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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Here's one of my favorite quotes just for you.
"SURVIVAL IS OVERRATED"
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Girlfriend Problems [Re: Icelander]
#7207740 - 07/21/07 07:39 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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I bet $20,0000 that that quote was written/spoken by a person who was alive at the time.
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goodfryfinn
The Good FryerFinn



Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 121
Loc: California, US
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
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Quote:
fireworks_god said:
Quote:
Sinbad said: No, I don't think it is fixable, she obviously is not so 'perfect' for you IMO. Find someone more on your wavelength spiritually, is my suggestion. Last thing it sounds like you need is a fundie xtian wife/gf.
Bad advice. 
The situation is obviously a very serious one, and involves two dynamic, complex individuals, and an entirely unique relationship. To ignore the nature of reality in such a manner and hand down such judgement is detrimental, in my opinion. 
He describes this woman as being near perfect for him, going so far as to use the term "soul mate". I think the ultimate answer for him lies within her, even if it does mean moving on. To say to someone who expresses their love for another in such a manner "Nope, its over, move on" is ridiculuous.
Man I was told that by almost everyone I know about the girl I thought I was going to marry. We had one huge fight, and my best friend said it was time to move on. Oh well, it's over now, finally.
-------------------- "mtv makes me wanna smoke crack fall out of the window and I'm never comin back mtv makes me wanna get high can't get a ride no matter how I try and everything's perfect and everything's bright and everyone's perky and everyone's uptight I love those videos I watch 'em all day........"
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
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Re: Girlfriend Problems [Re: goodfryfinn]
#7208238 - 07/21/07 10:17 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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What does it have to do with anything that's been discussed here?
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Rhizoid
carbon unit


Registered: 01/22/00
Posts: 1,739
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 7 days, 12 hours
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Re: Girlfriend Problems [Re: lolwhut]
#7209863 - 07/22/07 11:55 AM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
lolwhut said: I can live with 100% of everything she is, but she cant live with 100% of everything I am.
This is the core of the problem. Compromises are always necessary. There are no soulmates floating around and waiting to be paired off. People who believe that are just lazy. Soulmates are created by conscious effort.
Try suggesting a mutual compromise: you will stop all drug use if she agrees to become an atheist. Or as an alternative, you will stop all illegal drug dealing and stop all use of addictive drugs if she agrees that your future children should be exposed to multiple mythologies, including atheism. Or use your imagination to come up with some other compromise that you think is reasonable. Negotiate with her.
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lolwhut
ahsgfiuahfuope



Registered: 06/29/07
Posts: 763
Last seen: 13 years, 3 months
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Re: Girlfriend Problems [Re: Rhizoid]
#7209993 - 07/22/07 12:41 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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I have tried, like future tense I have one problem, and that is raising my kids religious. For her, she doesnt want me to involve my kids in my drug use, which would basically be mushrooms only. The only "drug" i do is shrooms. Nothing addicitve. Wait, nicotine and alcohol too. Those are the bad drugs.
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger



Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 year, 30 days
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Re: Girlfriend Problems [Re: Sinbad]
#7210054 - 07/22/07 01:10 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sinbad said: My opinion is established only in my own experience, so it is subjective, obviously. That is all anyones experience can ever be. 
I think you keep backpeddling to obvious truths about your posts so that you can avoid having to confront my dissenting viewpoints to what I have specifically challenged you on.
I have never questioned your own experience, or whether or not your opinion is subjective, now have I? My repeated point is that your opinion does not apply to the outlined situation by the original poster.
Could you demonstrate that it does apply to the phenomenon of these two individuals and the manner in which they relate? You continuously cite your experience in the matters, which, without applying that experience to demonstrate any actual understanding on the matter, is simply yet another logical fallacy (Diploid didn't sticky that thread for no reason).
The only basis you have in presenting your opinion on the matter is the fact that the original poster used one phrase to describe his girlfriend. You've asserted that you feel comfortable in assuming that this word actually applies to her nature, despite no substantiation to demonstrate that it might even correspond in the slightest degree.
I think this is a leap of faith, to make this assumption. I speculate that it is a means by which the self tries changing the actuality of the situation, which is largely an unknown to the self, to something that the self feels they already understand and know, instead of using means of investigation and building an actual understanding of the nature of reality.
Oh, it would be nice if the totality of someone's life that we know next to nothing about could reduce so simply to one phrase that we conviently feel we already have extensive experience in dealing with, in order for us to feel as though we actually know and can hand down our judgement.
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Yes, it is a question of inadequacy with regard to ones experience, whether one can answer a question or give an opinion, based upon the information given and ones own experience (how much of a gap is there?).
Math question: Tony has 12 apples. Marcia has 24, who gives 16 of them to Bob. Bob is 12 years old. How many apples did Bob have before Marcia gave him 16 more?
A.) 5 B.) 10 C.) 12 D.) Not enough information to solve.
Is my experience inadequate if I choose D.) in this math problem?
Dude, I'm not sure why you feel the need to question my personal experience. You are implying that we should already feel secure in knowing the nature of reality, so if we are presented with a very base description of a very complex, intricate situation whose totality could never be described to other people, to ask questions to learn more about the matter before handing down one's final judgement from one's perspective, we are simply inadequate in our own experience.
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As far as a consensus in world view, I'm talking about basic viewpoints on things, such as 'sin' and all the other various philosophical points that xtainity holds, that are in general opposition to an atheistic world view.
I realize what you are referring to when you speak of fundamentalist Christianity. What I fail to realize is how any of this is evidenced to represent the personal nature of the woman that this thread pertains to. I saw no reference to any of these other various philosophical points that she allegedly holds. I personally don't like to speak from a state of unknowing, or to change the situation being discussed to a preconceived notion in order to speak from a position of authority on a subject, as a means of proposing my opinion as more credible.
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If these basic outlooks between two persons in a relationship, are not in consensus, then the likelihood is that a long term relationship it is not going to work out after the initial honeymoon phase. This IMO is just conventional wisdom. You of course, are free to think as you wish.
This likelihood only does not exist if the two individuals do not respect the nature of the other individual and open up lines of honest communication with each other, while centered in their experience of love and their togetherness. Their viewpoints regarding the existance of a g*d might be opposed, but it does not mean that they, as individuals, will be opposed, or will be incapable of living a happy, loving life together.
You seem to propose that the way they think about g*d implies that there are irresolvable differences between them, but the way think about g*d doesn't need to be resolved so that there are no differences amongst those beliefs. All that matters is how they choose to relate with each other.
Now, let me ask you, what precisely regarding her "fundamentalist Christian" nature ( ) has interferred with their relationship? The only two major issues that have been presented by the original poster regarding obstructions in their relationship, upon a seeking of further understanding ( ), is his usage of mushrooms, which her proposed reasoning has no relation to her "fundamentalist Christian beliefs", with the information we have thus far, and his own refusal to have potential children attend church before they are eight, which, again, has nothing to do with her "fundamentalist Christian" beliefs, but his own refusal for acceptance of a rather benign event (going to church).
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The research you should perhaps do is not into the person in question, but into the nature of the xtian world view and the implication of a literal interpretation thereof.
Excuse me, but this thread is not entitled "Discuss the nature of the generalized, preconceived notion of fundamental christianity", but rather, "girlfriend problems", which was used to represent the specific situation regarding himself and his woman.
And yet, you propose that I should not seek further understanding of themselves and their relationship in order to contribute to the actual topic for discussion in a more relevant, meaningful manner? 
Quote:
Also some research into relationship dynamics and religion would be a plus. I feel that perhaps you might need some actual personal experience to make this real to you, as you seem to be pretty hell bent on relying upon your own less than experienced intellectual analysis.
So, instead of discussing the specific points I have raised, and proposing that my skillful attempts to obtain more information with which to understand the actual topic for discussion, you simply, vaugely refer to how I need more personal experience.
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If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger



Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 year, 30 days
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Re: Girlfriend Problems [Re: Rhizoid]
#7210072 - 07/22/07 01:18 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rhizoid said: This is the core of the problem. Compromises are always necessary. There are no soulmates floating around and waiting to be paired off. People who believe that are just lazy. Soulmates are created by conscious effort.
Wait, you mean... if two people have opportunties that result from the manners in which they choose to relate with each other (not the nature of their personal beliefs), instead of sitting down, feeling all the ways in which they love each other, and open up some honest communication through which they can discover ways to transcend the resistors they have placed in their relationship, or other ways of connecting to bypass them and still have a meaningful, fufilling relationship (compromise), they shouldn't just throw away the 98% of similarities they share, walk away and move onto the next person, and then the next person, and then the next person?
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If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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Rhizoid
carbon unit


Registered: 01/22/00
Posts: 1,739
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 7 days, 12 hours
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Exactly. But I said it in fewer words!
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: I bet $20,0000 that that quote was written/spoken by a person who was alive at the time.
I channeled it from Joseph.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Girlfriend Problems [Re: Rhizoid]
#7210223 - 07/22/07 02:20 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rhizoid said:
Quote:
lolwhut said: I can live with 100% of everything she is, but she cant live with 100% of everything I am.
This is the core of the problem. Compromises are always necessary. There are no soulmates floating around and waiting to be paired off. People who believe that are just lazy. Soulmates are created by conscious effort.
Try suggesting a mutual compromise: you will stop all drug use if she agrees to become an atheist. Or as an alternative, you will stop all illegal drug dealing and stop all use of addictive drugs if she agrees that your future children should be exposed to multiple mythologies, including atheism. Or use your imagination to come up with some other compromise that you think is reasonable. Negotiate with her.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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