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OfflineSiekoaktiv
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Registered: 03/18/07
Posts: 1,337
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
I hate how I act...
    #7230274 - 07/27/07 01:46 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

I used to take Zoloft for ODC, but I stopped because I hated what it did to me... it destroyed my creativity, and gave me the emotional range of a toothbrush. I've been alot more creative since then, and I feel more pure, like there's no chemical altering my being. But now, I just get hung up about the tinest things. Right now, it's my garden; it was so clean, until I put my Kratom plant in there. Later I found that it was infested with some sort of scale, so I took it out and put it in my bathroom, temporarally, just until I could spray it. Well, I went overboard, keeping it in there for 3 days, spraying it over and over again, keeping it without light. When I put it back in the grow room, nearly 10 of its leaves just fel off at the slightest touch (when I was checking it for any more scales). Now, I have this strong feeling that my garden is contaminated, even though it was most likely the same before I put the Kratom plant in. And no matter how much I try to ignore it, I have this strong fear that my Kratom plant will die. :what:


--------------------
I'm in need of a sterile sporeprint, if anyone wants to do a trade for some seeds or something, or maybe just for free if you have a lot of them............. i'd really appreciate it :mushroom2:

NuggetPorch said - "YES! YES!!!! Coaster its Faint, but its fucking there YOU see it!!! Perhaps we are both on some sort of unusual wave length associated with unusual neuro-transmitters, mind expansion white light, or something we can not even begin to understand or fathom to conceive because it is a gift of insight or a curse given to us by powers beyond our control, something we are not meant to know."


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InvisibleKnifey Mcstab
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Posts: 4,846
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Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Siekoaktiv]
    #7230278 - 07/27/07 01:47 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

That is quite obsessive! I guess it's something you'll have to work out on your own. Learn to chill out and accept that nothing is perfect.


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OfflinePinballWizard
Naive and Gullible as usual

Registered: 03/20/04
Posts: 2,804
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Siekoaktiv]
    #7230312 - 07/27/07 01:57 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

I think everyone is obsessive, but most people learn to cope, forget, and not care. One thing that has helped me not worry about things as much is facing my fears, in your case, maybe throwing your plant away would help. I'm very obsessive about my physical possessions, where they are, what state they are in etc... Accepting that you can't be in control of everything will help you not to worry so much.


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Invisiblerod
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Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Siekoaktiv]
    #7230343 - 07/27/07 02:05 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

You just have to accept it, I have a weird obsession
with everything in my place having to be spotless.
But strange I could careless about my truck. :cuckoo:


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OfflineSiekoaktiv
version 2.0
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Registered: 03/18/07
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Re: I hate how I act... [Re: rod]
    #7230413 - 07/27/07 02:25 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

rod said:
You just have to accept it, I have a weird obsession
with everything in my place having to be spotless.
But strange I could careless about my truck. :cuckoo:




Yeah, some things I'm really up tight about, and others I could care less...

And throwing it out isn't an option; I'm not the type of person to just waste money... plus, I love Kratom, I was able to get a bit of a buzz from the leaves that fell off... :biggrin:


--------------------
I'm in need of a sterile sporeprint, if anyone wants to do a trade for some seeds or something, or maybe just for free if you have a lot of them............. i'd really appreciate it :mushroom2:

NuggetPorch said - "YES! YES!!!! Coaster its Faint, but its fucking there YOU see it!!! Perhaps we are both on some sort of unusual wave length associated with unusual neuro-transmitters, mind expansion white light, or something we can not even begin to understand or fathom to conceive because it is a gift of insight or a curse given to us by powers beyond our control, something we are not meant to know."


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Offlinesublimistri
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Registered: 11/21/04
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Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Siekoaktiv]
    #7230463 - 07/27/07 02:47 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Man that would completely suck. I have been looking for a kratom cutting the cheapest i seen was 25 bucks. It looks like a plant/tree? that i would like to grow. Best of luck to your plant. You should try taking pictures and posting it in the ethno thread, its possible it may have a nute deficiancy causing the leaves to maybe yellow and fall off easy. Now that i reread your post, what do you mean infested by a scale?

-sub


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Tradelist
My Ethnobotanical Garden
Cup Greenhouse Tek. Make small sturdy pots (With detachable grenhouse tops) with cups.


Your human friend will have to dose atropine uninformed, I will not spread information that may harm a cat. - Wiccan_Seeker


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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?


Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Siekoaktiv]
    #7230517 - 07/27/07 03:07 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Yeah, I'm not a big fan of the chemical-lobotomy...

History is full of very creative people who were "crazy" and that's not necessarily a bad thing...

I'm not sure we'd really care who Van Gogh, Beethoven, or Jack Kerouac were if they had been on Prozac™, Zoloft™, or Elavil™, because, frankly, their work would probably have sucked major bronto-dong...

It's complicated...

But life is full of pain and suffering, it's part of the overall balance of things, and I'm not sure that it's good to try and fuck with that balance if you can function on some sort of basic level....

I don't know...

I dunno...

I da ho...

It's complicated...


--------------------


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Siekoaktiv]
    #7230613 - 07/27/07 03:33 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Siekoaktiv said:
I used to take Zoloft




bad juju, never trust the doctors

Quote:

But now, I just get hung up about the tiniest  things. Right now, it's my garden ignore it
I have this strong fear that my Kratom plant will die. :what:




make use of this OCD super power you were given, train yourself to be aware of
what you're doing, force yourself to walk away and find something better to do,
put it out of your mind. you need to break a cycle of conditioning. review your
upbringing, how did this behavior start? surely you weren't always a compulsive

if you keep trying to help that Kratom, it will surely die


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OfflineAmber_Glow
Sat Chit Anand


Registered: 09/02/02
Posts: 1,543
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Siekoaktiv]
    #7230791 - 07/27/07 04:31 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

So your Kratom plant is dying? Sorry to hear that. I guess you will have to order a new one. Better luck with that one. Have a good day!


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OfflineSiekoaktiv
version 2.0
Male


Registered: 03/18/07
Posts: 1,337
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #7230801 - 07/27/07 04:35 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:

Siekoaktiv said:
I used to take Zoloft




bad juju, never trust the doctors

Quote:

But now, I just get hung up about the tiniest  things. Right now, it's my garden ignore it
I have this strong fear that my Kratom plant will die. :what:




make use of this OCD super power you were given, train yourself to be aware of
what you're doing, force yourself to walk away and find something better to do,
put it out of your mind. you need to break a cycle of conditioning. review your
upbringing, how did this behavior start? surely you weren't always a compulsive

if you keep trying to help that Kratom, it will surely die




Yeah, it seems that whenever I try to help something, it ends up breaking/dying... for instance, a long time ago, I got a CD for my birthday, from a friend. The CD case had a sticker on it, and after I pulled it off, it left a sticky residue, and it bothered me so much... I tried a bunch of things to get it off, and eventually, the plastic just cracked in half. The CD was fine, but it didn't have a case anymore...

"surely you weren't always compulsive"
Actually, I pretty much have been... not about everything, but about certain things, throughout life... My parents told me of a time when I was about 5 years old, and I had a little chalkboard I got for christmas. One day, we were about to go on vacation, and we had all of our stuff in the hall, including my chalkboard. It just so happened that my baby sisters new diapers (still in the bag they came in, with the plastic wrap on them) touched my chalkboard briefly. Just the fact that something that would eventually come in contact to feces touched something of mine freaked me out. I ended up scrubbing it off with a dirty dishrag. :crazy2:


--------------------
I'm in need of a sterile sporeprint, if anyone wants to do a trade for some seeds or something, or maybe just for free if you have a lot of them............. i'd really appreciate it :mushroom2:

NuggetPorch said - "YES! YES!!!! Coaster its Faint, but its fucking there YOU see it!!! Perhaps we are both on some sort of unusual wave length associated with unusual neuro-transmitters, mind expansion white light, or something we can not even begin to understand or fathom to conceive because it is a gift of insight or a curse given to us by powers beyond our control, something we are not meant to know."


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OfflineAmber_Glow
Sat Chit Anand


Registered: 09/02/02
Posts: 1,543
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Siekoaktiv]
    #7230812 - 07/27/07 04:38 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

You are overthinking these things way too much.

Your kratom plant died.

You broke a CD case.

That's all. No more.


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Offlinewrestler_az
PsiLLy BiLLy
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Registered: 08/11/02
Posts: 13,098
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Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Siekoaktiv]
    #7230836 - 07/27/07 04:45 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

i hear mushrooms can help with your symptoms

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16304852/


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?


Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Siekoaktiv]
    #7230874 - 07/27/07 04:59 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Siekoaktiv said:
... for instance, a long time ago, I got a CD for my birthday, from a friend. The CD case had a sticker on it, and after I pulled it off, it left a sticky residue, and it bothered me so much... I tried a bunch of things to get it off, and eventually, the plastic just cracked in half. The CD was fine, but it didn't have a case anymore...




Actually, I hate that sticky-ass label goo, as well. The key is to go down to the office supply store and get some Rubber Cement Thiner. It will take that stuff right off, and not harm the plastic. Just don't breathe too much of it, as it's pretty toxic in long-exposures...

But, yeah, try not to sweat the little things. Life is imperfect at best. The best thing to do is to just pay it no mind, and let it flow off you, like water off a duck's back...


--------------------


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OfflineSiekoaktiv
version 2.0
Male


Registered: 03/18/07
Posts: 1,337
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: I hate how I act... [Re: wrestler_az]
    #7230914 - 07/27/07 05:14 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

wrestler_az said:
i hear mushrooms can help with your symptoms

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16304852/




That's interesting... well, it sucks that I have yet to find any mushrooms in my area...


--------------------
I'm in need of a sterile sporeprint, if anyone wants to do a trade for some seeds or something, or maybe just for free if you have a lot of them............. i'd really appreciate it :mushroom2:

NuggetPorch said - "YES! YES!!!! Coaster its Faint, but its fucking there YOU see it!!! Perhaps we are both on some sort of unusual wave length associated with unusual neuro-transmitters, mind expansion white light, or something we can not even begin to understand or fathom to conceive because it is a gift of insight or a curse given to us by powers beyond our control, something we are not meant to know."


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Papaver]
    #7230928 - 07/27/07 05:21 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Papaver said:
Actually, I hate that sticky-ass label goo, as well.





yeah... pretty much everyone hates that stuff, zippo fluid (naptha) will remove it.


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InvisibleTripityDooDaDay
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Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #7230971 - 07/27/07 05:38 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

I've dealt with minor OCD when I was much younger. No one can tell you how to deal with it. It's just another one of those things that you have to learn to deal with in your own way and time. Unless it's extremely destructive to your life I certainly wouldn't recommend meds either.

Zoloft is bad news IMO. Very bad news. After being on it for a couple of weeks I spent 2 or 3 days balled up in a ball on the couch. All I really remember was that I felt very bad. I don't even remember exactly how I felt I just remember it was bad.

A doc had given it to me trying to help me with a severe panic and anxiety disorder. I eventually gave up on meds and in time overcame it on my own. Those days are like a long remembered nightmare now. I wouldn't wish such a condition on anyone.

I have one friend who is OCD. I love it when she stays over and gets messed up with us. She will clean my whole house even if it's already clean. When done she will do it over again a time or two. My wife never cleans with anything I'd call an obsession. lol


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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?


Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #7230975 - 07/27/07 05:39 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:

Papaver said:
Actually, I hate that sticky-ass label goo, as well.





yeah... pretty much everyone hates that stuff, zippo fluid (naptha) will remove it.




Actually, I hear tell, that there's a small but dedicated group of sexual deviants who actually get an erotic charge from trying to remove that sticky label goo...

Sometimes they'll get together and rent a Walmart for the night and run around in big fluffy squirrel-suits with solvents and remove labels all night and video tape the action...

But then, I guess, there's a fetish for everything... :smirk:


--------------------


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OfflineSiekoaktiv
version 2.0
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Registered: 03/18/07
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Re: I hate how I act... [Re: TripityDooDaDay]
    #7231011 - 07/27/07 05:53 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

TripityDooDaDay said:
After being on it for a couple of weeks I spent 2 or 3 days balled up in a ball on the couch. All I really remember was that I felt very bad. I don't even remember exactly how I felt I just remember it was bad.




That's exactly how I felt... that's why I stopped taking it...

But anyway, I have a lot of fears... I'll have really bad panic attacks every now and then, but they pass after a few minutes. My friends think it's strange that I'm afraid of almost everything EXEPT tripping. I'm not even slightly afraid of having a bad trip someday, but just the thought of touching the door of a public bathroom makes me shudder with fear...


--------------------
I'm in need of a sterile sporeprint, if anyone wants to do a trade for some seeds or something, or maybe just for free if you have a lot of them............. i'd really appreciate it :mushroom2:

NuggetPorch said - "YES! YES!!!! Coaster its Faint, but its fucking there YOU see it!!! Perhaps we are both on some sort of unusual wave length associated with unusual neuro-transmitters, mind expansion white light, or something we can not even begin to understand or fathom to conceive because it is a gift of insight or a curse given to us by powers beyond our control, something we are not meant to know."


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Papaver]
    #7231160 - 07/27/07 06:23 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

you dont want to know what I've seen done to bowling shoes


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Re: I hate how I act... [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #7231167 - 07/27/07 06:24 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

lets suffice to say that I was shocked and outraged when I saw me doing 'it'


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