing what I want because of her, you know?

I dunno man, still confused about the whole situation.

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Offlinenakors_junk_bag
Lobster Bisque
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Registered: 11/23/04
Posts: 2,415
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Last seen: 15 years, 10 months
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: Stizzle]
    #7376552 - 09/06/07 09:58 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Stizzle said:
Sounds like she should be w/ some Charlie Church type and you should look for someone less anal.




he should look for some who does more anal. IMHO


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Asshole

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Offlinehailtothethief
floater

Registered: 01/15/07
Posts: 728
Last seen: 1 month, 20 days
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: The_Rastaman]
    #7376880 - 09/06/07 11:47 PM (16 years, 6 months ago)

nvm

Edited by hailtothethief (09/06/07 11:47 PM)

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Invisiblegreys
OTD Sergeant at Arms
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Registered: 07/16/06
Posts: 44,923
Loc: nunya
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: hailtothethief]
    #7377142 - 09/07/07 02:00 AM (16 years, 6 months ago)

let a full year of college set in....you might be surprised what vices she might pick up after a couple semesters at school......


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:greys:

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InvisibleMonstroniuM
The Original Juggernaut
Male


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 207
Loc: Florida, USA Flag
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: greys]
    #7377209 - 09/07/07 02:31 AM (16 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

greysRDbest said:
let a full year of college set in....you might be surprised what vices she might pick up after a couple semesters at school......




College is a fun and life altering time, let it ride and more then likely things will change, for the better lets hope.


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The text and pictures posted by this user are entirely fictional. All posts are for entertainment purposes only and do not necessarily reflect the views or beliefs of this user.

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OfflineLocus
Male


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/11/04
Posts: 6,112
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: The_Rastaman]
    #7377501 - 09/07/07 06:25 AM (16 years, 6 months ago)

i think if you both like eachother that much you should try it out. and you may just change her mind about drugs. she probably has been misinformed when it comes to drugs and you can give her the right information and maybe one day she would actually trip with you.


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The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:

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OfflineHeadTripVertigo
at least I'm housebroken
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Re: Need girl advice... [Re: The_Rastaman]
    #7377589 - 09/07/07 07:19 AM (16 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

The_Rastaman said:
What's up guys and gals... I'm a frequent reader who rarely posts but lately I've been in a weird situation that could use some input...

Alright, about two months ago I met this beautiful girl with an equally beautiful personality.  She's smart, funny, trustworthy, takes care of her body, etc. etc.  We have a lot in common as well.  Our biggest difference is well... she's VERY straight edge.  Like no drinking, no drugs, no sex.  She's a very religious person and her religion is very important to her, which is cool.  Honestly, I respect that in a person.  I wouldn't necessarily call myself religious, but I do have a deep spiritual side. 

So we hang out a couple times and she starts to fall for me until - yep - I tell her I smoke weed.  At first she seems cool with it but then she calls me on a day we were supposed to hang out and says she just wants to be friends.  "Alright, whatever, that's cool with me" - done, over.

Calls me out of the blue a week later and just starts talking to me.  I'm curious but bitter and tell her I'll call her and don't.  I run into her at work and we talk a bit and then she calls me later that night.  I told her how I felt, how I thought it was fucked up that she'd judge me so quick just because I smoke pot.  She apologizes and talked about a guy she used to date who was a typical lazy stoner.  I'm a 22 year old responsible adult with a full time job, goes to school, and has a good social life and I tell her this.  She says she really likes me a lot and wants to see me.  I say not right now and she leaves for college. 

So now she's an hour and a half away.  She's always calling/texting me and we're staying close for now.  I know she wants a relationship but I'm unsure.  Like I said, she's an amazing person but I want a girl who play beer pong with me, who will smoke a joint with me, who will trip with me.  I don't want a party girl, been there done that, but a girl who likes to have a good time every once in a while.  I told you how she reacted to me telling her about Mary Jane, I can't even imagine what she'd say about shrooms.  The funny thing is she was telling me how she gets cluster headaches and I just said, "I know a cure for that..." and snickered. 

She's only a freshmen in college right now.  Do you think college might loosen her up a little and I should stick with this?  Maybe start a relationship with her and try to mold her a little bit as I gain her trust?  Or just tell her that I don't think it's going to work out?  I could use some different opinions... thanks.



I'm in the same boat man, almost to the T.  My girl and I were back home in FL visiting families/friends etc...  My brother took us out to a pub to hang out etc...  We all got smashed on pints of guiness and had a great time.  she didn't drink a drop(though I've seen her drink 2 beers and maybe 1/3 bottle of Shiraz before...on separate occasions when she came to see me in Philly.  so she told me the net morning after the pub night  that she cried last night because of "how much I hurt myself." 

I appreciate the concern, but I'm 21, and at this point in my life going out and having fun generally entails drinking booze.  The worst part is she used to do it all.  her first acid trip was age 13.  she probably ate enough rolls to turn every Muslim woman in the world into a porn star.  but because after 5 or so years of drug use etc, she felt that it had a negative impact on her life, and since about 2 years back, has been clean, she thinks everything hurts you.  her sister has problems with crack/heroin etc.  I try to let her know about my psychedelic use etc, and she dismisses it all as if I were talking about how great crack or skag is. 

I love the girl, and she loves me a lot, and I've known her since I was 14...we've only been together for maybe 3 months or so, but I've pretty much been in love with her since I was 14 or 15 and we were best friends throughout much of high school.  I just wish I knew how to help her find some balance or tolerance to my use of substances, but it seems like I'm fighting a losing battle.  we'll see I guess....

I just think it sucks that she is taking her past negative experiences with drugs as the final word without thinking or acknowledging that other people could have very different and even positive experiences with drugs.  she tells me "I've been where you are, I was there before..." but of course she had scary ass acid trips and such, and to my knowledge, never came out of one or a mushroom/mescaline trip with actually learning something or having a fantastic time. 

the concept seems like a kid playing with fire and getting burnt and refusing to use an oven or stove for the rest of their life as a result.  there's potential for harm of course, but also plenty of potential for good if used responsibly.  damn that was a good analogy.  :lol:


--------------------
TACOS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER

Edited by HeadTripVertigo (09/07/07 07:25 AM)

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Invisiblechodamunky
Cheers!


Registered: 02/28/02
Posts: 2,030
Loc: sailing the seas of chees...
Re: Need girl advice... [Re: The_Rastaman]
    #7377662 - 09/07/07 07:50 AM (16 years, 6 months ago)

Hah, dude I am kind of in the same situation... my girl doesn't do any drugs, smoke, or even drink... but the funny thing.. she's a raver!!! she goes to tons of raves and just enjoys them being sober :laugh:  anyway, girls like this are really awesome because if they fall for you, they will genuinely be interested why their lovely man is taking these substances and out of their own curiousity they may ask you to let them try a little... if not, then oh well, as long as she's cool with you doing it.  P.S. my girl loves to have sex... and she's so hot and smart and doesn't follow any religion (like me)...  I think I'm in love :grin: (btw, my family and friends said I'd never find a girl like this cause my way of looking at life is too different for any 'normal' girl to appreciate.. HAH!)

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InvisibleEgo Death
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Re: Need girl advice... [Re: The_Rastaman]
    #7377689 - 09/07/07 08:00 AM (16 years, 6 months ago)

Y R these posts always soooo huge?

Because your brain has just dumped a shit load of luurve hormones.

If your under the age of 40, then girls are to be fucked and fucked off.
The man is a busy bee, he must spread his pollen from flower to flower. Don't think the flower won't be spreading its nectar either!

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InvisibleIn(di)go
People of the sun.
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Re: Need girl advice... [Re: The_Rastaman]
    #7377745 - 09/07/07 08:14 AM (16 years, 6 months ago)

i think give it a shot... you have nothing to lose... IME being with a girl that is not into drugs is not such a bad experience... it's actually a nice feeling to have a kind of solid "homebase" to get back to when you feel you are too spaced out...


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Invisiblemushbaby
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Re: Need girl advice... [Re: In(di)go]
    #7377770 - 09/07/07 08:28 AM (16 years, 6 months ago)

Give college a chance to loosen her up.

But one word of advice (you did ask for it), never, ever get into a relationship with the mindset that you can change that person to your way of thinking. She has to accept you for the way that you are and you have to accept her for the way she is. Works both ways.

If you are unable to handle how she is, admit it to yourself now and save both of you alot of heartache.

GL


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Offlinejobu
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Re: Need girl advice... [Re: The_Rastaman]
    #7378441 - 09/07/07 11:56 AM (16 years, 6 months ago)

This is my area of specialty. 

You two are obviously drawn to each other.  Lets start there.  When two people date they learn lessons from each other. People are drawn together energetically for reasons that we cannot see.  But I guarantee only self growth can come of any relationship with another, whether it turns out "bad" or "good".  Its always good.  My advice to both of you is to shut your brains down and open your hearts and stop fighting it.  Your idea of what you want or what is best for you is all in your head and its all bullshit.

You might be able to tap into her view of life and how she reacts to it with deep spiritual beliefs and without the use of drugs.  Sometimes church girls have a ton of fun naturally and are very free people.  It might rub off and you may learn to trip out in nature and society without taking anything. 

She might learn from you to get rid of her pre-judgments about drugs and people that use them and maybe grasp some of your more spiritual beliefs rather than the weak ass laws of organized religion. 

------------------------------------

If you go into it wanting to change her into your idea of a better person you will fail.  The only way to be successful in the relationship is to just fucking appreciate her for what she is. Get to know her, get to love things about her and stay focused on them.  Do not focus on the things you "wish" she could be. 

You know what I mean.  More than physically there is something within her that you like and respect right?  Stay focused on that, enjoy each others company, don't try to control her or change her and you will have a great time together even if it doesn't last.

-----------------------------

Your young, you don't need to marry her, just learn what she has to offer to you. 

As far as the sex thing, your guessing.  A ton of church girls have sex.  She is young and probably will want to experiment a bit.  If you can't bang her maybe she loves sucking dick or takes pride in jacking her man off.  Wouldn't it be fun to find out?  You can always encourage her to do so through positive comments.  "I love it when you stroke it" etc.. There is also always the little game of "let me just stick the head in"!  ROFL  I have gotten laid more times from that little beauty in my life...

Be smart don't get her pregnant or your tied to her for life.  Stop thinking so seriously, have a loose relationship with her and make sure you still have time to hang with the boys. 

------------------------------
Before you get into it talk to her..

Be assertive and tell her that she will not change you and you don't want any guilt trips about any drugs you use or about your lifestyle.  Add that you will not use them when spending time with her.  Tell her you know who you are and are not looking for someone to "save, rescue or change" you.  Relay to her that the drugs you use don't impair your judgment of right and wrong and she has nothing to worry about as far as you being faithful.  Don't hide or lie about anything.  Tell her you do shrooms too,( don't tell her if you grow them :smile:).  Be sure to let her know that you realize that you may not be the best match for each other on paper but that there is something between the two of you and you would love to find out what it is and where it can take you. 

Basically I am saying to tell her everything you feel.  Its hard yes, but I know from experience that when you have nothing to hide from her you will maintain that freedom in life that you feel being single.  Be true to yourself first and always honest with her.  If she can't handle it she will let you know and let her know if it ever becomes to much that she is free to leave whenever.

If after that talk she is still into it and respects your strength and honesty then great, IT'S ON!  If she is to narrow minded and thinks she has the world figured out at 21-22 yrs old, then move on and ask that she doesn't call anymore.

You may be surprised when your fully honest with her, she might need to think it over for a day or two to decide.  But at least give her the chance to make the right decision before you toss her to the curb.  You never know, you guys might balance each other out perfectly.

Either way good luck and keep us posted.  -J


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Be the change that you wish to see - Ghandi

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