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Anonymous

crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...)
    #705966 - 06/27/02 05:44 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

okay, i might as well share with everyone what i managed to get myself into today. i went back to that same field, the one with the crazy farmer bitch. i went during the day. big mistake. i really should have known better. anyway, i get to the field and i'm doing a quick sweep. found like 10 above-average-sized Copes. i spend about ten minutes altogether, and then i'm off. i start making my way to the street when i notice a group of 3 people waiting at the fence, as well as the dreaded red truck. there's some random guy telling me that there is a problem. the other two people -- crazy farmer bitch (looking uglier than ever) and crazy farmer bitch's friend (or maybe her lover... this lady was just as ugly, if not worse!!). CFB tells me that if I try to escape, she'd cut me with her knife. I look down at her side and she is holding a FUCKING MACHETE! I swear to god this is the honest truth. keep in mind, there is a barbed-wire fence between us. she starts waving the thing in the air, telling me that her nasty butch dike friend is on the phone with the Deputy Sheriff. i say to her, "Ma'am, I was just hiking along taking some pictures. I am an amateur photographer. this is my camera (i had one). blah blah blah (the best lying that i could come up with)." she doesn't give any kind of damn at this point and is barking at me like a rabid dog. she must be 60 years old, 4 feet tall, thick glasses, and ugly. oh i already told you that. anyway...
i stealthily chuck the ole bag o' shrooms and i start BOOKING. i mean hauling some serious ass. anywhere. i was frantic. i knew i had to get the fuck out and fast. my first attempt is toward the front gate, but then i realize that she would be blocking my way to get to my car. i decide that's no good, and start running toward the back of the field. bear in mind, this is central florida and it's a bit warm and humid here. just a bit. so i'm sweating like the out-of-shape 22 year old that i am. very heavy breathing which might be attributed to my pack a day cig habit and heavy weed tokage. anyway, i make it to the back fence and hop it as quickly as possible without destroying myself with barbed wire. i land in a dense patch of forest. i figure the deeper in i go, the better my chances of escaping will be. i'm stumbling and tripping on just about every branch i see. finally, i find a suitable hiding spot that is kind of surrounded by foliage. i crouch down and wait. and wait longer. but not long enough. i make my way deeper through the forest where it eventually opens up to a main road. i figure that i'm home free and start walking casually down the street, thinking that it's their word against mine. how could they fuck with me now? not even 2 minutes go by when a Seminole County Sheriff pulls up onto the curb directly in front of me. oh shit. he asks me if i was just tresspassing onto some lady's cow field? i'm like "No officer. I am just walking around taking pictures and such." he starts huffing and puffing about "Now you can make this hard or you can make it easy for yourself" and "I'm giving you the choice now to admit it" and we have witnessed who will ID you" and on and on. he was pissed at me. he thought that i had an attitude. i was almost yelling at him, telling him that i need to get to class by 6:00 PM (which i really did have to get to). i was like "what reason do you have for stopping me?" and "why are you accusing me of something" and shit like that. he tells me to wait. cop car #2 rolls up. this pork-product looked more important than the first. like he had more power or sumthin. they're yapping it up about rights and witnesses and "he fits their description" and shit. cop #2 comes up to me and says "You're not going to like how they fuck you up the ass in jail. big black guys who are gonna fuck you in the ass". i grimace. "you're going to arrest me?" i asked. "as soon as we get a positive ID from those ladies". they tell me to wait. the ladies pull up in the red truck. cope #3 arrives. he looks even more important than the first two slices of bacon. they chat for a while. then cop #2 comes over to me and tells me to turn around, he's placing me under arrest. at this point i am trying to remain completely calm. i have never been arrested before. well not put in cuffs before. they have me in friggin cuffs, the bastards! i keep telling them that i don't know what's going on and that they got the wrong guy and that this is outrageous. the cops keep trying to make me fumble into telling them that i *had* actually jumped this lady's fence so they could charge me with the misdemeanor crime). i stick to my guns and lie like a champ. i mean, i got nothing on me and it's my word against theirs. the three cops *finally*, after much deliberation, decide to let me go. they write down all my information. then the CFB walks up to me and says "I won't remember a name but I always remember a face". I say "Look, I'm sorry lady. I'm sure whoever it was that you saw in your field won't come back again."
ha!! in her face. i got off completely. not even a written warning. i thought i was done for. i guess the shroom gods were good to me. they didn't send me to jail. i am definitely taking a break from hunting and am going to spend a bunch of time on cultivation. damn. it sure is crazy out there!!

peace,
rafi


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OfflineGumbyM
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: ]
    #706238 - 06/27/02 07:28 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Damn dude... thats a crazy ass story. I would have avoided the main road at all costs. You got lucky man. That's the reason I fret over going to fields and checking, I don't have any record with the police and don't want one.

One sugestion for the next time you have a long story: paragraphs, they make the readablilty so much better.

Good luck with cultivation man!

Peace out,
-Gumby


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Invisibleangryshroom
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: ]
    #706338 - 06/27/02 08:09 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Dude!!!
Thats fucking crazy.

OK, my question, why the hell did you go back to that field?!?!?! You already got that major warning from that CFB...I woulda never gone back, or at least not that soon!

Musta been a good feild I take it


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Offlinerosewoodpete
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Registered: 05/11/02
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: angryshroom]
    #706418 - 06/27/02 08:44 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

running from the police sucks. i evaded the cops for three hours one time only to be jumped by six of them. they were after me for more serious stuff though. i still lay in bed fretting about running from the law.


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InvisibleDrD525
what'shappening?!

Registered: 12/30/01
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: rosewoodpete]
    #706539 - 06/27/02 09:38 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

lmao, that sucks. You should have gotten a pic of CFB!


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Offlinebaraka
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: DrD525]
    #707204 - 06/28/02 07:54 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

eep stay out of trouble hehe.


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OfflineNewHunter
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Registered: 04/04/02
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: baraka]
    #707443 - 06/28/02 10:13 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Great Story, i have had almost the same thing happen to me but the cops didnt seem as pissed as the ones you bumped into, they just came up to me and said if they see me in this field again i am going to jail.


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RAIN^^^RAIN^^^RAIN^^^RAIN^^^RAIN


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Invisiblezeta
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: NewHunter]
    #707987 - 06/28/02 02:37 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

all I can say is...YOU FUCKING RETARD


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Offlinedubt
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Registered: 05/26/02
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: ]
    #708821 - 06/28/02 08:07 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

funny, me and my friend recently ran from police into foliage. perimetered the area, we think we heard dogs but maybe not. just tresspassing, and they get like 5 cars on us, lights, sirens and all. also the fucker who called us in was by our car, he was ugly as fuck but was even skinnier than he was grotesque. his eyes were golf balls with big dilated pupils, and huge glasses. also we werent hunting, it was a church. after we evaded police (dont even fucking ask me how) my friend cautiously went back to the car. they were all gone. the cops, with no turnup, probably fiqured the guy was a fucking nut. my friend gets in, gets me, and we go to the nearest swimming pool (technically tresspassing) and fall right in. i lost 120 lbs. running that night.


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I'ts all a fucking lie! Everything written by me is fictional. I don't even exist!


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OfflineShadowSpore
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: ]
    #709438 - 06/28/02 10:22 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Hey that shit is whack!
If you EVER go back post what happens!
LOL


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Invisiblespoonman
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Registered: 06/19/02
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: ]
    #710136 - 06/29/02 05:08 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

That is a nightmare story, except for the part where they let you go.

FIND A NEW FIELD, or cultivate. Cultivation is a pain, and can go wrong, but
you have 0 tresspass stress and theres something ncie about eating what you have grow yourself. It is also pretty damn cheap.


shroom on!


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InvisibleGabbaDj
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: spoonman]
    #710176 - 06/29/02 06:06 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Here in California recently two kids broke into a skate park, tiped over some vending machines and wrecked a few of the parks ramps (all in all about $4,000 in dammage estimated). the owner was their, he chased the guys and caught them, brought them back to the office where he suposidly was talking with a friend and threatened to cut their fingers off with a jig-saw. When all was said and done the kids got off, the guy was charged with falce imprisionment, assult with a deadly weapon, physical assult (he had to tackle one kid when he ran away), and some other things I cant remember. In all 5 felony charges were brought on this guy who found some kids wrecking his business, chased tem, tackled one and made some "threatening" jokes while waiting for the cops. The kids fathers claim that their sons are emotionaly traumatised over the incident and the guy might have to do prision time over this plus having to sell his business to pay for the kids counceling fees. (ONLY IN CALIFRONIA).

Point of the story is that once the woman threatened me and waved a big knife I would know that if anything that bitch would go to jail before I would, trespassing or not. When the cops arrived I would just be like, that woman over their threatened to stab me, all I was doing was taking pictures, I want to press charges. Watch her get put into cuffs then drop the charges later and never have to go to court.


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GabbaDj

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InvisibleFd3000
I'll eat YOU!

Registered: 05/14/02
Posts: 1,356
Loc: ^^ His house ^^
Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: ]
    #710305 - 06/29/02 08:10 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

"You're not going to like how they fuck you up the ass in jail. big black guys who are gonna fuck you in the ass"

Im about 110% sure you can fuck them over for that comment


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___________________________________________________________________
Fd3000 is really a brown dancing monster. He uses the info he gets from his crazy dreams to help those in need. Too bad he doesn't really exist...

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Anonymous

Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: Fd3000]
    #710309 - 06/29/02 08:14 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

That's what I was thinking. I mean, the fuckin cop was threatening the hell out of me. It was pretty creepy.

peace,
rafi


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InvisibleGabbaDj
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: ]
    #712604 - 06/30/02 07:20 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

California is definetly the law suit state.. You could have sued the cop and won for emotional destress.


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GabbaDj

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OfflineSporz
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: ]
    #713366 - 06/30/02 03:49 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

you gotta bee careful when picking those blue meanies!!!!


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InvisibleFreakQlibrium
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: ]
    #724913 - 07/05/02 03:46 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Dude you told that story so well that I felt like I was right there with you.........of course then again I'm on 2 and a half grams which might have something to do with it Never the less........GR8 story, glad you lived to tell


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"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"



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OfflineLCid
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: FreakQlibrium]
    #725355 - 07/05/02 08:30 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

" Cultivation is a pain, and can go wrong, but
you have 0 tresspass stress"

LoL Ya you only gotta worry about going to jail for manufacturing a schedual 1 narcotic now :P


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Offlinezazz
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Registered: 05/28/02
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Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: FreakQlibrium]
    #725375 - 07/05/02 08:41 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

where was your car? wasnt it right by the fence? how did you get to your car again, without crossing your stories and shit. damn thats crazy, thought about checking out some fields here, not anymore.


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OfflineMushroomBoy123
enthusiast

Registered: 05/20/02
Posts: 312
Loc: Wa
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
Re: crazy farmer bitch -- PART TWO! (must read...) [Re: zazz]
    #725524 - 07/05/02 10:01 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

yea i know how you feel, you need to be sneakier, here where i live the best place to pick mushrooms(that im aware of) is a field freakin next to the cop shop, litterally its like 20 feet away from them. it pisses me off.


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