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OfflineHB
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is it normal to only have nightmares? every night?
    #6996213 - 06/01/07 06:01 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

I'm plagued every night by nightmares which are horribly unsettling. A few nights ago I was in a dream walking by this hispanic guy sitting on a bench, and as I walked by he got up and started following me ...

When I turned around, he grabbed me and started dragging me away, saying he was going to "break my face into a million pieces", while I pleaded with him to pay him whatever he wanted from my wallet to not get fucked up.

This kind of shit happens to me in dreams quite often. People talk a lot about flying in their dreams and enjoying themselves and so on, and yet I ONLY seem to have horrible nightmares which make me wish I was never asleep ... what bothers me is that they ALL are so realistic that I could imagine them happening in real life. it's not like I deal with monsters or anything, they're far less scary than real monsters anyway.

Is this normal? I'm going through an exceptionally tough (and lonely) time, as I feel have no friends whatsoever in the city I live in anymore ... the ones I had no longer call me because I don't want to smoke pot to the point of being a loser anymore, and others I don't want to hang out with because they bring me down and are users and salesmen of the soul. Unlike so many people I've known, I've never had a "best friend" through my whole life, and consequently feel quite lonely.

On top of that, my dad no longer is friendly because I was honest with him about how I felt when his dad died, whom I really felt nothing for. Since then he never called me, and I had to call him yesterday to attempt to be friendly. He briefly called me today but sounded so miserable and unfriendly that I didn't care to speak to him at all, even though I tried being friendly. He's the most intense person I've ever known.

Meanwhile at my mom's house, which is where I live currently, she makes me more anxious than absolutely anything else in the world. She appears loving and is willing to help me out with things, but she treats me in a manner that reminds me of how she treated my dad when she talked to him on the phone ... and I FEEL no love from her, and the second we start talking I just don't feel good. And for no reason, either.

Basically, I feel I don't belong ANYWHERE in the world. Everybody seems so full of their own fucking selves and put up walls and play such bullshit games that my natural honesty and care just fucks me over around these power-mongers. Frankly, I'm starting to feel like most people can just go fuck themselves, in contrast to the unconditional love I've had since I was born for the world and the people within it. I just don't care anymore, most people really don't seem to deserve it.

I imagine all of that, and all the other shit I'm dealing with are what contribute so heavily to my lengthy nightmares and lack of truly restful sleep.

I've noticed, too, that since quitting pot 5 days ago, I've been dangerously temperamental, and at times scared of my own negative, pissed-off energy, like today. I feel so much more aware now, and the more I understand, the more jaded and angry I become. I've felt like smashing shit up since morning, and I've never felt feelings like this.

Maybe today was just one of those days I kind of wish never happened. Although nothing specifically happened to really upset me, I've spent the whole day outside in the "real world", since early morning doing things to improve my situation in life, and have found just how many people are not only completely unhelpful when you need it, but will also purposefully ignore you or try to start shit just for being real, honest and sensitive, all of my personal attributes.

I know a lot of it had to do with the fact that I'm white and hispanics/mexicans in Los Angeles will fuck with you if you're white and seem even slightly hesitant or unsure of yourself somewhere ... It just pisses me the fuck off. I feel that the whole world is going to the trash, and I don't see a reason not to fuck myself up on norcos and alcohol tonight, alone, in a crazy amount. I just don't see why I try so hard to be friendly and help myself and the world and be honest and upfront and optimistic when the world is SO FUCKED UP.

Any thoughts? Today is the angriest and most out of control I've EVER been in my life, and it's quite unsettling. I'm just pissed off.


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OfflineDrCamacho89
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: HB]
    #6996228 - 06/01/07 06:05 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

I didn't read the whole thing, sorry :shrug:  I did make it far enough to agree with you that those hispanics are some scary mofos.

In all seriousness, they're just dreams.  They reflect your mood and what's going on in your life at the time.  Nightmares may represent your brain working through an unpleasant issue in your life, your brain doesn't shut off, even when you're sleeping.  Just live your life and don't be afraid of your own brain.


--------------------
"The Highways of Life are Paved with Flat Squirrels who Couldn't Make Up Their Minds"


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Invisiblesui
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: DrCamacho89]
    #6996250 - 06/01/07 06:11 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

did the dreams become prevelant after you quit the herb? Chronic use of cannabis and suddenly stopping does have an effect of a persons sleep rythum and dreams.

I would suggest looking into Lucid dreaming. learn to control your dreams. then when you have a nightmare you can change it to whatever you want.


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix


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OfflineHB
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: DrCamacho89]
    #6996251 - 06/01/07 06:11 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

I just don't really understand what to do when you feel like you're uncomfortable around everybody and even your own self, because your own brain attacks you and there's nobody who's REALLY there for you, and the home and bed you sleep in make you feel like shit. Even my immune system attacks me because I have an autoimmune disease, and people attack me for having it, too.

Why do so many people make it so far in life being pricks and devious manipulators and game-players, and the honest people end up suffering?

I guess I just understand a lot less about the world than I ever thought I did.


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OfflineJohn Smith
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: DrCamacho89]
    #6996260 - 06/01/07 06:13 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

quitting pot is known to enhance the clarity and memory of dreams...

i think you are just going through a tough phase...if you cant find confort in the outside world,find it in the inside.

Create your own happiness.:sun:


--------------------
I have no idea what I am talking about but I do know I say things you don't understand and if you do understand what I am saying then you are wrong.


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OfflineHB
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: sui]
    #6996264 - 06/01/07 06:15 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

suimush said:
did the dreams become prevelant after you quit the herb? Chronic use of cannabis and suddenly stopping does have an effect of a persons sleep rythum and dreams.

I would suggest looking into Lucid dreaming. learn to control your dreams. then when you have a nightmare you can change it to whatever you want.




I've always had nightmares, honestly .. like, ALWAYS. but after quitting herb, yes, I'm now aware and able to remember my dreams, so they appear to me in more excruciating detail than ever.

Lucid dreaming would be fine and all, it just seems that maybe the problems are more deeply rooted than in my sense of control while dreaming. My sense of control while dreaming seems perfectly aligned with my sense of control in general, which for some reason is all but lost. I used to have a sense of control in the world, but as I became less ignorant I learned I really had no control whatsoever, and that it's just an illusion.

I don't know, maybe this isn't really something that you guys could help me with, I might just have to fight this entire battle alone.


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OfflineDrCamacho89
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: HB]
    #6996266 - 06/01/07 06:15 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

There is a real short answer to your problem: This world is fucked up and unfair. You gotta learn to let stupid people and their actions roll off your back. You can only control your actions and expect everyone else's to be different. Didn't Seinfeld estimate that 97 percent of people are unattractive and stupid? Just take that route and you'll learn to deal eventually.


--------------------
"The Highways of Life are Paved with Flat Squirrels who Couldn't Make Up Their Minds"


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Invisiblesui
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: HB]
    #6996270 - 06/01/07 06:16 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

there are manipulators that got the shit end of the stick and there are great people that have everything, just like life. its give and take. HB ive seen you post alot over the last couple of years and one thing that i have seen you represent is that no drug is more powerful that the human mind.

dreams are chemical reactions in the brain so to say that you surrender to them is crazy. YOU HAVE CONTROL. Look into lucid dreaming i think it can help.


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix


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Offlinenolongerinuse
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: HB]
    #6996272 - 06/01/07 06:16 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

To have nightmares every night is normal, especially if you eat sugars during the day.

I dream everynight, and recourring people come and visit me. We usually just hang out, and point at eachother.


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InvisibleLe_Canard
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: HB]
    #6996273 - 06/01/07 06:17 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Yes, the bad dreams will pass as your brain gets used to not having THC there.


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Invisiblesui
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: HB]
    #6996279 - 06/01/07 06:18 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

HB said:
Quote:

suimush said:
did the dreams become prevelant after you quit the herb? Chronic use of cannabis and suddenly stopping does have an effect of a persons sleep rythum and dreams.

I would suggest looking into Lucid dreaming. learn to control your dreams. then when you have a nightmare you can change it to whatever you want.




I've always had nightmares, honestly .. like, ALWAYS. but after quitting herb, yes, I'm now aware and able to remember my dreams, so they appear to me in more excruciating detail than ever.

Lucid dreaming would be fine and all, it just seems that maybe the problems are more deeply rooted than in my sense of control while dreaming. My sense of control while dreaming seems perfectly aligned with my sense of control in general, which for some reason is all but lost. I used to have a sense of control in the world, but as I became less ignorant I learned I really had no control whatsoever, and that it's just an illusion.

I don't know, maybe this isn't really something that you guys could help me with, I might just have to fight this entire battle alone.




but that is what man strives for, the illusion of control, by realising that you have none i think your better off than alot of people.

Like no one man can save the world but one man can inspire the world to save themselves.


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix


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OfflineNewbieM
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: HB]
    #6996298 - 06/01/07 06:26 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

The recurring dreams are a huge plus in learning how to awake in your dreams and attain lucidity. I'd look into it, it's really rewarding.


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OfflineHB
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: sui]
    #6996301 - 06/01/07 06:26 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

suimush said:
but that is what man strives for, the illusion of control, by realising that you have none i think your better off than alot of people.




that's EXACTLY what bothers me. the universe puts you in a world of consistent and endless double-binds and expects you to rest somewhere comfortably in the middle, and it just DOESN'T make sense, after having seen the truth of my own universe in my head on some seriously intense trips. I feel so understood that I feel psychotic for still living in this world of such bullshit and insanity.

I really feel psychotic, but unfortunately anti-psychotics won't help me ... I just know too much for my young age and completely lost the game everybody else was playing at my age through the years. I've always been overly mature, and I just wish I could "fit in" to some extent and be ignorant all over again ... the responsibility that comes with my knowledge is too much for one man, and I feel like a martyr who never intended to be. I feel like Jesus being crowned with thorns and staked to the cross. that's EXACTLY how I feel.

sorry I'm such a downer guys. this isn't really my day, but I do appreciate that you all care and reply at all.


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OfflineHB
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: Newbie]
    #6996303 - 06/01/07 06:27 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

NewbieShroomie said:
The recurring dreams are a huge plus in learning how to awake in your dreams and attain lucidity. I'd look into it, it's really rewarding.




it appears as though lucid dreaming is my only hope, based on everybody's recommendations. I guess I'll start looking into it when I calm down a bit ..


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OfflineNoviseer
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: HB]
    #6996328 - 06/01/07 06:33 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

listen man. this is a mood. That's all it is. A very convincing bad mood. It happens sometimes, and it will pass. The last time I decided to quit smoking pot, I had the same kinds of feelings. I remember one night I was at this horrible bar, and I was just convinced that life was not worth living, that talking to people was not worth the effort... I felt like I knew something that most people didn't realize--I knew that life was just a drag, an endless search for comfort.

There is truth in that. life is hard, and it is an endless search for elusive comfort. That doesn't mean it isn't worth living, though, and it doesn't mean that happiness isn't possible. There are plenty of wise and happy people in the world.

emotions are like mental weather--you're not going to feel like this forever. Have faith that eventually the clouds will part. They will.


--------------------
_______________________________________________________________
namaste said:
no flamz in da ODD, if you got nothing to contribute then keep yo lips zipped
_________________________________________________________________


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OfflineDrCamacho89
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: HB]
    #6996331 - 06/01/07 06:35 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

You're cool, man. Just take a breath. You fit in with more people than you think. There are a lot of people out there who know so much and have a deeper view/understanding of life. Those people just aren't presently around you, but they're out there. Call some old friends. Get in touch with who you are. We're all going through the same sort of confusion, trust me.

The first week of non-smoking always sucks. It gets better...


--------------------
"The Highways of Life are Paved with Flat Squirrels who Couldn't Make Up Their Minds"


Edited by DrCamacho89 (06/01/07 06:35 PM)


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Invisiblesui
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: HB]
    #6996333 - 06/01/07 06:36 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

HB said:
Quote:

suimush said:
did the dreams become prevalent after you quit the herb? Chronic use of cannabis and suddenly stopping does have an effect of a persons sleep rhythm and dreams.

I would suggest looking into Lucid dreaming. learn to control your dreams. then when you have a nightmare you can change it to whatever you want.




Lucid dreaming would be fine and all, it just seems that maybe the problems are more deeply rooted than in my sense of control while dreaming. My sense of control while dreaming seems perfectly aligned with my sense of control in general, which for some reason is all but lost. I used to have a sense of control in the world, but as I became less ignorant I learned I really had no control whatsoever, and that it's just an illusion.




but possibly gaining control in your dreams, the only place where you would have complete control, will alleviate the feeling of needing to be in complete control in waking life?


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix


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OfflineHB
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: DrCamacho89]
    #6996348 - 06/01/07 06:40 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

thanks a lot guys, I agree, and I already feel a lot better ... I've just never felt this much intense energy in myself in my entire life, and it kind of scared me. but I really agree with just about everybody in the thread, and it does show me that some people really DO care and are willing to help ... they just aren't within my direct vicinity.

thanks guys ... I would normally say now that I'll spark one up and forget about this whole event, but no, that's not the case anymore ... looks like I'm in for the long haul, for better or worse ...


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OfflineHB
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: sui]
    #6996351 - 06/01/07 06:42 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

suimush said:
but possibly gaining control in your dreams, the only place where you would have complete control, will alleviate the feeling of needing to be in complete control in waking life?




that's a VERY good point. my dreams ARE in fact the only place where I COULD have complete control in my life. looks like lucid dreaming really is the answer for the time being.


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Invisiblesui
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Re: is it normal to only have nightmares? every night? [Re: HB]
    #6996358 - 06/01/07 06:44 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

HB said:
thanks a lot guys, I agree, and I already feel a lot better ... I've just never felt this much intense energy in myself in my entire life, and it kind of scared me.  but I really agree with just about everybody in the thread, and it does show me that some people really DO care and are willing to help ... they just aren't within my direct vicinity.

thanks guys ... I would normally say now that I'll spark one up and forget about this whole event, but no, that's not the case anymore ... looks like I'm in for the long haul, for better or worse ...




no prob man. Good luck with quitting the herb. Hope you work out this issue and post a update when your feeling better :thumbup:


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix


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