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 Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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 Connection 
#7034572 - 06/11/07 06:02 PM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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We are individuals. We are social animals.
There seems to be a division here in our modern times. Many unhappy, stressed, unhealthy, members of a society all living separate lives.
There is a lot of evidence for the healing power of full connection to another living being. Not just being around them but fully embracing them and loving them and feeling them. Some research I've been reading on curing serious disease seems to be showing that it is the connection to a loving, committed friend or partner that can reverse the disease process. Much more than positive thinking and affirmations, etc.
We are ultimately alone. I have heard this and said it. But are we really? And if we try to live alone and self sufficient what is the outcome? Is truly loving someone and opening yourself as much as you can to them the antithesis of self sufficiency? Or can they co-exist?
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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.
" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.
With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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 Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 1 month, 3 days
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Re: Connection [Re: Icelander]
#7034601 - 06/11/07 06:08 PM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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Truly opening up to someone else is a beautiful and wonderful thing and something I hope to experience. How can you trust the universe if you cannot trust at least one other being fully? It is only detrimental to self-sufficiency if you suffer when the partner with whom you share this deep connection is not with you. Probably hard to steer yourself away from suffering in the prolonged absence of such a partner, but you would know more about that than I. What do you think?
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“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
Edited by Lion (06/11/07 06:14 PM)
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Connection [Re: Lion]
#7034694 - 06/11/07 06:40 PM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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Well my opinion here is in transition. That's why I'm throwing out the question.
You make a good point here How can you trust the universe if you cannot trust at least one other being fully? I like that.
I do agree that you cannot be addicted to another for your wellbeing. Yet making a connection in love and trust seems to be a very courageous act. I have struggled with it and I see few who do it easily. I suspect now that one cannot declare themselves self sufficient if that self sufficiency is the result of an inability to connect with those around oneself in a truly meaningful way.
I'm hoping to get more opinions here from all viewpoints.
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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.
" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.
With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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PhanTomCat
Teh Cat....
Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 5,908
Loc: My Youniverse....
Last seen: 15 years, 1 month
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 Re: Connection [Re: Icelander]
#7034835 - 06/11/07 07:16 PM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said:
And if we try to live alone and self sufficient what is the outcome?
You get used to it, and life goes on....
Just perhaps a more secluded, quiet, and even a more "selfish" lifestyle....
Being alone can "get old", being in a relationship can "get old"....
Everything can "get old", and when recognized, can be motivation for attempting change towards what you think you may need....
Being in love in a meaningful relationship is not over-rated (if the pairing is right), but if it not there, life does go on.... 
>^;;^<
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I'll be your midnight French Fry.... 
"The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...."
>^;;^<
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: Connection [Re: Icelander]
#7034956 - 06/11/07 07:42 PM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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I think that the only way we are truly capable of entering into such a relationship in which we are always capable of maintaining that deep, loving connection is to be rather self-sufficient. I do not think that one has to be perfect, but I think there is a point of no return, so to speak, at which the relationship itself will dissolve obstructions of that connection. If one is too obstructed, one will only get in one's way of that connection, and prevent it from naturally occurring. If one is rooted in security-level addictions, well, the first three levels really, then one isn't going to be capable of being centered in the being together. 
I think this type of real connection, as you have referred to it, a continual state of being in which two individuals interact with each other on every single level, sharing the same awareness and experience of reality, is akin to the "Unmitigated Light of Reality". This type of mutual, aware connection can purify each other, subsequently pulling each other closer and closer. I think it is the same force that created the stars. 
Sharing this connection, IMO, is not only healing, but the greatest, most effective catalyst to personal growth, development, and evolution. It serves to defy conventional understanding of the nature of reality in the most amazing ways. 
I used to be struck by the notion that I am having an experience of reality (still am, of course, but its much different now due to the nature of all this  ). People become so conditioned that they do not even really realize that they are living this life. To find someone that is the perfect being for you in every way, and for them to share this feeling and to instantly, effortlessly find yourselves immersed within each other, to feel as though you have always known them and, at the same time, just met, and to know it has always been this way and always will be.... its.... transformative, to say the least.
Immerse yourself within this connection, my friend. When two self-sufficient, realized beings find each other and focus all of this awareness into each other, its very powerful and transformative. 
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If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
 
 
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
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Re: Connection [Re: Icelander]
#7034976 - 06/11/07 07:46 PM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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Real connection implies two people feeling the same and in the same time being true to themselves. That facilitates a perfect and continuous fluency and exchange of feelings thoughts and ideas. This brings great feelings to the surface and the honest and unaffected need to share everything all the time.
This is real connection, when two people become one and are exactly on the same frequency. It becomes one's well being to experience and manifest that connection and feels no constrains in doing so.
Why does making a connection in love have to be a courageous act?
In my opinion, connection happens when two persons are fully ready for that so it will take no effort or second thoughts, it just flows like the most natural thing and it comes from the depth of our beings. When we get over all our fears, past experiences, bad choices that we made in the past and the like.
We are entirely captivated by that closeness and we come from the deepest selves to complete the other.
When we don't ask ourselfves whether we should trust or not, and not because we're controlling our fears but because we don't feel them at all .
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All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
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Veritas
Registered: 04/15/05 
Posts: 11,089
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Re: Connection [Re: Icelander]
#7035013 - 06/11/07 07:54 PM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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My "best guess" about the healing power of connection is that we could experience it with everyone, not just a "significant other," if we were not stuck on the idea of maintaining distance.
Fairy tales, romance novels & movies have done us a great disservice in portraying the only deep, meaningful relationships as LOVE AFFAIRS.
While we might choose to be sexually monogamous, I think that emotional monogamy is fairy unhealthy and unnatural. If we would allow ourselves to connect with and love everyone whom we encountered, to the extent possible/appropriate, I think that we would find ourselves in love with Life itself. And that, IMO, is what heals us, as the lack thereof makes us emotionally and physically ill.
As it stands, I think that partnered relationships have the greatest potential, given our social programming, to reconnect us with the love of Life. If we remember that the beloved is a conduit for this deeper love, we may be able to love them without clinging, lose them without suffering, and continue to love ourselves no matter what relational circumstances we experience. 
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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I think this type of real connection, as you have referred to it, a continual state of being in which two individuals interact with each other on every single level, sharing the same awareness and experience of reality, is akin to the "Unmitigated Light of Reality". This type of mutual, aware connection can purify each other, subsequently pulling each other closer and closer. I think it is the same force that created the stars.
I don't think I'm ready to quite go this far.  But I'm exploring the connection.
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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.
" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.
With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Being alone can "get old", being in a relationship can "get old"....
Yes it can. But does it have to? It seems there are some who continually find life in whatever curcumstance, un-boring.
--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.
" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.
With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Connection [Re: Veritas]
#7035295 - 06/11/07 08:57 PM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Veritas said:
My "best guess" about the healing power of connection is that we could experience it with everyone, not just a "significant other," if we were not stuck on the idea of maintaining distance.
Fairy tales, romance novels & movies have done us a great disservice in portraying the only deep, meaningful relationships as LOVE AFFAIRS.
While we might choose to be sexually monogamous, I think that emotional monogamy is fairy unhealthy and unnatural. If we would allow ourselves to connect with and love everyone whom we encountered, to the extent possible/appropriate, I think that we would find ourselves in love with Life itself. And that, IMO, is what heals us, as the lack thereof makes us emotionally and physically ill.
As it stands, I think that partnered relationships have the greatest potential, given our social programming, to reconnect us with the love of Life. If we remember that the beloved is a conduit for this deeper love, we may be able to love them without clinging, lose them without suffering, and continue to love ourselves no matter what relational circumstances we experience.
Sweet!
--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.
" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.
With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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PhanTomCat
Teh Cat....
Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 5,908
Loc: My Youniverse....
Last seen: 15 years, 1 month
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 Re: Connection [Re: Icelander]
#7043596 - 06/13/07 08:28 PM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said:
Being alone can "get old", being in a relationship can "get old"....
.
Yes it can. But does it have to? It seems there are some who continually find life in whatever curcumstance, un-boring.
Does it have to....? No.... Not in theory anyways....
Does it in reality...? Depends on how compatible you are to begin with - and whether you are compatible with yourself, and/or someone else....
And visa~versa~....
And honestly, I find the state of "being bored" as more of a moment where I find myself -
wishing I were doing something different at that time, while currently doing something else....
(like sitting down and paying the bills, while mentally wanting to go play guitar....)
>^;;^<
--------------------
I'll be your midnight French Fry....
"The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...."
>^;;^<
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