Please take the time and courtesy to read this mindblowing report, it scared me into truly being utterly fearful of even coming face to face with another blotter.
LSD, dropped about 3.5 blotters, at 8AM this morning
Up until noon I was fine, smoked some herb and I was chilling.
Then I decided for some reason that I was going to go out to my porch and smoke a blunt to the face. I know now that this wasn't the best idea, but at the time I was very interested in pushing the limits, it seemed that was what drugs were all about to me.
I proceeded to get more fucked up, but I started feeling physical pain. I felt my heart starting to race and this wild sensation in my brain, almost as if my brain was being SPLIT into pieces, or the sensation that my head was RAW metal surrounded by electricity. My brain started to really hurt badly and so did my heart. I began to think that something drastically had gone wrong, and this is when the trip went downhill.
I came into my room and tried to just avoid the fact that I was physically feeling pain. I figured oh well, it's probably some adverse effects, it's LSD for a reason, it's powerful, but I was proceeding to get worse and I knew this. Soon I couldn't even function anymore, The pain was so present that I could barely even breathe.
It was almost as if my body was being split apart. I felt like a knife was slicing my brain in half every 30 seconds, while my heart was exploding out of my chest. This whole time I was so afraid that I was truly going to physically die. Nothing would stop this pain from happening. At the peak of the pain, I couldn't function, I couldn't type on a computer, I had no idea what anything was.
I thought I was on another planet, and everything around me was a national emergency. All I could hear were sirens blaring and people screaming and dieng. Almost like everything around me had been blown away by some CRAZY all powerfuly wind.
I passed out on the ground and started convulsing. I began begging the divine to save me. I hadn't even been much of a religious person until this happened, All I could see in my vision were crosses and patterns of crossing all leading me up to what seemed to be heaven.
I finally just let go, and died. I killed myself because I couldn't take the physical pain anymore, but when I finally truly let myself die, I was fine.
I came back within 15 minutes of letting myself die, and througholy enjoyed the rest of my trip.
This was ego death then yes? Seems like the simple answer, but I feel there are underlying things about my life in this situation.
Was I actually feeling this pain, because it was so unbearable I had never felt anything like it, and it was so intense that I truly feel if it were really happening I would have died.
Just please hit me with some insight, Im dead afraid of acid now, dead afraid, and I had tripped before this about 30 times.
I have been analyzing what happened to me pretty much since it happened, and I have it to specific details, but I tried to sum it up as best as possible.
During the trip it was a lot more intense then it may seem.
I actually was desperately trying not to physically die.
Or maybe it had nothing to do with the physical.
-------------------- legalize it. vaporize do your part. shout out some love to berklee "he who knows does not speak, he who speaks does not know"
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