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 Druginduced
Stranger
Registered: 01/12/03
Posts: 5,139
Last seen: 16 years, 8 months
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 I became a hermit. 
#7199238 - 07/19/07 06:49 PM (16 years, 8 months ago) |
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I will tell you a story.
I went to a religious institutional college for 3 years. The college had a mandatory agreement to sign that required church attendance, abstinence from drugs and alcohol and sex, i couldn't even have girls over in my dorm/apartment past 9pm at night. So why did I go? Partially because my parents wanted it, partially because I wanted to take the easy way out (my rents would pay for my college education there) partially because a girl i had a crush on in highschool was going there as well.
No big deal I thought... Most kids there should have the same attitude as me right? Sign the papers, and then get along with real life the same as back at home... I had no idea what I was really getting myself in to. I often heard stories of students narcing eachother out for the silliest of things... like being in a dorm room past curfew. This school was full of young religious kooks. I began to get very paranoid and stopped trusting anyone I didn't know. I stopped socializing, I lost interest in attending social affairs such as parties because I knew what type of people would be there, and i wasnt interested in being around them.
I made a few fantastic likeminded friends when I first arrived at the school. As the years passed they slowly trickled out of my life for various reasons, including getting kicked out of school, getting fed up with the school and leaving, and some even served mormon missions (lol).
My personal goal was to stick it out at the school and just graduate. But my social life was dwindling down to nothing... I started having no social contact with anyone for weeks at a time. I became a loner because I 'knew' that i was unlikely to find anyone who would share a similar outlook on life as I... afterall, my views on life were already in the minority even if I was out in a part of the world that I would have deemed 'normal' at the time... aka, if i wasn't attending a hardcore institutional religious college.
So anyways I stuck it out attending classes and having pretty much no social life as long as I could stand. What finally got to me was depression. Being/feeling alone and isolated for so long has so many unforseen consequences on the human psyche... Eventually I left the college and returned to my home town where I used to have normal social desires of wanting to meet new people and interact with people on a regular basis. But after years of feeling isolated and alone things aren't the same... I am antisocial, I avoid talking to people, even acquaintances that I know are individuals who's outlook on life is similar to mine.
I am a hermit. I stay at home, I avoid people. I used to have that desire to meet people, and to even just be around people; I used to desire to have friends. I used to enjoy social interaction. I used to crave it. But no longer do I have this desire...
Anyways, when i take mushrooms I feel that I have returned to my former state of mind... I crave social interaction, I find people interesting and new, I just enjoy being around people. I once again enjoy social interaction. I have no greater desire in life than to re obtain my interest in these types of things... The shrooms help me a lot but the day after I take them, the desire is lost once again...
But what shrooms have shown me, is that I have hope. They have alleviated my depression greatly, I no longer COMPLETELY avoid being social, but now I can make slight efforts to maintain friendly relationships...
Anyways when I was first introduced to mushrooms I began by taking a very large dose. I do not know exactly the amount I took, but from my recent experiences I estimate it to be somewhere around 5 grams. After that initial dose a few months later I took an even larger dose (i assume its larger based on it being more powerful). I experienced heaven and hell, and I then avoided mushrooms for nearly 3 years. recently i have come in contact with shrooms again and I have been working my way up from a 1/16th and I will be taking an 1/8th sometime soon. I love the way they make me feel 'whole' again. I perceive them as a fantastic medicine and personally want to beleive that they are working with me to restore what I have lost.
Anyways, only time will tell, but I have high hopes from what I have experienced thus far.
Have fun guys, be safe, and happy shrooming 
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musicallaround
Chill Doctor
Registered: 07/05/07
Posts: 27
Last seen: 16 years, 8 months
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hang in there brother
there are plenty of people out there
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legalize it.
vaporize
do your part.
shout out some love to berklee
"he who knows does not speak, he who speaks does not know"
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Jair
Smeghead
Registered: 06/08/07
Posts: 2,601
Loc: East Coast
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
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Sad story bro. I am glad that you are getting back on the right track though.
Good luck with everything man, enjoy the mushrooms, and try your damnedest to enjoy life.
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 freya99
-------A-------
Registered: 07/09/07
Posts: 85
Loc: Belgium
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Re: I became a hermit. [Re: Jair]
#7199320 - 07/19/07 07:05 PM (16 years, 8 months ago) |
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I don't know what you expect of this thread but if it worth something, it made me think, being a hermit myself.
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I nawet kiedy będę sam,
Nie zmienię się, to nie mój świat.
Przede mną droga którą znam,
którą ja wybrałem sam.
-Myslovitz-
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DeathCompany
Oneironaut
Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 12,662
Loc: Somewhere in my head
Last seen: 1 year, 21 days
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Re: I became a hermit. [Re: freya99]
#7199323 - 07/19/07 07:06 PM (16 years, 8 months ago) |
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it made me think i hate most forms of organized relegion
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Jair
Smeghead
Registered: 06/08/07
Posts: 2,601
Loc: East Coast
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
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Quote:
DeathCompany said:
it made me think i hate most forms of organized relegion
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