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JonnyOnTheSpot
Sober Surfer


Registered: 01/27/02
Posts: 11,527
Loc: North Carolina
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my idiot loser friends
#7254488 - 08/03/07 06:10 AM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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i've got some really dumb friends i'm afraid. I'm talking mostly about all my good friends from high school. we've done well keeping in touch which i think is a really cool thing because we grew up together and shared a lot of interesting experiences in the past, and i've always thought it would be a good thing to keep in touch with the people who knew me during that part of my life. i've always been a pretty loyal friend i guess, and i've tried to continue that as i've gotten older and i've tried to be as helpful as i can, as a friend should do imo. these days though i'm starting to wonder if i should just throw up my arms, cut my losses, and just move on without them. most of them are hardcore drug addicts unfortunately.
it's sad that i can generalize their situations, but that's pretty much the case here. things have just gotten bad for them all in the past couple of years. i have one friend who's been addicted to crack for awhile now and i've done basically everything i can think of to try and help him get away from his addiction and avoid prison. he'd actually probably be in prison for a long time if i hadn't convinced him not to run from his charges. i've tried to keep him in the loop with at least semi-normal friends of mine so he can have a more positive environment surrounding him, and see that there is something else to live for and something else to do besides crack. i even let him move into my house and crash on my couch for awhile so he could escape the black hole of a town that was fucking him up so bad. i wanted him to get away from all the other junkies and be around positive level headed people so he could start over. it didn't work of course, and my roommate kicked him off the couch and he went out to hit rock bottom yet again. i've been trying to help him get his shit together for damn near a year and a half. he's been to prison and rehab and he knows what's wrong but he's unwilling to actually stick with it or he's just completely incapable. it makes me very sad because i don't think there's anything else i can do for him. there's certainly nothing else i can say to him because i think i've said it all.
i guess i'm really starting to think about washing my hands of these guys since my other friend just recently pissed me off sooo bad. this guy has been addicted to heroin AND crack for awhile now, and he managed to compile a huge list of of serious charges for which he'd have spent 5-6 years in prison if his mom hadn't nearly gone broke hiring this bad ass attorney for him. he got 90 days in rehab, and a few years of probation, and he was damn lucky to get that even with his miracle attorney and all the priors he had. i was really excited for him and hopeful that this would finally be the time he got his shit together and woke up. instead he spent his 90 days in the rehab program and one fucking day later was using again! i was just in pure shock and anger. i'm still baffled by it.
there's another guy too with a similar story, but those two examples should give you the idea. it's pretty fucked up. i'm just not really sure what to do here. i feel embarrassed to consort with them a lot of the time, but at the same time i feel like friends shouldn't just give up on one another, as corny as that may sound to some of you. i also know that, in at least one case, if i give up trying to help then there really won't be anyone else who gives a shit and the guy will pretty much just be doomed i think.
i guess i'm just sort of wondering what you guys might do in this situation. probably say "fuck those guys" which i guess you'd be right to say, but you have to remember these were some of my best friends for awhile and i'd feel guilty just saying 'fuckem'. i'm not really sure at what point you're supposed to do that to people you care about, you know? i have no idea how to help these stupid friends of mine though.
thankfully i still got a couple high school friends who have their shit together, and they're worried and saddened as well, although they aren't quite as compassionate as i am probably.
does anyone have any advice on dealing with friends like these, or a similar sort of situation?
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AroundtheSon
Learning to See



Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 4,427
Loc: Midwest.
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Never wait up for people. Keep moving forward.
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n2dEePe
ChefBoyRD
Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 200
Loc: in a cave
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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those aren't friends...control the dope and not vise versa
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JonnyOnTheSpot
Sober Surfer


Registered: 01/27/02
Posts: 11,527
Loc: North Carolina
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Quote:
AroundtheSon said: Never wait up for people. Keep moving forward.
i am moving forward, i'm not letting their bullshit slow down my ambitions and goals. soon i'll probably be moving out of state at which point i will not see any of them very much, but i wish i could help them get their shit straight before i go. i just feel bad for them, and i'd hate to just give up on these guys when they're at the the lowest points of their lives. that's just a shitty thing to do i think.
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AroundtheSon
Learning to See



Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 4,427
Loc: Midwest.
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You can't fix anyone brother.
Remember to live and let live.
Frankly, I can barely take care of myself, so its honorable that you would want to help them, but they will find it in their own time. Its the way its always been.
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nakors_junk_bag
Lobster Bisque


Registered: 11/23/04
Posts: 2,415
Loc: ethereality
Last seen: 15 years, 10 months
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Do what you gotta do, they will either grow up or continue to writhe around in their own miserable shit, year after year.
-------------------- Asshole
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nakors_junk_bag
Lobster Bisque


Registered: 11/23/04
Posts: 2,415
Loc: ethereality
Last seen: 15 years, 10 months
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On a nother note. I move to Raleigh Monday. Woot.
-------------------- Asshole
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sublime40oz
Traveler
Registered: 09/24/04
Posts: 1,755
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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If it makes you feel any better I cut ties from a similiar situation and moved halfway accross the country. Don't get me wrong, I tried, but being that condescending asshole only flies for so long. Some of those guys I left are dead now, but, I tried and I know that. Only the individual can want to change, and those who don't can't be helped. All I can do now is wait for the next phonecall about one of those guys, I'll still shed a tear for them, but you get what you ask for.
-------------------- Beyond the gray sky
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Hyper_Panda_GO
Team Action!


Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 9,720
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
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Kill them with fire
-------------------- There is no valid reason you should be reading this
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Iron_Hymen
Shake Hands withBeef



Registered: 02/02/06
Posts: 856
Loc: Mass-of-two-shits
Last seen: 16 years, 1 day
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Let them face the danger and consequences on their own, and they'll soon realize what a fool they have been and what a helping hand of a brotha' you came out to be. Man i respect you haha!
--------------------
 #1 reason organized religion should be done away with. It's a message, and one that is open to speculation. "Pray your own prayers and talk to God on your own.He doesn't want a fucking parrot, and he doesn't want a sheep" GnuBobo:Iron. Hymen. Vitamin. Be Iron, like Hymen, in Vitamin. Iron. Hymen. Vitamin.
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Left Nut City
Stranger


Registered: 03/27/01
Posts: 2,360
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Unless you want to adopt the same lifestyle as your friends you have no choice but to dump them.
Successful people rarely have loser friends.
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Gr33nTree73



Registered: 05/23/06
Posts: 4,095
Loc: 585/843
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Quote:
AroundtheSon said: Never wait up for people. Keep moving forward.
I agree, esp in this situation and it happens to everyone once they are out of school... some people just dont grow up and life remains nothing but solid partying, when it becomes a problem the relationships are often effected the most.
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DIRTYMAN
Jesusdon'tcomethrough thecotton.

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 18,558
Loc: CZ NIGGUH
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Quote:
i guess i'm just sort of wondering what you guys might do in this situation. probably say "fuck those guys" which i guess you'd be right to say, but you have to remember these were some of my best friends for awhile and i'd feel guilty just saying 'fuckem'. i'm not really sure at what point you're supposed to do that to people you care about, you know? i have no idea how to help these stupid friends of mine though.
It's not your fault these idiots keep on fucking up their lives - I would cut my ties with them if they don't want your help.
Quote:
Left Nut City said: Unless you want to adopt the same lifestyle as your friends you have no choice but to dump them.
Successful people rarely have loser friends.
That's a ridiculously stupid statement that I disagree with 100%.
-------------------- I'm racist. http://k-k-k.com/
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Left Nut City
Stranger


Registered: 03/27/01
Posts: 2,360
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Re: my idiot loser friends [Re: DIRTYMAN]
#7258730 - 08/04/07 10:43 AM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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How is it ridiculous? Seriously, if you don't want to get involved in the lifestyle that the friends have now adopted, especially if it is nonsense, does it not make sense to avoid hanging with them?
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