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OfflineMorphMan
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: Rustifer]
    #7182761 - 07/16/07 12:47 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

My only advise to you is to not let your "disorder" define you as a person. You are not imprisoned by this; you can live your life in a normal, healthy way. It will take a certain amount of work, maybe a lot, but you can get over this. Don't let it bring you down, this isn't the be-all end-all to who you are. Only you define who you are and the life that you live. Good vibes to you and I hope everything works out for the best for you.


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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: Cowgold]
    #7182838 - 07/16/07 01:06 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Cowgold said:
The whole borderline personality disorder just seems like a convenient excuse.  Problem or not, you still have to do shit for youself. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself doesn't pay bills does it?

Happyness is a luxury and just like any other luxury, working hard usually comes first.




:yesnod:

Labels like BPD often seem to encourage people to relinquish responsibility for their own lives.  "Oh I can't be happy, I have BPD."  All these kids diagnosed with ADD do bad in school because that label tells them they can't help but fail.  Which makes their apparent (some might say illusory) condition worse.

Remove from your mind the idea that you are damaged or compromised.  You are capable of much more than you realize.

Like someone else said, do what works.


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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:


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Offlinenightkrawler
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: Rustifer]
    #7183214 - 07/16/07 02:52 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Rustifer said:
But I do believe that my depression is what causes most of my problems, especially with my wife. I have been sitting on the computer smoking weed for the past month allowing her to work 2 jobs and carry the whole load. Just.. moping and beating myself up. I never make an effort to show her how much I care for her. I don't clean the house. I always refuse to go out with friends and family.

My anxiety causes a lot of problems too, I work myself up to going to get an application from some place, I drive past it 10 times smoke a cigarettes really fast right before I go in. Then I usually can never work myself up to going back to give it to them.




it sounds like you already know what you need to do. knowing is half the battle. start by cleaning one room of the house while your wife is at work. or if that is too much, start by cleaning your desk or something similar. do a little something to help yourself everyday. rome wasn't built in a day. you've got to gradually start doing the things that you already realize you need to do.

don't get caught up in the linguistics of disorders and whatnot, they're just labels that humans put on characteristics of other humans. it doesn't mean anything. you are in charge of the problems you have, and only you can do something about it!

best of luck to you!


--------------------

Not all who wander are lost - J.R.R. Tolkien


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InvisibleCowgold
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: Rustifer]
    #7183218 - 07/16/07 02:54 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

If having a personality disorder is a valid excuse then I'm sure telling your bill collectors about it will suffice.


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InvisibleRustifer
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #7183219 - 07/16/07 02:54 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Someone posted this in a totally unrelated thread in the Physical and mental well being forum..

Quote:

it comes down to what you choose. you are choosing to lead a negative life. just convince yourself things will get better, and i guaren-fucking-tee you that they will (assuming you really get to work on making things better for yourself).

No one and i mean NO ONE, is going to come along and makes things "right" for you. only you can do that.

and damn, how good would that feel in the end to know that it was your determination and courage alone that helped you lead the life you wanted? i can't think of a better last thought as i die.




I think I just sit here and allow myself to get like this, I dwell on all of my fuck ups, and do nothing to try to change them or make it better, never thinking about any of my good qualities.

I don't know why, but reading what he said made a big difference. I keep telling myself, you can't just snap out of it like that, but it seems I have.

And since I haven't been smoking, my OCD seems way more prevalent than my ADD was, I've finished a few projects, the house is spotless (and I pace around cleaning everything all day.) I probably and obsessing about having BPD, and using it as an excuse.

I wonder what my diet has to do with this, I'm pretty unhealthy. ( I'm 6'0" - 125 pounds.) The past 4 days now I haven't smoked, I've been eating as much as I can, exercising... My anxiety this morning has been next to none. I feel really great about myself, I'm going to go out and apply for a few jobs here in a few.

But what really convinces me that I'm BPD is the "Splitting".

Quote:

#

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. This is called "splitting."




If you do something to upset me, I turn to the next person I see, and just say all kinds of bad stuff, I think about everything bad that person has ever done, forgetting about everything great they've done for me.


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Offlinesirbojangles
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Registered: 10/22/05
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: Rustifer]
    #7183512 - 07/16/07 04:20 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

stop walking on eggshells

i have this same condition

i had a really bad breakdown when a friend of mine unknowingly kept me in the dark

i immediately became convinced she hated me and thought i was a freek etc.

i freaked out at her at a friends house and the mom got involved and it was real bad

its a hard condition but you know what

ive gotten alot better and all these people are close friends

so the moral is...

we have control in the end

not our body chemistry


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Offlineserendipitythenot
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: ApolloG]
    #7184027 - 07/16/07 06:32 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

holy crap. thank you so much for this information. i always thought that there was a link between my diet and my anxiety, and now it all makes sense.


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OfflineMorphMan
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: Rustifer]
    #7184281 - 07/16/07 07:29 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I am so happy that you realized these things about yourself. You have already taken the first big ass step toward a better life. You truly are the one responsible for the life you live. It may be a gradual "healing" process but if you keep trying each day you'll notice a huge improvement. Glad to hear you gained something positive out of these forums.


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InvisibleRustifer
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: MorphMan]
    #7184467 - 07/16/07 08:23 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Well I went and tried to join the Navy Reserve today... Oh man neither of the 2 recruiters there have ever thought about trying a drug in their life. Hopefully I will get in, my father was in the navy when he was my age, and he always told me that he thinks that's what I need, since him and my mother were unable to provide a structured environment for me growing up. I have to take the ASVAB tomorrow, I hate tests that's why I dropped out of school.

My anxiety is non-existent today. Even while I was talking to the wife, she really wants me gone for a little while, we both agree that we met each other too early in life. She has been in relationships non-stop since she was a freshmen in high school. She wants to be able to go out and not worry about hurting anyone, it hurts, but I don't blame her, I got to go out and mingle in high school. I just really hope that I am able to change my ways, so I can quit covering up all the good qualities that make her love me, with all of my bad ones. I really think I caught this at the last possible moment.

The great thing about this is, I didn't freak out, a week ago, if we had this conversation. I would still be on the floor sobbing uncontrollably.


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InvisibleGratos
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: Rustifer]
    #7184597 - 07/16/07 09:05 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I wish you luck but must also say that strength flows inside out, not outside in. Grow a set and man up to your responsibilities, it sounds to me like your running from your problems hoping theyll fix you.


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OfflineSneezingPenis
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: Rustifer]
    #7184614 - 07/16/07 09:10 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

its ok rustifer. It is obvious that you were born genetically predisposed to enjoying life less and getting less out of life than everyone else.
Dont take any responsiblity whatsoever for where your life is at right now and make sure that you let everyone know that you are genetically handicapped. what a cruel world this is.


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InvisibleRustifer
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #7184674 - 07/16/07 09:24 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

How am I not taking responsibility for the way my life is, and how am I running from it?


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OfflineSneezingPenis
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: Rustifer]
    #7184684 - 07/16/07 09:26 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

well, it is obvious that the alleged chemical imbalance in your brain is due to some genetic crap shoot that you failed, which in turn is the sole cause of your perceived fucked up life.
Are you saying that there have been some things in your life that you did or didnt do that could be responsible for where you perceive yourself to be?


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InvisibleGratos
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: Rustifer]
    #7184711 - 07/16/07 09:34 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Well, because you seem to be leaving it high and dry? Youre leaving a life of no responsibility for a life which demands responsibility. I believe that answers both questions. Dont get me wrong, I dont give a fuck what you do, I just call 'em like I see 'em (which doesnt mean Im right, Ive been wrong many times).


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Offlinedreadheadgurl
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: Crystal G]
    #7184716 - 07/16/07 09:35 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I have to respond to this...not all people with bipolar are as you describe them. I have bipolar and I'm pretty even...I also have BPD...live a pretty normal life. Anyway, just had to stick my nose out there.
-dhg


--------------------
I may be crazy but it is the one thing that keeps me from going insane. --Waylon Jennings


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InvisibleRustifer
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: Gratos]
    #7184753 - 07/16/07 09:45 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

If you want me to be perfectly honest, yes there have been things in my life that are some what responsible for how I have been perceiving myself.

My mother's boyfriend's sons molested me at the age of 7.
My mother is an alcoholic, and she is emotionally abusive.
My father, the sole person of my family who actually cared for me, passed 1.5 years ago.

Wow that feels great to be able to admit to that first thing, next to my wife, you guys are the first I have ever told.

Regardless of this, I still take responsibility for my life and my actions, I understand that sitting around and beating myself up about my life is only going to make everything worse. I have to try, no one is going to make things better for me. I'm getting out and trying to better myself for the first time ever, and it feels great.

I'm leaving a life of no responsibility for 2 months, and hopefully coming back with a little money, health insurance, (So I can start seeing a psychologist), and maybe boot camp will teach me some structure and responsibility, because my parents gave me neither.


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OfflineSneezingPenis
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: dreadheadgurl]
    #7184775 - 07/16/07 09:48 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

so dreadheadgurl.... do you feel that you are genetically predisposed to enjoying life less than other "normal" people?


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OfflineDrCamacho89
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: Rustifer]
    #7184796 - 07/16/07 09:52 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

You have to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't your fault before you can ever move on. Admitting it and talking about it is the first step.


--------------------
"The Highways of Life are Paved with Flat Squirrels who Couldn't Make Up Their Minds"


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OfflineSneezingPenis
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: Rustifer]
    #7184807 - 07/16/07 09:54 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

My mother's boyfriend's sons molested me at the age of 7.
My mother is an alcoholic, and she is emotionally abusive.
My father, the sole person of my family who actually cared for me, passed 1.5 years ago.






that isnt taking responsibility. That is the opposite, it is shirking responsiblity.
At any point that you are trying to justify why your life is the way it is, is shirking responsibility. Only you can make yourself happy, and sure, the listed things are obstacles towards that goal, but they are in no way holding you back, or responsible for your state of affairs.

shitty things happen in life. Everyone in this room could fill pages with sob stories about how "rough" they had it.
Earlier you had claimed that maybe you had PTSD due to your father dying, and while Im not saying you shouldnt be broken up about it, or sad, it still isnt stopping you from living your life how you envision it... the only thing in your way to a happy, perfect life is you.

Once you start taking full responsibility for how your life is, then you can start doing something about it, but sitting around blaming shitty circumstances and genetic theories isnt going to make that happen.


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Invisiblekake
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Re: I have Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: Rustifer]
    #7184852 - 07/16/07 10:05 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

never forget the pharmceutical industry has a vested interest in convincing people they have things that will get their pills sold... you're not going to see any big movement to save our sanity coming from government or media anytime soon as a result of that. that said...

we live in an age that is breeding all kinds of psychological problems... the causes may be complex, but i'd say society is mostly to blame. therefore, you should get expert advice from at least 3 professionals, then decide for yourself.

good luck!


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The answer to 1984 is 1776.


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