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Offlinewhy_not_me
I live tranquilized
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I cant stop...(plz read)
    #6971592 - 05/26/07 11:12 PM (16 years, 10 months ago)

cutting myself... I made a post a while back
about my girlfriend cutting herself but Its really me.

Honestly I cannot stop.. I try to hide them as much
as possible. I am not doing this for attention.
I do this to stop the anxiety n panic attacks I've been
having for years so I can leave my house.

how can i stop?

I've been on Xanax and it helped so much but i got addicted
to it so they took me off.

I've been taking valerian root, 5htp, passion flower... etc

nothing stops this constant anxiety...

i dont wanna kill myself but how long can I deal with this?


not the rest of my life.


--------------------
Feed Your Head.

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InvisibleMushmanTheManic
Stranger

Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 4,587
Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: why_not_me]
    #6971820 - 05/26/07 11:52 PM (16 years, 10 months ago)

I have heard good things about SAFE (Self Abuse Finally Ends), but other than that I can't help you out much. I injured myself before due to an extremely high amount of stress and frustration that seemed to have no other outlet. Why I choose that particular route for relieving my frustration I can't say. All I can suggest is learning about Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy and seeing a therapist if you're not seeing one already. :shrug:

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OfflineChazzersize
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Registered: 11/30/03
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Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: why_not_me]
    #6971922 - 05/27/07 12:08 AM (16 years, 10 months ago)

Saying "just stop cutting yourself" sounds easy...but I think it might be a little harder for you.

The best thing for you would to TRY to stop and be proactive by taking up new hobbies...or anything that you can find pleasure in that takes up a good chunk of time.

Take fishing for example.

I used to have terrible OCD...and one thing that helped me get those urges out of my mind were legos. I'd build and build when I had the time and it really fucking helped.

That and smoking pot. If you arent already on the pot, it works great for depression too.

Just keep your time to sit around and think and think to a BARE minimum.

Keep us updated and good luck :sun:


--------------------
Take off my mask and leave the lies to the liars.

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OfflineMushroomTrip
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Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: why_not_me]
    #6972434 - 05/27/07 03:39 AM (16 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

I do this to stop the anxiety n panic attacks I've been
having for years so I can leave my house.




How did your anxiety attacks started in the first place?


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:

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InvisibleStickyWater
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Registered: 06/09/05
Posts: 1,680
Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #6972584 - 05/27/07 06:03 AM (16 years, 10 months ago)


Edited by StickyWater (04/29/08 01:03 PM)

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Offlinefreddurgan
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Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: StickyWater]
    #6972840 - 05/27/07 08:23 AM (16 years, 9 months ago)

Go see a therapist man. It's only so therapeutic to type as opposed to talking to another human being. Trust me on that one.


--------------------
Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/

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Invisiblespiritualemerg
Stranger

Registered: 03/28/07 Happy 17th Shroomiversary!
Posts: 366
Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: freddurgan]
    #6972956 - 05/27/07 09:19 AM (16 years, 9 months ago)

MushmantheManic: I have heard good things about SAFE (Self Abuse Finally Ends)

I tracked down a link: S.A.F.E.  This page from their site is very informative: Self Injury Facts


StickyWater: I know a lot of what I'm saying probably sounds stupid or like it wont work, but trust me, your mind takes what you want it to take. You can either focus on the negatives, or you can search for positives and try to pull those out as much as you can.

The voice of experience is often the most helpful voice.  :thumbup:

Here's another link that may be helpful to you why-not-me.  Psychcentral: Self-Injury Forum.  The emphasis in that community is on peer support.  It's also a moderated community so if you participate, you needn't fear that you're going to end up facing down some asshole who doesn't have any insight into what you're going through. 

MushroomTrip's words are sound ones as well for you already know that your behavior is a symptom of your anxiety.  If you deal with the root source of the behavior chances are that the symptoms will go away on their own.

Can therapy help you?  Possibly, but a good therapist can be difficult to find and expensive to keep.  You've been on Xanax so I'm going to assume that you've already been exposed to some degree of a therapeutic relationship.  If you have a therapist who you can comfortably work with, by all means, go back and see them.  If you don't have one, can't find one, or can't afford one, bear in mind that no one knows you better or has more insight into your personal burden than you -- you are in an excellent position to be your own therapist but it may require some shifts in attitude, knowledge and support.

  • Attitude: In order to get well you have to be capable of believing it's possible; if you don't hold that belief within you, no therapist, no peer, no book, no medication will be capable of helping you. 

  • Peer Support: Peers are those who can identify with where you are because they've been there.  They can empathize with what you're going through and share insights into what they've found helpful/not helpful.  Some of them are in an excellent position to offer a hand up, although not a hand out.  No one else can walk your path for you, only you can do that.

  • Knowledge: Information is treatment.  The more you know about why you do what you do and what your options are, the better equipped you'll be to move out of the space you're currently in.  Knowledge can be divided into two basic categories: Self-Knowledge and Other-Knowledge.  Other-Knowledge includes that offered by peers, books, articles and professionals.  Seek out the knowledge of others and balance it against your own knowledge of self.  You already have a very powerful tool in your hands in the form of the internet -- answers are out there.

    Best of luck to you.


  • --------------------
    ~ Kindness is cheap.  It's unkindness that always demands the highest price.

    Blogs: Spiritual Emergency | Spiritual Recovery | Voices of Recovery | A Jungian Approach to Psychosis

    Edited by spiritualemerg (05/27/07 09:53 AM)

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    OfflineFollowTheMusic
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    Registered: 11/11/06
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    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: why_not_me]
        #6973111 - 05/27/07 10:14 AM (16 years, 9 months ago)

    Try here too: Social Anxiety Institute

    It's a commercial product but it might help or suggest other good avenues for help.

    :peace::heart:

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    OfflineWScott
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    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: FollowTheMusic]
        #6973498 - 05/27/07 12:16 PM (16 years, 9 months ago)

    Prayer and meditation. Pray as if you're asking the universe and beyond, in which you are a integral and necessary part, with as much of you're being as you can, for solutions and reconciliation to problems you have no idea how to face on your own.


    --------------------

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    Offlinewhy_not_me
    I live tranquilized
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    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: MushroomTrip]
        #6973530 - 05/27/07 12:28 PM (16 years, 9 months ago)

    My anxiety started with a bad trip my 1st time on CID.

    Well I wouldn't say thats what caused It directly.
    I definitely have some sort of mental illness and I think
    Lucy just brought it out.

    Basically before that I was 100% carefree and had no problems
    going anywhere with groups of people around.

    It has gotten so bad I can't walk down busy streets unless
    its dark out and not busy... Malls and state fair are a no go
    unless I'm self medicating some way.

    The only thing that i feel comfortable at with large amounts
    of people are raves and concerts.

    I have stopped all drug use besides weed because it helps so
    much. I can smoke once in a day and I am perfectly fine.


    --------------------
    Feed Your Head.

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    Offlinewhy_not_me
    I live tranquilized
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    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: StickyWater]
        #6973600 - 05/27/07 12:50 PM (16 years, 9 months ago)

    Your post left me speechless.. At times I was almost curious
    as to whether or not you are in my head reading my mind.

    Your post was single handedly the most influential thing I have
    read. Thank you so much for giving your input. :sunny:


    --------------------
    Feed Your Head.

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    Offlinewhy_not_me
    I live tranquilized
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    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: why_not_me]
        #6973634 - 05/27/07 01:00 PM (16 years, 9 months ago)

    All of you have such good input. :thumbup:

    Thank you, everyone's words are motivation to do better.

    Besides what I listed, are there any other OTC herbal type of medicine
    I can use to ease anxiety?

    Therapy is hard for me because I have such a hard time opening up
    to someone I don't know.  I never end up being honest with them.


    --------------------
    Feed Your Head.

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    InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
    one-eyed willie

    Registered: 07/08/03
    Posts: 42,409
    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: why_not_me]
        #6973876 - 05/27/07 02:37 PM (16 years, 9 months ago)

    Quote:

    why_not_me said:
    I have stopped all drug use besides weed because it helps so
    much. I can smoke once in a day and I am perfectly fine.




    You do know that when one has bad anxiety issues smoking weed probably isn't the best thing to be doing right?


    --------------------
    m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.

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    InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
    one-eyed willie

    Registered: 07/08/03
    Posts: 42,409
    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) *DELETED* [Re: why_not_me]
        #6973882 - 05/27/07 02:39 PM (16 years, 9 months ago)

    Post deleted by matt

    Reason for deletion: x



    --------------------
    m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.

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    InvisibleNeon
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    Registered: 01/04/05
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    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: why_not_me]
        #6974070 - 05/27/07 03:48 PM (16 years, 9 months ago)

    Plenty of herbs for anxiety:

    Bacopa, ashwagandha, gotu kola, rhodiola, mulungu, catuaba, kanna, chamomile, spearmint, peppermint, lemon balm and many more.

    I'm using bacopa at the moment, it works very well. Bacopa is great for lowering anxiety, but if taken in excess can cause anger, so less is more. I would recommend a combination of bacopa and ashwagandha. Gotu kola and ashwagandha would be a 2nd choice. A combination of chamomile, spearmint and/or peppermint tea can help calm anxiety. I suggest drinking this tea before going out in public in addition to the ashwagandha, bacopa or gotu kola.

    Bacopa and gotu kola are the greatest meditation enhancing herbs I have ever taken, and they have been used for this purpose in India for thousands of years. Ashwagandha also helps with meditation, although in my experience bacopa and gotu kola work a bit better. So not only do these herbs directly relieve anxiety, but they also enhance meditation practice, further reducing anxiety. Bacopa, gotu kola, and ashwagandha have many other uses, such as enhanced cognitive function, blood detoxification, and healing wounds.

    Kanna is an empathogen, like ecstacy, milder of course but still very effective. It works great for anxiety and depression, and could be of great help in therapy sessions or opening up to others in general. This herb is terribly underrated. With the help of this herb I was able to overcome my agoraphobia (fear of leaving the home). Unfortunately finding quality kanna is very difficult, there is a lot of bunk material out there.

    Exercise is important when treating anxiety of course, but I suggest focusing on building strength in the back muscles and stretching to increase their flexibility. It will be impossible to maintain good posture with a back that is stiff or weak, resulting in anxiety. Increasing the strength and flexibility of other muscles such as the legs or abs is important in maintaining good posture as well. I made the mistake in thinking cardio alone would be sufficient to reduce anxiety. It did help some, but much bigger improvements came when I improved my posture through strength training and stretching/yoga.

    In the majority of cases, it is my opinion that anxiety is something that one must go to war with. One cannot often rely on a single course of action to take it down. Attack it from as many angles as possible simultaneously, using a positive state of mind, cardio, strength training, stretching or yoga, good diet, good sleeping habits, medicinal herbs, meditation, therapy, supportive friends and/or family, laughter, music, philosophy, spending time outdoors, detoxification, quitting drugs, or anything else that helps. One should do as much as one can, not letting the anxiety have a fighting chance. Getting started is the hard part, medicinal herbs can help one maintain a positive state of mind, making the rest of the job easier.

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    InvisibleStickyWater
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    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
        #6974269 - 05/27/07 04:47 PM (16 years, 9 months ago)


    Edited by StickyWater (04/29/08 01:01 PM)

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    InvisiblePsychoactive1984
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    Registered: 02/06/05
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    Loc: California, Monterey Coun...
    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: why_not_me]
        #6974305 - 05/27/07 04:57 PM (16 years, 9 months ago)

    Seems to me all it requires is will power... Its all about how you cope and why you think that will better you, it may be addictive, but you've taken the first step in seeking help.

    Pills and medications... these only solve the symptoms, not the underlying problem.

    Therapy; a waste of good money. Have the desire to change? Then let that be a motivator.

    Look to the underlying reasons as to what causes them, either change your viewpoint or stay out of situations that cause the anxiety. The easy thing to do is to change your perception of events, have a trip, go into complete solitude and root out the causes.

    Hope it helps, it seems overly simplistic, but is your best bet.


    --------------------
    "Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
    "We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
    "Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
    -It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
    -Substance over Style.
    -Common sense is uncommon.

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    InvisibleStickyWater
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    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: Psychoactive1984]
        #6974325 - 05/27/07 05:03 PM (16 years, 9 months ago)


    Edited by StickyWater (04/29/08 01:01 PM)

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    InvisiblePsychoactive1984
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    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: StickyWater]
        #6974390 - 05/27/07 05:24 PM (16 years, 9 months ago)

    Why pay for therapy when we can provide much of the same, more perspectives, and at a cost thats affordable. I know a little bit about behavior therapy :smirk:.

    I say to trip to be introspective, and in all honesty if the issue is cutting and he/she has taken the first steps to come here, I see only further progress providing the motivation is their.


    --------------------
    "Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
    "We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
    "Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
    -It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
    -Substance over Style.
    -Common sense is uncommon.

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    InvisibleStickyWater
    Stranger
    Registered: 06/09/05
    Posts: 1,680
    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: Psychoactive1984]
        #6974513 - 05/27/07 06:05 PM (16 years, 9 months ago)


    Edited by StickyWater (04/29/08 01:02 PM)

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    InvisiblePsychoactive1984
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    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: StickyWater]
        #6974859 - 05/27/07 07:36 PM (16 years, 9 months ago)

    True I've never gotten to that point even and especially when attempting to, I suppose i just can't imagine it form my perspective what motivates a person to do that rather then address the issues.

    As for tripping I see it as a relatively benign experience ultimately through the eyes of radical constructivism i.e. we are the creators of our collective experience so as long as you realize its all in your head you can figure it out. Cutting and what not are also related to psychological coping mechanism so I also believe that in the same respects its also all in your head. I suppose if your coming from a different perspective and rationalize differently it could injurious to ones health.


    --------------------
    "Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
    "We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
    "Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
    -It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
    -Substance over Style.
    -Common sense is uncommon.

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    InvisibleStickyWater
    Stranger
    Registered: 06/09/05
    Posts: 1,680
    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: Psychoactive1984]
        #6975939 - 05/28/07 12:09 AM (16 years, 9 months ago)


    Edited by StickyWater (04/29/08 12:58 PM)

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    InvisiblePsychoactive1984
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    Registered: 02/06/05
    Posts: 3,546
    Loc: California, Monterey Coun...
    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: StickyWater]
        #6976002 - 05/28/07 12:40 AM (16 years, 9 months ago)

    Thanks for sharing, I don't believe drugs will solve any problems, but they will certainly help clarify the issues at hand if used properly.


    --------------------
    "Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
    "We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
    "Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
    -It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
    -Substance over Style.
    -Common sense is uncommon.

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    InvisibleZippoZM
    Knomadic
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    Registered: 06/17/03
    Posts: 13,227
    Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: Psychoactive1984]
        #6977191 - 05/28/07 10:32 AM (16 years, 9 months ago)

    Quote:

    Psychoactive1984 said:
    Why pay for therapy when we can provide much of the same, more perspectives, and at a cost thats affordable. I know a little bit about behavior therapy :smirk:.

    I say to trip to be introspective, and in all honesty if the issue is cutting and he/she has taken the first steps to come here, I see only further progress providing the motivation is their.




    we arent therapists, andthe real thing is alot different from the support that we can give.

    Why_not_me

    you took a very powerful first step in admitting your problem, and its clear that you no longer want this for yourself and are on the path to recovery. just give it your all and you can make it out.

    that being said, there are plenty of medications that can help you with social anxiety that a therapist can help you get. :smile: <3


    --------------------
    PEACE

    :mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



    "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

    "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

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    InvisibleZippoZM
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    Registered: 06/17/03
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    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: Psychoactive1984]
        #6977193 - 05/28/07 10:33 AM (16 years, 9 months ago)

    Quote:

    Psychoactive1984 said:
    Why pay for therapy when we can provide much of the same, more perspectives, and at a cost thats affordable. I know a little bit about behavior therapy :smirk:.

    I say to trip to be introspective, and in all honesty if the issue is cutting and he/she has taken the first steps to come here, I see only further progress providing the motivation is their.




    --------------------
    PEACE

    :mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



    "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

    "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

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    InvisibleStickyWater
    Stranger
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    Re: I cant stop...(plz read) [Re: ZippoZ]
        #6990121 - 05/31/07 02:55 AM (16 years, 9 months ago)


    Edited by StickyWater (04/29/08 12:56 PM)

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