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Offlinemunchi
******phfyl******

Registered: 06/22/02
Posts: 977
Loc: nm
Last seen: 18 years, 2 days
life?
    #722506 - 07/04/02 11:52 AM (21 years, 2 months ago)

The thought of life makes me sick
Life is sick
Life is pointless
Life is what you make
Life is whatever you want it be
Real or not
You have or you don?t
Why have it, but then why not
Religion is fucked up
People are fucked up
What if god is real and what he says is true
Does it matter?
Should any of us matter?
I don?t want to live forever
I don?t want to die
What am I - and for what selfish reason was I created
Out of love
I am but bones and flesh
Am I alone seeing everything everyone else doesn?t?
People say it doesn?t matter as long as you?re happy
Happy is just an emotion like sad or angry
Should it matter what emotion I have
Life IS what you make it
So then what have I made it?
Nothing
Nothing to me
Do people matter at all?
Should anything else
I will soon die and be nothing
And what then what
What was it for?
Nothing I meant nothing
Should it matter if I even did?
Life is like a big black whole
You never see anything and you just keep falling
I want to say I don?t know, but I do
Life hurts so bad it?s full of disappointment and death
People rape each other and kill they do disgusting things, there?s violence everywhere
Everywhere I look there something bad
Even inside of me
I hate to never sleep then when I finally do I wake up to nothing , I know exactly what ill be doing tomorrow and the day after that and week after that and a year after that
Ill be somewhere feeling the same way knowing where I was going
What?s the point of life, to be the best you can to live forever in a paradise on earth
Why would I want to live forever with nothing?
With nobody
But why would I kill myself, to kill something so beautiful so remarkable
???
Really all life is ?is nothing? but people live on because there confused and don?t know where to turn, some people turn to god some don?t.
I?m so sad
And I feel so hurt............
I don?t want to live and I don?t want to die
I?ll wonder this earth my whole life with nothing not knowing what to do then I?ll finally die and it will all be over



any coments??


--------------------
What dreaming does is give us the fluidity to enter into other
worlds by destroying our sense of knowing this world.


Edited by munchi (07/04/02 12:02 PM)


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OfflineShroomalicious
You may say I'ma dreamer...

Registered: 06/20/02
Posts: 319
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 20 years, 9 months
Re: life? [Re: munchi]
    #722539 - 07/04/02 12:06 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

I quite enjoy life. I just think it is fun. There is a lot to learn and a lot to enjoy. I enjoy you!


--------------------
Shroomalicious - :smile: I love you and in doing so I love myself, because we ARE all one :smile: - "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves the whole world blind and toothless". - Mahatma Ghandi


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OfflineAnimalChin
member

Registered: 08/22/01
Posts: 194
Loc: US of A
Last seen: 19 years, 7 months
Re: life? [Re: munchi]
    #722550 - 07/04/02 12:10 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

You could complain that The roses have thorns or you could be glad because thorns have roses. Chill. Oh and, Hi .


--------------------
A Bird in the hand is Dead.


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Offlinemunchi
******phfyl******

Registered: 06/22/02
Posts: 977
Loc: nm
Last seen: 18 years, 2 days
Re: life? [Re: Shroomalicious]
    #722571 - 07/04/02 12:22 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)


I agree life is very beautiful , and brilliant , full of pleasure and excitement, love and creativity, emotion and feeling , depth , taste , touch , its like a miracle , its so complex and delicate , it must be treated with intense care and love . Beautiful smells, life is wonderful I agree, but you have to think beyond that. I have to wonder what it?s all for and what the hell was god thinking when he made us!!!!

These things listed above aren?t always what life is. There are so many things that are sad and sickening. Think what if someone you loved deeply was kidnapped and raped through his /her ass and beaten to death, chopped to little pieces and thrown on your bed. People do this kind of shit, and it scares me. It could happen to me or you any second. But I also try not to think too much of these things, because there not always good to think about. But I also believe that since there is nothing I can do about this life and this world I am living in I should try to be happy and only do what makes me happy. But this is not easy. I can?t smoke marajuana my whole life and shroom, doing these things is really only running away from my problems.


--------------------
What dreaming does is give us the fluidity to enter into other
worlds by destroying our sense of knowing this world.


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OfflineAnimalChin
member

Registered: 08/22/01
Posts: 194
Loc: US of A
Last seen: 19 years, 7 months
Re: life? [Re: munchi]
    #722583 - 07/04/02 12:29 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

And what problems might those be ? lol


--------------------
A Bird in the hand is Dead.


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Offlinemunchi
******phfyl******

Registered: 06/22/02
Posts: 977
Loc: nm
Last seen: 18 years, 2 days
Re: life? [Re: AnimalChin]
    #722589 - 07/04/02 12:32 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

What problems................
The ones where I feel alone and lost my whole life
Or the fact this world will soon end and there will be nothing
Or where you referring to something else


--------------------
What dreaming does is give us the fluidity to enter into other
worlds by destroying our sense of knowing this world.


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InvisibleRebelSteve33
Amateur Mycologist
Male

Registered: 05/28/02
Posts: 3,774
Loc: Arizona
Re: life? [Re: munchi]
    #722591 - 07/04/02 12:34 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

I definitely agree with the people here who say life is beautiful and worth living... And yes, life is just plain fun.

Sometimes.

I also agree with you and your poem though, munchi. Life can be sick, sad, depressing, and sometimes just plain scary. But of course it is important to try and focus on the good things... On being happy and enjoying life and living it to its fullest. Doing shrooms has actually given me a real lust for life that I have never had before. I never thought a fungus could do that for me, but it is something I am deeply thankful for.

Here is a poem I wrote a while ago, before being introduced to the magic of mushrooms:

Life is nothing
but escaping the cold,
trying to keep warm,
and seeking shelter
from the storm.
Life is nothing
but getting ugly and old,
running from the pain,
gritting your teeth,
just trying to stay sane.
Life is nothing

Nothing happened
but what you remember,
random memories in your head.
Nothing happened
but what you remember,
your memory goes and then your dead.
Nothing happened

Now I tend to think differently though. Life is amazing, beautiful and wonderful. We just need to remember to focus on these aspects of life instead of getting bogged down by the bad parts

RS



--------------------
Namaste.


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Offlinemunchi
******phfyl******

Registered: 06/22/02
Posts: 977
Loc: nm
Last seen: 18 years, 2 days
Re: life? [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #722592 - 07/04/02 12:38 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

thank you very much for trying to help me out ... hut i dont htink my view of life will ever change . i could eat mushrooms my whole life but i cant do that . iv just been so pissed off lately . mostly at discusting porn . but also at life.


--------------------
What dreaming does is give us the fluidity to enter into other
worlds by destroying our sense of knowing this world.


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InvisibleRebelSteve33
Amateur Mycologist
Male

Registered: 05/28/02
Posts: 3,774
Loc: Arizona
Re: life? [Re: munchi]
    #722594 - 07/04/02 12:40 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

The ones where I feel alone and lost my whole life
Or the fact this world will soon end and there will be nothing

These sound like fears to me, not problems. In my opinion, most fear is completely irrational and only serves to make our lives less worth living. Of course, fear of something that could cause you bodily harm, death, or some sort of trouble or pain is understandable.

But what are those fears that you listed serving to do? Nothing but make you worry, make you sad, and make you feel that life is bad. To be truly happy and be able to enjoy life to its fullest, we must learn to control fears of this type. Push them from your head and laugh at them, knowing that you are making a great improvement on your life and your emotional well-being.

Fears like those are just not worth it.

RS


--------------------
Namaste.


Edited by RebelSteve33 (07/04/02 12:42 PM)


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Offlinemunchi
******phfyl******

Registered: 06/22/02
Posts: 977
Loc: nm
Last seen: 18 years, 2 days
Re: life? [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #722602 - 07/04/02 12:45 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

i am scared
im scared of what will become of me and the people i love
and im scared mostly of death

i do push these to the back of my head
but theres always there and sometimes they just come out


--------------------
What dreaming does is give us the fluidity to enter into other
worlds by destroying our sense of knowing this world.


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InvisibleRebelSteve33
Amateur Mycologist
Male

Registered: 05/28/02
Posts: 3,774
Loc: Arizona
Re: life? [Re: munchi]
    #722605 - 07/04/02 12:46 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

I wasn't suggesting doing mushrooms your whole life as a way to help at all... I was just saying that doing mushrooms has opened up a door in my mind that allowed me to see how truly wonderful life is.

I don't need to do mushrooms my whole life because that door has been opened, and as long as I remember that lesson it will remain opened whether I continue to do mushrooms or not.

It's all about learning from your experiences, and most of all, remembering the lessons you have learned so that you can use them to improve yourself and make your life better. IMHO

RS


--------------------
Namaste.


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Offlinemunchi
******phfyl******

Registered: 06/22/02
Posts: 977
Loc: nm
Last seen: 18 years, 2 days
Re: life? [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #722615 - 07/04/02 12:52 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)



oh im sorry if I seemed to imply that that?s what you said , I was being dramatic , sorry , I meant that I just cant not think about this I have to until I get everything right .


--------------------
What dreaming does is give us the fluidity to enter into other
worlds by destroying our sense of knowing this world.


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OfflineAmoeba665
strange
Registered: 05/23/00
Posts: 275
Loc: a hidden microutopia at t...
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
Re: life? [Re: munchi]
    #722617 - 07/04/02 12:54 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

i agree completely ! i can find immense awe and beauty in the simplest, most base experiences (and i do) - but that doesn't change some fundamental facts, for example, that suffering exists in immense amounts, that the circumstances of our lives are quite largely outside of our control, that we don't really know who we are, where we are from, or where we are going, that life on earth appears flawed and existence is a paradox (or, more likely, our reason is flawed).

but that's life - make the best of it - nothing matters - yet - some life circumstances are certainly preferrable to other life circumstances - find your preferences, plan for your future. thats what i try to do anyway.

chaos AND order. holding hands in perfect harmony, like two lovers on a warm summer day! after summer, winter, and after winter, summer. expanding and contracting all at once, this beautiful fractal prison provides the tiniest glimpses of what could be.

"take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind
down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves
the haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach
far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow"
- dylan


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---


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OfflineAdamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
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Registered: 11/23/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
Re: life? [Re: munchi]
    #722702 - 07/04/02 01:43 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

You must face your fears... every one.
Pushing them away or running away will only delay the time of confrontation.
Gather strength in the fact that for thousands of years, millions of people have faced the same kinds of fears, over and over again, and when you look at your own fears, they don't look so terrifying anymore. They are basically the same fears viewed through different situations, and people have been overcoming these fears again and again, transmutating them with light.
I have perhaps elaborated too much on my one piece of advice: to illuminate the darkness of your fears with the light of truth, which will lead you to love.


--------------------
:heartpump: { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } } :heartpump:


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Invisiblechodamunky
Cheers!

Registered: 02/28/02
Posts: 2,030
Loc: sailing the seas of chees...
Re: life? [Re: munchi]
    #722796 - 07/04/02 03:05 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

Im scared of what will become of me and the people i love
and im scared mostly of death


Krishnamurti once said people are afraid of dying because they can't bring their loved ones with them, they can't bring their house, and their possessions along when they die. It's the attachments we make with things and people that give us security and comfort, death will erase all that and bring you down to nothing. its just you and death. no money, no comfort of your family, no nothing. and that's why people are afraid of death. Fear of the unknow is really the same thing, there is no security and psychological comfort when you venture into the unkown.



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Offlinemunchi
******phfyl******

Registered: 06/22/02
Posts: 977
Loc: nm
Last seen: 18 years, 2 days
Re: life? [Re: chodamunky]
    #722947 - 07/04/02 05:19 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

I agree , I don?t want to leave the people I love , actually I think I went a little crazy while making this thread . I think I?ve been spending to much time in a dark room late a night with my computer , I should get out more , though everything said here has been of much importance to me , and I thank everyone who replied .


--------------------
What dreaming does is give us the fluidity to enter into other
worlds by destroying our sense of knowing this world.


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OfflineShroomalicious
You may say I'ma dreamer...

Registered: 06/20/02
Posts: 319
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 20 years, 9 months
Re: life? [Re: chodamunky]
    #723519 - 07/04/02 08:17 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

Krishnamurti once said people are afraid of dying because they can't bring their loved ones with them, they can't bring their house, and their possessions along when they die. It's the attachments we make with things and people that give us security and comfort, death will erase all that and bring you down to nothing. its just you and death. no money, no comfort of your family, no nothing. and that's why people are afraid of death. Fear of the unknow is really the same thing, there is no security and psychological comfort when you venture into the unkown.

That is what scares me about death is the possibility that I might not get to see my girlfriend again...this is no fly by night relationship, I have actually know her 25% of my entire life! I am NOT comfortable in a world without her. Some view love as a weakness, some as a strength, I have not decided...but weakness or strength I have got it, for better or worse:)


--------------------
Shroomalicious - :smile: I love you and in doing so I love myself, because we ARE all one :smile: - "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves the whole world blind and toothless". - Mahatma Ghandi


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Offlinetjc1027
myco-luvr
Registered: 09/19/01
Posts: 47
Last seen: 21 years, 1 month
Re: life? [Re: Shroomalicious]
    #723834 - 07/04/02 09:53 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

I agree wtih munch. life sucks and I am not at all afraid of dying, death would ROCK I would love to die and get away from this shitty life and all these possessions and so called "loved ones" that only dissapoint and create HAVOC. I am SURE that all of you will dissagree but love and possessions all hte "good" things that most people consider to be life are the things that PISS ME OFF. How is loving anyone or owning anything going to make my life full or happy. there is NOTHING in my life that comes anywhere near even being content much less enjoying it. how in the HELL can anyone enjoy living in thes SHITHOLE of a planet. where the only things you see around you are death famin war fascism, and alot of people walking around with this fucked up idea that in the end it is all going to be good. Even God cant save this miserable planet and fucked up life. so why doesnt he just end it and get ME the fuck out of here. You dumbasses who walk around in your little bubble thinking that everything is good can STAY and live out your ignorantly blissful lives.

There I said it.

tjc1027


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Invisiblemr crisper
.

Registered: 07/24/00
Posts: 928
Re: life? [Re: tjc1027]
    #723930 - 07/04/02 10:37 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

that was the best rant ive seen in ages.
thanks tj.
dissatisfaction with the external may lead to the focusing of one's gaze inwardly.


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OfflineShroomalicious
You may say I'ma dreamer...

Registered: 06/20/02
Posts: 319
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 20 years, 9 months
Re: life? [Re: tjc1027]
    #723939 - 07/04/02 11:00 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

You are very angry (as you said) and (I hope you don't mind me saying so) I believe this may be why you are so unhappy.

You obviously have had a very bad experience with love, in particular girlfriend/boyfriend relationships so that has, IMO, tainted your idea of what love is. My relationship is not a binding, it is a freeing. My girlfriend fills me with life and joy, she creates no more havoc on me then I do on her

I also know (or at least have this opinion) that possesions and even relationships cannot, alone, make you happy. IMO, happiness must start from within and then move to the external world. You must be at peace internally before you can be at peace externally.

Also, I don't remeber saying that EVERYTHING in life was all peachy. I am not blind, I see the death and war and famine, etc. If you think I am optimistic because nothing ever happened to me than read my post about my girlfriend, who experienced one of the most examined sexual abuse/assualt cases in CA history. Allow me to tell you about how 4 of my best friend all died untimely and preventable within 3 years. Allow me to tell you about when I was a young lad and my mother kicked me out of the house because she couldn't afford her pills and litterally went insane, and somehow I had to explain this to my 8 year old, crying sister. Certaintly I have not had the worst life my any stretch but I don't think life is happy because I am ignorant.

You said "the only things you see around you are death famin war fascism". That is not all I see. Sure, I see that to, but I also see a lot of opportunity to make it better. I also see parents raising their children to smile, and people who care.

While I don't see the need to call me names, I respect your opinion, even if I disagree


--------------------
Shroomalicious - :smile: I love you and in doing so I love myself, because we ARE all one :smile: - "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves the whole world blind and toothless". - Mahatma Ghandi


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OfflineFliquid
Back from being gone.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/18/02
Posts: 6,953
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Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: life? [Re: munchi]
    #724061 - 07/05/02 02:28 AM (21 years, 2 months ago)

Hey man i love you! Truly, don't worry, be happy man.
A problem is only a problem if you say so. You are the god of you.

Wanna talk?


--------------------
:dancing: My latest music! :yesnod:


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OfflineAmoeba665
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Loc: a hidden microutopia at t...
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Re: life? [Re: Shroomalicious]
    #724465 - 07/05/02 09:28 AM (21 years, 2 months ago)

That is what scares me about death is the possibility that I might not get to see my girlfriend again...this is no fly by night relationship, I have actually know her 25% of my entire life! I am NOT comfortable in a world without her. Some view love as a weakness, some as a strength, I have not decided...but weakness or strength I have got it, for better or worse:)

love is a strength, dependency is a weakness. this has been said before and i'll say it again... the most important thing is attachment, or identification, or clinging, whatever you want to call it. if there's one thing you can be sure about, it's that everything you experience will come and go. if you attach yourself to something that is inevitably going to end, it'll hurt you in the end. it'll be like tearing away a part of yourself. if you can somehow manage to rise above this life you can enjoy the good things when they happen and just wait for the bad things to pass. live in your mind, not in your body, if that makes sense. you also have to have real faith that there is something more than what we've been exposed to. i only truly realized this after i fell in love with someone and then lost her to circumstances out of our control. unfortunately it seems like in order for people to be able to live this way they first have to experience certain events in their life...


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---


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OfflineAmoeba665
strange
Registered: 05/23/00
Posts: 275
Loc: a hidden microutopia at t...
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
Re: life? [Re: tjc1027]
    #724481 - 07/05/02 09:37 AM (21 years, 2 months ago)

something i've always wondered about.. people that hate everything and have no hope, why are they still here? it seems to be that everyone who is alive is alive either because they think life is peachy, or because they expect something to happen when they die, they feel they have to "prove themself" to some unknown force(s). if the only reason you're alive is because you don't want to "give up", then why don't you want to "give up"? who are you trying to prove something to? if there's nothing when you die, things like guilt and pride and weakness shouldn't make a difference, right?


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---


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Offlinetjc1027
myco-luvr
Registered: 09/19/01
Posts: 47
Last seen: 21 years, 1 month
Re: life? [Re: Amoeba665]
    #724954 - 07/05/02 02:11 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

OK I have not had BAD experiences with love I have had NO experience with love except for my mom. who has just recently turned into a BITCH. She always bitches about how I am not doing anyhing with my life how I am up all night and sleep all day and pretty much EVERYTHING. My experience with GIRLS is that they all want a conformist who looks acts and lives like everyone else. I hate to break it to them but I am NOT everyone else I live my life the way I want to I live my life for myself and God. If I had a girlfriend I would treat her 100 times better then all these pricks that get all the girls and cheat on them, and only care about fucking all the time. Relationships that are based on SEX and DISHONESTY are going to lead to nothing but heartache. The reason I havent ever had anything that I would consider a relationship is because most of the women I have met expect me to change., which I am not willing to do. they all want a guy who looks good. Which I will admit I do not. I weigh 240 lbs I am only 5' 10". so... any girl who looks at a guy by how he looks is not going to choose me. also I would rather not even have a girl if that is what she wants. I pray every day that eventually I will find a girl who likes me for what I am. I know that life will not be like this forever THAT is why I am still here. although I would rather not live through the shittyness of what life is to me right now. I know it will EVENTUALLY change. to answer you ameoba, I Do expect something when I die. And I wil tell you who I have to prove myself to. It is GOD. and although the so called "unknown forces" may be unknown there are forces higher than us. and if you dont believe in a higher power then maybe you should not be in the spirituality and philosophy forum. Also I was very pissed last night so anything I said that offended anyone I appologize and I normally do not feel the way I felt last night. I am bipolar. so... sometimes I just flip out.

anyway
c ya tjc1027


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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: life? [Re: tjc1027]
    #725532 - 07/05/02 08:08 PM (21 years, 2 months ago)

tjc1027-
Bitches is grief.
When the pickin's are slim I usually opt for temporary celibacy rather than sexual gratification via some ignorant, feeble-minded, emotional wreck with a nice rack and a pretty smile. But, hey, that's just me. I'm guessing that if your mom is still bitching at you, then you must still be young... you'll find someone - just stay true to yourself.

Unfortunately, I have some bad news...

and if you dont believe in a higher power then maybe you should not be in the spirituality and philosophy forum.
Last time I checked, existentialism was under the philosophy section of most bookstores. I don't think a "higher power" is a prerequisite for spiritual maturity.


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...


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OfflineShroomalicious
You may say I'ma dreamer...

Registered: 06/20/02
Posts: 319
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 20 years, 9 months
Re: life? [Re: tjc1027]
    #725756 - 07/06/02 12:01 AM (21 years, 2 months ago)

tjc1027 - In all honesty you COMPLETELY echo me from not so long ago. 100%.

Your problems are very real and very justified, but not unual. I don't think you are bipolar, your just a teen. A "normal" teen in that regard.

Trust me, things get better. You only have to meet ONE girl before everything changes. Also, I think that people can learn to be internally peaceful regradless of their external world. Perhaps you would have some success at this...if you wanna talk about absolutely anything shoot me an e-mail subdivisions@yahoo.com

My e-mail is named after a song I heard when I was very young that stopped me from commiting suicide, so "teen related angst" as they call it, is not unfamiliar to me I may not know everything but hopefully I know something


--------------------
Shroomalicious - :smile: I love you and in doing so I love myself, because we ARE all one :smile: - "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves the whole world blind and toothless". - Mahatma Ghandi


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