|
 Some of these posts are very old and might contain outdated information. You may wish to search for newer posts instead.
|
 Heretic Justin
Stranger
Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 54
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
|
 My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! 
#7312305 - 08/19/07 09:36 PM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Before I start I need to go into my history a little bit...
I suffer from paranoia and often have extreme anxiety... worrying what others think of me, them judging my every action, scrutinizing my appearance, intelligence, and social skills... or I used to anyways...
I've been this way for the last 4 years or so due to a bad highschool experience (I'm barely 20 now, sophomore in college).
Last year I started majorly smoking weed.. like 5 times a day with friends, so the anxiety isn't caused from cannabis use, but getting high often makes me more anxious... depending on the people around me.
Now I'll get to the real stuff... I had my first trip on "acid" (i suspect it might have been a DOx due to the 3 hour comeup and 14 hour trip) during the last week of school.
It changed my life, as many people have said of psychedelics...
From that point on, I became HUGELY interested into all psychedelics and pretty much researched nonstop ALL summer to know everything I could about them.
I've read...
LSD: My problem Child
The Psychedelic Experience (Tibetan Book of the Dead)
DMT: The Spirit Molecule
as well as read almost every single page on erowid
and browsing this site almost daily.
By the way, I have an extreme one track mind which probably added to that obsession.
Name anything about psychedelics and the mind and I probably know it
Ego death comes to mind
Anyways... so that's how my summer went, learning about psychedelics, psychology, the mind, plants, and being worried to hell of my mind.
I even had myself convinced I was semi-retarded for 2 weeks straight... that's how bad it was.
Well 2 nights ago something really unexpected happened while me and my buddy matt were shrooming... (3.5 grams each)
About 3 hours into the trip we decide we want to smoke some weed, but neither of us can drive!
So being the crafty people we are, we decide to call someone named "Charlie".
Charlie's dad sells pot out of his house all day, and charlie is a pretty popular kid on his own regardless. I've been to his house before, I've bought weed from his old man, and I've even tripped shrooms with the kid before, shrooms that I got him because I like sharing the luv.
anyways.... we ordered a 10 sack, schwag weed, 10 bux.
About 15 minutes later he shows up, and hell, I'm in a great mood, im shrooming and laughing hysterically about what type of booze bums drink with matt, so I invite charlie in to smoke a half bowl of weed and shrooms with us.
Well Charlie comes over with this scary motherfucker named Adam, both laughing in a mocking sort of way about us shrooming... and they look fucked up.
Red face, really hyper, bloodshot eyes.
Now lucky me, I know my drugs, these 2 are on a coke binge.
Whatever I think... they can do their thing I'll do mine... but just to make sure I ask them what they are on.
"Just some REAAAALLLLY good weed and alot of alcohol man"
I don't buy it for a second, so I ask again.
"No, really man whats up?"
Same answer, just "good weed"
right... whatever.
anyways... i get my bowl and my bag of shrooms to show it to them and ask if they want to smoke this half and half bowl.
I toss charlie the bag and before I know it he's rummaging through it and pulls out the biggest blue shroom stem and breaks it up into the first half of the bowl, slamming the glass pipe down on the glass table (this is when i reached out and grabbed my baggie of shrooms from him... can't lose sight of that, especially while im tripping).
"pack some bud into that" charlie says.
I respond, "Um didn't you come over with a 10 sack for us?"
"Oh, yea"
"You got change for a 20?" I ask
"Yea here man" says Adam and he pulls out his wallet looking for a 10.
This is when charlie pulled out the so called 10 sack.
(out pops a sandwhich bag which he dumps on my table.
Quickly he packs a little into the other half of the bowl.)
Adam has the 10 dollars and is trying to get my attention to swap it for my 20... but my gaze is fixed on something else.
I noticed the bag he pulled out is empty, and the weed on the table is like... a 1/4 of a gram, already broken up and mostly stems with a little bud attached... basically someones leftovers...
Not wanting to cause trouble, but not wanting to get fucked over I ignore adam as hes trying to exchange the money. I put my 20 in my pocket and light up the bowl trying to act casual and ignorant (this is what they expect of me... I'm tripping and they think I'm not going to be observant of whats going on)
The bowl goes around for about 3 rotations, between me, adam, charlie, and matt.
During this time everyone is laughing, enjoying themselves, etc...
I try to act like im enjoying myself too, that i don't have any idea what they are trying to do.
During the rotation I also catch them whispering to each other, but I say nothing. Matt says something but he is CLUELESS to what is going on, I can't exactly tell him either because there's no fucking way im leaving those 2 alone in my room... shit will go missing.
After the bowl is almost out, Adam once again brings up the money.
This is the moment of truth for me... Im peaking on some of the best mushrooms you can find and I have to call out someones shit trying to scam me. Add into the equation how paranoid and anxious I am, especially in social situations... this wasn't good.
I ask to see the baggie, acting like I didn't know they were going to try to sell us the shit lying on the table.
Adam, expecting me to just give up the money was taken aback for a second, looked at Charlie and goes
"I think it's there on the table"
("Great" I think, I gave them a chance to fix this and they still want to try fucking me over)
I get up, walk over to where this weed was dumped out, took one look at it and said thats not a 10 sack... its stems and its less than half a gram regardless.
Now, Charlie and Adam are looking at each other, trying to persuade me and matt that it's a good deal.
Matt, without even really examining the shit nods his head and tells me it's good. It's a shame he trusts these people, I wonder if they've fucked him over before.
Now, herd instinct is very powerful, most people will conform to an idea if enough people support it. Fitting in I guess.
I take a deep breath and tell them I can't pay anything for that, and start rolling a cigarette, totally ignoring them, hoping they'd get the picture. I even had to use my peripheral vision to make sure neither of them grabbed my pipe or anything...
Charlie quickly tried to apologize, adam stating how drunk he was, saying "I eyeballed that man, it looked like enough"
"Yea" I respond.
"Yo charlie i think it's time we head out" Adam said, as he reached out to shake my hand and apologize for the "misunderstanding"
"Sure thing" I said sharply.
Then they left, and I had a long talk with matt about trusting people, and what coke will do to someone. The comedown and reflection time of the trip was spent solely discussing the incident, how bad cocaine is, and how true friends are so important with all the scum out there.
What's hard to understand is... how did I work up the courage to stand up for myself? Any other time, even if I knew I was getting fucked over I would have just let it slide, blaming myself for the situation... especially if I was stoned from some bud...
Was this "The mushroom spirit speaking through me?"
Was this my subconscious? The true me? My ego was GONE during these events (I practice ego-death and rebirth)
regardless... this is what is really REALLY strange
It's been 2 days, and I've been anxiety free even in situations that would normally bring it out...
I'm amazingly more confident of myself...
My extreme interest and urge to research and talk about drugs has VANISHED.
My interest in drinking, smoking, even tripping to an extent has either disapeared or dimished vastly.
This is exactly the rebirth I was looking for when I dissected "The Tibetan Book of the Dead"!
This is how I want to live my life, without worry, with self confidence, with inner peace! I feel like I've finally achieved it somehow... I have what I want and even inside my body I feel a warm energy.
If this change is permanent... why should I trip anymore?
Why put that inner peace and tranquility in jeopardy for the sake of fun?
I tripped for self improvement and change... I'm worried if I keep tripping I might experience another change.. but in a negative way. Lose the way I am right now.
On the other hand, I could keep tripping and try to expand my mind as much as I can!
Could any experienced gurus out there please shed some insight for me? Don't tell me what to do... just throw down some personal wisdom and experiences please...
|
Helixx
Mood:Fragglerocked
 
Registered: 06/07/07
Posts: 1,623
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: Heretic Justin]
#7312331 - 08/19/07 09:44 PM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Heretic Justin said:just throw down some personal wisdom and experiences please...
you've already incorporated the lessons taught from your trip into your life, the harder part is not forgetting and not going back to your old ways.
edit: glad you found what you were looking for in your trip 
Edited by Helixx (08/19/07 09:46 PM)
|
 TripityDooDaDay
Prick
Registered: 09/14/06
Posts: 2,046
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: Helixx]
#7312387 - 08/19/07 10:04 PM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I've read this before.
|
Psilocin Dreams
PerpetuallyContaminated
Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 187
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: Helixx]
#7312388 - 08/19/07 10:04 PM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Dude, the first half of your story sounds exactly like me. I would have just given them the 10 bucks and said "fuck it"
I need to be more assertive.
|
Heretic Justin
Stranger
Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 54
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: TripityDooDaDay]
#7312557 - 08/19/07 11:06 PM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
TripityDooDaDay said:
I've read this before.
I hope you don't mean literally, because I just spent about an hour writing all of this out... if you mean a similar story I'd like to hear about it though.
umm also would future tripping be beneficial or negative?
|
TripityDooDaDay
Prick
Registered: 09/14/06
Posts: 2,046
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: Heretic Justin]
#7312625 - 08/19/07 11:34 PM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Probably just similar I'm sure but who knows where?
Quote:
future tripping be beneficial or negative?
Depends.
|
Heretic Justin
Stranger
Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 54
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: TripityDooDaDay]
#7312691 - 08/20/07 12:13 AM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Well in the end it's up to me what happens... but i'd still like to hear some opinions from more experienced people.
|
Chubba
Vape hungry
Registered: 07/05/07
Posts: 6,785
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! *DELETED* [Re: Heretic Justin]
#7312750 - 08/20/07 12:44 AM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Post deleted by ChubbaReason for deletion: Deleted
|
Heretic Justin
Stranger
Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 54
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: Chubba]
#7312792 - 08/20/07 01:01 AM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
in short terms... someone who i thought was a friend.. and also a close friend of my best buddy who tripped with me tried to scam me and my friend... now the money and the situation was dumb... but he came over with the intention of screwing us over because we were tripping.
I guess you can't really appreciate the events unless you were there, it's hard to write about every small detail...
maybe when someone who comes to your house all coked up and starts disrespecting your territory, you, and your intelligence tries to scam you to your face while your tripping you'll understand what I mean.
Just know that I gained what I wanted from tripping and im wondering if i keep tripping if I can lose what mushrooms have given me... peace of mind.
|
Chubba
Vape hungry
Registered: 07/05/07
Posts: 6,785
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! *DELETED* [Re: Heretic Justin]
#7312798 - 08/20/07 01:07 AM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Post deleted by ChubbaReason for deletion: Deleted
|
Floop
Stranger
Registered: 11/28/06
Posts: 179
Last seen: 15 years, 1 month
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: Chubba]
#7312826 - 08/20/07 01:28 AM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Chubba said:
In my experiences, the personality changes tend to fade if not completely dissapear over time... sometimes it takes a few days, sometimes a few months.
That being said, if you were indeed strongly changed by this trip, another trip could catapult you in another direction... that's how it has always been with me, it's like my slate is wiped clean each time, it's not a cumulative effect.
Well. I think psychedelics can show you the way. But making the changes is hard work.
You've probably heard the analogy of climbing up to the top of the mountain yourself or taking a helicopter and flying to the top for a sightseeing tour.
So the make the changes last you'll need to find ways to incorperate them into your daily life. Many find meditation to work great.
If this is succesfull the next trip can be as valuable as the one before.
--------------------
"The finest emotion of which we are capable is the mystic emotion. Herein lies the germ of all art and all true science. Anyone to whom this feeling is alien, who is no longer capable of wonderment and lives in a state of fear is a dead man. To know that what is impenatrable for us really exists and manifests itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, whose gross forms alone are intelligible to our poor faculties - this knowledge, this feeling ... that is the core of the true religious sent iment. In this sense, and in this sense alone, I rank myself amoung profoundly religious men."
-Albert Einstein
|
today mylove
Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 2,473
Last seen: 21 days, 19 hours
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: Heretic Justin]
#7312856 - 08/20/07 01:42 AM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Heretic Justin said:
in short terms... someone who i thought was a friend.. and also a close friend of my best buddy who tripped with me tried to scam me and my friend... now the money and the situation was dumb... but he came over with the intention of screwing us over because we were tripping.
I guess you can't really appreciate the events unless you were there, it's hard to write about every small detail...
maybe when someone who comes to your house all coked up and starts disrespecting your territory, you, and your intelligence tries to scam you to your face while your tripping you'll understand what I mean.
Just know that I gained what I wanted from tripping and im wondering if i keep tripping if I can lose what mushrooms have given me... peace of mind.
cokeheads are lame, what can ya do. keep on tripping.
Edited by today mylove (08/20/07 01:47 AM)
|
gbeatle
Stranger
Registered: 08/20/07
Posts: 51
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: today mylove]
#7313846 - 08/20/07 10:40 AM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
why do you care what people think about you so much lol? people have there own concerns and worries they dont care about you just be yourself and true to your self and have fun. life is fuckin short and in the end none of the bullshit matter the only things that matter are the good things. i've had mushroom trips like that before aswell
|
Heretic Justin
Stranger
Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 54
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: gbeatle]
#7313984 - 08/20/07 11:20 AM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
well, I know it's a problem... I know I shouldn't think that way... but usually I just do. This is why I drink, 1-2 beers seems to kill the problem rather nicely, but now that I'm feeling fine without anything I don't really need any drugs lol.
Oh, I've never taken anti-depressant pills or anti-anxiety pills.. I'm really against relying on drugs for daily life, especially when you can fix problems with self-psychotherapy ^_^
thanks for the good words though gbeatle.
|
Limerick
a moment ofclarity
Registered: 10/22/06
Posts: 656
Loc: the bark and below it
Last seen: 16 years, 4 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: gbeatle]
#7314505 - 08/20/07 02:13 PM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
gbeatle said:
why do you care what people think about you so much lol? people have there own concerns and worries they dont care about you just be yourself and true to your self and have fun. life is fuckin short and in the end none of the bullshit matter the only things that matter are the good things. i've had mushroom trips like that before aswell
easy for you to say. ever thought the person can't control it??
|
SCleROTiUM_LICK
ResearchedFiction Writer
Registered: 11/08/06
Posts: 884
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: Limerick]
#7324978 - 08/23/07 09:39 AM (16 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Maybe you looked down between your legs and hallucinated that you had balls?
Seriously though, mushrooms can lesson your inhibitions. You had something on your mind and, in the absence of those inhibitions, you acted on it.
Yes, you could change for the negative..... My advice would be to concentrate on your studies so that you can get a decent job making good money and you don't have to waste your precious communion with a sacrament bickering about a $10 bag of schwag.
I'm glad you feel changed. Go with it. Believe it. But, seriously, whatever drugs come to mean for you throughout your life, they are probably NEVER going to be an education or a paycheck. So keep school at the forefront for now.
--------------------
|
Merkin
neep.
Registered: 07/04/03
Posts: 27,537
Loc: Ass Flavoured Pie Factory
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: Heretic Justin]
#7541637 - 10/21/07 05:13 AM (16 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
--------------------
Wheels of cheese wheeels of cheeeeese!!!
|
Limerick
a moment ofclarity
Registered: 10/22/06
Posts: 656
Loc: the bark and below it
Last seen: 16 years, 4 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: SCleROTiUM_LICK]
#7541714 - 10/21/07 07:01 AM (16 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
SCleROTiUM_LICK said:
Seriously though, mushrooms can lesson your inhibitions. .
quoted for truth!
|
Audi0
have ur cake andbeat it 2
Registered: 06/27/02
Posts: 10,334
Loc: Dirty South !
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: Heretic Justin]
#7541744 - 10/21/07 07:32 AM (16 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
you smoke shrooms?
--------------------
|
Ego Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea
Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: Merkin]
#7541935 - 10/21/07 09:09 AM (16 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
So one minute he thinks he's a gansta that robs hippies, (thats real shitty BTW if you robbed my shit you'd have the beating of your life)
the next he's some spiritual warrior who's just plucking up the courage to say no to a shitty deal...
Justin do you realise the shroomeries for over 18's only? Maybe you should pay attention.
|
skroomadoom
master of theskroomaverse
Registered: 07/16/07
Posts: 428
Loc: GA
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: Audi0]
#7542075 - 10/21/07 10:00 AM (16 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
I've read this before.
So have I. I tried to look for where I'd read it before but I don't really have time right now as I've gotta be at work in like 30 minutes. But I distinctly remember reading a story like this, all the way down to the shady cokeheads and the 1/4 gram of shake and even the quote "just some REAALLY good weed". Maybe it was Heretic Justin posting this somewhere else, I'm not claiming he stole it, but given his obvious lack of morality (stealing $1000s of dollars worth of drugs from a bunch of hippies that didn't do anything to him) I wouldn't be surprised.
Again, if I'm mistaken I certainly DO apologize, but frankly I really doubt that I am.
Oh and -5 stars for stealing from those hippies.
|
redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,173
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: Ego Death]
#7542147 - 10/21/07 10:27 AM (16 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
it's just masks
each mask has various attributes
what you particularly like about the face you wore with the cokeheads was the confidence and ease.
those are great attributes to access, and to combine with any expression of self (mask).
the thing about mind - personality - and about masks is associative-nature.
it's all about connections. ( what happenned together, or what is simmilar to another thing )
The sloppy habit we use is to validate thinking in terms of streams:
things are not considered real unless they were there a minute ago. and if something was there a minute ago it is considered more real than something that just pops up.
flow based experience is considered real or reality sustaining - trusted.
masks with "paranoid" attributes will question the reality of something in the stream, against the mental stream dynamics.
what you have learned in this trip is not a new routine or a new you (forever) but that a mask can be adopted instantly with attributes that were not in the stream already (though deeper in your memory/heart), the stream can have altogether new content in an instant, and it can be very good to have this switch of content.
so where you go with this is to immerse in moments with ease, and confidence (not bravado) and be familiar with it. connect yourself with the inner peace that you found, it was always there, it always will be, always ready to pop up and be part of any current expression (mask).
----------------------------------------------------------
the arbitrariness of mental contents makes some people go mad, all this time the stream was considered real, and things only of value as they relate to the stream that has been established, but really it can go any way at all - at any moment (-sound a bit like schizophrenia, but it is fundamental, not mental as anything).
any image can pop up complete with attributes that were not there an instant before.
this should be a source of tremendous confidence - knowing that the attributes you need are already in you. you can hang looser because of knowing it ,seeing it.
you can sidestep doubt about yourself.
it is not easy to keep one eye opened onto the reality of associative mental functions.
I think this cognitive attitude is well engrained in you, at least well started.
--------------------
 _  🧠_ 
|
TripityDooDaDay
Prick
Registered: 09/14/06
Posts: 2,046
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: skroomadoom]
#7542276 - 10/21/07 11:03 AM (16 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
You may have read it here. This is an old thread. When I posted that though I had recently read it somewhere else. I think erowid. May not have been word for word and possibly could have been a coincidence but I don't think so. The story was fresh in my mind at the time. The OP is full of BS anyway so... It's a waste.
|
blacksun
Registered: 09/02/06
Posts: 1,390
Loc: United Kingdom
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: TripityDooDaDay]
#7542623 - 10/21/07 12:42 PM (16 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Ive had a similar experience to you, its a pretty strong confrontation but when your tripping its something completely different.
I wouldnt be worried about wanting to trip again or not. Because if it happens it happens, if you feel fulfilled already then im guessing your going to have a break from psychedelics/drugs for a while, and maybe return to them again one day, or maybe you will be munching on mushrooms next weekend.
Take whichever path you want 
--------------------
uarewotueat - "Libs are messy as hell, I don't know whether to take a shit or get a haircut when I'm on them!"
|
AlCapwn
ID Reset, take that subpoena
Registered: 02/03/07
Posts: 2,957
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
|
Re: My Personality changing trip... cokeheads are about! [Re: Ego Death]
#7542782 - 10/21/07 01:21 PM (16 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
That post was a joke, Heretic didn't really steal those drugs. I saw that post on 4chan and 7chan, and one of them he was pretending to have eaten tons of acid.
--------------------
Huuuuurrrrrr!
|
|
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
Edit 
Reply 
1 2 all )
chronny
Galvie_Flu
Spiffy
optikal_trip
Trip_Out_7
