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garbage
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 316
Last seen: 11 months, 12 days
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When your friends betray you
#7148449 - 07/08/07 09:30 PM (16 years, 8 months ago) |
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There's a total of 5 of us living in this house right now. I had been planning on moving in with my closer friend, who I share a friendship with that started in elementary school, next month to a 2 bedroom apartment. Well turns out he bailed on me and is moving in with other people. Worse of all is he was lying to me for over a month and now I only have until the end of July to find a place for myself. I even had to find out from another roommate, and then tonight had to ask him bluntly what the deal was. I was the one who initiated the situation. Plus all the other roommates and friends knew about this. They knew he had already ditched on me, but they didn't say anything. They said it wasn't their problem.
I feel betrayed. Not only did my friends not say anything, but one of my closest friends left me out to hang. No one seems to even care really. They don't see it as: This kid is a complete jackass and is screwing over his best friend. They seem to still think he's a good guy. And plus most of them are mad at *me* for being mad at them. They say I shouldn't be mad because it wasn't their problem to begin with. I'm so upset. I thought I had a good group of friends here, but apparently not.
I really just needed to vent, thanks Shroomery for having this place on the forum.
-------------------- Vaporbrothers
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lipan
Magi
Registered: 09/10/06
Posts: 569
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
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Re: When youre friends betray you [Re: garbage]
#7148477 - 07/08/07 09:34 PM (16 years, 8 months ago) |
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thats pretty gay. the guy should have just told you instead of leading you on for so long.
-------------------- Feel free to forget all that I am saying, for the instant these clumsy words spill out of my mouth, they transform into complete lies.
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LordSenate
One of the Lost
Registered: 09/15/02
Posts: 37,093
Loc: First Circle of Hell
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Re: When youre friends betray you [Re: garbage]
#7148484 - 07/08/07 09:35 PM (16 years, 8 months ago) |
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I wouldn't really consider these types of people my 'friends'
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LordSenate
One of the Lost
Registered: 09/15/02
Posts: 37,093
Loc: First Circle of Hell
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Re: When youre friends betray you [Re: LordSenate]
#7148492 - 07/08/07 09:36 PM (16 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
LordSenate said: I wouldn't really consider these types of people my 'friends'
i forgot to mention that though i feel that these types of people are not your friends, i really do not see this as being the other roomates fault. I may or may not have discussed him moving out with you. Not because i was trying to hide it, but because i may have thought you knew. If i KNEW he wasn't telling you on purpose, or that you didnt know, i would have told you. If they did this then i stick with what i said previously.
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garbage
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 316
Last seen: 11 months, 12 days
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Re: When youre friends betray you [Re: LordSenate]
#7148542 - 07/08/07 09:44 PM (16 years, 8 months ago) |
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Yeah the other roommates and friends knew straight up he was lying for over a month on repeated occasions. The guy I was supposed to move in with was hiding it from me because he thought I'd get mad (well duh). It finally took me asking a roommate on Friday night what was going on because I had a gut feeling about the situation. Like I would discuss moving while hanging out with everyone and no one would say anything. They just continue to not get involved. To me that's not what a friend is. A friend would have stepped in and told me right away. At least that's what I would have done. Whether it was my business or not, the outcome is that one person is screwing the other over. And to me that's unacceptable.
-------------------- Vaporbrothers
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LordSenate
One of the Lost
Registered: 09/15/02
Posts: 37,093
Loc: First Circle of Hell
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Re: When youre friends betray you [Re: garbage]
#7148563 - 07/08/07 09:47 PM (16 years, 8 months ago) |
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Then those people are not friends man. That is NOT acceptable, and would take everything that they say with a grain of salt.
IMO i would look for some new friends. I know i wouldn't be talking to them, and if i had to, i know that it wouldnt be about anything important, and would definitely treat them shitty
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garbage
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 316
Last seen: 11 months, 12 days
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Re: When youre friends betray you [Re: LordSenate]
#7148645 - 07/08/07 10:00 PM (16 years, 8 months ago) |
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I told em I was out for revenge. LOL. Man I just hate it. It sucks so much because no one even seems to see my point of view. I'm here sitting alone in my room while the rest are downstairs on the back porch having a good time. I guess this is just one of those times when life is shitty.
-------------------- Vaporbrothers
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LordSenate
One of the Lost
Registered: 09/15/02
Posts: 37,093
Loc: First Circle of Hell
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Re: When youre friends betray you [Re: garbage]
#7148679 - 07/08/07 10:06 PM (16 years, 8 months ago) |
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It comes and it goes, you know this already it seems.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 3 years, 15 days
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Re: When youre friends betray you [Re: garbage]
#7148761 - 07/08/07 10:22 PM (16 years, 8 months ago) |
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Ok first of all I think we all agree on the fact that these are toy "real" friends and that your situation sucks. This is something settled and I think that no further discussion in worth having upon, from that perspective.
Now... you are the only one who can control your own feelings, since you're your own person and the one who's in command with your life. Thinking about revenge, even if not so serious, only harms you more and keeps feeding you with negative ideas and feelings. It's a place where you don't wanna be... in fact, it's the place you wanna get out of. You're here, you're in this situation and all your focus and attention should be channeled in finding yourself, as soon as possible, a place to stay. That should be you priority right now, not getting consumed by destructive projections of your mind.
We all get lied by people who we thought they were our friends, we all get disappointed in life, but we have to carry on. That's life and none of us is being "protected" from those experiences.
That being said, I think the message and conclusions are pretty simple. Forgive and learn. Live for making your life beautiful, as beautiful and as comfortable as possible. And that implies, yes, becoming aware of the fact that you're responsible for what you feel, and knowing that, consciously choosing not to let yourself feel bad over situations in which you've been betrayed.
Good lick in finding a new place to live, and cheer up, you have more important and pleasant things to do with your time, and you have better places/people to invest your feelings, when the time will be Right.
-------------------- All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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JoseLibrado
return
Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 569
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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Re: When youre friends betray you [Re: MushroomTrip]
#7150642 - 07/09/07 10:29 AM (16 years, 8 months ago) |
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hey man, i know how you feel, i too have been betrayed by a friend. It hurts. One of the biggest reasons it hurts so much is the question why...why did they do this. Well the answere is actually very simple: they are imperfect, good and bad, true and untrue. In this case it is a problem with the of commitment or promise. Your friend promised he would move in with you and could no fullfill such an expectation, come time when it is to be fullfilled. The problem with commitment, is that we are always changing our minds about decisions because of the nature of our being, always changing, especially in a world with so many different opportunities, where changes can come extremly quickly, like this case here. I see that if this were me in this case, i would be feeling hurt, betrayed and angry because i expected the fullfillment of a promise that could simply not be undertaken, holding that our nature is to change. Accepting this is where for-giveness of love lies and your peace of mind starts, helping me see this situation not as a problem but lesson. In no way am i inviting you to stay in close connection with these people, if you do not want to but accepting them is like accepting your-self for the good and the bad, the imperfections that make life worth living, through the adventure from bad to good, truth to truth. Love for all, and wow how that helps me cope with the challenges given to me! ^.^
-------------------- The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution. And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change. Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems. Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....
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nonoman
ambassador
Registered: 06/25/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: the wood
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
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Re: When youre friends betray you [Re: garbage]
#7156858 - 07/10/07 03:24 PM (16 years, 8 months ago) |
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Had the same kind of thing happen to me last year. Forget 'em and move on, there are so many good people out there. Don't waste your time lamenting the bad ones.
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ManianFH
living in perverty
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,913
Last seen: 12 minutes, 58 seconds
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Re: When youre friends betray you [Re: nonoman]
#7158264 - 07/10/07 09:30 PM (16 years, 8 months ago) |
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what was his/their reasoning for why he decided not to let you move into that place with him. why did he choose the other person?
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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