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OfflineTRfetus
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Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 3
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
Is this my Ego? PLEASE HELP EXPLAIN!!!
    #7136079 - 07/06/07 07:52 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Iv only tried shrooms once and i didnt take enough so nothing happened. I do smoke weed though (2-3 times a week.) I started about a year ago. The first time i got high I got the normal effects. The second time freaked me out. I think i saw my ego. And every time i get high i see the same stuff. And parts of it are fun. And it doest really scare me that much anymore. I guess iv gotten used to it.
What i see is my self standing infront of some sort of screen i guess. It looks like a background. the background is moslty red but it has other colors in it and its pretty psychadelic. In my daily life i space out alot, and when i space out when im high i see what i guess is my ego. When i space out i feel like im going deep inside my mind and i forget about everything else and all i see is my ego in front of this screen. The reason im not sure if its my ego or not is because i feel like this is how i see myself, instead of how others see me. Whatever im thinking of, my ego acts or talks extremely fast, like what hes saying has been sped up like on a tape recorder. I can imagine my self doing anything or looking like any thing or any way i want. But it always looks really stupid. For Example i could imagine my self a giraffe and see it. My ego ends almost every sentance with uuummmmmmmmm...Whattt! and then this weird sensation comes on that feels like a repeating feeling. My sentences and this repeating sensation are what freak me out the most. And all through my high when i space out i feel like when i see my ego, all i see is my self acting really silly i guess. And all i can think when i see it is wow i look stupid. And I wonder if this is how I always am if this is the way everyone else sees me. Maybe its because this might be how i see my self (like low self-esteem or something) Maybe it only looks stupid because im seeing my self high. i really dont know. Could anyone clarify whether this is my ego, ego loss, ego death, or something else entirely? If this is my ego then how do i get rid of it or change it or kill it or whatever? I was also wondering if anyone or anyone you know has experienced something similar to this before on any kind of drug?
I will not be able to smoke again until August 15 because of weekly drug tests i have. Next time i smoke im going to write down everything i feel and i post it.


Edited by TRfetus (07/06/07 08:03 AM)


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OfflinePeteomighty
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Registered: 04/13/07
Posts: 337
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Re: Is this my Ego? PLEASE HELP EXPLAIN!!! [Re: TRfetus]
    #7136081 - 07/06/07 07:54 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

.


--------------------
thedudenj said:
drugs no drugs sex no sex hats no hats.


Edited by Peteomighty (07/06/07 10:56 AM)


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OfflinePeteomighty
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Registered: 04/13/07
Posts: 337
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Re: Is this my Ego? PLEASE HELP EXPLAIN!!! [Re: Peteomighty]
    #7136082 - 07/06/07 07:56 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Very intesting post, though.


--------------------
thedudenj said:
drugs no drugs sex no sex hats no hats.


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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
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Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 28,945
Re: Is this my Ego? PLEASE HELP EXPLAIN!!! [Re: TRfetus]
    #7136113 - 07/06/07 08:25 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

the psychedelic effect always involves signal persistence,
what would have faded lasts longer
all things (made of signals) stick around beyond the normal duration in concsiousness.
hence it is natual to see reflections of self, and stringy or elastic connections between things - between moments.
as for ego,
all propensities and habits become more repeatable the more they are repeated.
you could call any human bag of habits "ego", otherwise the meaning falls apart and "ego loss" is a fake terminology for consciousness failing to make any clear steps.

if you need to recondition your habits, study cognitive therapy techniques, or learn to relax using insight meditation (vipassana - use google) and heal your overworked reflexes.


--------------------


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Offlinespammaps
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Registered: 06/28/07
Posts: 58
Last seen: 13 years, 4 months
Re: Is this my Ego? PLEASE HELP EXPLAIN!!! [Re: TRfetus]
    #7136157 - 07/06/07 08:53 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

ok, what you are experiencing there is called depersonalisation,
or at least i think so
this is quite common with all sorts of psychoactive drugs,
i have it almost everytime i smoke weed, but not in such an extreme way as you do
not everybody has it, so i think, you just should be happy and thankful for the gift or capability of seeing/experiencing yourself detatched from the everyday subconscious subjective way of seeing and perceiving things
what you said there about seeing yourself repeating certain actions/words/sentences is very familiar to me and goes away when i'm sober, but i can still remember it
you said, that you wonder, if everybody else is seeing you in that "silly" sort of way
come to think, that everybody perceives things differently,
so if there would be one or another person perceiving you in this light,
that doesn't necessarily mean, that everybody does,
which would be pretty unrealistic actually
just take this as a "gift" you have and don't worry too much about it,
especially when it comes to opinions, other people have
i guess everybody in this age and even above has troubles with theirself and other peoples opinions from time to time
do not smoke weed to often, you're in an age, where your personality/your characted and also your body are still developing,
and by using weed/shrooms and the like too often, you could damage some of the development going on there
i also started smoking weed on a daily basis when i was 15, and it didn't do me no good
maintain it as something special, you do on specific occasion
do not let it become a habit
greets


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OfflinexFrockx
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Registered: 09/18/06
Posts: 10,454
Loc: Northeast
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
Re: Is this my Ego? PLEASE HELP EXPLAIN!!! [Re: spammaps]
    #7136384 - 07/06/07 10:40 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Clark?


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InvisibleKilroyMilosevik
Swiss Ego
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Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 989
Loc: Northwest of Nowhere
Re: Is this my Ego? PLEASE HELP EXPLAIN!!! [Re: xFrockx]
    #7136477 - 07/06/07 11:01 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

I think a better explanation for this is called..... rookieism


after a few years of holdin dope in your lungs you kinda forget all that crazy first few times shit - you just feel good and high, the way it ought to be...

On the other hand, some people just can't handle or don't like weed, but can handle LSD, mushrooms, etc. just fine

I started smoking at 13, but honestly, I only felt high. Can't say I've ever flipped out or saw my ego and it didn't fuck up my way of life too terribly much.

They call psychedelics (including marijuana) "mind expanding" for a reason. Sounds like you can get lost in abstract thought pretty easily, which isn't necessarily a bad thing

However - Spammaps, I gotta hand it to ya, that was a pretty good explanation, but I don't think he's going to grasp all of those concepts for at least a few more years


--------------------
-The door.
-The door is closed.
-Why is the door closed?
        *Gasps*
-Why DOES the door close!?


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OfflineTRfetus
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Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 3
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
Re: Is this my Ego? PLEASE HELP EXPLAIN!!! [Re: xFrockx]
    #7139564 - 07/06/07 11:59 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

whos clark?


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OfflineTRfetus
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Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 3
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
Re: Is this my Ego? PLEASE HELP EXPLAIN!!! [Re: KilroyMilosevik]
    #7139588 - 07/07/07 12:03 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

cool this helped alot thanks


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